Saving For When Ao3 Returns.

Luke refuses to have a brain-to-mouth filter for the sheer fact if you try to come at him for his alarmingly high level of weird, dumbass, queer-coded sass, he can straight-up fucking juggle you in front of your peers.

Paz: *demonstrating his complete lack of knowledge on a subject*

Luke: I hope you’re attractive under that helmet because no one is going to marry you for your intelligence

Din, sweet, dearly beloved himbo: That man could roast me into oblivion on our wedding night and for every day after and I would thank him

AITAH?

For extra context, neither of us have actually dated anyone before so this was our first date.

I(female, teenager) have been talking with a boy in my class. He's nice, compliments me often, and has met my mom on our first date(she was chaperoning and he was pretty cool about it). He's a genuinely nice guy who seems to actually like me. However, he hasn't shown any interest in anything I haven't mentioned except for cars. He doesn't talk about his own interests, instantly shifts or derails his opinion to match mine, and only really answers questions that agree with things I've said. I'll be blunt and say that I'm a rather intelligent girl and that he's a little dull. I feel like he's shifting himself so that I like him more. I can see myself in a happy relationship with him but at the same time can only see myself dulling my intelligence to be more on his level. My mom has told me that he doesn't seem like he'll stimulate my brain in the way she knows I want and need. I don't know what to do because I like him but I feel like he's changing himself into someone I'd like more.

Barry is horrified and freaks out. He didn’t know that Shazam was BABY!

I was just thinking about how the Rogues, Len especially, don’t get enough recognition for having near Bruce Wayne levels of ‘Is anyone gonna adopt that?’ when it comes to kids.

Obviously it started with Wally after Barry’s disappearance. Len and Mick basically looked at him and went ‘Ope, Barry’s gone. I guess it’s up to us to raise him now.’ while Wally looks on, totally confused as these two former criminals show up at his house for barbecues and make sure his wiring gets done properly. He will spend the rest of his career being Kid to them, and probably gets noogied regularly.

The entire team adopts their tailor’s nephew and raise him, even before any of them tried to turn straight. Just this little bullied kid sitting on their laps, learning to cheat at poker, getting walked to and from school to make sure he doesn’t get beaten up.

When Owen shows up on the scene, Len knows that Lisa isn’t his mom, but he still goes straight in with his ‘Rogues are family’ speech and starts calling him Son and bragging that his boy’s got Speed.

I can just see Captain Marvel showing up in Central to help Flash with something, and every Rogue in the city just lifting their head and sniffing the air because ‘There’s a sad orphan out there somewhere who needs love and attention and to be called Champ.’ Next thing he knows, Billy’s got a new family fitting him for a cool new suit and making sure he gets into a good school and he’s not entirely sure how this is gonna go down with the League but that night Barry gets a three hour long lecture about letting a kid fight monsters which he can’t get out of because he’s frozen to a wall.

I think overall we are not fully utilizing Tim Drake's origin as a weird super hero fanboy/stalker for it's full comedic potential.

Jason talking about his Robin days: The look on that guy's face when he was beaten by child. I wish I had a picture.

Tim: I do.

Jason: You what?

Tim: have a picture.

Jason: ....

Tim: Would you like to see?

Jason:.... yes.

Dick over the phone: can you pick something up from Titans tower for me? I'm really busy. It's in the vault the password is ********.

Tim: You haven't changed it in 5 years? That's terrible security!

Dick: ...I didn't know you 5 years ago??

Tim: You also put the code in in plain view of the window. You should really pull the blinds down.

Dick: After you get that can you please get therapy?

Dc x dp prompt #43

Bruce was always telling Tim that he needed a new hobby, that photography and skateboarding weren’t keeping him from overworking enough.

So, to get back at Bruce for nagging so much, he decided he’d start studying magic. Only a week after he told Constantine that magic was banned from the manor and cave.

He already knew about magic, they studied anything that could be a threat. He never practiced it though.

It really only started out with a charm or two, something to soothe physical pain or to ward off malicious spirits, just a joke to get on B’s nerves.

But then Jason mentioned that the calming charm he made had actually worked on the pit rage, that while it didn’t take it away, Jason actually had control.

So it took off from there, he eventually learned how to cast simple spells and summon something called a “blob ghost”. He didn’t actually know how to send the little thing back, so it just followed him around like a lost puppy.

Ironically, it was that same blob ghost that was responsible for saving his life.

—

(Credit for the pose ref. goes to mellon_soup on TikTok and Patreon again.!)

🔄

world's last pseudo polycule consisting of God, a Spider in a human suit, and a very tired man, who'll stand between their loved ones and anything that'll want to do em harm with his shitty human axe

season 5 tim being the protector of their little group 😤💪

[apocalypse blues tag] (bonus a convo w/ @thefuturewithoutus bc tim being the protector is important to me)

the idea of jon reaching like top god status and tim still like, putting himself in between him and the people that might want to harm him plagues my mind..... peak excuse me he asked for no pickles but make it dramatic hgsgf .

all powerful jon and tim has like an axe but it's the intention that counts. let him believe that .

i think partly its jon letting him believe that for tim's sake, bc god he deserves to have Something, but also? tim bothering to do all that, to literally put a fight against some random monster they find on the road for him, it almost makes him feel like a human, perhaps (sidenote its even funnier in the small window of time where martin joined the party bc its like, literally God, a big fucking spider in a human suit, and Just A Guy with an axe, the latter being the main offense of the group sdfgdg) .

and i think tim's so protective at that point it'd be like a reflex to just put himself in between jon and danger Nevermind jon being all powerful he's their little attack dog .

he's filled with love and the leftovers of anger and he's lost everyone he loved at least once even if Some came back he WILL protect them damn it!!!!!!!!!!! .

tim recuperating from his season 3 persona and being funny again and loving but still having the burning rage and hatred he only takes out for the fears... love it

I want a Tim who chips his team, admits it to their faces, and then says that if they ever die he’ll drag them back kicking and screaming from hell.

Tim Drake is usually called the smart Robin which I like don't get me wrong but all of the bats are smart and I do love my Tim but my Tim is just a bit different.

I want Tim drake half out of his mind fucking with Lex Luthor while he chugs 6 monsters. I want baby stalker who was heavy breathing putting together a red string murder board at 3:00 am with very sketchy stalker pictures of the Wayne's.

I want titans tower where Tim knew it was Jason and is about to home alone that shit. While also internally fanboying and giving Jason tips on how to murder the joker.

Tim Drake who doesn't get disturbed by Ra on Tuesday cause he knows Tim has plans with young Justice and Tim will destroy all of his bases again if he is bothered.

Tim who thought Damian was adorable and everytime he makes an attempt on his life gets a new paint set because that is the Drake way and no little brother of his isn't gonna understand premeditated murder.

TIM Drake who owns up to the clones and the boy who Kon knows is a little murdery gremlin and loves that about his boyfriend.

My Tim drake need to be balls to the wall fucking insane or I don't want that shit.

AAHHHH!!! HIS HOME IS WHEREVER TAILS IS AT THAT MOMENT!!!!!

No one knows where Sonic lives.

Even in his so called world renowed hero status, there’s way too little that the general public knows about Sonic The Hedgehog, sure, they know what his favorite food is, they know the names of his friends, and they know when his birthday is, but they don’t know where is he from, how is he so fast, or what is his reason to fight.

They know about most of the times he has saved the world, but they don’t know why his shoes don’t get burned by his speed, they know he can turn into a god-like glowy golden being, but they don’t know how exactly the magical jewels that do that work, they know he’s unstoppable, but they don’t know why.

Most people don’t care that much about that kind of information, even if he’s a hero, that’s his own business, even heroes need privacy; but then there’s the curiosity, the enigma, the mystery, most of those questions will be left without a solid answer, but there’s a few that should have definitive one.

Where does someone who can run around the whole globe in a matter of hours live? There’s a lot of theories.

Sonic has enough fame to have several fan clubs all around the world, and between all those fan clubs there’s been a lingering interest in the enigma of where does sonic live, between all the other questions this one is the one that gets the most possible answers, considering factors like his speed, his well known crave for adventure, his love for nature, all of it could make the difference between the right answer and the wrong answer.

At certain point, the curiosity reaches to more general public apart from the fanatism prone, and when in opportunity to talk to him, a lot of people start asking him the same question: “where do you live?” the answers all equal and all different at the same time “right here in the same world as you” “it varies from time to time” “I don’t think you could visit me”

The vagueness, the confusing contradictions, the evasion of the subject; he’s doing this on purpose. They might not know a lot about the blue speedster, but now this sole data needs to be known.

They start asking Sonic’s acquaintances instead of the hedgehog himself, they know they’re not getting an answer out of him at this point, and if anyone could have one, his friends should know it. Turns out that they don’t know.

Most of his friends being more annoyed with the fact that not even they know where he lives than about the people sticking their noses to his friend’s business was a surprise to the masses, and underwhelming, backtracking, frustrating surprise.

There’s an anonymous user online who affirms that not even the hedgehog’s arch nemesis knows where Sonic lives. Reliable sources support the statement.

The waters of nonsense gossip calm down after some time, but the question still remains, left to be more of general curiosity than lingering mystery.

A random day in a random town, a news program happens to be live outside when the speedster passes by and stops to smell the flowers around the area, the reporters ask him for a small interview, he says they have till he finishes picking up enough flowers for a crown.

They ask the same question everyone has asked for quite some time, just a different word, “Sonic, where is your home?”

Apparently the accidental rephrasing change is what finally gets it, as the speedster just says “right now? should be at mystic ruins”

He runs off immediately, the reporters left speechless, the program still on air on TV’s and the web, and the world going wild.

They finally got a straight, solid, specific answer. “That can’t be true” “but it can” “it’s logical” “it’s not” “he must’ve been joking” “he sounded serious” and more and more discussions take place around that single interview, the fan clubs are theorizing again, the general public is now more curious, and the official news from all over the globe need to confirm this by themselves.

So they ask again.

A full week later, a different city in a different country, different news reporters don’t even bother to ask him for an interview, they just run to him the moment they see the blue blur pass by and ask him again “Sonic, where is your home?!” He yells his answer without stopping:

“Last time I checked was in Central City”.

“It’s a contradiction” “then he was joking before” “he might change where he lives weekly” “we need more proof” “that was way too specific again”.

A different continent, two days later, a group of kids manage to record him when he greets them from the other side of a mountain, they ask “Where is your home?!” He yells back “I’m not sure at the moment!”

The confusion only grows, now no one knows if he’s genuinely giving true answers or full ass lying, it would be logical for him to do either. The curiosity becomes a mystery again, and people are legitimately trying to track all the locations he has mentioned to find out what is this all about. Some people even try to track him down. They try.

A whole month later, there’s a celebration near sunset city, a commemoration of some sorts, there’s been a lot of battles in way too little time so people just try to think about the party rather than the motive for it. Sonic attends the celebration along some of his friends.

A local news channel manages to reach him at the chili dog stand where he is waiting for his food while talking to the two tailed fox everyone knows is his best friend. They don’t mean to interrupt, but these opportunities are limited.

They ask the same question, the same word change that they know works: “Sonic, where is your home?”

The blue blur hangs an arm around the kit’s shoulder in a half hug as he grins widely, he says loudly: “right now, it’s right here!”

This time his home was with him.

I really want an AU where Cody dies trying to kill Vader because he thinks Vader killed Obi-wan (he knows without a doubt that Obi-wan Kenobi High General of the Republic and Jedi Council Member did not die on Utapau after all) and wakes up on Melida/Daan just in time to save Obi-wan in a fight and have a minor breakdown when he realizes this tiny jedi cadet is his General and also bleeding.

He also absolutely refuses to let the kid leave without him. He’s seconds from trying to claim Mandalorian adoption rights if Jinn fights him on it but he also doesn’t actually know Mandalorian adoption rights outside of the fact that they exist so they’re definitely a Hail Mary he isn’t willing to try until last second. 

Jinn wants him to leave and the Council lets him stay because “they think he is a rock for Padawan Kenobi to rely on while they investigate what has occurred.” Cody of course takes this to mean he should just do whatever his now tiny General wants and it begins with training him in half-a-dozen different forms of hand to hand and also ensuring he can shoot with at least the accuracy Cody expected from shinies.