DPXDC Prompt. Wes Weston In Metropolis.

Riddler: the second one was so much more *fun*.

What do you think the Riddler would say to piss off tim so much that he'd try to kill him in front of the other bats?

Kon, freezing: you can HEAR ME?!?!

Tim: FUCKING OBVIOUSLY! HOW DO YOU THINK I FIND YOU THREE SO EASILY???

Tim after saying something extremely worrying turns to Dick immediately after

Tim: Please don't put me in a mental hospital

Dick: I'm not gonna lie to you, I consider it sometimes

Bart: What's even on the Geneva Convention anyway?

Tim: Nothing that applies to us.

Kon: It doesn't apply to us?

Tim: No. Well, yes, it's supposed to, but No.

Geralt, pushing Jaskier behind him: The Bard meant no disrespect.

Jaskier, looking directly into a local lord’s eyes: No, I absolutely did.

Saving this for when Ao3 comes back up

Newscapepro SCP UnLondon 2: Hell Underwater

The team was sitting in the auditorium, General Flooper, and a man with short, well kept black hair in a nice suit complete with a bowler hat were standing upon the stage.

“This is Professor Otis, he’s a long time veteran of the European branch of The Foundation,” Flooper explained. “He’s here to assist us with the fixing of the recent breaches,”

“Danke, General,” The man stepped forward, talking quietly into the microphone. “I am… developing a weapon to more easily deal with the Skips without damaging them,”

Nikole whispered to the blonde to her side. “I heard of this thing ‘round the water cooler,”

“Shut up!” Triana whisper yelled at the older woman, who crossed her arms grumpily.

“Thank you, Otis; please give him a warm welcome to the Facility,” Flooper said. “A prototype of this weapon will be present in our return to UnLondon; head to the helicopter now, troops,”

And so there the team was, getting into a helicopter that soon began to fly from the US to England preparing to land at UnLondon again.

“Alright, we know that the Serpent’s Hand is in there; we’ll easily be able to surround them and force them to surrender,” Triana said

“Finally, somethin’ easy,” Nikole smirked.

Cory shifted in his seat a little. “I’m still pretty unsure about going back there… y’know cause that… guy I won’t mention kinda kidnapped me,”

“You were fine, right Cory?” Hooper asked, mostly jokingly with the smallest hint of concern.

Cory shuddered. “You wouldn’t believe the things I saw in there…”

“It was an empty room, and the… guy didn’t even try to stop Bigfoot from saving you,” Nikole rolled her eyes.

“Yeah, well it was still sucky!” Cory crossed his arms.

The helicopter landed in front of the entrance to the Skip shortly after; they quickly entered back into the gloomy city streets they had spent an unfortunate amount of time in.

“Alright, you all know exactly where the Serpent’s Hand base is, place is already surrounded we’re just here to make sure it stays that way,” Lara said over the radio. “Should be an easy mission,”

“Have all instances of SCP-1678 within this area been neutralised?” Triana asked.

“Pretty much, unless you really stray away from the group, *ahem* Nikole and Tri,”

“Wasn’t our fault these three ran in the wrong direction,” Nikole groaned.

“Yeah, Bluejay; we’re the ones that ended up actually finding anything,”

Despite the fact they couldn’t see her, the team could feel Lara rolling her eyes. “You still nearly got yourselves killed, I don’t wanna hear it,” She cleared her throat. “Anyways, just stick together, and uh… Tri,” Her tone got far more serious.

“Yeah Blue… yeah Honey?”

“Stay safe, alright? Losing comms kinda caused me a bit of a panic attack…” Lara chuckled uncomfortably.

Nikole smirked to herself as Triana also chuckled uncomfortably. “I will, don’t worry,”

“Phew… that goes for the rest of you, I know the autism makes it hard to tell, but I do actually like you guys,”

“I thought you only liked Triana,” Scott smirked… then got jabbed in the stomach by Triana.

Lara paused. “Shut up… moment’s over, just go to the place where all the other MTF are,”

Cory pouted. “Awww…”

“There’ll be more moments, Cory,” Hooper patted the man on the back.

“HALT, CRIMINAL!” The entire team all aimed at the alleyway where the now all too familiar sound of the Bobbies’ yelling came from, the two Officers began to rush them before-

BZZZT

A beautiful, yet terrifying blast of light and electricity came from behind the Bobbies; sending both of the Skips falling to the ground completely stunned.

The six stood there, equally stunned as the twitching mummified men on the ground.

“You’re welcome,” The MTF that fired the futuristic gun; closer to small canon than any gun the other MTF had seen. “This thing has been real good at dealing with these coppers,”

“Thanks…” Triana looked at the insignia on the soldier’s chest. “Sergeant, what are your orders?”

“We’re patrollin’, a lot less scary recently,”

Scott was ogling the gun. “Goddamn, how does that thing work?”

“I uh… don’t know, you probably shouldn’t be looking that close at it, sir,”

“Nah, I’m a Weapon’s Expert,” Scott confidently said. “I gotta get my hands on one of these,”

“You can just like… ask the General on your next mission,”

“What happens when it hits a person?”

“Let’s never find out, Scott,” Triana heaved a bit as she pulled the big guy away from the gun. “Let’s get back to the mission,”

“Aww…” Scott looked down for a minute, before going back to following Triana walking towards the Radio Tower in the distance.

“If it helps at all, I also wanna disassemble it,” Nikole patted the guy in the back.

“You prolly wanna try to put it in that flask o’ yours,” Hooper added, Lara chuckled over the radio.

Nikole pouted. “I mean you’re right, but like… that’s just kinda rude,”

---

“Doc, doc, doc!” A Serpent’s Hand member yelled as he ran to the basement of the tower, Evil Uni sat near the bottom.

“Jesus, settle down,” The dog man tried to wave the grunt’s fear away, spinning around on an office chair to face him. “What’s wrong?”

“The Foundation! Th-they have us surrounded!”

Duni sat there for a moment, pondering in thought. “Nothing to worry about, we’ll be out of here in no time,”

“How? They have the-”

Duni hit a button and opened up a secret hatch, leading to a submarine underwater.

“Impressed? We stole this bad boy from The Foundation,” Duni invited the man in. “This will only be a minor setback in our plans,”

---

“This feels… too easy,” Cory shuddered, counting the streetlamps in his head as his team got to the outside of the tower.

“That’s a good thing, Cory,” Triana turned to face the Private.

“These Serpent’s Hand guys are super crafty, we aren’t just gonna be able to get them out of there,” Cory said. “We gotta go in there,”

“We don’t have the authorisation; we need to wait until reinforcements arrive,” Triana ordered.

Hooper butted in. “Yeah, Cory; we shouldn’t go in ‘till we got more people to back us up,”

“Oh, screw that,” Cory ran towards the front door. “I’m not gonna let these guys kill any more people,” He bolted into the building as fast as he could.

“CORY!” Triana reached out to him.

“Holy shit, the kid did it… whatever that was,” Nikole looked at the door with a mix of pride and shock.

“So are we goin’ in after him?” Scott asked.

“No,” Lara sighed. “We’d need to wait for reinforcements to do anything,”

“Goddammit,” Hooper sighed. “I’ll go after him,”

“Wha?”

“Don’t worry about it LT, I just gotta do this; we’ll be safe,”

“Hooper, I am ordering you to-”

“And I’m refusin’, see ya soon Lieutenant,” Hooper ran into the building.

---

Cory instantly noticed the lack of Serpent’s Hand members, not even a single grunt was in there-

“Cory!”

“Agh!” Cory jumped backwards as he heard the familiar Southern accent of his friend. “Hoop? I thought you were staying behind,”

“You’re gonna need backup, Cory,” Hooper explained as he helped Cory get up from the floor. “No one’s in here,”

Cory looked lost in thought for a moment… “The basement! What if they have like… a submarine in there!”

“Cory, that sounds like a trauma response… and like a real bad idea,”

Cory lead Hooper by his wrist to the basement. “You just gotta trust me, Hoop!”

Cory and Hooper looked into the basement, seeing the secret hatch which lead to the secret room with the-

“Submarine!” Cory whispered to the Corporal.

“How are we gonna get on?”

Cory’s eyes looked over a large crate, he then looked Hooper in the eyes.

“Cory-”

“It’s our only choice, Hoop,” Cory smiled.

They shoved themselves into the crate soon after, probably the absolute worst fit considering that they were two grown men; they soon heard two people walk towards them and pick up the crate.

“God, this thing is way heavier than I thought,”

“What do they got in here, bricks?”

“Anomalies?”

“Anomalous bricks?”

The men’s conversation finished as they dumped the box on the cold metal floor; the two waited until all the sounds of chatter, and walking were far away enough; they quickly opened up the box and stood up in the cramped metal storage room of the submarine; shiny yet dark and with dozens boxes stacked utop each other.

“I’ll be damned, Cory, that actually worked,” Hooper whispered.

Cory scoffed. “Of course it did, now we gotta… uh…”

“Did you seriously not think this far ahead?”

Cory looked down. “Maybe… I uh… didn’t think we’d get this far,”

“Goddam-”

“Halt Jailers, put your hands up!” The shout from the two Serpent’s Hand grunts caused the two men to comply.

“Aw crap,”

The black dog man sauntered in looking as smug as ever he eyed up Cory with a smirk on his face. “There you are, finally deciding to defect to the good side, huh?”

“Never!”

The dog sighed. “Pity, thought you and… whoever this is finally grew a conscious-”

RUMBLE

“I- what the hell is going on over there?” Duni shouted over in the general direction of the cockpit, his voice sounding more shaken than before considering the sheer force of the rumbling. Cory nearly vomited from the motion sickness.

“Something is swimming around us, Doc! Like a big ass snake,”

“Y-You don’t mean… oh fuck… oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck,” The Dog began to pace around the room, the two grunts to his side looked at him in concern as did Cory and Hooper.

“What’s goin’ on?” Hooper shouted.

“What’s going on is that we’re gonna die here; that was the Leviathan,” Duni’s voice shrank to a size even smaller than before as the man continued to pace.

Hooper quirked an eyebrow. “SCP-169?”

“I suppose that’s what you jailers call it,”

“I thought the Serpent’s Hand wanted to harness the power of all anomalies, why don’t you-”

“Fucking what?” The dog, through the haze of fear still managed to sound genuinely offended. “How much bullshit have you been fed?”

RUMBLE

The rumbling of the ship made nearly everyone fall over alongside some boxes that Cory and Hooper quickly rolled out of the way of.

“It don’t matter right now if we all end up at the bottom of the Ocean, we gotta-”

RUMBLE

This was the last rumble, the last thing Cory remembered before everything went black.

Dude, it’s just about fun. I don’t agree that 2012 was abusive to Mikey but still, don’t be a dick. It’s just a shitty thing to do and there are people who write shut like that because it happened to them and they cope by doing it to their favorite characters. Leave it be if you don’t like it.

Summaries are there for you to see if you’ll like it. If you don’t, treat it like a fucking book and ignore it.

No!! No!! We were past this!! It’s was over!!! Fuck you!!! Fuck you!!! FUCK YOU!!! Stop, just stop!!! It was over, stop bringing this shit back!!!!

Polyarchives in s5 would be so funny, it'll be like the Anti christ and his three weed smoking partners who are way more murderous than he is

I LOVE THIS DKFIFBDJ

Jon: tired, has his partners all tied to kiddy leashes

Tim, Sasha, and Martin: all trying to deal with the fact that seeing Jon murder awoke something inside of them but are dealing with it by telling him to kill more people

Lmao. I’m doing this with Damian. Damian gets shot back in time after the Batfam dies. Damian, all of 5, decides ‘my family. Fuck you.’ and dips from the League.

Time travel AU where Dick travels back in time to a point where he's just starting out as Nightwing, and he spends exactly five seconds panicking about his situation before his brain latches to the single thought of MY BABIES!!

And so Dick speedruns adopting all of his siblings before Bruce can even see them once

jason todd unique second child privileges

I’ve looked back at old messages of me threatening to ‘castrate you and make you WISH you’d been born with a vagina’ to a friend and I was horrified because I had GENUINELY forgotten that he friend I was talking to was ftm… I showed him the old messages and he had laughed because he knows that I forgot that he didn’t HAVE a duck…

reading old messages is really fucked up because you see things and you’re like i would not fucking say that