Emstrogren - This Blog Is HIPAA Compliant

If you live in an area with multiple hospitals within a small radius (I'm talking within a 30-40 minute drive), it's good to take the time to look up what hospitals offer what services.

Hospital A might be 10 minutes away, but it doesn't have a cath lab, so they won't be as helpful if you have a heart attack. Hospital B that's 20 minutes away does.

Some hospitals offer better prenatal care. Some are better for physical trauma. Ambulance crews are taught to know which hospitals are most appropriate for emergencies, but it's good to know who does what

It's been years but I still think one of the funniest things I've ever seen was when one of the local hospitals sent out a post saying "Happy EMS week to all of the Doctors, Nurses, and Ambulance Drivers" and had to change it within 5 minutes.

Hey dispatch, did they tell you guys what the patient's being transferred for?

Yeah he swallowed a penny

Oh, well there you have it. That makes sense. This hospital only deals in nickles and dimes.

Today's vibe is fantasizing about kidnapping your coworkers and forcing them to watch several hundred hours of cross-contamination prevention seminars

The amount of times I have to remind coworkers to wear GLOVES with patients is way too high

stupid fucking coworker ass meme posted in the work group chat BUT!!!!!!!! it made me do a laugh.

Playing a dangerous game by trying to eat my spaghettios while my coworker, who is notorious for turning us all into flight medics, drives to the next call

The spaghettios are too hot to eat. Will the EMT finish her lunch in time? Will she arrive clean? Will the nurse give a decent report? These are the burning questions with which I must grapple

Playing a dangerous game by trying to eat my spaghettios while my coworker, who is notorious for turning us all into flight medics, drives to the next call

Me: okay, so imagine for a moment... That the monitor is your patient, ok?

Trainee: okay...

Me: so, the wires for the leads are kind of like your spinal cord. The spine can bend a little bit, but it usual only wants to bend one way, and you don't want it to bend too much or get pinched, right?

Trainee: I... Sure?

Me: Right Right, so... The way you wrapped these leads... If this monitor were a patient, I'd be checking for a priapism.

Gotta say, I was prepared for a lot when I became an EMT, but what I was not prepared for was the amount of other queer people in this field.

It's nice

Got in the truck today and it smelled inexplicably like olives.

I don't know why it smelled like olives.

I didn't find any olives.

I didn't even like olives.

But either way I wasn't having it.

So now the truck smells like bleach.