On The Off Chance That Aizawa Manages To Get You Mad At Him For Whatever Reason, Your Initial Reaction

"Hancock has no regrets about becoming a ghoul"??

It baffles me when some people think Hancock has zero regrets about becoming a ghoul. Absolutely none at all apparently. Like yeah, he plays it up when you first meet him before he's a companion, but let's be real he plays up pretty much everything in regards to the whole "sexy king of the zombies" image he projects.

It takes travelling with you away from Goodneighbor to give him some time to be introspective for him to finally realize that him becoming a ghoul was just another escape route from himself again. He's got several lines of dialogue that literally reiterate this. It's a key point of his character:

Hell, running from myself is what made me into… into a damn Ghoul.

Well, I mean, I didn't always look this good. The drug that did this to me, that made me a Ghoul, I knew what it was going to do.

I just couldn't stand looking at the bastard I saw in the mirror anymore.

The coward who'd let all those Ghouls from Diamond City die. Who was too scared to protect his fellow drifters from Vic and his boys.

If I took it, I'd never have to look at him again. I could put that all behind me. I'd be free. Didn't seem like a choice at all. Turns out it was just me running from somethin' else in my life.

I mean, after reaching max affinity with you, he realizes that maybe it wasn't such a bad thing after all (because he's finally got an honest friend he can be open with now). He now feels comfortable where he is - but to imply that he doesn't have at least the tiniest amount of regret? Heck, if you go onto romance him (or attempt to), he stops referring to himself as handsome and literally starts calling himself ugly, which naturally goes entirely against the image he projects:

Why don't we just agree to keep it friendly for now or till they find a cure for ugly? Heh.

You don't want to wake up to this mug every morning. Never wish that on anyone I cared for.

You sure you want to be stuck with this ugly mug?

(You could even say he implies it beforehand with another line of dialogue elsewhere in-game when he says "I'd be mad too if I was that ugly." But that's a stretch I guess.)

Combine that with the fact that 99% of ghouls don’t choose to become ghouls. Hancock did. But he didn't do it for a fun experience. He was already in a bad place when he became a ghoul. He didn't turn to be cool and edgy like he pretended he did when first getting to know him.

He lost his appearance, any connections to his old identity and old friends/people he might’ve been associated with (for better or worse), and in return gained hostility from bigots towards him for merely existing, from an overwhelming majority of the Commonwealth population that hates ghouls. There's the Institute and Brotherhood who want to kill anyone like him on top of that. Plenty of people out there who think he and other ghouls are monsters for just being alive.

Not only that, but something which adds onto this is the fact that he's a client of the Memory Den, and they're very selective with their customers. And what's the whole point of the Memory Den? Reliving past memories. Irma's terminal entry about Hancock, as well as the other two ghoul clients Kent and Daisy, all imply the memories they go back to relive are primarily from their human days. (The one on Hancock straight up says "if you thought he was handsome and dangerous now, you should've seen him before he turned ghoul.")

I genuinely refuse to believe that Hancock has never had any regret whatsoever about becoming a ghoul. The man who's spent a decent chunk of his life running from his own problems instead of confronting them, has NO regrets about taking a drug that alters his entire being and functionality on a biological level and will force him to outlive everyone he knows? This man is FULL of regrets!

trying to lie to him was the scariest part of the game

i might spam a bit for a while i have SO MUCH TO SHARE!!!

I'm thinking ab making charms/stickers what are we thinking squad

Something came over me

The Captain when Mark's acting up:

...i had all my programs out, so

Had a little brain thought about trans Kazuichi and this little interaction formed in my mind

this was unintentionally finished for Pride Month so yay!!

bonus doodle:

so @chihirolovebot 's sleep awake has been living rent free in my brain since i found it a week and a half ago, and i wanted to make my own Phys, and i'm actually proud of the results! i had a few ideas floating around my head, but every time is see Phys, my brain goes to Fizz, so that's the name i have on the character. idk if that's weird or not, but oh well.

here goes nothing:

no rendering but only because i want to get this out and i'm impatient. maybe i'll post this with clean line art and rendering, and maybe even a proper background. also i imagine they have piercings, i just didn't draw them (rip).

and the original sketch which points out some of the details:

seriously, this has been living rent free in my brain for a week, and i'm in love with sleep awake. it's so thoughtful and all the characters feel like they could be canon. i adore the changes to the storyline too. i don't have enough words to describe how giddy this story makes me!!!

anywhore, before i end this, i have a few other sketches to share, that, idk, maybe people would like to see:

these ones focus on an idea that Fizz is the mastermind. the first one is just a general mastermind concept (with shoes being the bane of my existence), and the second one was like if Fizz was the mastermind and also had been a part of DICE and was maybe responsible for the tragedy we see in Ouma's motive video, and with Fizz being the mastermind, they purposely left out those memories from Ouma, or whatever, i'm talking out of my ass tbh.

and i just finished this little comic, but i'm not good at drawing comics... so... enjoy?:

it's not knowing how to draw Ouma for me.

anyway, physouma brainrot is real.

i really enjoy sleep awake, i just have a hard time communicating my enjoyment sometimes. great story!

IT'S SO OUT OF TEMPO IK OKAY????!!!

I love the "Scream" Mondo AU, and maybe making a fanfic or comic about it would be cool, but y'all probably know that I fucking love Ishimondo, so... How could I make a story of Mondo being the serial killer but both end up in love (???) Idfk what tf I'm talking about anymore, whatever, enjoy. It's kinda sketchy tho.

the truth can be so cruel…

a mastermind!Shuichi AU that deviates from chapter 5 onwards.

once again comic practice! I had too much fun drawing an evil Shuichi…