You're Not? That's A Shame. Immediately, A Blush Rises Onto Julius' Expression, Eyes Widening A Fraction

he sensed it behind him, head lilting and shifting up a fraction as that sensation of another world's chaos energy washed over his back. tingled at his skin, thrummed along his own chaos energy like a disorganized harmony losing it's foot and placement. he inhaled, tasting that sensation of chaos energy that he hadn't felt nearby in years⸻

he turned, to face him. knowing without needing look, who it was. stone. & yet, different: older, clearly, a different emotion or perhaps lack thereof clouded his once bright eyes. julius could tell at a glance that this stone had been through quite the life.

& then stone spoke, or began to, "you're not my...." catches himself, redirects, "you are not the man i had hoped to find here."

no contractions. interesting. to denote distance? or were it a sign of silent strength and formality on stone's end? were it anyone else that had said such a thing, the words would have ghosted through julius. he would've barely bat an eye. but, hear those words, coming from that face? with his voice (even if the cadence and grit were different, sharper)? these words SPEARED HIM, felt like his heart was being torn into. at most, julius' lip twitched along the corners. his gaze narrowed behind obscuring sunglasses. but he didn't look away from stone.

he stepped forward. & then he walked forward with purpose and almost hurried nature to his steps. not a word, before he's grabbing stone by the arm and pulling him forward, leaning down and hugging him. his gloved hands are shaking somewhat as his palms press into and his fingers dig into the back of stone's jacket. julius' eyes closed behind those sunglasses, head shifting and lilting inward, towards stone's.

closed starter with @drrobctnik.

how long had it been since he last saw the doctor? he had lost count as the weeks slowly turned to months, and months to years. the last he had seen of the man was the transmission he sent out before choosing to save the earth from its demise.

why had he done that? because of him?

had the doctor just taken him with him to the ark the earth wouldn't have mattered! instead he chose to be a savior at the end of it, and though the transmission was meant to bring closure it did anything but for the sycofriend.

if anything it drove stone mad, and the man soon was toiling away in one of robotnik's hidden lairs. grief stricken and feeling a whirlwind of emotion he works on failed experiments from the man for longer than he could remember. then he got to thinking about the multiverse, and how if it were true then the doctor was still alive. there was a timeline where he lived, and stone was still with him. the thought floored him, and if he could find said timeline he could easily eliminate that stone and take his place, and have the doctor back right where he belonged.

years he spent researching, years he spent studying those stupid rings and seeing if they were capable of multiversal travel. in the end he was right, and as a portal opened up he could see robotnik on the other side. not wasting a moment he quickly steps through, but it was only when the man looked utterly baffled at what just happened that he knew something wasn't right.

he did not look like the doctor, save for them having the same face, no. something was definitely wrong. the realization however happened slowly, as by the time it had struck the portal had closed and the ring outright disappeared. then he focuses his attention back on the man, taking a moment to gather his thoughts before finally speaking.

"you are not my..." he pauses again, feeling a lump form in his throat before he swallows it down and continues. "you are not the man I had hoped to find here."

he was healing, of course, quicker than it'd scar. it'd need extended prolonged contact to do any actual lasting damage. julius is trying and failing to breathe properly, but stone's voice causes him to lift his head, hands still lifted up close to his face but no longer clasping or hiding. "talk to me, please."

how? HOW? he didn't know HOW to⸻ what to say⸻ how to explain⸻ if he should⸻ what if he fucked it all up⸻ what if⸻

"i'm here to listen to you and help." a hand on his shoulder. gaze flicks down to stone's hand. stares. julius focuses. exhales unevenly, focusing on his left hand, that feeling of warmth leaving his palm. his fingers twitch, but he moves to lay his palm overtop of stone's on top of his shoulder, eyes closing. inhales, exhales.

"....i can't lose you," the words are weighted: an ache and a sorrow and yet a guilt and regret and self-anger causing them to sound like even the very air from julius' lungs are burning, "i⸻ i can't, control.... s-sometimes, the energy," he falters, shamed, gaze now on the ground between himself and stone. unable to look at stone. not trusting himself to be able to handle whatever expression stone was making or whatever look stone was lobbing his way.

"it goes, haywire, a-and then my mind," fingers twitch slightly against stone's hand, pressing into his hand a tad more. as though needing to grip tightly to stone and never let go, "i start, having these⸻ thoughts."

stone doesn't flinch when julius suddenly grabs his wrist, though he does briefly knit his eyebrows together as he tries to figure out just why the man had done that. perhaps to ground himself? that was likely it, until...

he felt like his wrist was on fire, and just as quick as he had looked down julius had rescinded his grip and quickly backed away. what was more odd was the fact stone could have sworn he smelt burning flesh, the scent unmistakable to the former agent.

julius was... burning? mumbling to himself as well. stone doesn't move towards him however, simply choosing to remain where he was and just observe the other for a minute or so before finally speaking.

"hey... what's happening? talk to me, please. I'm here to listen to you and help," he says softly as he kneels down in front of him, reaching out a hand to rest on the man's shoulder in an act of comfort.

the silence was strangling. felt like it had a vice grip on his throat, threatening to close up his windpipe. great job being quiet, julius, you stupid piece of shit⸻ say something. SAY SOMETHING, FUCKING TALK⸻

"......i'm," his fingers shift, and he moves to rub a hand along the side of his own neck, not looking at stone as he says this, "i'm sorry you never got to tell ivo," that felt strange to say, "the things you wanted to." he felt jealousy nip in his chest and knew that was irrational and stupid. he barely knew stone after all. & clearly they were both lonely from, everything either of them had gone through. but julius wanted to throw caution to the wind and let himself feel jealous, want stone, want, want⸻ he always wanted but never knew how or if he should sate that wanting. if he had the right to.

what had stone called it? marinating? just marinating, coasting through life, he supposed. doing what he felt he had to. a death without dying.

he exhaled, not sure he had it in him to explain more. there was so much more he felt he wanted to say, it was conflicting. he was scared that if he didn't now, the opportunity might never present itself again. he wondered if that itself was irrational, or maybe stupid, or naive. too emotional, too sensitive. he also couldn't stand the silence. wanted to speak with stone, but didn't know how. was he afraid of judgment? rejection? stone recoiling?

was he scared more, maybe, of stone stepping forward to meet him, and accepting it? what would that mean? to be seen, accepted, wanted not in spite of his ugliness or his horrors or his darkness but because of it.

"...i want," he swallowed, inhaled shortly, exhaled, and finally looked at stone again, "i want to tell you. i do. i just... i don't know how. no one's, ever bothered to ask, before. to want to know," he isn't sure how to express that, so he, he just lays a palm against his own chest. as if to silently say 'to know me', all of him.

stone knew by the silence that seemingly yet again he'd said the wrong thing, and a small part of him was starting to grow irritated at that fact. he tries to do his best to listen and be reassuring but it's perceived as anything but, and he practically has to stop himself from letting out a frustrated sigh at the entire scenario.

he knew very well when to pick and choose his battles, and right now his annoyance was not needed nor welcomed.

so instead of speaking and potentially further souring things between them he just stands there, arms resting loosely over his chest as he watches julius stand up. there really wasn't much in the way of anything that he could say to the man, it seemed.

@blckfckinmsk

[txt:] hey.

[txt:] sorry i don't really text very much

[txt:] lol

a sputtered clipped laugh punches out of him immediately at the echidna's confession about the 'fixed' phone. ah yes, of course. how stupid of julius to think elsewise.

"you do realize you can stop and think before resorting to brute strength, yes?" how hypocritical of julius to say. especially considering whenever he did lose his composure and his calm, julius would be the first to resort to and praise violent or physical methods.

that being said, julius drew the line at trying to 'fix' menial tasks using sheer strength alone. even he wasn't that desperate to resort to such violence. he wasn't some mindless barbarian.

"i know you are not that daft, echidna. what is the real reason you want to constantly 'fix' things using only your fists alone? what is it, some nonsense about fear of not being acceptable enough or worthy enough if you're not the strongest of the bunch?"

"My actions speak for themselves." What they say is a series of clunking hisses from where he's punched through a steam pipe in order to 'fix' a leak.

he's wordlessly staring at the destroyed pipe. eyebrows pinch together and his gaze narrowed behind sunglasses. seems to be weighing his options on whether he wants to deal with whatever moronic conversation will stem from this.

a heavy weighted sigh that bleeds into his words, sounding deadpanned and tired, "do i want to know what the fuck inspired you to try and fix this instead of calling an actual service."

⸻a snort of chuckle breaths through julius' lips at the other's response. he gives a slightly tight smile in silent response but doesn't comment elsewise. then he's being asked how he travelled here, "chaos energy. i've decided to take a little," he rolls his wrist, considering, "me time. do some travelling." & what better way to avoid the cacophony of shit that was his own universe, than jumping ship for a little while?

"I am bald, correct! would you like a gold star for stating the blatantly obvious, other me?" ivo grins, but his eyes narrowed soon after despite himself. "how did you get here? multiversal travel, I suspect?"

how rude. he stares across at her, but doesn't have it in him to be snide. much as her comment stings. julius never could be mean, not to her. least of all because of what she represented, in his mind. "i'll take that as a compliment," & with an overexaggerated flourish of his left hand, julius bows, smirking somewhat.

"it seems like no matter the name he goes by- my cousin is always odd."

at the question, a laugh bubbles out of him, the sound equal parts disbelief that stone is genuinely asking, and maybe some shock that someone wants to hear. mostly, a sort of bitterness, at everything and everyone else⸻

"....h," voice catches, stuttered breaths, gasped exhale. feeling that squeezing on his shoulder, julius grips at stone's hand so tightly. & yet it's conscious enough at least to ensure he isn't hurting stone while doing so. if julius weren't careful he was more than capable of shattering stone's hand without much thought. "horrible thoughts, or at least i've been told they're horrible. directly, indirectly."

his fingers twitch but still upon feeling stone's skin on the top of his hand. his gaze is darting along the ground as he tries to piece together what it is he wants to say, how to say it. whether or not it'll make sense. whether or not he means it. whether he should. can he?

finally, julius glances upward, meeting stone's face. he pauses, gaze locked with stone's. though that self-conscious, anxiety spiked pit of himself wanted to look away, afraid, he didn't. wouldn't. h-he had to, face this, even if it meant being vulnerable. only with stone,

"i wanted, to give you everything. i thought you deserved a throne. if you'd wanted to kill everyone, then i'd help you with that. not because i get any real joy out of it ⸻ well, maybe a little ⸻ but it'd mostly be by proxy of you. knowing that's what you wanted. ....so long as you're, fulfilled, then i'd be content just to be there."

he trails off, gaze dropping again.

there's more, of course there is. that barely scratches the surface, and julius isn't even certain that he's explained that properly. he's never trusted his own words. he could barely make sense of his own emotions mentally, how was he supposed to vocalize his wants and desires in a way that anyone else would understand, or listen to, let alone ever accept or view as 'healthy' or 'good'?

whatever brief smile stone had on his face was wiped away instantly when he heard what julius said, which caused stone's blood to run cold. 'I can't lose you', words that paralleled the ones he had said to ivo in desperate attempt to get him to stop what he and his grandfather had planned. he clears his throat at that as he buries the memory, planning to revisit it at another point in time.

at least he seemed to have an idea on what happened to this robotnik's stone...

he listens to him, his grip on julius' shoulder never faltering. if anything, he gives it a gentle squeeze, a silent affirmation that stone would not judge him for anything he was saying or would say.

"what thoughts do you have?" he asks, voice soft as he waits for julius to answer.

that frown doesn't leave him, head lilting to the side just a fraction. "and you're bald, how quaint." his arms cross, an eyebrow jutting upwards as his other demands to know who he is. a fit of laughter threatens him, but julius quells that urge. for now. "i'm you. well, an alternate version of you. we've led different lives, no doubt." am i going to go bald? he certainly HOPED not. & there was no chance in hell julius would ever grow such a horrendous looking moustache.

@drrobctnik (julius) sent : he stares, then frowns, a low scoff leaves him, "why on earth do you have that god forsaken moustache." what a lovely way to greet your alternate self, julius. insults.

"you mean my utterly handsome moustache?" ivo replies as he twists the ends of said moustache to further emphasize the word, then tilts his head as he observes the man before him. "who the hell are you?"