Hello! I Need Medication For Life To Prevent My Lungs From Collapsing, This Implies Permanent Treatment

This is literally my favourite thing erve

M.LIST. ✦　 𓈒 ❛ pixels [ newt x reader - modern text au ]

summary: in which two online friends navigate a romance through a minecraft groupchat with their stupid friends

OR

newt, the quiet, stoic boy, and y/n, the bubbly girl both curse the world for keeping them apart, but at least they can send each other cute emojis and hope the other doesn’t notice their blossoming feelings.

→ warnings ! : crude language, sexual language, sexual situations (eventually), bad memes, mention of suic1de

☆ CHAPTERS !

➥ # . ch. 1 - the gc birth

➥ # . ch. 2 - drama queen core

➥ # . ch. 3 - infamous minecraft night

➥ # . ch. 4 - agoraphobia and burger king on 5th street

I miss them

Just a little experiment, but reblog if you love the League of Villains and dislike the bnha ending.

How about myself

I am feeling things 🧍‍♂️🧍‍♂️

Mistletoe | R.Lupin x reader

| harrypotter x aunt!reader | remuslupin x fem!reader | golden trio era |

Synopsis: after the death of your brother, you take in your nephew as your own, shutting everyone else out in your grief. However, once you’re reunited with an old friend in Harry’s third year, old feelings start to come to the surface as you help each other through your grief.

WARNINGS: mentions of dea!h, mentions of grief. (In this story, let’s say Voldemorts curse bounced off Harry and killed moldy voldy for good, Harry has a normal childhood)

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“Thank you, for standing with me.” You say, watching as the train leaves the station for the fourth time since your nephew had been accepted into Hogwarts. “It’s always so hard watching him go.”

“It’s no problem at all, you know that.” Remus told you, placing a tentative hand on your arm as you play with your hands worriedly.

It was the same overwhelming anxiety year after year, watching the only family you have left, the only part of James you have left, slip further and further away into the distance.

You and your brother were inseparable, known quite rarely as James and y/n, but more commonly as the Potter Twins. It was a rare occurrence to see one of you without the other, especially at school.

You weren’t with him when he died. No, you were in your own house, washing dishes by hand, because you were to bored to do it by magic. You weren’t with him, but you felt it. Like a knife through the chest, you felt the part of your soul that belonged to him fracture into a million pieces. Your heart that matched his break and turn cold as the glass you held fell to the floor.

You knew part of yourself had died, but not which part.

Not until you reached the Potter’s house.

Not until you found yourself screaming until your throat was raw, begging your brother to wake up.

When you finally heard the crying of a baby over your own sobs, you knew you had to take him before Dumbledore got his hands on him, taking him away from you forever.

“Hello, little one, Auntie y/n’s going to keep you safe.” You whispered, your voice only a fracture of what it used to be.

You tried not to look towards the lifeless form of what used to be one of your greatest friends.

You raised Harry as if he was your own, teaching him everyday about the parents he lost, because you would be damned if James Potter would ever be forgotten.

“I know it’s not, but still, thank you.” You tell him, before turning your head to look into his kind eyes. “You can come over, if you like? Despite what Harry might have told you, I’m a good cook.”

“That would be nice.” Remus chucked, wrapping an arm around your shoulder.

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Sitting with Remus at your kitchen table, you started to realise just how much you had missed him.

“I let him keep the map, last year.” He told you, a small grin tugging at his lips as he sipped his tea.

“Remus Lupin, despite the years that have passed you still have some mischief in you.” You tease, sipping your own coffee.

“Well, once a marauder, always a marauder. Isn’t that what we all used to say?” He retorted, and you genuinely smile.

A rare sighting since the passing of your brother, a sight only Harry has known.

You reach over and take his calloused hand in yours, brushing your thumb over a scar that lay there.

“I’m so sorry that I pushed you away, I never meant-“

“No, no, none of that. I won’t have you apologising for the way you chose to grieve. You lost your brother, and took on the responsibility of raising his child all in a matter of hours. I wasn’t what you needed then, and I understood that completely.”

That’s something about Remus that you had always loved. No matter how wronged he was, he had always found it within himself to understand. No matter how much somebody hurt him, his empathy would always shine through.

“What about what you needed? You lost everybody, and I shut you out.” You said, your confession leaves with shame and regret. He held your hand tighter.

“What I needed was to know that you and Harry were safe. And I knew that. I managed my grief in my own ways, but I managed nonetheless.”

Something else about Remus that you loved, was the way he held eye contact when he spoke. As if people would stop hearing him if he looked away. His eyes held onto yours now, sending secret messages of reassurance that he can’t speak with words.

He smiled, picking up his tea once more to take a sip. You wondered if he had had somebody to hold all this time, if somebody had been there to hold his hand as his world fell apart around him.

As you look at him, you remember the small school crush you used to have on him while at Hogwarts. The way you used to purposely sit next to him in the great hall so he’d have to lean down to talk to you, since he was so tall.

“You know, I’m pretty sure I had a bit of a crush on you in school.” You say, smiling down at you drink. He scoffs in amusement.

“Me? Why on earth would you have a crush on me?” He said, as if the idea was absolutely preposterous.

“Because you were always so kind. No matter how angry you were, you never spoke to me with anything other than kindness. And you’re tall, Godric knows that makes any girl fold,” you laugh. “And I thought you were pretty.”

“Pretty?” He looks scared to ask, as if the answer would somehow sting.

“Yeah, I’ve always thought your beauty was more soft than other boys,” you look into his eyes, seeing the same boy you loved in your school years. “The other girls would always tell me how gorgeous Sirius was, and he was, but I was always too busy staring at you to notice.”

Maybe it was the fact that you finally had a soul your own age to talk to. Or maybe it was the familiarity of talking to an old friend, someone you once spent every waking moment with. But you told him everything, about how lonely you’ve been, about how awful you feel about hating Harry’s similarities to James, about how much you love Harry and how it hurts to not be by his side at all times.

You tell him everything.

And he listens to every word.

〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️

Remus came over almost everyday until Harry was due to come home for Christmas.

He laughed with you, held you while you cried, and grieved with you. The way the two of you should have done all those years ago.

It felt as if the twelve years you were eleven years you were apart never happened.

“Auntie y/n! Over here!” Your nephew called, carrying his case for the holidays with him.

“Harry! Oh, I’ve missed you!” You say, placing your hands on his cheeks and kissing the crown of his head.

“It’s only been a couple of months.” He says, smiling at your antics,

“I know, I know, but you know I have no one to fret over while you’re away.”

Harry hugs you, the kind of hug he knows you need once you see him again.

Harry knows his Aunt struggles to be away from him, he also knows that she thinks he doesn’t know. But since a young age Harry has noticed the way he Aunt always hugs him tighter in the mornings, as if being away in her dreams was far too long, and how she always holds his hand while out and about, and how she sends weekly letter just to check he’s doing alright.

And he replies to every single one, because while others would see it as suffocating, Harry feels nothing to affection and gratitude towards his aunt, because he may be all she had, but she’s all he has in return. And if a letter a week soothes her mind, he has no quarrels in doing that.

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Harry was beyond happy that Remus would be spending Christmas with them. To him, Remus was an extension of his Father, one more person he could ask to tell him stories and memories of the man he never truly met.

You would always tell him anything he wanted to know, but deep down you knew that he knew it pained you. And so he doesn’t ask much of you, but you wish he did.

“Did he get into trouble at school? My dad?” He asked at the dinner table, casting looks toward Remus and you.

You let a laugh slip past your lips, and you hold your hand to your mouth.

“Harry, your father invented trouble.” Remus told him, smiling fondly at the memories.

“Oh, come one. You talk as if you weren’t a step behind him at all times! More often than not, if my brother was in trouble, so were we!” You laughed, for the first time remembering your brother with joy rather than grief.

“And you talk as if you weren’t the mastermind behind most of that mischief.” He says, casting you a look of teasing and humour.

You gasp in faux shock, clasping your chest and looking towards your nephew.

“Absolutely false, Harry. I was no trouble in school.”

Harry laughed then, “Professor McGonagall says otherwise.”

You stop and snap your attention to your Nephew as Remus laughs, no longer able to eat.

“What?” You say, a little panicked, mostly laughing.

Harry watches as his Aunt and who he now sees as an Uncle playfully bicker and argue about who was more trouble to who, and wonders when they’ll realise just how in love they are.

〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️

You’re clearing the table after Christmas dinner, stacking plates into piles and wrapping left overs in foil. Harry had retreated to his room to tend to his new quidditch set before the traditional Christmas movie night before bed, and y/n took it as a great opportunity to clear up.

A hand touched the small of her back, moving her slightly to the left as he squeezed by, taking the plates from her hands.

“You don’t need to do that, I’ve got it.” He says softly, sending her a small wink before carrying them over to the sink.

“Let me do something then, because you did most of the cooking and now you won’t let me clean.” You complained, not a single trace of discontent in your voice.

He turns to you, humour in his eyes but a frown on his lips.

“And what if I want to do all of this, then what?”

“Then you’ll just have to deal with me helping.” You say, stepping closer. You’re standing in front of him now, holding a cup full of cutlery in one hand and a plate of leftovers in the other. “Mr Lupin, I believe you’re blocking my way to the fridge.”

“Oh am I? Thats a shame, I guess I’ll have to take these off your hands then.” He says, taking the plate and cutlery and placing them on the side.

You’re about to argue when he turns back to you, much closer than before. “Let me help you.”

“You’ve done more than enough.” You say in a small voice.

“And what if I want to do more?” His hand reaches up and places a strand of your dark hair behind your ear, but his hand doesn’t fall, it stays put against your cheek.

You look up to see a branch of mistletoe growing from your ceiling, right between the two of you.

His eyes never leave your face, more accurately your lips as your breathing gets heavier.

“Can I kiss you?” He asks, his voice so small you barely hear it. All you can do is nod as his other hand is placed ever so gently on your waist, pulling you in.

He places his lips on yours, and it’s the most gentle kiss, but you feel the weight of a thousand words that have never been said behind it, pushing him closer.

To Remus’ surprise, it was you who intensified the kiss, placing a hand behind his head and pushing further into him. When you broke apart to breathe, he placed his forehead onto yours and closed his eyes.

“I think I’ve loved you for a while now, Miss Potter.”

“I’ve loved you always, Mr Lupin.”

What neither of the two seemed to notice, was their nephew sitting at the top of his stairs tucking his wand back into his pocket, closing the book about growing magical plants with spells.

I adore this so much :c

Hey, I hope you’re having a good day! I had an idea, Marvel cast flirting with y/n for x minutes?

. . MARVEL CAST FLIRTING WITH Y/N Y/L/N FOR 10 MINUTES STRAIGHT!

Coming home from an extremely long and stressful day/week was unfortunately something very familiar to you—so familiar that you and your best friend (your not famous best friend who was your pilar through all the chaos fame brought) had created a little routine; she’d send you various videos and links to movies and online books she knew would relax and amuse you.

So, cuddled up in your bed with your pyjamas and your star lights on (a true child at heart, always) you opened up your chats with them and eagerly swiped to see that they’d sent.

‘Marvel Cast Flirting with Y/N Y/L/N For 10 Minutes Straight!’ was the video for tonight.

Immediately you cackled to yourself, hurriedly sending your best friend thanks in the form of ironic emojis and frantic proclamations of undying love, before loading up the (true to prior word) ten minute long video.

Surely this was an exaggeration.

The video began, large letters in a cute font appearing on the dark screen ‘the marvel cast all being in love flirting with y/n for ten minutes’. The quick ‘AS THEY SHOULD’ before the clips started playing made you giggle to yourself.

The first clip was from some years back, you were pretty sure this was a premiere for The Avengers, given how you looked and the quality—you were standing opposite on interview, smile on your face and dressed in a pretty outfit the same colour of your character’s aesthetic.

“How do you feel about your costume?”

Before you could even answer the interviews question, Scarlett intercepted your interview—hair in a short red bob and a smirking grin at her lips as she wrapped an arm around your waist.

“Well I know how we all feel about this ladies costume, it’s a beautiful piece that just makes the women wearing all the more beautiful. If that’s even possible.”

The edit quickly gave Scarlett beating heart eyes for you as she didn’t tear her eyes away from you for a second—making present time you laugh.

With that she kissed your cheek, leaving a red mark of her lipstick and walked away, dramatically winking in your direction.

The second clip was a blooper, from .. Captain America: Civil War, you thought. You were on Sebastian’s shoulders, thighs locked over his head—in character, as your character and his were mid fight.

He stumbled back over a table accidentally and you let out a startled yelp, hands flying to steady yourself in his long hair and one of his landing on your arse cheek to steady you as he steadied himself with the other.

“Is it bad that I’m loving this?”

“SEBA—“

“Cut!”

The third clip was you and Lizzie (Elizabeth Olsen) reacting fan tweets; Lizzie unrolled the piece of paper, her eyes lighting up as she giggled with a little smirk.

“Elizabeth. .” You wearily trailed off, looking at your friend.

“Sorry, sorry. Okay! This tweet says if i could just pretty BEEP please with the juiciest most mouthwatering cherry on top get a not kid friendly scene of Wanda and (Your Character) I could die peacefully, my wish fulfilled. I implore you marvel, listen to your dying fan.”

“That tweet had over fifty thousand likes as well.” A feminine voice added in from behind the camera, laughter in her tone.

You and Lizzie turned to each other at the same time, grinning.

“I mean the fan is dying babe. .”

“Right? We should totally make this happen, like, totally.” She gave you a cheeky once over, eyes appreciating all of you. “Because it was the fans wish, not mine, duh.” Lizzie added.

“Mhm.” You hummed with a smirk.

The fourth clip was a evidently some sort of ‘guess the body part’ game: a photo of what you were pretty sure was your bottom half was the picture currently used for guessing, in the picture you were leaned over in a pair of yoga pants and in your personal opinion, you looked good. Well, your arse looked good (amazing, otherworldly—you humbly added)

Lizzie was the first person to answer, the video showing each persons turn one by one and immediately she said, “that’s my girl. Y/N.” Then giggling she added, “now get my girls booty off the screen, I don’t need you all ogling her. We get enough of that, sometimes causes a strain on us. But we’ve remained strong together.”

Paul Rudd was next and he stared at the picture of you for a few solid seconds, “it’s Y/N.” He sheepishly admitted. He pointed an accusing finger dramatically towards the camera—“I only know this because of all the edits you guys make!”

“You don’t have to watch them.” The interviewer pointed out innocently; Paul pouted, grumbling.

Next was Anthony who instantly answered, “That’s Y/N right here!” He hyped you up, grinning. “Don’t even try and make it creepy, we do glutes together man, it’s why we’re the best asses in the cast. Up top!” Anthony exclaimed, holding his hand up towards the picture as if pretending to high five you or something—the interviewer timidly gave him a high five.

Sebastian was next as you (and everyone) watch his eyes flicker and grin that was more of a smirk spread across his cheeks, “that’s definitely y/n.” He assumed instantly. “Would’ve been able to tell you that blindfolded.”

“But—“

“I’d have just sensed her.” Sebastian giggled.

Chris Evans was next—a grin picked up on his face immediately, eyes trained on the photo of you and he ran a hand over his beard, lightly biting his lip (HEELLLOOO????)

“That’s Y/n.” Chris stated confidently, smirking lightly and the camera caught some of the team in line of sight exchange raised eyebrows.

The fifth clip was of Brie Larson who was being interviewed on some sort of premiere event again—presumably or her (marvellous) movie, Captain Marvel, smiling at the interviewer.

“Out of all of the people on the Marvel Cast, those who you’ve met, do you have a favourite out of them?” The interview questioned.

“I’m not really one for favourites but I would definitely say I’m closest to Y/n! She’s—she’s just so lovely and funny and she’s like a ray of sunshine, honestly. She’s been a great help in the filming process as well, she coached me through everything with so patience—I would’ve strangled me if I was her, but no, she just had that adorable smile on her face. She’s truly an amazing person and a better friend than I thought possible.” Brie answered enthusiastically with a soft smile.

“Awwww! We love to hear that—are any of the rumours about her true?”

Brie blinked, seeming taken aback for a brief moment— “Yes she does smell amazing, she’s always effortlessly beautiful, she’s unfailingly hilarious and yes no one in this world deserves her. But like. . if she’s open to it,” Brie paused, winking at the camera and making a call me sign with her hands and mouthing the words with a flirty grin.

The sixth clip was of you, Tom Holland, RDJ, Paul Bettany, Zoe Saldana and Pom Klementieff on Jimmy Kimmel, tasked with drawing your characters. The clip started just as you turned around the drawing of your character and well, it was actually surprisingly good in your own opinion—the audience immediately erupted into loud and obnoxious cheers.

“As great as that is, love, it still doenst capture the extent of your beauty.” Tom Holland, who was sat to your left, grinned cheekily at you and the audience practically shouted and hooted.

“Would anything ever?” Zoe shot back from your right side, twirling a lock of your hair affectionately and smiling as she leaned against you.

“I sincerely doubt that anything could.” RDJ piped up, giving you an unapologetic grin when you looked over at him with fond exasperation as the crowd was practically inconsolable in their glee and enthusiasm, shouting out your praises. “Give it up for sunshine, people. Our gorgeous ray of sunshine!”

“I—“

“They are quite right, Y/n.” Paul Bettany spoke over Jimmy who was obviously going to try and calm down his crowd.

The seventh clip started playing: it was a clip taken from Jacob Batalon’s story, clearly in a party setting—the video showed you and Zendaya in the centre of the dance floor, everyone around you clearly watching you both as you danced up against each other to the sounds of Yeah! by Usher.

“Mate I think your girls about to be stole.” The voice of Tom’s friend, Harrison, sounded from beside Jacob and presumably Tom himself and to empathise Harrison’s words, Jacob zoomed in on your faces, wide grins of ecstasy, and the way Zendaya was admiring you.

“Right in public as well, the scandal.” Jacob cackled.

The eighth clip was an interview of Chris Evans and McKenna Grace (you adored that little girl to pieces). The two of them were answering the ‘Webs Most Searched Question’s’ together.

“Who was.. Chris Evans, date at the Oscars?”

McKenna immediately ooed, smiling teasingly and Chris laughed from beside her.

“This is getting juicy!”

“Well, it was my mom one year and then my sister last year—“

“He wishes it was Y/n though.” The little girl laughed with a beaming smile on her lips and you, present time, arched a brow.

Chris bashfully chuckled with a smile and you swore you could see a genuine red hue on his cheeks, “I mean—it’s Y/n. Anyone would be happy to go with her.”

“I would be!” McKenna excitedly exclaimed as she grinned so sweetly you were now going to make sure you took this sweet child with you to the Oscar’s, Chris seemed to melt as well, recovering from his brief flustered moment.

The ninth clip was Sebastian and Anthony reading out their thirst tweets in a Buzzfeed interview, the clip started as Sebastian was pulling out a tweet from the large bucket.

He read it to himself and blushed faintly, Anthony’s eyebrows practically reaching his forehead as he tried to lean over and read it but Sebastian jokingly shoved him back.

“Oh for—That scene where (Your Character) chokes baby Bucky out with her thighs, his—his head all up in there; the shit I would give to be her, I would give my soul, my fridge, my moms purse, my dads golf clubs. Please, sir. Put your face between my legs like you did Y/n.”

By the end of the tweet, Sebastian had a deeply awkward and slightly perturbed look on his face and Anthony cackled at his side.

“Nah, I’m pretty sure he was more than happy with it being Y/n, wouldn’t change it even for your dads golf clubs.” Anthony laughed.

“That’s. . I’m gonna have to decline that, um, respectfully.” Sebastian spoke in regards to the tweet, ignoring Anthony.

In turn, Anthony ignored Sebastian as well and just dramatically kept winking at the camera.

The tenth clip was Cobie Smulders, who was being interviewed on some sort of carpet event, smile on her face as she spoke to the interviewer before her.

“How does it feel knowing that the lesbian community, myself included, are firmly rooting for your character, Maria and Y/N’s character (Your Character) to end up together?”

Cobie’s smile turned genuinely delighted, “I love it—we love it. Y/n and I actually have made so many PowerPoints and presented them to the Russo brothers, but alas. I do really want to end up with her—oops, sorry, wait. I really want my character to end with hers. . would be the appropriate wording. But I’m all for inappropriate if Y/n wants.”

Cobie jokingly bit her lip at the camera and you, watching the video, could not contain your laughter as the interviewer practically burst out with excitement.

The eleventh clip was a blooper from your filming of the avengers—you were standing next to Chris Hemsworth who had an arm around your waist, holding you to him as in the scene his character, Thor, flies the both of you away. But Chris quickly tugged you in front of him and began tickling you mercilessly, hysterical giggles falling from your lips as the people around you laughed as well.

“Chris, HAVE MERCY!”

“Aw, but I enjoy hearing your laughter. It’s a very pretty sound.” Chris laughed to himself, finally stopping his attack and letting you slump against his, back to his front. “I particularly like this as well.” He smirked down at you.

“CHRI—“

In the twelfth clip, you and Tessa Thompson were reading out thirst tweets together: “The feminine urge to fall asleep cuddled into Y/n’s boobs is too real, pls come here mommy.” You read out, giggling all the while.

“The urge is so strong.” Tess commented, nodding her add as she sneakily glanced at your chest with a innocent smile.

“Come here, baby.” You joked, laughing as you opened your arms for her and she practically leaped into them, resting her head on your chest.

“I’m living the dreams of millions right now and it feels amazing.” Tessa gloated jokingly, pulling away from you with only final squeeze and a little wink the camera caught.

“I concur.” You grinned back.

The thirteenth clip was you and Tom Hiddleston, talking with an interviewer on a carpet event. His arm was around your waist and both of you were wearing smiles greeting the interviewer.

“So, obviously, you both act in marvel movies, but not really close together! If you could, would you want to work more closely and have you characters be more involved?”

“I absolutely would.” Tom immediately replied with an honest, heartwarming smile. “And personally, it’s not even a fact of our characters being intertwined it’s more that working this fantastic woman beside me is a gift I have come to deeply cherish, truly it’s an honour. And I suppose, if our characters were to get involved, so to speak, that I would enjoy that because this is the y/n y/l/n, I’d be a mad man not to want that.” He finished charmingly.

You grinned, taking a bow, and both Tom and the interviewer laughed before that clip cut as well.

The fourteenth clip was at Comic-Con, mostly everyone on the cast had already been called out and taken their seats and then your name was called, the audience erupting into loud cheers.

Sebastian, who was sat next to your assigned seat, hopped and and jogged over to offer you his arm as you grinned and waved at everyone—the crowd screaming louder at his actions.

The screams only increased as Chris Evans and Don Cheadle got up to pull out your chair for you to sit down in—you pretended to swoon into Sebastian before kissing all of their cheeks and taking your seat.

“Where was the treatment for me?” RDJ joked.

“Man, they’re just whipped. But, like, who isn’t for Y/n?” Anthony stage whispered back to him and the crowd literally roared in excitement.

The fifteenth clip was Aaron Taylor-Johnson being interviewed with Lizzie for the Age of Ultron press, most probably.

“So, Aaron, obviously your character—spoilers, sorry—isn’t with us anymore but if you had the chance to explore Pietro more, who would you have wanted to explore a romance with?”

“(Your Character) definitely, Y/N.” Aaron answered with a little sheepish grin at the speed and Lizzie giggled into her palm.

“I’m not making fun, I agree, for myself.” Lizzie commented unprompted.

“Why is that?” The interviewer questioned.

“Why—mate, I think it’s pretty obvious. Y/n is such a stunning person, inside and out, I would have loved to—and obviously her character is extremely sick and I’m certain the relationship between her and Pietro would’ve been the stuff of legends but. . come on, Y/n Y/l/n is my real reason.” Aaron joked.

“Get your own girl, she’s mine.” Lizzie glared.

There were still many minutes left of the video left and that alone astounded you; overcome with cackles, you forwarded the video the your Marvel groupchat—so yall bitches like obsessed with me or sum 🥰🥰🥰

Free Palestine

A small part of my story

Under the title

A month equals a year and a year equals a whole lifetime..

Every time I remember that moment, my heart almost jumps out of my body.

I don't know... am I happy or sad?!

When I found out for the first time after waiting for nine years that I was carrying a fetus in my womb, I couldn't believe it!

It was something like a dream that couldn't be comprehended!

We hugged and cried together, my lover and I, with joy, alone in a city completely devoid of people.

I didn't mean anything like romance... no!

Just us and danger, or rather under the name "us and death".

You will know later what I mean by this.

I will complete my story for you...

Nine years ago, I never got pregnant, can you imagine?!!

Yes, for the first time, a hug accompanied by crying and tears of joy...

It happened in the war!

Yes, it happened in the war!

Oh my God!

In difficult times, and almost impossible life.

We were not even ready to have children after about half a year or a little more of the war,

and we no longer wanted to think about it at all, especially with the horror of what we had experienced in the recent events of our lives.

We had completely forgotten about this subject.

Although this was our plan recently, but before the Holocaust (the "cruel war" that was unlike any war we had experienced before),

we went together constantly to see the doctor, and did everything we could to be blessed with a child.

We prayed a lot, and we paid a lot of expenses in order to give birth to this little one who was stubborn and refused to come to this dangerous and strange world.

It makes us both smile.

It is really amazing!

We also thought and made a decision recently to undergo an IVF procedure, but circumstances worsened and we did not complete the treatment stage.

God did not want us to complete the treatment journey and undergo the injection procedure.

Yes, but He wanted the pregnancy to happen suddenly without operations, without treatment, without prior planning, and without even thinking about the whole thing!!

Oh, His wisdom and power.

It's like a sign from God to compensate us with such great joy in the midst of this pain we are living because of this deadly war that has taken away everything we own...

Even security was stolen from our hearts.

One day, specifically on the fourth of Ramadan, we decided to return home for several reasons.

The army was present in our area when it invaded the city of Khan Yunis, as the tanks were stationed right near our house at the time,

specifically the Qarara area ("Kissufim").

You will wonder, dear reader: Why did you return home?

When you finish reading, you will know all the answers.

Excuse me, this is the first time I am writing.

I am not a writer, and I can make mistakes while telling my story, so read, dear, and think carefully, and you will see all the answers in front of you...

We were exposed to death at any moment.

Even every night we would prepare a first aid kit containing some gauze, disinfectants, iodine, painkillers, and the like.

We were afraid of the coming of night. Night was not only pitch darkness, but a terror unlike any other!

The city was closer to what is called a "ghost town".

I cannot describe to you how much the night scared me, even though I was one of those who loved the night, staying up late, and watching the stars and the moon.

We were very afraid when darkness fell, as if it was a symphony of shelling about to begin, for this was a mentally ill occupier who never stopped hitting the stones and trees, as he enjoyed taking the soul from people.

Every day we would listen to the bursts of bullets hitting the walls of the house, and the shells that I remember did not stop throughout the nights.

When I heard the sound of the shells exploding, I was counting...

Almost every nine seconds there was a shell exploding!

That's really what happened with this crazy occupier!!

I told you it was a symphony, as if he was having fun while bombing our city!!

But do you know what scared me the most..?

What is known as the "drone", this alone is enough to shock me whenever I see it close to the ground or hear its sound.

We used to always hear explosions accompanied by the sounds of bursts of rubble shattering from neighboring houses, when they were repeatedly and directly bombed.

The sound of the shell whistls enough… Oh, how scary it was!

You feel and say: Where… Where will it explode? Where?!

Will it be with us or not?

Will we both die now, I wonder!!!

Yes, it is extremely painful, and you cannot imagine it no matter how much I describe it to you.

Believe me… It is something like madness!

This is the first time I am writing these details!!!

The question still haunts you and revolves in your mind: What forces you to stay at home despite all this danger?!

Yes, now I will answer you…

I was forced to stay with my husband because he refused to leave the damned house! Yes, I used to call it damned, and it is my home that I have always loved and dreamed of.

But after the exhaustion we have experienced due to displacement… Oh, displacement and its suffering!

We were displaced several times:

First from Al-Qarara, then to Al-Aqsa University in Khan Younis, from the university to Rafah, from Rafah to Dair al-Balah, then to the sea of ​​Dair al-Balah, and then what next!? Isn't all this displacement enough!!!

As if it were a farce...

We are fed up!

It was really devastating, we couldn’t describe it, and you can’t imagine it either.

That’s why my husband decided to return, even though the house had been shelled with a number of shells, and the army had not yet withdrawn from the area…

We both walked on foot back from Dair al-Balah,

via shortcuts other than the main road (“Salah al-Din Street”),

away from the sniper’s sight; because it was a prohibited combat zone.

We returned from the back of the house called “Al-Matahin”, near the “Al-Berka” road that leads to Dair al-Balah.

The road was a little safer.

I tried all the way over and over with my husband, trying to convince him not to return… Even my family tried a lot, and everyone warned us.

All of them, we know very well what we are getting into.

Indeed, it was a matter of two options with no alternative: "life or death"!

Even after we arrived home and witnessed the fear during this trip, and because of the very close bombing and the spread of drones, I insisted a lot that we leave and leave him immediately,

but to no avail... He did not listen to me.

He used to say to me: "I will get you out of here, but I will come back and stay here."

And of course I refused every time...

I will die with him, and I will not leave him alone and abandon him!

He is my partner, my support, and the love of my heart.

Here I gave up trying to convince him, and surrendered to what was coming... As I told you: "life or death."

I have never experienced such fear in my life before!

I felt my intestines tearing every night from the severity of the pain, and I discovered that when I am exposed to extreme fear, I suffer from severe abdominal cramps.

I almost tremble with fear when I hear the sound of a tank approaching the house, or when I hear the footsteps of the infantry soldiers.

Can you imagine where we used to sleep and spend the darkest of miserable nights?

Under the bed.

For a whole month we slept under the bed!

To avoid stray bullets and flying shrapnel as much as possible.

I was almost dying… I couldn’t breathe normally, and I would suffocate a lot whenever danger approached us.

As usual, my husband was stubborn and always tried to calm me down.

I know he was scared too, but he didn’t show me that,

and didn’t make me feel his fear;

To strengthen me, protect me and make me feel safe.

Although we witnessed another difficult situation during our last displacement… Whenever the army withdrew, we would return home,

But it deceived us time after time, and stormed again and again.

That time it was also very difficult, as the shells were hitting the "Al-Matahin" building right next to us, exploding before our eyes.

I could hear the whizzing of bullets next to my ear,

and see the bullets between our feet as we ran, hitting the sand and moving it!

A strange feeling came over me at that moment,

As if I were in a movie!

Is this real, what is all this brutality, what is all this violence, why all this killing, why all this killing, why am I here, why is my life like this,

I was lost in a sea of ​​many, many endless questions.

To the point that I was imagining and wondering: Have I been shot and haven't felt the pain of the bullet yet?

Did the bullet hit my lover?!

Questions ran through my head that had no answers, and no acceptable explanation,

But the most important question is, am I still alive???

Yes... We miraculously survived this time, my friend, but let's consider that I am like someone killed without a fight!

During that period, during the month we spent in a state of almost permanent shock,

One night, we received a phone call.

It was our kind and gentle neighbor, we did not know she was in the city, one of her relatives had told her we were there, and she called to check up on us and ask for help.

That woman was an elderly woman in a wheelchair and her daughter was with her who was taking care of her, they lived alone together in their house, and they had not left after the evacuation order due to her illness and inability to move.

Her house was a little far from us...

Almost the same area, but on the other street.

We were always in touch by phone, and checking up on each other.

Every morning my husband would go out for this poor old woman, he would go and risk his life to deliver some basic necessities to them, such as food and drinking water; they had no one, and no one to help... Even the Red Cross had difficulty evacuating them from their place.

Only God, and then my husband, were present.

As if God was protecting him from the treachery of this damned army that has no mercy on the bird and the cat, so that he can help this old woman and her daughter.

My heart was breaking when he decided to go for them, but there is nothing we can do... We are all forced to face these difficult circumstances and life, and we must unite, feel for each other and help with everything we can;

It applies to all of us in the end, and danger surrounds us from every direction, and we are all in God's care.

Oh my friend…

I remember this period in its entirety.

Even the cats… I remember how they would all gather in our house so that we could feed them.

To the point that they would attack me out of hunger and try to devour the food I prepared for the table. I saw them as terrifying cats with a sharp look and a frightening voice, so even though I loved them, I was afraid at the time.

I don't know... Is it from her hunger, or the shock of her fear, or did she actually taste the bodies of the martyrs?

I know, my dear... If you are reading my story now, you will want to know what happened to me regarding my unborn child and wonder...

But unfortunately, we lost him, I lost my first child, our little one whose joy was not complete when we met his innocent eyes, yes, the occupation killed him, because of what made us suffer from fatigue, hardship, fear, cold, hunger and endless displacement, this innocent person left and did not want to come to this unjust world.

Do you know what?!

He was supposed to be three months old now.

I was going to be a mother.

And can you imagine what else, I didn't know I was pregnant all this time

It's fate, my friend, it always surprises us.

Thank God, God's compensation is beautiful, we did not lose hope, and we trust in God that He always hides the best for us, God willing. 💓

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Hey everyone..

I did not sleep last night. I was thinking for a long time and recalling some of the events that happened at this time last year. I wrote them down as part of a story I lived through at one point. For the first time, I feel that writing is what I needed.

If you can participate, do not hesitate💓 And if you can donate to our little family, you are saving us and your generous donation will make a difference so that we can start our lives anew.

While writing these letters I felt something strange at first. My heart was sad and my eyes were tearing

But when I finished I felt better I am fine now, And finally I thank everyone who supported me psychologically and financially. 🫂

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I had to see it, now the rest of you do too

Please do not ignore our suffering and leave us alone My name is Salman Helles, from the stricken Gaza Strip. We were displaced from the north of the Gaza Strip to the south of the Strip, and the family was dispersed in tents and displacement shelters. Our situation is very miserable. We do not have any of the necessities of life. We would not have asked for support and donations except because of our dire circumstances. Please donate to me as much as you can and make sure that your donation, no matter how small, contributes to saving us. If you cannot donate, share my campaign on your blog

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Reconstruction of bust of Roman emperor Caracalla.

Hello my dear friend

My name is Khalil from the afflicted Gaza Strip 🍉🇵🇸🇵🇸

I am the eldest of my brothers and I support them all after my mother was martyred in this war and two of them are injured from the war 🥺

Asking for help is not an easy matter but I am forced to do so forgive me

I ask everyone who sees this message to donate in order to save us from the horrors of war

I ask for help to save us and save my brothers.. The donation link is in my file and thank you

Unfortunately I can’t donate, but I can share