Just Reposting To Save It When I Switch Devices Lol

Bruce: you are grounded.

Tim, feral grin in place as he stands calmly from his seat: you owe me for my time as Robin~

Bruce:… fair. Have fun.

Bruce, looking up from his paperwork: Tim, no. Tim:, setting down his coffee, grin growing, looking towards someone who's pissing him off: Tim, yes.

I fully believe that Tim just refused to go with them. I like to think that at least once Jack or Janet begged their son to go with them and Tim was like ‘lmao. No’

unpopular opinion: jack drake was a better father than bruce wayne and i wish there were more fics where the drakes are good parents tbh

Unless he’s watching over Arkham and making DAMN SURE the party isn’t being disturbed?

Duke not being at Damian's 13th birthday party is ooc and I will never stop grudging Truth & Justice for that.

So Jaskier, completely shitfaced, is sitting somewhere on the dirty floor near a tavern in Oxenfurt, when he meets Vesemir for the first time.

He instantly recognizes the old witcher and loudly calls him over, something along the lines of "Hey! Hey you- you, wolf! Papa wolf! Yeah, come on, I need to have a word with you about your son. The- the stupid one-"

Vesemir is obviously not amused, but he comes over nonetheless because for some reason that drunk kid knows him.

Then, Jaskier proceeds to ramble on about Geralt and it gets very close to trash talk, but Vesemir keeps his cool and reads in between the lines. What he finds out is this: Geralt - who up to this point had been his favorite - had somehow managed to break this poor kid's heart, not once, not twice but "at least five times". Said kid had apparently "spent more than half of his life" following his son like a lost puppy. He mumbles something about elves and djinns and then tells this elaborate tale of a golden dragon. "And then he left me on a fucking mountain!" Vesemir for his part would have not believed any of this, if the name Yennefer hadn't fallen. Many of the unreasonable things Geralt does are related to Yennefer.

The old witcher then takes a closer look at the sod on the floor and oh yes, didn't Geralt say something about a bard?

Then suddenly the kid stops mid sentence as if remembering something important. He waves at one of the other young men and loudly asks "Oi Mikael, is there- is there class tomorrow!?" Vesemir doesn't show it but he's kind of shocked. The drunk kid is clearly a student at the Academy, way too young to be traveling with a witcher. What ln earth is Geralt thinking?!

When the other man, for some reason looking as shocked as Vesemir feels, answers the kid's question with "yes", the bardling seems to sober up by a lot. He staggers up, wishes Vesemir a good night and starts to stumble towards Oxenfurt Academy, quickly followed by the other student.

The last thing Vesemir hears before they walk out of side is how the student asks the bard "Does that mean we won't have to write that test tomorrow, professor?"

Professor. Vesemir needs a break.

Prompt:

Instead of Dick or Tim, Red Hood straight up goes for kidnapping Bruce Wayne and keeping him hostage just to see how desperate the birds get in trying to find him.

It’s a foolproof plan. Batman won’t blow his cover unless absolutely necessary, and “Brucie” would never know how to slip away from a crime lord of Red Hood’s caliber. It’s foolproof. It’s perfect. Jason can keep dropping hints and make threats towards the birds and watch Bruce squirm without consequences if he plays this right.

But then “Brucie” keeps begging him not to hurt his kids…

Tim: the Bat didn’t write the Geneva Conventions.

Bart: in the future he finds out one of you used that excuse and had them re-written!

YJ throws mustard gas into a room full of baddies and one of them's like " Hey, What the fuck? that's against the geneva convention!" And tim goes "So? Do I look like Geneva? 🖕"

bruce would be fucking HILARIOUS in his idgaf era just imagine:

bruce: come home

jason: what? so you can throw me in--

bruce: no, just come home. i want you home, so come home.

jason: i'm not fallin for this shit!

bruce: i no longer care about all of *points between himself and jason* this mess. i want to go home, play monopoly with my kids and be mad about the lot of you cheating. that is what i want, so that is what will happen.

jason: you're being ridiculous.

bruce: frankly, i dont give a fuck. now, what piece do you want, the hat or the car?

jason:....

bruce:.....

jason: the car.

bruce: fantastic, be home in 10.

After Bruce gets lost in the time stream and comes back Tim throws out the “no kill rule.” For one person and one person only.

Ra’s is creepy, everyone k owns this but no one knows this more than Tim. The guys like an annoying mosquito that won’t die because he’s a pseudo immortal who either wants to adopt him or like…marry him into the family.

Either way, Tim leaves the assassins alone. Usually sends them back with a little bow or something. But whenever Ra’s shows up himself it’s on sight. Doesn’t matter if it’s in civilian form or vigilanti form. Ra’s is the only person Tim gives no shots about killing.

One time he was helping Jason with a case in Crime alley when Ra’s showed up. Without a word and barely looking up, he grabs the one gun Jason has that always has live rounds and shoots Ra’s in the head. He hit his shoulder cause the fucker is fast for a centuries old man, but he still forcefully dragged away by an assassin who is just used to this shit by now.

Tim was explaining something to Jason and barely missed a beat and Jason just keeps looking at his brother and where Ra’s had just been.

“The fuck?”

“I didn’t kill him this time and I told him to leave me alone this week.” That obviously not what Jason was asking about but still.

Somewhere in the cave or in Tim’s space is a kill count. Where he lists how many times he’s managed to kill, fatally injure, or injure Ra’s”

It’s a concern when the family finds it needless to say.

Jason: what? No!

Tim: why not? If B’s not here then I should be allowed to do things too.

Jason: wait-no- what?

Tim: We can't kill him! What would Batman say!

Jason: Batman's not here.

Tim: Excellent point, hand me the gun

Batplush