I’m nonverbal, but I feel as if my support needs are low to medium because I am able to live by myself. I do have issues that I need assistance on like knowing when to eat and reminding myself to do things due to lack of time understanding, but I can function well on my own.
There's a user on this site who is autistic and recently made a post about support needs, and I wanted your opinion as someone who has higher support needs than myself, cause I need to know if I'm in the right for disagreeing with them.
In their post, they claimed that when autistics refer to support needs, they're only talking about social deficits. If you're nonverbal, you're automatically high support needs. If you can speak clearly and verbally with ease but can't perform ADLs, you're still low support needs because autism is only a social disability.
Is that... right?? because a lot of autistic blogs are agreeing with them but I found it really perplexing and insulting, so I wanted to hear your thoughts.
I fully disagree with that person.
I know speaking people with high support needs. I know nonspeaking people with low support needs.
Support needs refers to how much support someone needs in daily life. I have mid-high support needs, not because I am nonspeaking, but because I will never be able to live alone, I cannot take care of myself, etc. and due to these things I NEED SUPPORT. Being nonspeaking absolutely makes my support needs higher than a speaking persons in the area of communication, but in general? Absolutely not. "Social deficits" can be related to support needs for some people, but that is most definitely not what it means.
I will always need to live with someone - that heightens my support needs.
I can not make myself food - that heightens my support needs.
I need quite a few disability aids - that heightens my support needs.
You probably get the idea.
Also, autism is NOT "only a social disability", that's part of it, yeah, but saying that's all it is is so invalidating and just-- isnt true??
Autism is a developmental disability. It affects my communication. It affects how I feel. It affects how I learn. It affects how I process. It affects how I think. There is nothing in me that isnt affected by me being autistic. Autism is not "just a social disability". A very quick google search will inform you that autism is a developmental disability.
Please do not laugh if I misspell something or if my device pronounces a word wrong. I am doing my best. It tends to make me feel self-conscious about using my device, which can make it harder for me to communicate effectively in the future.
I understand that mispronunciations and misspellings can be funny in some contexts, but when it's happening to me, it's not funny at all. It's actually quite embarrassing and it makes me feel like my communication efforts are not being taken seriously. Communication is such an important part of human interaction, and when you have to rely on a device to do it, it can already feel like a barrier. So when people react negatively to something that's already a struggle for me, it can be really discouraging.
I'm not writing this to shame anyone or make anyone feel bad. I just wanted to raise awareness about how these little moments can have a big impact on AAC users.
Me, right after I get a new diagnosis: HA, I knew it! All those crappy doctors who told me I was faking it were WRONG! This is great news!
Me, several hours later when the news actually hits me: *sobs alone in my room*
I don’t think that a lot of people know what ABA/masking “therapy” actually does to autistic children.
(ANALOGY) If you’re taking a pan out of a hot oven and it hurts your hand, you’ll scrunch your face up and go “ow!” But then someone else comes along and tells you to be quiet, and then force you to keep taking out and putting back in the pan, until you don’t react when you do it. It still hurts, of course, but you’ve been conditioned to not react whenever you are burned by the pan. You could’ve used an oven mitt or had someone else get the pan for you, or maybe just not have done it at all, but you were told for years what the “right way” to take the pan out was. And now you’ve built up callouses, and take the pan out the exact way you were trained to, unconsciously ignoring your pain. It still hurts, but you’re not supposed to do it another painless way, and instead continue to hurt, because it’s all you were taught to do.
ABA doesn’t make autistic kids’ lives easier, it makes the parents’ lives easier, because now they won’t have to listen to their child telling them that they’re in pain. Your child is upset and hurting, but it’s too “hard/stressful” for you to acknowledge and help them.
WE ARE NOT AN ANNOYANCE OR A BURDEN. WE ARE YOUR CHILDREN. WE ARE NOT A BROKEN PUZZLE THAT NEEDS TO BE PUT BACK TOGETHER.
We are people, we have thoughts and feelings, and we feel pain. But we keep it bottled up inside because showing love and care for your child is apparently too “difficult” for you.
(EDIT)
Holy shit this post blew up real quickly
Being autistic is when
Pick. One.
chest over knees gotta be the best position to stop the cramps
If you are a coffee or tea drinker, make sure to invest in whitening toothpaste or white strips.
Floss, it defines your teeth and improves your smile.
Moisturize your skin. I never realized how much of a difference it made until I did it for the first time and someone close to me mentioned how much more awake and lively I looked that day.
If you aren't big on jewelry, at least wear earrings. They can be clip-ons or actual earrings, the point is that earrings elevate any look and make you look put together. A subtle but profound difference.
If you find that a full face of makeup is too time-consuming, invest in a brow gel, mascara and lash curler, concealer for under your eyes, and lipstick that can double as blush. These few things make a huge difference in looking put together.
If you struggle with lipstick because it doesn't go on smoothly or emphasizes the cracks in your lips, invest in a lip scrub or gently rub your lips with a washcloth or your finger after a shower to get rid of any dry skin and smooth them out.
If you're looking to change your wardrobe I suggest one piece dresses over a skirt and shirt combo. It's a small difference, but finding one throw over that goes with your dress as much easier than finding a throw over and a top that match.
Invest in a purse large enough to carry around everything that you have with you on a daily basis. It looks much more put together to have one satchel that holds all of your belongings, than to be struggling constantly to hold everything.
Keep a planner in your purse that is color coded by the following categories: work, personal, chores, and family. This allows you to make sure that you are allocating adequate time to each of these four pillars without neglecting the others.
Find a signature nail color, or two, and keep your nails neatly trimmed and polished. Freshen up your polish every few days.
Find your signature scent — this applies to deodorants, body mists, and perfumes. You don't need more than one of each, just find your favorite and stick to it. It removes the complication of having to choose later.
In a world of constantly chasing the next new thing — find the hygiene products that work for your hair and skin type and stick to them. This takes away from the constant need for something ne.
Create a skincare routine — even if it is just a face wash and moisturizer. Use this routine for your face, neck, and hands as these places are most prone to signs of aging.
There are so many things I probably forgot to list, but feel free to reblog with your own tips!
one day you think: I want to die. and then you think, very quietly: actually. actually. I think I want a coffee. a nap. a sandwich. a book. and I want to die turns day by day into want to go home, I want to walk in the woods, I want to see my friend, I want to sit in the sun, I want a cleaner kitchen, I want a better job, I want to live somewhere else. I want to live.
- via duckbunny
Pay attention to things that usually pass you by unnoticed. Discover new sounds in songs you like and new meanings in your favorite stories. And then go beyond. Listen to new songs. Read new stories. Fall in love with astronomy and then with painting. Start writing poems, songs, and love letters. The possibilities are endless and whatever you choose to do, just remember to never stop opening the doors of your existence because behind some of them you may actually find yourself.
I go by Bisho. I'm chronically ill, Autistic, and Physically Disabled. I love Horror Games and Kirby so much. I suck at social interactions online and in person.
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