"At The Core Of Many Of Kurt's Internal Struggles Was His Disassociation With The Masculine Ideal. 'I've

"At the core of many of Kurt's internal struggles was his disassociation with the masculine ideal. 'I've always had a problem with the average macho man they've always been a threat to me,' he once said. Growing up in Aberdeen, Washington, he always felt at odds with the gruff culture of loggers and lumber mill workers, the jocks at school who he felt 'just wanted to fight and get laid'. His father tried to make him play baseball and go hunting; he would spend the whole time brooding silently, waiting until he could go home and listen to cassettes and draw pictures. In an environment where being male meant being aggressive and macho, this introspective blond kid - barely five foot seven, so skinny he would pile on extra layers of clothing to look bigger - was never going to fit in. He grew to look at masculinity from an outsider's perspective: 'I definitely feel closer to the female side of the human being than I do the male or the American idea of what a male is supposed to be.'

— Been a Son: Kurt Cobain and His Challenge to the Masculine Ideal