WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEY CRUCIFIED HIM

Mapicc logging on right after flame killed Leo, immediately messaging zam, asking him to help him kill flame, something they've done together countless times before because even if they were on different teams they could still kill flame together right??? Whether it be the empire or atlas or mawn or zaun. Then zam refusing to help him, basically confirming that he had been completely abandoned. If there was one thing that zam could ever rely on mapicc for it was getting him on to fight against mane and flame. Killing them was something they decided to do together. And now zam wasn't even willing to help him with that???

And mapicc seeing that book zam wrote to derap. Zam has never shown his appreciation for mapicc in that way before to the point at which mapicc felt like he was simply someone to be used by zam. The way zam protects derapchu so desperately. It's clear that he cares so much more about derap than mapicc. Whether this is actually true or not does not matter because that's how it looks right now to everyone involved.

And derapchu saying he doesn't hate mapicc, but mapicc hates him. Yet all he does is complain about mapicc and is so clearly against him despite zam wanting to remain neutral with mawn and keep ties with mapicc. Derap wants to recruit more people to zaun. He wants to spite mapicc. And he does not want to work with mapicc at all. If derap was not in call when mapicc logged on again to ask zam to help him with killing flame, would zam have accepted? To get his teammate back? Even derap in chat while mapicc was trying to talk to zam about the drowning of spawn. Could zam have expressed more clearly how much he cared about mapicc if derap wasn't there? And derap for his part very clearly showing how little he understood how much mapicc cared about zam in that moment, laughing and pointing out things mapicc could be lying about in the chat.

Zam has derap now, and at least mapicc had flame for a couple of days, but now mapicc has absolutely no one. Can Spoke get on? Can minuite grind back up to 20 already? Can ro come back? Mapicc, who had already been feeling lost before he started mawn, seems to have come out of it even more lost and confused and alone.

Mapicc was always there when zam asked him to come online to kill mane and flame. Even though they weren't teammates, and even though the empire had done things zam didn't like, and even though zams oath was lowkey, holding them both back. But now, when mapicc asks zam for the same thing back, it's just not reciprocated. Even mapicc not hitting zam once during the fight and begging him to join mawn compared to zams absolute denial of him, and his decision to be completely cut ties with mawn and therefore mapicc to appease his morals and desire to remain on good terms with mapicc. They care about each other so much, but zam has someone to turn to when things get rough and mapicc has no one else. There is an imbalance in this relationship. Probably not by how much they each care but more so their situations right now.

The thing is tho when zam was truly alone in fighting against mane and flame mapicc could be a constant in his life and now that mapicc is alone, zam can't do that for him. Yet they both still try so hard to stay together despite it. Zam constantly thinking about mapicc, worrying what actions will affect mapicc and mawn without impeding on his morals, trying to walk the fine line of being mapiccs enemy or being mapiccs teammate. Always compromising his beliefs for mapicc, turning a blind eye, building the orbital, and even now not actively going against mawn. And mapicc communicating with zam, talking to him, telling him as much as he can bring himself to about how he feels about their relationship, constantly trying to find a way to work together again with zam.

Right now so much is keeping them apart but they still long for each other and they still feel hurt by each other and they still care about each other but everything is slowly falling apart and I just hope when it comes down to it something horrible happens to both of them and they end up just as devoted to each other as enemies as they were when allied. Or they can communicate and work together and be happy please that'd also be great. Can happy devotions be my Christmas miracle, please, and thank you, santa pangi !!!!

How could this be?

the roller coaster of emotions i went through last night was insane yall

just random stuff yippe yipeppeee!!!!!!!!!!!!! sigh.................. mutin y duo or something idl k dsakjdasdjkkajsd

My design of the mafia Leader Ashswag

I like to think

My design of the mafia Leader Ashswag

He is just a little bug guy, he would never harm anyone trust me ;p

Commission

Version with ink designs is under the cut!

Yeah I don't like it much but at this point I spent too much time on this drawing and just want to move on

unstable universe spoilers !!

anyways i love my vscode themes and stuff