Pov: You're Going Insane.

limonite mud and stalactites

-J.F.

so hilarious to me how in 1x11 scarecrow everyone in the town is skeeved out by dean immediately. scottie, the couple at the diner, the professor. he just absolutely doesn’t know how to be normal. really puts into stark relief what a total creep dean comes off as without his little kitten brother to counterbalance his antisocial personality disorder <3

Ayo are there any shotgunning wincest/weecest fics on this fine 4/20? Because that sounds hot. Dean letting Sam take muted drags from his lips. Sam getting fuzzy headed and pliant and needy. Give it to me.

© light beyond the frame

so i was reading a bunch of star wars fanfic (i have not actually watched star wars yet. shh.) and ruminating about how clearly the Jedi teachings have a serious disconnect between what they ostensibly mean (as a perfectly stable space philosophy based on a perfectly stable nonspace philosphy) and how they are presented, definitely irl (i.e. a number of people being like NO ATTACHMENTS?! NO EMOTIONS?! HOW CAN YOU NOT CARE ABOUT WHAT YOU GOVERN?! HAVE YOU NO COMPASSION?! when i am given to know that is in fact strictly incorrect) and presumably also in-universe because i have a very limited view of what exactly happened in Anakin’s head during Everything but popular consensus seems to be that There Was A Disconnect. and also possibly he needed therapy he maybe didn’t get, and also possibly that since the Jedi didn’t usually take in older initiates, they were legitimately unprepared to raise someone with different fundamental foundational ideas, even notwithstanding his specific circumstances.

*anyway*

then i jumped to reading a youjo senki fanfiction where Tanya was doing the ‘i believe strongly in the intensely rational and try not to let myself be ruled by emotions because that’s foolish and inefficient, what do you mean i am not always self aware about that’ thing. (i have personal interpretations of Tanya but they’re neither here nor there for the purposes of this thought.)

and then i made the connection of hey, what if post-life-as-Tanya she got yeeted into star wars? i mean you could also do some neat things with Salaryman getting yeeted directly there without being in youjo senki proper first, idk, but the main point is just… what sort of Jedi would Tanya be? because like her thing about ah yes we must not let emotions rule us, rational behaviour is the only way forward, *is* in direct opposition of any YOU MUST USE EMOTIONS TO FUEL THE DARK SIDE or whatever is going on there, like, that shit is something Tanya would be explicitly philosophically opposed to. (especially if she doesn’t have to go full magical doping into combat.)

on the other hand Tanya is… her decisions do not make her seem like an ideal Jedi, to the untrained eye. also while i personally interpet her even as Salaryman to have been neuroatypical as heck and therefore (mood) having a somewhat nonaverage experience with how emotions work, i feel also like there are some that she probably does just… not unpack properly? like, in a way that impedes inner peace and self-understanding or something, idk. which i feel like would be a quiet albatross around any potential Jedi teachings she may or may not absorb?

like i said idk, but mostly it would be interesting to explore the idea of how Tanya would react to getting isekai’d again, now into Star Wars, maybe as a baby Jedi. even notwithstanding how you could use her to fuck up the entire plot of Star Wars in basically any way you see fit, her relationship with the philosophical structure would be interesting to explore. also there are many ways you could append Being X to that superstructure, or, like, unappend him, and I think that would be neat.

my top hobbies are shame and embarrassment but i also occasionally dabble in envy

In my mind, Dean always reminisces based on Sam's age. So, instead of saying "when I was 15", he would say "when Sammy/my brother was 11" and Sam doesn't notice. John doesn't notice. Meanwhile, all of Dean's dates notice because it is very very bizarre but they don't know how to point it out.

Eventually, Crowley picks up on it (after that summer camp with Dean) and he brings it up and you can see both brothers staring at him in confusion because:

Sam is convinced that can't possibly be the case and he tries to trace back some instances when Dean has referred based on his own age and comes up blank and then freaks out (and feels bad, because he's Sam)

Dean is fully aware he does this and he thinks it's the most normal thing in the world and doesn't understand why Crowley is pointing it out or why Sam is suddenly freaking out.

Crowley is so done with them both.

[I have an argument for believing this is the case. Dean is pretty much Sam's parent. Parents obviously talk about events based on their children's age (except when they are talking about events before the child was born). So on this essay....]

Ok but could you imagine if Adam ended up in John’s Dean’s care?

Sam would be about 12/13 and still looking like he’s 9 because he hit puberty late and Dean looking like he’s in his early 20s from all this trauma he gained as a child

Dean who just lost another 18 years of his life to play parent(s) to another one of John’s kids

Dean would be out one day with the two, Adam babbling on his hip as he holds Sam’s hand to cross the street and some lady coos and says he has cute kids

Dean stalling in the middle of the road before Sam whines about ice cream

He a father to a 5 year old toddler and a young teenager

egamii. graphite

Palpatine: come to the dark side side, Anakin, and I you will have immeasurable power!

Anakin, holds up a finger: Mmm, lemme check with Obi-wan…

Palpatine: Wha? No—

Anakin: Obi-wan said no. He also wants to know where you live?