Tim, [pointing His Staff At The Human Traffickers]: YOU ARE OUTGUNNED

Shout out to @p0ssym1lker for my new thirst of super tall jazz and "i fight like a Iike a rabid badger danny". didn't know I needed this in my life but here we are.

The scene for my Funsized and Feral prompt yesterday. This one is long y'all. The writing goblin would not let go.

I might make a few more under the same AU. There was far more world building in this than i intended. Meh. We will see.

I dont know how to link past posts so if someone knows please help.

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Jason could confidently say that Dead End Cafe was his new favorite place to eat.

The place was quirky, the small family that owned even more so, but oddly enough, it managed to fit into the little nook in Crime Ally without seeming out of place.

The shop and family had popped up out of nowhere about a year and a half ago. Bought out a whole block of crime ally that had been condemned for god knows how long (a two story shop, with two small buildings behind it.) And they had set up FAST.

Like big money fast.

Suddenly there was a nice little cartoony ghost theme Cafe with a house above and two small warehouses behind it with unknown contents. It screamed suspicious.

Jason had dug into the purchase and found it was infact, big money, two different sources. The head scratcher was that it was legitimate big money. The area had been bought under three names:

Daniel J. Manson-Foley-Fenton

Samantha A. Manson-Foley-Fenton

Tucker R. Manson-Foley-Fenton

It was clean. All of it. Apparently, a group of three high-school sweethearts, two of which were heirs to some pretty wealthy families) had decided that they were gonna move to Gotham and open a quaint little cafe in Crime Ally..... right.

He send a request to Tim to dig a bit deeper(fucker owed him a favour). Then proceeded to stake out the place as both Red hood and Jason.

Nothing. Not a damn thing. Apparently, the two warehouses were a greenhouse and a makeshift garage. He had searched all the electronic files (with Tim AND Barbara help!) Still nothing.

Samantha apparently liked to garden enough that she was willing to help feed all of Crime ally with it.

Tucker on the other hand, doubled as both a video game designer and someone who Timmy himself said he wanted in Wayne Inc. R&D (His current project was a prosthetic arm that was supposed to be better then anything on the market for people who lived in harsh environments? Notes about getting someone nicknamed Frostbite to help test them?)

The only odd thing that all three of them could find was that apparently, Daniel's parents believed they were ghost hunters. After digging further, Tim found that the whole town was ghost themed. (A tourist trap, which honestly explained the cafe theme). They did, however, make a large sum of money through patented inventions.

Honestly, so long as they were not doing anything in supervillain territory, Jason didn't care what they wasted their money on.

In a last ditch effort to find something, ANYTHING at this point. (This was actually starting to bug him, even the food they tested was clean, like "cleaner then you find in most of Gothams fast food places Jason" clean... he did not need that info replacement thanks.)

He evently caved and went inside the Cafe as Jason Todd.

The inside of the Cafe was just as weird as the rest of it. A mix of techno, Gothic punk, and peppy cartoon ghost that just... worked?

It was nice honestly, it was homey, but had a fun theme. It was the type of Cafe you looked for in the higher end of Gotham when you acted something different but still "upscale".

It should have felt out of place. But it didn't. The room was inviting, the food smelt delicious, there was a reading corner, the walls with hanging plants. It was nice. Too nice. Nice things like this didn't survive in Crime Ally. Jason knew that better them most.

Deep in thought, Jason nearly had a heart attack when a young voice spoke up.

"You smell funny"

Jason blinked before look down. Yep, that was a small child. A small three maybe four year old child who looked like a tiny female version of one Daniel M.F. Fenton.

"Um what?" Jason asked slightly thrown. Where had she come from?

The small girl barely came past Jason's knee but she still looked him dead in the eye before stating innocently,

"You smell funny, you're like the stinky piles that Cujo make in the yard."

Jason was pretty sure he just got told he's a peice of shit.

"ELLIE LILITH" a voice rang out.

Speak of the devil, Jason watched as Daniel rounded the counter walking quickly up to his.. daughter? (There had not been a kid mentioned in his files)

"You apologize right this second young lady, that was very rude" Daniel scolded.

"But mama it's true, like Cujo" EIlie protested.

(Maybe not a he) Jason thought as he watched the pair with an odd sense of bewildered amusement.

"Cujo" he asked looking at Daniel.

The man? looked mortified "our dog" was the reply before turning back to further scold the girl.

Jason definitely just got called a peice of shit.

(Well damn) he thought watching the back inforth between parent and daughter (kid might make a Gothamite after all)

in the end Ellie had given a half hearted apology about "sorry for calling the stinky man funny" before running off leaving Jason to talk with a horrified Daniel "please call me danny and our last name is a mouthfull" Fenton.

Apparently he was infact he/him being called mama was a thing form thier home town. Danny said he was cool with it so jason shrugged and accepted as another family quirk.

Jason had left the cafe that day with mixed feelings. Apparently, three highschool sweet hearts really had set up a quaint cafe in Crime Ally.... huh.

It was a nice place one Jason would like to go back to. But as stated earlier, nice places didn't last long in crime ally. The cafe would most likely be packed up and gone in a month.

The cafe was not gone in a month.

Or two, or three. By month four crime ally had slowly started to accept Dead End cafe as a neutral area similar to Dr. Leslie's clinic. They gave good food at prices that everyone was aware would run a normal business into the ground and treated everyone who came in like family. (It was almost scary how Danny never seemed to forget a name)

By month five Jason gave the kids that ran in his circles the ok to trust the Fentons. By month eight Dead End was declared off limits for robbery and gang fights. (petty crime may run rampant in gotham but even the roughest of gothamites won't mess with a place that gives freely without discrimination or a risk of cops).

By the first year, most of the gangs and small time thugs had accepted the Fentons as theirs and kept an eye out. They may not be able to stop the big names, but like hell thier favorite cafe was getting robbed by some upstart.

Jason can clearly remember sitting in his favorite spot with a book a little after the one year mark when one of the regulars had stopped Tucker. The whole cafe had seemed to hush as the mood in the cafe shifted.

"Look" said the guy (Jason was pretty sure he recently he had recently been working for Penguin) " it been bugging quite a few of us recently and we were hoping to talk with the two of you's" he raised his chin towards Sam who was also on the floor, (a rare day both Danny and Ellie were not in the shop).

"We know the two of you's can handle yourselves."

(Understatement, Tucker was built like Jason and was a good three inches taller with a mean right hook. Sam had been jumped a few times before the off limits and the damage she left was actully more the the average bat.)

"But more often then not its just your boy and your ankle bitter here. (Ellie has, in fact, a bit four different peoples ankles) "he's a real sweetheart that one, but fight wise he looks like a stiff wind would push him over." Jason could see a few others in the cafe nodding along. "Me and a few of the others have been doing some rounds when we can but it's not hard to see that the two of you are not on the floor often. We know you both do hard work at those shops of your, we appreciate it really, but it also leave a large amount of time when they aren't protected. It's practically an invitation to bastards looking for a quick buck." The man looked from both Tucker to Sam then back to Tucker. "We's was hoping to set up a chart with you when you won't be here. It won't be perfect but alot of us would feel alot better if Ma Fenton wasn't by himself so often."

Ma Fenton. It had been a bit odd for some of the people to get used to the fact that Danny was mama, and Sam was Papa. However, after they got used to it, it seemed to catch. Because unintentionally, Danny had become a parental figure to alot of people. He had a presence that made you feel safe and content. You needed advice? young or old danny had an ear ready and a plate of hot food. He was almost a foot smaller then both his partners, sweet and honestly not hard on the eyes. More then a few flirted him in passing (Jason was pretty sure that the ankles Ellie targeted were not random.... good on the brat.)

Danny was bright. Way to bright for Gotham. Jason might start swinging by at different times as well.

Jason had been about offer up his help with making a schedule when Tucker spoke up.

"Wow, um, so that's really thoughtful of you guys and by all means if it makes you guys feel better go for it." Tucker looked like he was struggling to find words glancing at an amused Sam. "There seems to have been a small misunderstanding" she said taking over.

"You see" Sam said grinning " it might not be Gotham but Amity Park had a unwritten rules of its own." Sam slowly moved towards the man that had stopped Tucker, all eyes in the cafe following. "Don't wander the graveyards." Step. "Don't go into the corn fields alone" Step. "Some of them were just for fun, don't sit under the willow tree in center park on a full moon". Sam stopped in front of the man, the room absolutely charged with tension despite how ridiculous the "rules" sounded.

"There were three rules that were made the day the Fentons set up shop in Amity. They were jokes when they first started but everyone and their dog new them as law by the time we moved here."

Sam's voice lost it's hard edge as she started to list. "One, if you need a hand, get a Fenton. There is no family in Amity more willing to help then the Fentons". The Room lot some of its tension as Sam huffed a laugh. " these rules are not limited to Amity by the way". The man (Jason really should get a name) rolled his eyes but still nodded in agreement.

"Two" Sam's soft smile became a mean looking smirk. "Don't not ever, and I mean ever. fuck with an angry Fenton". Sam's smirk seemed to grow as the disbelief showed on the faces around her.

"I'm serious" she had said. "The number of times Tucker and I had to drag Danny away from a fight because someone threated one of us. Angry Fentons can be down right feral. The last place you want to be is in-between an angry Fenton and thier target."

Sam shook her head as she grabbed the empty dishes off the table, walking to the back. "Make a schedule if you wish, Tucker and I will help as best we can. But Danny isn't nearly as helpless as he seems."

"What's the last one" a different regular called out. Sam stopped, turning to face them. "Last one of what"? She asked.

"You said there were three rules, what's the third?" They asked.

Sam just shook her head before turning back to the kitchen. "Sorry" she called back. "But that one is an Amity only rule"

They had set up a schedule.

It was a good one. The guys on the list had joked it was more like a scheduled break time then a guard duty. The few small time thugs that didn't care about the off limits rule weren't stupid enough to attack with the number of known fighters they had rotating through.

Key words being small time thugs.

Almost a year and a half on the dot Jason could admit they may have miscalculated and Sam may have been pretty spot-fucking-on about calling her husband "feral".

The cafe has been packed. It was mid lunch rush on a cold day. Jason sat in his usual spot, a now four year old ankle bitter to his left. (What not stinky today? Your getting better)

It started with a loud bang, the sound cutting over top of the crowded sounds. The clanging of pots hitting the ground caused the cafe to quite down. others starting to notice something was wrong, several people rising to take a look.

A shrill scream silenced the cafe completely, multiple people drawing weapons. Jason pulled Ellie to his other side shielding her as the sounds of a fight started up. (The back!! they didn't have anyone guarding the back today). Jason did his best to take control of the situation without exposing Ellie.

"You three get in a close as you can, don't shoot until you know you won't hit Danny, the rest of you guard those without a weapon. If you don't have a weapon get the hell against the wall and the fuck out of the way!"

People were scrambling to get to thier spots as the three Jason had first ordered were already at the kitchen door. Henry (Jason had learned the names of the guys he had on shift) pushed open the door, gun at the ready, only to be pushed right out of the way as the God damn fucking JOKER of all people pushed past him, around the counter and into the room.

There was a moment of horrified silence as everyone registered who was in the room.

Jason was panicked. The green that he had never felt in the cafe before started to rise. Taking in the Joker as he heaved for breath looking far more deranged than standard. Fuck Bruce, Fuck the no kill rule, if the Joker had hurt Danny he was DEAD.

Jason prepared to shoot as quiet as he could. The Joker wasn't paying attention to him yet, but the sound of a cocking gun would definitely get it. (He shouldn't have brought his old single shot pistol. What was he thinking?!) He could not risk Ellie behind him. He could do this. He just had to be quick, cock the pistol, aim, fire.

Jason took a breath, eyes green and locked on the Joker. Breathing out he whipped the gun up, cocking it with his other hand, only to freeze as unholy SHRIEK sounded as the kitchen door SLAMMED open.

Danny M.other F.ucking Fenton, in all his 5'1" glory, stood at the kitchen door cast-iron frying pan in hand, glaring at the Joker with a force that made the worst of Bruce's batglares look tame. In the time it took Jason to blink, Danny had thrown himself up onto, and off the counter, into the Joker, in what Jason swears was was the most beautifully executed fully body flying tackle he has ever seen.

What followed after that can only be described as a fight between two rabid badgers.

There was hair pulling, scratching, biting,(Jason now knew where Ellie got THAT from) at one point in the fight a few poor schmucks had actually unfrozen long enough to attempt to pull Danny away from the crazy mass murderer, only to be hissed at. Honest to God hissed at.

It was wild, Danny at one point had the Joker pinned and was just going town. (for someone so small he had a nasty looking punch.) He counted at least two chairs being thrown, three tables, and one cup. Danny even took a whole chunk of hair out. (It was still there on the floor, no one wanted to touch it.)

The fight didn't end, so much as move on when the Joker finally managed to throw Danny off long enough for him to run. He actually ran. away. from DANNY. The same Danny who after getting his footing saw the fucking JOKER running away. Scooped up his frying pan and ran AFTER him.

No one in the cafe moved. No one knew what do. They had seen fights ok. They had seen alot of fights, but the level of absolute FERAL that they just witnessed was a new level. Even more then that people were trying to align the sweet,happy, looks like he couldn't hurt a fly Danny with the I maybe possessed by a demon with rabies Danny that just took a literal bite out of the Joker.

They stayed frozen until Danny came back to the cafe. Smiling like he did normally everyday, Danny had taken one look around the cafe, apologized for the scare, and asked if there was "anyone willing to help him move the four men in the kitchen that defiantly need medical attention out" and "not to worry about the blood stains he would deal with those after he changed."

Jason himself was still partly dazed when Ellie spoke up curiously from behind him. "Mama did you kill the mean clown man?"

Jason (and everyone else in the cafe) turned to look at Danny.

Danny who had stopped at the bottom of the stairs leading to the house.

Danny who's hair was a mess, clothes rumpled and torn.

Danny, who's "I'm not small im fun-sized" apron, was splattered with red, and who's favorite frying pan matched.

Danny, who smiled back at them and made the same sentence that normally brought relief, sound like a threat.

"He'll live".

Well that was way longer then I meant it to be. Have you actual chapter? At 3am? cause I could not stop writing? Sorry for any mistakes but i am to tired to catch any more xD good night all!

Dick: the only reason I haven’t is because I fear for the doctors there.

Tim: oh please. I’m not the Joker.

Kon, suddenly in the middle of stopping a robot: he’s much worse.

Lex, confusion evident on his face: what?

Tim after saying something extremely worrying turns to Dick immediately after

Tim: Please don't put me in a mental hospital

Dick: I'm not gonna lie to you, I consider it sometimes

Lmao

Back to School

Summary: Tim  goes back to school. The batfam is upset to varying degrees.

Notes:  Fuck this time line. I’m assuming Tim is seventeen and between Bruce being lost in time and being temporary CEO of Wayne Industries, Tim never actually finished his last year of high school. He got to be CEO because of money and nepotism and let’s pretend he didn’t bother getting a GED. Which is the most likely option…or at least a fake GED.

Keep reading

Prompt 88

  In a world where every human starts with blood that’s a very bright red, only darkening by one taking another’s life, Tim is very careful. Apparently even using explosions in warehouses and wherever else the league of assassins had set up counted as killing, to his slight horror. He couldn’t let his team know of course, even if they joked about joining him if he turned villain. 

  It was one thing to joke, but if they saw his blood, pitch black and dark enough to nearly swallow the light around it? He really doesn’t want to see the horror or disgust. He isn’t going to let anyone know if he can help it. 

  So it’s a really shitty situation when one of the henchmen of one of the rogues decides to break his nose and about fifty-something people are suddenly very aware of his very high kill count. He has a choice here. And he isn’t entirely sure if he wants to deal with the consequences of either of them. 

Sometimes it's difficult to understand if the Force is testing him or if IT really wants something. Most often it is just a hum of voices in his head, day and night, morning and evening. Mumbling about the ship, noise about the stars, some nervous laughter. 

This officer thinks your hair looks funny! 

killhimkillhimkillhimkillhimkillhimkillhimkillhim 

no one gonna laught again!

no one

should

Snoke said he would be needed on this ship. From here, it will be easier to look for the remnants of the Jedi Order when a new vision comes to him. He's probably right.

Hux rushes through the corridors like a black wave. He takes his place in the assembly hall - it may have been someone else's place, but now it is his. To the right and left of him are people in uniform. They grumble about something of their own.

The noise in his ears grows. Hux folds his hands in prayer. Oh, the Force, he sleeps so little because of your trials, he should forget himself for a few hours...

The officers don't stops their talks.

"Shut up!" a voice booms over them.

And silence reigns.

Hux freezes, surprised. He is shocked by this silence. For the first time in years, all voices... all imaginary mouths closed. On someone else's orders.

He lifts his head to look at the general. A tall - big - man in black looks at the audience with displeasure.

Hux's heart takes one beat less.

And I promise you. No one will find your body… or maybe they’ll never STOP finding you. Depends on how much you annoy me.

Room full of Gotham rogues, tim enters it holding a gun a shoots a few bullets in the air to get everyone's attention

Tim: Alright, listen up, I do not want to be holding this gun, and that has absolutely nothing to do with the no kill rule and everything to do with that one time I met a future version of myself who was a mob boss who ran all of Gotham and was really into the whole shooting people thing so now any time I pick up a gun I'm like Is this it? Is this the pipeline? Is this how gun batman is created? THAT BEING SAID talk shit, get shot, understood?

Lmao. This is them.

can you draw clownzy pretty please:3 i think clownpierce misses his husband

what the hell, sure

The notification came not even a second ago, and it had him fly across the city just as fast.

Nightwing barely acknowledged the thrum of the Batmobil following closely behind, already on his way to west end of Gotham City.

"5 Assasins in view, more possibly hidden away. A child, around 11, leading them." Oracle's voice was clipped in the way Dick knew she didn't like this.

This screamed like a trap, why else would the League of Assassins be in Gotham of all places?

He lands on the roof, tense and gripping his escrima sticks tightly.

Batman is on his tail, taking over lead, and they are near the group of unwanted guests.

He sees Red Robin on the other roof, backup if needed.

The child clicks his tongue at the sight of them, shaking head with a grumble. "Danyal, Father has found us, we should get this over quickly."

The amount of shock and confusion he feels makes him wonder if it were a dream.

Another click of tongue but not from the child in front of them, no. It was another child re-appearing from the invisible spectrum.

His hand around the throat of a limp talon.

"I didn't think he would be so fast." The other child comments.

"As expected of father." The first child, green eyed and serious nods. Towards batman.

"Now, for the reason we are here."

He steps to the edge of the building, and Nightwing desperately wants to get him from it, clearing his throat.

"I, Damian al Ghul, heir to the demon's head, formally declare war on the Court of Owls." Damian's voice is loud, unforgiving and unrelenting. Eyes burning.

It almost made him miss the words he spoke.

"The League of Assassins has a claim to Gotham," the boy spits. "And i won't let some society take it from us."

The unnamed twin throws the limp talon from the edge with a grunt. "Take that as a warning!" He halfheartedly shouts after.

And so it began.

The horror Tim feels when Jack starts randomly showing up at the cave and helicoptering. Tim has vague recollections of having to constantly hide his phone when he was at boarding school because teachers would randomly pop in, talk to their phone, snap a picture, and leave again because of Jacks need to make sure his babies okay.

i know the fandom likes to make Jack out to be a terrible dad but i personally enjoy to imagine him as a man who's just not that smart, but tries his best.

Tim, like six years old, angry that he wasn't allowed desert before dinner: I hate you! I wish lived on my own and never saw you or Mommy again!

Jack, tearing up and booking flight tickets: Okay kiddo, love you.

Janet, giving birth: AAAAARGH. LOOK AT WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO ME, YOU COWARDLY BITCH. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO WANTS A BABY SO BAD, YOU SHOULD BE GIVING BIRTH!

Jack, tearing up and booking gender reassignment surgery: Okay darling, love you.

Nurse, glancing at his phone: You.. you know that surgery wont make you able to carry a child right?

Jack: Yes it will, it gives me a vagina!

Nurse: ...you know you need a uterus to actually carry the baby right?

Jack: What the fuck is a uterus? WAIT I CAN SEE THE BABYS HEAD OH MY GOSH JANET DEAR YOU'RE DOING SO WELL!

Tim, age 15: Dad, i'm glad you're trying to be better now but... Why did you and mom neglect me for so long?

Jack: You told us too! I wanted to raise you, i was a stay at home dad, but you said i was horrible and that you wanted to live on your own!

Tim: ...

Jack: Obviously that was irresponsible so we sent you to boarding school, but we only visited a few times a year to respect your boundaries. I would send you back, but I was in a coma so i'm allowed to be a little selfish and spend time with my baby.

Dick: Didn't your dad just wake up from a coma? And he's already got a girlfriend? No offense but-

Tim: My mom told him to.

Dick: Timmy, sometimes men lie-

Tim: No, literally, it was in her will. She literally told him that if she died first, he had to get a new partner, because she knew he'd die alone without her.

Dick: What...

Tim: Also, i was the one who chose Dana. She's great! Mom said I had to pick a blonde because yellow is his favourite colour.

Tim: Dad, why is the only picture of Mom you have framed one of her in a bikini? Do you not have any others?

Jack: I do, i have hundreds! But this was taken on the day she proposed to me! Well, i have more from that day, but they're not safe for little eyes.

Tim: Thats both the most romantic and disgusting thing i've ever heard.

Jack, puling out a picture of Janet sobbing and very obviously screaming: I have this picture of her on my bedside table though, its from when she found out she was pregnant with you! Two of the best days of my life!

Tim:… fair, although I hope she doesn’t try to get me to go back with her. I’d hate to have to blow up Damian’s mother. He might actually kill me this time.

*After joker escapes and tries to kill jason again*

Talia appearing out of nowhere*

Bruce: wha-

Talia: i'm ending this, and don't you dare try to stop me!

Tim: you're not going to stop her?

Bruce: would you?

Clark: i wouldn't, she scares me