I Just Remembered That David Is My Pfp. I Completely Forgot So Now Everytime I Manage To See It, I Start

I walked into the living room and went “AZIRAPHALE!!!!!!!”

james: what happens if i press the brakes and the gas at the same time?

carlos: the car takes a screenshot.

logan: for the last time, get the fuck out.

Trying

head not empty, many abstract uncommunicatable thoughts

I don’t understand how it’s so funny but it is.😂

Stephen: I can’t believe you forgot your phone.

Tony: Yeah. I hope Peter liked the shirt I got him yesterday. Oh, he called.

Friday: You have 17 new messages.

Tony: What?!

Friday: Message 1.

Peter: Hey Mr. Stark, thanks for the Bazinga t-shirt it's… great. I was just calling because I might need a ride later tonight. Ned can’t drive and I ran Shuri's car into that ditch after we watched Fast Five on Netflix together.

Shuri: You still owe me for that.

Peter: Yeah, yeah, I know, I know. Cars are really flammable, did you know that? I didn’t know that. Well, I do now.. but anyway I’ll call you later if we need a pick up from the show, alright?

Ned: [Snoring]

Peter: Ned, you’re up! Talk to you later, Mr. Stark!

Friday: End of Message.

Tony: I’m not listening to all of these.

[skips to the last message]

Friday: Message 17.

Peter: Oh my god, is he dead?! Why did you put him in the car?!

MJ: It’s Flash, you idiot! Just shut up and keep driving to the hospital!

Shuri: Peter, when are we getting to Chuck E Cheese?

Peter: Shuri, shut up! Mr. Stark, please pick up the phone! We are in so much trouble! The show went south, so we decided to make our own, but… Oh man, oh man, pick up your stupid phone! Mr. Stark, go to my desk, open the dark drawer and burn everything inside! But hold your breath while you do it! Use that stupid t-shirt you got me to help the fire, you gotta do this, Mr. Stark!

MJ: Peter, eyes on the road!

Ned: TRUCK!

All: [Screaming]

Friday: End of message.

Tony and Stephen: [stare at the phone in horror]

everyone living in EU - please support the citizens initiative for safe and accessible abortion!!

Happy Pride!

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I had a weird dream last night.

Basically, I took the place of everyone who got sacrificed (in Endgame) and was still alive.

It was actually pretty fun.

Friend: Where do you think they keep actors while they’re shooting stuff?

Me: I don’t know. Maybe suspended animation.

Friend: omg! That explains Paul Rudd.

Me desperately trying not to laugh: yeah totally