Me After I Shop Online 😭😭😭😭

reblog and make a wish! this was removed from tumbrl due to “violating one or more of Tumblr’s Community Guidelines”, but since my wish came true the first time, I’m putting it back. :)

A COUPLE OF FACTS

Hawaiian pizza is not a thing that most people like in Hawaii (I personally think it’s fuckin disgusting)

Pineapples are South American (possibly Brazillian) not Hawaiian

Wearing a “Hawaiian” shirt to a party does not automatically make it a luau nor does it make you Hawaiian

There is a difference between “Hawaiian” shirts and Aloha shirts

Authentic Hawaiian lei are made out of actual flowers and not that fucking neon plastic shit you haoles keep wearing

Hawaiian is an actual race ethnicity, therefore not all people from Hawaii are Hawaiian.

Hula is a fucking hard thing to master. Just because it looks pretty doesn’t mean it’s easy.

Hawaii is an illegally overthrown country that had it’s sovereignty violently ripped away from it in 1893 when our queen was held captive in her own home.

There is so much more to Hawaiian culture than this stupid neon beach party pineapple grass skirt tiki bullshit that you all keep spreading around. 

Please stop.

have u ever met someone so terrible that it makes u a better person like u learn from mistakes that you haven’t even made purely from observing them, thank you for being so obnoxiously terrible, please don’t ever interact with me again

The Russian Santa Claus in Siberia (The eastern part of Russia situated in Asia). He’s known as Ded Moroz. -Merry Xmas from Universal Beauty 

>tfw people are calling you a onceler knock off when you were designed in 2008

OTParty

Person A and B sneak into a party/club.

Person A: I think that guard spotted us.

Person B: I don't think he did, you're probably just paranoid.

--10 seconds latter--

Person A and B being chased down by the same Guard

Person A: I told you!

Person B: shut up! I have an idea

*jumps up on the stage*

Person B: Hey everyone! *Points vaguely to back of room* Don't freak, but there's a guy with a gun!!

*crowd freaks out*

Person A: You're crazy!

Person B: No, I'm a genius! Now let's get out of here while the guards are busy!

…….

-GIRLY SCREAMS-

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

NGGGHHHHGNHGNHGN

MHPHMPHMFPHFGPGMHMPGHMGPHM

-Gulp-

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

IF YOU EVER NEED SOMETHING TO READ READ THIS

OK ARE YOU EVER IN NEED OF BOOK RECOMMENDATIONS BUT DON’T KNOW WHAT TO READ NEXT?

I present to you, straight from the internet, whichbook:

Here’s how it works: You click the link, and choose four categories and the extent to which these categories matter:

Then click “go” and it’ll come up with a number of books you might like.

DON’T LIKE THE CATEGORIES? NO PROBLEM - see this little thing:

THIS LITTLE THING WILL TAKE YOU TO THIS SLIGHTLY LARGER THING WHERE YOU CAN CHOOSE A BOOK BASED ON THE FOLLOWING:

YOU NOW HAVE NO EXCUSE TO NOT BE READING SOMETHING BECAUSE WHATEVER YOU WANT THIS SITE WILL COME UP WITH IT.

… Apart from bisexual retired alien dudes. No books on that. Yet.

# WHOEVER MADE THIS IS GOING TO BE FUCKING TAKEN OUT BY THE GODDAMN KGB