*leans On Antagonistic Character Like It's The 1950s And They're An Expensive Car*

Oumota Week 2023 / Day 2: Performance

[Juust a silly AU where NDRV3 is a stage play and uhh.. Tsumugi? divides the class into groups that need to come up with their own plot for their chapter. Yeahhh- Does it count?]

A clean version hehe

comic I made for Diamond in the Rough - a Mondo fanzine

had so much fun working on this one <3 and have my dog make a cameo

with adhd/autism it's funny like. people will call you weird all your life, people will bully you for your "outlandish" behaviour, people will criticize literally everything you do as "not normal", BUT THE SECOND YOU GET DIAGNOSED (or suggest you might have it) they're like "huh what but you're so normal, you're literally the most normal person I've ever seen, you're literally so normal and absolutely nothing is wrong with you? why would you have that now all of a sudden???"

Literally one of the most designs ever in danganronpa. To me

https://gofund.me/8416e129

This is definitelyyy something I feel vulnerable by sharing because I feel really guilty for asking for help like this, but - this is extremely life-changing news for me, let alone *what it is*, which is my top surgery.

I wrote a very sappy very candid explanation in the link itself, where donations are open too.

If you donated a lot of money, that'd change my life. If you donated a penny, it'd change my life. if you reblogged this post, it'd change my life. you don't know how much it would mean to me if you helped me. so thank u<33

i’ve been talking to professional taka enjoyers for the past couple of days, and one thing we’ve concluded is that taka actually wouldn’t know what to do if he came across someone crying and/or having a panic attack.

maybe he would have an idea of what to do, but it’s not the right idea. he would make things so much worse.

dude saw makoto bummed after losing sayaka and responded by saying “at least you don’t have a corpse rotting in your bathroom anymore” (paraphrasing)

if he saw that you were sad, he would say the most out of pocket shit to you in a happy tone and then look at you like this:

only hope he has at making you feel better is the chance that whatever he says is enough to shock you out of your current state and leave you confused instead of sad.

love you king.

so much trouble over something so small an eternity in that mirror is not that long now, is it?

Ultimate Sneak Attack

I’m a fierce believer and defender of Smooth Brain Astarion (affectionate).

I love that, if left to his own devices, he ends up dead in a ditch. I love that this pasty menace of an elf is a walking disaster. I love that his brain produces one coherent thought per day, only to have it backfire on him later on. I love that his first choice in freedom is to unapologetically be the worst version of himself. Because it makes sense. 

That’s what abuse and trauma do to your brain—they fuck with it. 

And in Astarion’s defence, the man didn’t have to use his brain for nearly 200 years—it’s probably the very thing that kept him as alive as he can be; to survive 200 years of pure shit. 

And what use is his brain when his days and nights are dictated by someone else for as long as he can remember? When he has no say in what clothes he wears. When he doesn’t get to choose what or when to eat. When his body and mind aren’t his own, distorted by torture and hunger and self-loathing, forced to obey his vampiric master. Why use his brain when his survival depends exclusively on his abuser’s whims? 

Astarion could’ve come up with the most brilliant plan possible to escape Cazador or save a mark from their doom, but he never stood a chance of succeeding—which doesn’t mean that he didn’t get punished for trying (or even thinking about it) anyway.

Existing under Cazador was a game he couldn’t win, so why bother playing? 

And it’s only by chance that Astarion’s autonomy is returned to him literally overnight. It’s only natural that he’s overwhelmed by his newfound freedom. How is he expected to make sound decisions when he can’t even recall a time when he could do and say as he pleased? 

Of course Astarion is a walking disaster when he finds himself on that beach after the Nautiloid crash—and he’s fully aware of that! That’s why it’s so crucial for him to get on the player’s/other companion’s good side.

He’s self-aware enough to be so insecure about himself that he would rather trust a stranger’s capabilities than his own. 

Being a catastrophe of a person is part of Astarion’s character journey. Not only does he have to reclaim his personhood, he has to learn how to depend on his own brain again and I think that's such a painfully beautiful, important message Baldur’s Gate 3 sends. 

Because healing isn’t pretty. Nor is it easy.

You’re not alright the moment you’re free of whatever horrors you had to live through—and that’s ok! There’s time and room for you to adjust. 

And the moment Astarion feels more or less safe within his new environment, when he’s fed and treated like a person worthy of respect and consideration, his insights, skills and perception are crucial assets to the group.

Astarion knows his art and literature, and although his little remarks are unhinged at times, he's genuinely witty. Even his objections are, considering the circumstances, absolutely legitimate.

Personally, I love seeing Smooth Brain Astarion become more and more secure in his judgement the more Tav/other companions trust and support him.

Astarion is smart, his brain’s just been stewed for nearly 200 years.

SEXY GHOUL MAYOR