Modern Vampire Who Has Spent The Last 70-ish Years Of Their Immortality Primarily Being Slutty In Nightclubs

Blogging this tweet because this explains SO MUCH about the mindset of pretty much all the folks I’ve known who’re against single-payer, it’s not even funny…

me and gf were making out and i slipped my hand into her waistband for a second and burst into uncontrollable laughter because this fucking tweet appeared in my head like a message from god

i’ve fucked guys i should’ve shot in the head

cauliflowrr

yeah that's right . That's the thought . Its cauliflower

things that made me stop wanting to die that require no effort whatsoever

change the color used to highlight text on your laptop

move the pictures on your wall

stack whatever clutter is in your room into piles even if you don’t have time to clean it all

slightly vary your commute, even just by one street

change where you sit and scroll aimlessly on your phone even if it’s only to the chair in your room instead of your bed

drink water or juice out of a wine glass in the morning because nothing is real

shower with the lights off, without music

buy $3 flowers at trader joe’s—they look bad next to the more expensive ones but they look so good in your room

start typing things you don’t post into your notes. your thoughts can be worth documenting even if you don’t deem them worth sharing

wake up super early just once. you don’t have to make it a habit it’s just extra satisfying to go to bed that night

listen to the entirety of your favorite album from 2015

Can we see a puppy

seeing strange fetishes im not into on my dash is like observing an edible herb on a walk. Hmm. someone wise ☝ could make use of this... but i shan't 👴

you paint such a beautiful picture with your words anon thank you

My genuine expectation for that sentence

womb tattoo on forehead because mind pregnate with ideas