Brought Absolute Tears To My Eyes

memories of midnight

summary || when Nick gets a hold of you, the encounter gets heated.

warnings || hate sex. dom! nick. dom/sub dynamics. bondage. unprotected sex. wall sex. missionary sex. spitting. petname (kitten). possessive nick. kidnapping. mentions of past encounters. pining. PWP. — MINORS DNI

I have decided to not do taglists anymore, so if you wished to be notified of my newest updates please follow @bonky-n-steeb-lib and turn on the notifications!

this is the first time I’ve written for him, I hope you like this! ;)

“What am I doing here?” You asked as you tried wiggling out of your bound hands. “Take a wild guess!” Nick smirked and you wanted nothing more than to wipe it off his face.

“You and that smart mouth of yours. I swear to god I’m gonna break it the moment I’m out of this!” You tried twisting the rope on your hands, but it was a little too tight.

“Oh kitten, we both know you’d much rather kiss me.” His voice was suddenly deep with lust and it was clear that he was loving every second that you struggled in the ropes.

“Do not fucking call me that!” You shouted as you tried getting up on the fluffy bed. You weren’t exactly where you’d expected to wake up after getting kidnapped.

It was a luxurious hotel room rather than a dilapidated basement. And your kidnapper was none other than your old friend and colleague, Nick Fowler.

You were on an undercover mission tonight and had consumed a drink not realising it was laced with sleeping pills. Because the next thing you remembered was being in this posh bed with your hands tied.

“Awww.. there’s no need to pretend here. I know how much you loved that name as you bounced on my cock.” You clenched your jaw as memories of your past flashed through your head.

Even though it was highly forbidden and would’ve risked your careers, you and Nick had fucked in the past, more than once. You had even started liking him, but he went rogue.

“Okay. What do you want?” You asked in a business like tone. He had kidnapped you meant that he wanted something, most probably information. “What I want is… you.”

You were taken aback for a moment before shaking yourself and coming back in the moment. “What?” You asked in a bewildered tone.

He walked closer to you and you were too lost in his blue eyes to react anything. He traced your cheek with his pointer finger and bent down to whisper in your ear, “I said, I want you.”

You blinked up at him for a moment before sucking your head forward with force. You were just about to crunch his nose, but he was just as quick as you, if not more.

He quickly blocked out your blow with his hands just in time. He pushed you behind until your back hit the wall and he held you there with his body.

Taking your bound hands, he held them above your face while his other hand curled around your neck slightly choking you.

“You should be thankful to me. I fucking saved your life.” Your eyes went to his lips for a moment before looking straight into his eyes. You knew you shouldn’t be turned on at the moment, but you couldn’t help aroused.

The dominance he was radiating was making you wet between your legs and damn, he was looking absolutely ravishing in the blue suit he was wearing.

“What do you mean?” You gritted your teeth as you asked. Though you knew you’d lost the war, you weren’t going to lose the battle.

“If anyone else would’ve found you, you’d be dead by now. But I’m giving you another chance. Join me!” There was just something about his eyes that you couldn’t look away.

But what caught you off guard was the need burning in this eyes. He was desperate. You were pretty sure you could feel his hard cock nudging you at this point, at least you weren’t alone.

“I’m never going to join you, you fucking traitor!” You nearly spat in his face and his grip on your hands and throat tightened. You whimpered at the increase in the pressure, and you knew you’d lost this too.

“You like this, don’t you? You love the way I take control, but don’t worry kitten, I won’t harm you.” You were already a squirming mess by the time he kissed you.

You stilled with shock the moment his lips crashed upon yours. Nick fucked his tongue into your open mouth before you started kissing him back.

You wanted him. No one else made you feel the way he did. You couldn’t point out what it was about him, but just knew Nick was made to ruin you.

You were kissing each other as if you hated each other and at the same time you couldn’t live without each other. And this feeling was more addictive than any drug.

You whimpered in nick’s mouth as his hand left your hands and directly cupped your core. He rubbed you through your jeans and you tried grinding down as much as you could.

“You want this so bad. Like a fucking kitten in heat. No one else does it like me, isn’t it? You need me!” His words were making you shake with need.

“Say it!” He demanded when you stayed silent. “I… I need you Nick. Please!” He smiled as you finally gave in. “That’s my good girl.”

The very next minute, he was tearing your clothes. He squeezed and warmed every inch of your precious body revealed your him.

“You’re so wet for me. I didn’t take you for such a filthy little kitten that would be such a slut.” He took you by surprised when he quickly turned your around.

Your face pressed into the wall and as you tried pushing back, Nick’s body was pressed back into you. You could feel his hands open his belt and trousers.

You hissed with surprise as he laid a spank on your ass before pressing his thick cock between your folds. He rubbed it around, gathering wetness before pushing the head in.

You rested your head on the cold wall as you felt him fill you up thick inch by inch. He was much gentler than you’d expected him to be tonight.

“We could have this everyday. Just think about it.” He whispered in your ear when you moaned as he bottomed out. “If you think I’m going to give up my job because of your dick, then boy, you’re so wrong.”

The very next second, his hand was back on your throat as he started ramming up into you. All his previous gentle tone gone as he thrusted up into you hard.

“You know I love it when you bite, kitten…” the room was filled with the sound of your panting and the sound of skin slapping. “… because then I get to tame it out of you.”

His hand slightly squeezed your throat and your mouth fell open into the dirty ‘o’ face. Nick nipped at your earlobe and neck while muttering pure filth into your ear.

He inserted two of his fingers into your pliant mouth. But you decided to be a little more bratty and sunk your teeth into them, not hard enough to hurt just enough to make him realise that you could bite.

You whined as he pulled out his cock and your pussy clenched on air. You tried chasing the friction with your hips and tsked at the gesture. “Such a desperate needy kitten.”

Picking you up, he laid you down on your back on the floor. The fine carpet dug into back, but you didn’t care. He was still very much dressed in his suit and you were getting off on the power imbalance.

“You’ve forgotten your place kitten.” This time, he entered you in a single hard stroke and you choked on your spit.

“Gotta show you who you belong to.” His hand once again found your neck and you arched to give him a better hold. “Look at that. Submitting to me just as you should.”

He squeezed your jaw and you opened it obediently. He spit into your open mouth and you stared at him with wide eyes. “Swallow.” And swallow you did.

His hips were rocking into yours just right and his cock was hitting all the perfect spots. Your looped up your tied hands around his neck and pulled him in for a kiss.

He kissed you like a thirsty man finding an oasis. It was wet and deep and it felt much different than anything you had shared before. It felt real.

“Nick…” you were close now and all you needed was a little push, you just didn’t know what. “Come with me!” He whispered to you like a sacred text on a dark night. “I’ll give you everything.”

Suddenly, you wanted to join him. You wanted to be with him and only him, no one else. No other thing mattered in your life at that very second except him.

But you didn’t say anything. You knew somewhere in your mind that you’d regret everything you’d say now. So you just laid back and took it as he pounded into you.

Nick looked at you with longing and want. It was as if he knew only you could complete him, and it was the same the other way around. But then he said the word you never thought he’d say. “Please…”

That small please out of his mouth was all that you needed to tip over the edge of pleasure. You writhed beneath him as you came harder than you ever had before.

That please was almost like a love confession and you knew you weren’t going to forget it, ever. You weren’t just his, he was yours too.

Nick came soon after you as he felt your walls gripping him tight. His hips snapped up into you in a frenzy before he came deep inside you.

Neither of you moved from your place even after you both came down from the high. You stared into his eyes as he idly tangled his fingers in your hair.

You were at an odd sort of peace and in the warm embrace of Nick’s arms, you didn’t realise when you fell asleep.

~~~

Nick yawned as he got up from his sleep. He had slept better than he had in a long time as he slept with the knowledge that you are wrapped up in his arms. Or were.

Because when he opened his eyes, you were nowhere in the room. The bed was still warm and your scent was still in the air, that meant you hadn’t gone far.

He smiled to himself as he recalled the last night. He could see it on your face as you considered joining him for a minute. And that was all he needed.

He knew the thought would ruminate in your head and soon it would be the only thing you thought of. And the next time he had you, you would he his.

#Thunderbolts

Nose scrunch ála Sebastian

BUCKY BARNES BEING A SNACK™ IN THAT T-SHIRT THE FALCON AND THE WINTER SOLDIER (2021)

MCU cast incorrect |87|

From today’s Gold Derby exclusive interview Link: https://youtu.be/PPBWgvvBK98

RIP Matthew Perry

No one else could’ve played Chandler Bing🩵

Honey Girl.

Synopsis - The Universe shows you your soulmate when it feels like you need them most. When you least expect it, you're given yours - Bucky Barnes. Your Dad's best friend. You can try to refuse it all you like; but the Universe wants what it wants. There's no denying fate.

Pairing - Dad'sBestFriend!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader - soulmate au

Age Rating - 18+

Word Count - 5.1k

Warnings - cursing. sexual content towards the end. mild alcohol consumption. age gap. smut in next chapter(s).

Author's Note - it's finally here!! thank you so much to everyone who asked to be tagged, and who liked and reblogged the masterlist. i am SO excited to share this with you. i've built this world in my head and trust me it is gorgeous - salty ocean breezes, sunsoaked sailboats and billowing white linen shirts. i hope you can lose yourself in my little seaside town with bucky for the time it takes you to read this, just as i did while writing it.

as always, reblogs, comments and feedback (even anonymous feedback!) are immensely appreciated!! your reblogs are the only way to circulate my fics, which keeps me going <3

Masterlist. Requests. Series Masterlist.

Tethering /tɛð(ə)rɪŋ/

An event in which two soulmates are bound together forever. Only occurs when the Universe decides it is time. No sooner, no later.

✵  ✵    ·　 ✵ 　　 *  · ✵

The gentle ocean breeze gives you a moment of respite from the scorching sun that's beating down. You're half asleep, laying on the cool tile of your balcony when your phone rings.

"Babe! Babe! Babe!"

"Lacie? Are you okay? What's wrong?"

"I am freaking out right now, oh my god. I didn't know who to call. You'll never guess what just happened to me!"

You can guess. In fact, you already have.

Lacie's Tethering. It's finally happened.

You're taught, growing up, that your Tethering is the biggest moment of your life. It shapes who you are forever. Sets you on your eternal path. You're presented with your soulmate in a big display of love and affection and metaphorical fireworks. It's supposed to be magical.

You wish people would shut up about it.

The World seems to be split into two categories - the people that have been Tethered, and the people that haven't.

You fall into the latter.

You're repeatedly told it'll happen one day. It'll happen when the time is right. It'll happen when you least expect it.

You're not sure you ever want it to happen.

The idea that the Universe determines the person you're with forever has never sat right with you. What happened to free will? What happened to personal preference? You believe you should at least have a choice in the matter. It's your future, after all.

Not everyone shares the same sentiment.

"Babe, you still there?"

Lacie's excitement filled voice pulls you back to reality.

"Yeah, I'm here."

"Are you busy? Can you meet me for coffee, like, now?"

You take a deep breath and plaster a fake smile on your face.

"Sure. I'll see you in ten."

✵  ✵    ·　 ✵ 　　 *  · ✵

"Oh my god babe, it was just incredible! You won't even believe it. There's nothing like it, truly."

You remind yourself quickly that Lacie is your best friend, and that you owe it to her to be happy for her. Personal feelings about soulmates aside.

"Tell me all about it, Lace!" you encourage, grabbing a hold of her hand excitedly.

The blonde girl squeals before shuffling closer to you, pressing her knees against yours.

"Okay, so. Picture this. I'm at my gym, doing my usual routine. I'm wearing my super cute pink Lulu Lemon set, you know the one with the flowers?"

She waits for you to nod in affirmation before she continues.

"So, I accidentally drop a weight on the ground, and it makes the biggest noise. I'm super embarrassed, and I'm trying to pick it up, but it's so heavy. And then, the hottest guy I have ever seen appears. Like, seriously gorgeous."

As much as you despise the whole soulmate thing, you can't deny how happy Lacie seems. She's almost vibrating with it, bouncing up and down in her seat.

"He comes over and picks it up for me, sets in back on the rack. And then he introduces himself, and shakes my hand, and it happened."

"What was it like?" you smile, eager for her to carry on.

"Like fucking magic."

You've heard that before. A million times. From literally everyone. Surely it can't be that magical if billions of people have experienced it.

"Magic?" you prompt.

"It is indescribable, babe. It's like... it's like everything just falls into place. Like everything finally makes sense!"

She jumps out of her chair, hugging you tightly. She's practically sat on your lap in the coffee shop, but neither of you really care.

"So, what's his name? What's he like?"

"His name is Cameron. He's new in town, he just moved here for work. He's a personal trainer, so he's like, super fit. And gorgeous. Did I mention gorgeous?"

"Maybe once or twice," you laugh.

"I'm so happy," Lacie whispers, emotion choking her voice. "I can't believe it finally happened. This is the day I've been waiting for since I was a little girl."

You hug her tighter, and ignore the look you get from the barista.

"I love you," she declares, suddenly serious. "You know that me being Tethered now doesn't change that, right?"

"I know," you confirm. "I love you too, Lace. I'm really happy for you."

You genuinely mean it. Lacie has talked about meeting her soulmate every day since you met her in the 3rd grade. You may have never quite shared her enthusiasm, but you admire her passion. And you adore her, more than anyone.

"So, what now? Are you gonna get married tomorrow and run off into the sunset?"

"I'm choosing to ignore your sarcasm because I know you're using it as a coping mechanism," she tells you pointedly. "And I know that there's a tiny part of you that wishes you'd been Tethered already, so you don't have to deal with everyone talking to you about it."

Jackpot. She's read you like a book.

"No, we're not getting married tomorrow," she rolls her eyes before continuing, "but we are going on a real date tonight. We're gonna get dinner and get to know each other. Isn't this crazy? I'm going on a date with the guy I'm gonna to be spending the rest of my life with!"

"That is kinda crazy, actually," you laugh. "What are you gonna wear?"

"It doesn't matter - we're going to be together forever anyway!"

You make Lacie promise to send you a picture of her outfit as you're leaving the coffee shop, which she agrees to with glee. On your way home, you pick up some of your Mom's favourite wine, and prepare yourself for another soulmate based conversation that will inevitably happen when you tell your parents the events of the day at dinner tonight.

✵  ✵    ·　 ✵ 　　 *  · ✵

"Hi, sweetheart!" your Dad beams as you step through the front door of your childhood home.

"Hey, Dad," you greet, allowing him to pull you in for a hug. "Where's Mom? I brought wine."

"Kitchen," he gestures with a nod of his head. "She's making that mango dessert you like."

Walking into your Mother's kitchen is like dipping your feet into a pool on a scorching hot day. The windows are propped open, curtains billowing softly in the wind. The ocean breeze drifts through the room, ruffling your Mom's dress and floating the hair away from her face. The evening sun beams in, illuminating the space with a golden glow. It smells like fresh fruit, mint, and salt water. It's a haven.

"Hi, Mama."

"Oh, my love! Just in time. I was about to call you to see if you were alright."

She makes her way over to you and kisses you on the head swiftly, before walking to the cabinet to grab wine glasses.

"Sorry I'm a little later than I said. I changed my outfit three times - it's warmer than I thought it was going to be."

"I know! Summer, finally. We've been waiting long enough."

She takes the bottle of wine from your hand and pours it into the glasses.

"You've poured four, Mama."

"Didn't your Dad tell you? Bucky's joining us for dinner."

"Oh. No, he didn't mention anything."

"He's back from his vacation. He promised he'd show us all of the pictures he took!"

She grabs the glasses and floats out of the room, leaving you alone in the kitchen, thoughts of Bucky Barnes swirling around like dust in the sunlight.

✵  ✵    ·　 ✵ 　　 *  · ✵

James Buchanan Barnes. Bucky.

Your Dad's best friend.

They met a few years ago, when Bucky moved to town. He said he was looking for something quieter, sick of city living. He wanted to slow down a bit, finally take a breath.

He was out for a run around town, getting his bearings, when he stopped your Dad on the driveway to ask about his car. They bonded over their love for motorcycles and vintage vehicles, and the rest is history.

Bucky's been a regular fixture in your life for so long, you can't remember a time before. All you know, is that it was probably a little more peaceful. His boyish charm is infectious, bringing out the youth in your Dad. They're like teenagers, when they're together. Long lost frat brothers, your Mom jokes.

She's got a soft spot for him. Most people do. It might have something to do with the fact he's devastatingly handsome.

It's no secret that Bucky Barnes is a ladies man. He is without even trying. He's charming, gorgeous, funny in all the right ways. He's mysterious, but not disarming. Tough, but not scary. Rebellious, but not a liability. He's a catch.

A catch, with a taste for beautiful women.

Your Dad always jokes that he's the towns most eligible bachelor. You can't count on two hands the amount of women you know that have dated him - but nothing seems to stick. He isn't Tethered, after all.

Some people choose not to date, if they haven't met their soulmate. They wait and wait, and when the time comes, they're complete. Others take pleasure in dating before it happens. Might as well make the most of the freedom, Bucky said once. You can't help but agree.

Might as well make the most of the freedom.

✵  ✵    ·　 ✵ 　　 *  · ✵

"Hey, buddy!" you hear from the hallway. You make your way out of the kitchen to be met with the sight of Bucky, sun-kissed and practically glowing. His hair has a few light streaks from the sun, and the faint freckles on his cheeks are more prominent now. His steel blue eyes meet yours, mischief rife in them.

"Hi, honey," he greets, draping an arm around your shoulders. He kisses you on the cheek, light stubble scratching your skin. You throw an arm around his back and look up at him.

"There's no way this tan is natural," you tease, nudging him slightly.

"It makes me even more gorgeous, doesn't it?" he jokes, winking at you. He squeezes your shoulder before letting go, grabbing a bottle of wine from his bag.

"I brought your favourite, Lori."

"So did I," you echo, laughing.

"Great minds, honey. Great minds!"

"You can never have too much wine," your Mom yells out from the kitchen doorway. "Bring it in here, Buck. I'll put it in the refrigerator."

"Yes ma'am," he obliges, making his way to her with a smile on his face.

✵  ✵    ·　 ✵ 　　 *  · ✵

"Guess what happened today," you begin, in between bites of your strawberry salad.

The three of them look at you intently, urging you to continue.

"Lacie got Tethered."

"How exciting!" your Mom squeals.

"That's a long time coming," Bucky chimes in. You look at him and smirk.

"Tell me about it."

"Here we go," your Dad smiles. "Our two anti soulmate protestors."

"Don't make it sound so political," Bucky laughs. "She's the only one that gets it."

"I've said it a thousand times, and I'll say it again. Just. You. Wait," your Mom lectures. "The two of you don't get it."

"Magic, fireworks, eternal love, blah blah blah. Trust me, I get it."

"She gets it," Bucky echoes. "And so do I. The Universe decides our fate, and we get no choice whatsoever. I don't believe in it, is all. I have no faith in the system. I should get to choose."

"But you feel like you are choosing," your Dad defends. "It didn't feel like it was being determined for me. It's hard to explain."

"It's just so... backwards," you justify. "I can't believe we live in a Universe where we have all the choices in the world, but don't get to choose the person we spend the rest of our lives with."

"It's worked out pretty well for us," your Mom smiles.

And it has. The first thing anyone notices when they meet your parents is that they are undeniably in love. You've never met two people more perfect for each other - which should solidify your belief in the Universe, really. But it doesn't. You can't explain where your lack of faith in it came from. It just appeared one day, and you haven't been able to shake it since. You're grateful every day to have two Tethered, happy, smitten parents. You've seen how hard it is for people with Untethered Mothers and Fathers. The judgment, the uncertainty, the hushed whispers. It sounds unbearable.

"Yes it did," your Dad confirms, shaking you from your thoughts. He reaches for your Mom's hand and kisses the back of it tenderly, eyes never once leaving hers. You look to Bucky next to you, who smiles at you gently. Feelings about soulmates aside, the both of you love these two people sat across the table with all your heart.

"Trust me, sweetheart," your Mom begins. "I know you're against the idea now - God knows I was the same at your age. But when it happens, you'll forget about all of your rebellion. You'll just be happy."

You nod in agreement, praying for the conversation to be over. As if he can read your mind, Bucky pipes up.

"Let me show you some pictures from Italy. I did promise I would."

You shoot him a grateful look before picking up your empty wine glass and making your way to the kitchen for a refill.

✵  ✵    ·　 ✵ 　　 *  · ✵

The dining room is now lit solely by candlelight, wax dripping onto the white lace tablecloth like condensation on a cold glass. The sun fell asleep hours ago, the four of you enjoying each others company with no regard for time.

"Oh, shit. It's late," your Dad says suddenly.

"You got big late night plans?" you tease.

"We have Clara and Mike's wedding at the weekend, so we're flying out tomorrow. We should probably get some sleep, so we're not exhausted."

Your Mom rises from her chair and kisses you on the head, before grabbing the dessert bowls from the table. Your Dad helps, smiling every time his hand brushes hers accidentally.

"Thanks for coming, kiddo. Your place next week?"

"Of course. I think I'll try that salmon recipe you sent me."

"Can't wait," your Dad assures you, giving you a one sided hug. He squeezes you once before letting you go to grab your shoes.

You can hear your parents saying their goodbyes to Bucky as you tie your laces, smoothing out the skirt of your dress as you stand. They all join you in the hallway, Bucky leaning over to grab his jacket from behind you. Fuck, he smells good.

"Have a great time at the wedding, you guys. Send me pictures, please!" you say as you hug your Mom goodbye.

"We will! Drive home safe, the both of you!"

They shut the door softly, leaving you and Bucky stood on the porch. The evening air chills your bare legs, salt in the breeze sticking to your lips.

"Where's your car?" he asks, looking around.

"Oh, I walked. It was a nice day, and I'm trying to be a little greener. Save the planet, and all," you chuckle.

"You want a ride, then?" he offers, leaning against the side of his truck.

"Uh - maybe," you hesitate, shifting your weight from foot to foot. You feel antsy, for some reason. There's a buzz flowing through your veins, making you a little restless.

"Maybe?" he smirks.

"I just, I'm not sure if I wanna go home yet. It might be that I've had three glasses of wine, but I'm kinda... jittery? Think I need to burn off some energy. Maybe I'll walk home."

"Like hell you will," he grumbles.

You quirk a brow in confusion.

"It's dark, and all those college kids are in town on their break. I don't trust 'em."

You fight to keep the grin off your face. You weirdly like it when Bucky gets protective. He's always so calm, so relaxed - it takes a lot to rile him up. He looks hot with a clenched jaw.

"Why don't we go somewhere?"

"Where?" you ask tentatively.

"I don't know," he thinks for a second. "How about the beach?"

You smile, gazing at him with a twinkle in your eyes.

"I fucking love the beach."

✵  ✵    ·　 ✵ 　　 *  · ✵

The ocean waves break the shore steadily, the repetitive pattern calming you both. You're sat on the sand, grains slipping through your hands where you're pouring it out through your fingers. The light of the moon reflects off the surface of the sea, illuminating the abandoned cove. It's just you, Bucky, and the night sky.

The alcohol in your system has evened you out, warm buzz keeping you sheltered from the chill. Bucky's stretched out next to you, strong arms folded underneath his head. His shirt rides up slightly, exposing a slither of sun kissed skin. You pretend not to notice his Adonis belt, or the little trail of hair that leads down into his waistband.

The silence is easy, comfortable. You don't get to hang out like this often, just the two of you. It's nice.

A notification on your phone breaks through the tranquility. You both flinch.

"Sorry," you mutter, checking the screen. "It's Lacie, telling me about her perfect date."

He chuckles lowly at your tone, sitting up to look at you.

"This is hard for you, isn't it?" he asks. "You hate the whole soulmate thing, but you like seeing her happy."

Bingo. It's like he's read your mind.

"I don't know why I hate it so much" you confess quietly. "It's a part of life. I can't avoid it. I just think - what if... what if I'm like, the exception, or something? What if I never meet my soulmate - or - what if I meet them when I'm like, seventy? That happens, you know! And then I'll be fucking cursed to spend my entire life feeling like this."

"And what is this?"

"Hopeless. That's what this is. I just feel pretty fucking hopeless."

You're not sure why you're baring your soul to Bucky tonight. You could blame the wine, but you know that's not what it is. Maybe it's because he seems to be the only one that understands.

"Me too," he whispers.

You whip your head around to stare at him in shock. He laughs at the look on your face, and continues.

"You're young - you have time. I'm forty in a couple of years. Every single one of my friends is married to their soulmate - except for me."

You bite at your lip nervously, but refuse to tear your eyes away from his steel blue ones. His face is lit by the glow from the moon, and it takes your breath away for a second. He looks almost ethereal.

"You always act so... unbothered. I didn't realise... I guess I just, I didn't -" you try to gather your thoughts before continuing. "This fucking sucks, huh?"

He laughs with his whole chest, and you're convinced the sound is so special, so rare, that you should bottle it. Sell it as medicine. It'd cure anything, you're sure of it.

"Yeah, it does," he agrees with a chuckle. "It's the waiting around that's the worst part. The unknown. It could be minutes, it could be decades. I just don't know."

"At least for now, we have each other," you joke.

"Every cloud has a silver lining, huh?" he teases, nudging you with his shoulder.

You allow your weight to press into his side a little, leaning in. He's warm, and he's familiar, and in this moment, he understands you better than anyone else in the world.

"We'll be okay, honey," he murmurs. "It'll all work out the way it's supposed to."

You close your eyes, and allow his words and the breaking waves to calm your nerves. Bucky wraps an arm around you, and all the tension melts from your muscles.

✵  ✵    ·　 ✵ 　　 *  · ✵

You're not sure if it's the honest conversation, or the brisk ocean breeze, but you've sobered up in record time. Your body registers this, and sends a shiver down your spine.

"You cold?" Bucky asks you. "You wanna go home?"

"Not yet," you whisper. "Not yet."

He shrugs off his worn brown leather jacket and slips it over your shoulders. It smells so strongly of him that it makes you dizzy. Bucky settles back down in his original place, returning his arm to where it was draped over you. His rough fingertips rub patterns into the material that now covers your arms, and you wish, for a fleeting moment, that it was your bare skin instead.

"You been working on anything new recently?" he enquires in a hushed tone, careful not to ruin the atmosphere.

"I made a damn good batch of macarons yesterday," you reply, beaming smile etched across your face. "Raspberry and lemon. I'll bring you some, next time I pass the Garage. You're gonna love them."

"You know, I think the only reason I ever get Mechanic of the Month is because you bring by all of your sweet treats."

You laugh melodiously, and the sound makes Bucky's heart stutter in his chest without warning.

"Happy to be of service," you tease. "I take requests, too, if you ever want something specific. Just let me know."

"You're the best, sugar."

You sink into Bucky's hold a little, daring to rest your head on his shoulder. When he doesn't stop you, you exhale, and relax even more.

"Are you working tomorrow?" he asks.

"Nope. You?"

"Nah. I'm going sailing, finally. It's been way too fuckin' long," he grumbles. "Your Dad's usually my right hand man, but he'll be in Ohio. You wanna come?"

The idea of laying on the deck of a boat in the blazing sunshine with a shirtless Bucky Barnes sounds like heaven. Who could say no to an offer like that?

"Yeah, of course. I'll bring a picnic, if you like. It's the least I can do."

"Sounds perfect," he replies, squeezing your shoulder.

Suddenly, he rises to his feet, extending a hand out to you. You grab it, and he pulls you up, the both of you shaking sand off yourselves.

"It's late, and dark, and a little cold. You ready to go?"

You nod your head, and make your way over to his truck, ignoring the heat that blooms over your chest when he opens the passenger door for you before his own.

✵  ✵    ·　 ✵ 　　 *  · ✵

"Thank you, for tonight," you say as he pulls up in front of your apartment building.

"Thank you," he replies, killing the engine. "It's nice to have you back, you know. Wondered if you were gonna finish college and stay out there in California. Thought we might not see you again."

He almost sounds... relieved. The idea that he might have missed you if you didn't return effects you more than it should.

"I liked it there, but... I don't know. My family's here. I'm only twenty three. I've got time to move around the country. I missed this place too much when I was away."

"Never thought I'd hear you say that," he chuckles.

"I know, trust me. They do say absence makes the heart grow fonder."

"Yeah, they say a lot of fuckin' things," he jokes.

Bucky swings his door open, hopping down from the drivers seat. He makes his way over to your side, holding out a hand so you can jump out.

"Careful," he warns. "It's higher than it looks."

You grab his hand, and step onto the metal sill. Your foot slips slightly, sending you tumbling down and forward, out of the truck. Luckily, Bucky catches you, one hand in yours, other on your hip.

"Woah, easy. You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm good," you breathe.

He places his hands on your cheeks and cradles your face, searching for any signs of distress. You place your palms over his, silently reassuring him.

And then, it happens.

Warm, golden, molten electricity surges through your veins, lighting up each and every one of your nerve endings. Your surroundings explode into glorious technicolour, everything suddenly brighter and more vibrant. It feels like your heart is being ripped out of your chest, only to be replaced by one that beats in a slightly different rhythm. There's flowers blooming in your ribcage, new life happening inside of you. You catch eyes with Bucky, expecting to see his stormy blue ones looking back at you. Instead, all you see is your future.

Vivid, flashing images of Bucky Barnes fill your mind, each one of them tinted with a warm, rosy hue. You feel like you're being reinvented. Your skin is alive, hyperaware of the way Bucky's palms are still gently cupping your cheeks. Your fingertips tingle with anticipation where they rest on his, itching to touch every inch of him. You feel as if the oxygen has been stolen from your lungs, and replaced with love.

Your knees are the first to buckle, the weight of the moment taking you down. You hit the ground, and so does Bucky, his palms not once leaving your face. You're both kneeling on the warm concrete, ocean waves providing a distant soundtrack. Blood is rushing in your ears, and you wonder for a second if you're about to pass out. You squeeze Bucky's hands so hard, it's a miracle you don't break his fingers. He squeezes back, eyes locked on one another.

After what feels like an eternity, you both break out of your reverie. You lean forward, resting your forehead against Bucky's, both of you panting.

You're trying to catch your breath unsuccessfully. You move one of your hands to rest on Bucky's chest, right on his heart. You swear the steady beat of it spells out your name.

He mirrors you, and moves his own hand to rest above your frantic heart, the other still glued to your cheek. You both breathe, in and out, trying to match each other. When you finally do, it's as if time stops. It's just you and Bucky. One heartbeat. One soul.

You break away from him to look into his eyes again. They look different, you think. He looks different.

He gazes back at you, cheeks flushed and chest heaving. The moonlight dances off your faces, illuminating the moment both your lives changed forever.

"It's you," he breathes in disbelief.

A laugh escapes your chest, surprising you both. He chuckles with you, and before you know it, the both of you are in hysterics, sitting on the sidewalk at three in the morning.

"Of course it's me," you giggle. "The two people that hate soulmates, Tethered together. You couldn't write it."

Bucky grins at you, clutching at his stomach.

You both take a breath, and realise your surroundings. Bucky gets up first, heaving you up by your arms. He towers over you, suddenly close. Not close enough, you decide. Never close enough.

You lurge forward and crash your lips to his. Bucky instinctively wraps one arm around your back, moving his other hand to hold you by the back of your neck. He tastes like salt and spearmint and every kiss for the rest of your life.

Bucky presses himself into you, attempting to tangle your bodies together. He wants to feel every inch of you against his skin, willing you to come closer. He aches to climb into you, sew himself into your ribcage. He'd be content to live there, beating your heart, forever.

You whine, and he takes the opportunity to slip his tongue into your mouth, exploring eagerly. You tilt your head back, and fist your hands into his shirt, plastering yourself to his front. He shoves his thigh in between your legs, the rough denim a welcome contrast to your soft skin. You buck your hips forward, and the friction is so delicious it makes you dizzy. You've never been kissed like this. It's almost feral. You're both surrendering to your fates, giving in to the animalistic urges coursing through you.

A seagull caws on a nearby street lamp, and the sound makes you both jump. You suddenly realise your scenario. Your dad's best friend, who also happens to be your soulmate, has you pressed against his truck in the street, kissing you like he's running out of air and you're his only oxygen source. If it goes any further, you'll both get arrested for public indecency.

"Fuck, sugar," he murmurs against your mouth. "My pretty girl. My honey."

"My soulmate," you whisper.

The reality of it comes crashing down like a tsunami, drenching the both of you.

Bucky kisses you again, gentler this time. The tenderness makes you want to cry.

"What do we do now?" you mumble, fear coating your voice.

He senses your trepidation instantly. He feels it, actually, right in the front of his chest. It's like you suddenly share one body. There's no guessing, anymore. He knows exactly how you feel.

He takes a deep breath, trying to settle his building anxiety. He knows that if he stays calm, you'll stay calm. That's how Tethering works, right? He has to keep it together for the both of you, despite the panic that's rising in him, vibrating in his bones.

"How about... how about we both go to bed, get some sleep - and then we go sailing, later on today, just like we planned? And no matter what, we take everything one step at a time."

"One step at a time," you repeat, attempting to pacify you both.

"We'll figure it out," he reassures. "I know we will."

You find the will to step apart, which proves harder than you thought. It's like Bucky's an anchor - fastening you to peace, to happiness, to serenity. The more distance you put between your bodies, the more unsettled you feel. When you're not touching him, it's as if everything becomes unsteady, more difficult. You feel like you're on a rogue sailboat, battling the waves, threatened to be thrown overboard. Bucky is your lifevest, your lighthouse in the dark night. You're not sure how you're supposed to live your life any more than two feet away from him at all times.

You breathe, and smooth down your dress, running your fingers through your hair. You reach out and adjust Bucky's shirt where it's been wrinkled due to your tight grip.

"Goodnight, sweetheart," he murmurs, fingers tangling around your own.

"Goodnight, Buck," you echo.

He leans in to press a chaste kiss to your lips, savouring the taste of your cherry lip balm. He wraps his arms around you, unable to resist. Bucky breathes you in deeply, smiling uncontrollably. Nudging your nose with his, he murmurs gently against your mouth.

"My honey girl."

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Did it Ever Really Matter? (3/?)

Pairings: collegehockeyplayer!Ari Levinson x female reader (Levs x itty bitty)

Warnings: ANGST- so much angst (I’m sorry!), explicit language, mean girls, feelings of low self esteem, broken heart, mention of physical violence (female against male), Cappy being an ass, flashback scenes (must be 18+)

Word Count: 2.6K

A/N: angst was not my intent for these two- well not this much angst. I’m sorry!

This is not beta read. All mistakes are my own.

Levs x itty bitty: hockey AU

Lucky Charms: hockey AU

"Yeah, I kinda just snapped" you grimaced before taking the to-go cup from the barista and nodding a thank you, "I just..." you blew out a heavy exhale.

"Well you are my new favorite person and I'm just sorry I missed it" bug beamed from ear-to-ear, "it's about time somebody gave that doofus a black eye," she almost looked giddy as she accepted her drink before stepping away from the coffee cart in the direction of the arena.

"I've never punched anyone before... well... other than Levs and it was always playful and he's a brick house" you smiled, gaze dropping to the ground as you felt your cheeks heat.

"Um... right?" Bug giggled, I thought Barnesy was a beefcake... but Levs? Holy hell. What's that like?" She raised her eyebrow suggestively.

"I wouldn't know" you sighed, shoulders slumping a little as you took a sip of the coffee bug offered to buy you after finding out about your tipsy tussle with the hockey captain.

"What?" bug stopped dead in her tracks as she arm barred you, "I thought you and Ari were... dating?"

"No" you felt a lump building in your throat, "we... I don't really know what we are... we've been friends forever and we made this stupid deal to take it a step further... to... you know... when he scores on the ice. But he hasn't since... and Cappy thinks it's my fault."

"What?" bug made a face, "oh, that fucking meatball..." she grumbled to herself, shaking her head.

"Ari's just so superstitious and I..." your voice cracked with emotion.

"Hey... no... y/n... stop!" bug said, pulling you in for an awkward side hug, "I know we haven't known each other long, but even I can tell how head-over-heels that slab of beef is for you. And he actually seems like one of the good ones."

"I guess" you sniffled as you continued on towards the arena.

"Oh... before I forget" bug reached into her bag, pulling out a folded up t-shirt, "it's to promote the adoption drive and the calendar... it has Lev's number on the back… he already paid for it… he wants you wearing his number, that’s gotta say something…” she wagged her eyebrows at you and you took it, rolling your eyes with a warm laugh.

“So… you wearing Cappy’s?” you asked bug.

“Not exactly” she smirked, holding open her coat to reveal the “Team Cappy Team Literally Anyone Else” shirt she was wearing.

“Oh my god” you snorted, shaking your coffee a little too hard as it spilled over the rim, “that’s amazing! Did you have that made?” you asked, sipping the spilled coffee off the lid.

“No” bug tried biting back her smile, “Crappy had it made for me.”

“You like him” you smiled softly at your new friend.

“I’m really trying not to…” bug frowned, apologetically.

“Don’t” you reassured her, “he’s actually a good guy… or he used to be at least.”

“I don’t know” bug shook her head, taking another sip of her coffee.

“I think you’re good for him” you offered, “maybe he’ll stop being such an ass with you…”

“Well if he’s an ass again you have my full support in giving him another black eye” bug giggled as she nudged you with her shoulder.

"Thanks” you smirked with a playful eye roll, “when is the calendar shoot, anyway?" you asked nodding to the adoption drive t-shirt in your hand.

"Next week" bug sighed, "and everything has to go just right... we won't have enough time to redo any shots before the photos have to go to the printer..."

"I'm sure it will be fine" you smiled, "do you need any help?"

"Thank you" bug smiled at you, "I think we’re OK... clover will be there and the photographer has 2 assistants that are amazing... Cappy said he would be on his best behavior and the rest of the guys are being surprisingly cooperative."

"Even Shea and Storm?" you couldn't believe it.

"Even Shea and Storm" bug smirked.

"How?" you wanted to know what sorcery bug held over these guys.

"Told them they'd get to see boobs" bug laughed.

"You're showing them your boobs?" you snorted with laughter.

"Hell no!" bug laughed, "I'm going to have Cappy do it... he's got a good set of man boobs..."

You shook your head laughing as you pushed the door to the arena open.

"I gotta go find Levs" you told bug, "save me a seat?"

"Sure" bug smiled, waving as she turned in the direction of the stands.

"Hey, bit" Levs called out as he hockey stopped in front of the boards, taking his helmet off and ducking to press a soft kiss to your forehead.

"How's your hand, slugger?" he teased. You brought your hand up with a cringe, the small knuckles littered with bruises from last night.

"I... I'm sorry" you couldn't meet his gaze, totally mortified, "he just... god... he's such a fucking asshole, ya know?"

"Trust me... I know" Ari's exhale was heavy as he gently took your hand, bringing it to his mouth and ghosting his lips over the knuckles with soft kisses.

"How ya feeling?" you asked, changing the subject as you tugged your hand away, still embarrassed at last night’s outburst as a kaleidoscope of butterflies bloomed in your belly.

Another 3 games had passed leaving Ari scoreless and cranky.

"Good... I think" he shrugged just as a puck banked off the boards and slide in his direction. Levs turned and lobbed the puck back towards the net- missing by several inches.

"He was making 'em before you showed up" number seven said, sporting a dark shiner.

"Fuck off, Crappy" you grumbled.

"Yeah... whatcha gonna do? Give me another black eye?" Cappy snorted.

“You see bug’s shirt yet?” you goaded.

Steve narrowed his eyes at you before he turned in the direction of student seating- scanning the stands for bug.

"Enough, Cap" Ari warned as Cappy shook his head, skating away.

"Don't let him get to you" Ari said, turning back to you with a smile. But you’ve known Levs long enough to know that the smile was forced. Ari was in his head and Crappy was making it worse.

"But what if he's right?" your voice cracked with emotion.

Levs shook his head, putting his helmet back on and skating towards the goal. He whistled to Barnesy, signaling for a puck and Bucky shot one to him.

Levs turned back, making sure you were watching as he angled his stick back, a slap shot cracking over the ice when the puck sailed towards the empty warm up net. The puck pinged off the post and missed.

Your eyes prickled as you watched Ari miss two more times. Blinking back the tears you left without saying goodbye- trying to make your way to the bathroom before you burst out in tears.

You stood sniffling in a stall when you heard them. Straining to listen as your heart hammered in your chest.

"I knew it... the entire time" Kimmy insisted. You could see her through the crack in the stall, she was leaning into the mirror while putting on lipgloss.

"You think they were fucking the whole time?" another girl asked.

"Oh, I know they were" Kimmy scoffed.

Wrong.

"What a slut" her friend said, "she probably fucks the whole team..."

Wrong. They were all wrong. You hadn't slept with anyone on the team. Not even Ari.

"Well... take him back" another friend said, "he wasn't hers to begin with... and besides you're hotter."

A fresh wave of tears spilled as the mean girls cackled, leaving the bathroom and no doubt going to find Ari.

You pulled another handful of tissue from the toilet paper roll, feeling sick to your stomach and utterly sorry for yourself. You should just leave. How stupid could you be... if Levs hadn't scored yet did he actually really want to?

And what had Crappy say last night?

"You took one of the top scorers on the team and nutured him. Give him his balls back, tt!"

That's when you punched the smirk right off his stupid face.

What did Steve Rogers know? You mattered. Levs told you so himself.

After taking a few more minutes to compose yourself, you sucked it up and made you way back towards the ice- knowing that Ari would want your usual send off for good luck.

You stopped dead in your tracks when you saw him skating around carefree on the ice as Kimmy and her friends cheered him on. Ari came to a stop in front of Kimmy as she reached out grabby hands and he dropped a puck to her.

You rolled your eyes when she kissed it for good luck and tossed it back on the ice. Your chest tightened as you watched Ari reach out with his stick and take the puck.

You silently chastised yourself for hoping he'd miss as he lined the shot up, his stick cracking over the puck as it zipped across the ice- practically burning a hole through the net.

"Gooooooooaaaaaaaaaal" Cappy cheered obnoxiously as Kimmy and her friends bounced and clapped. Steve hooked the puck from the net and shot it back to Ari, he moved to shoot it again before Kimmy said something. Ari hesitated for a moment before picking it back up and handing it to her.

You couldn't hear what Kimmy was saying but saw the way her friends giggled as Ari leaned in, Kimmy holding the puck up to his lips before pulling it away and pressing a kiss to his mouth at the last second.

Your heart sank, the instant bitter taste of bile rising up your throat as you blinked back a fresh wave of tears.

Ari pulled away instantly, frowning at Kimmy as he spoke until his gaze caught yours standing about 6 feet behind them.

The shirt with Ari's number for the adoption drive fell from your hand as tears streamed freely down your face. Shaking your head at him, it was as if you were having a silent conversation, Ari's expression looked pained- his eyes pleading as you shook your head, turning on your heels and walking away.

"Bit... don't" you heard him call as you weaved through the packed arena, fans filling the stands for the game.

The lump in your throat burned as you wiped your tears with the sleeve of Ari's oversized hoodie, hurrying towards the front door as you tried like hell to hold it together.

"Bit....stop!" you heard Ari's voice boom down the long hallway, pausing only briefly you saw the giant, lumbering after you, still on his skates, as the crowd of people parted like the Red Sea for him.

You chirped, turning back around and pushing your way through the swarm of fans with more urgency. You couldn't do this anymore. Not while your heart was breaking.

"Bit.... Fuck! Y/N... stop... please" his voice was fading into the noise of the arena the more distance you put between you.

No doubt Ari was getting swarmed by now. Always a fan favorite and for once it was working in your favor.

You made it to the door, gripping the handle and letting out a trembling breath you didn't even realize you were holding. Your lungs burned, chest ached and you knew you shouldn't but you turned back for one last look.

You couldn't help smiling as the sob choked up your throat. Ari, surrounded by a sea of his young fans. A gentle giant, still trying to push through the throng of people as he looked up, locking eyes with you where you stood, hesitating at the entrance.

"Please" he mouthed, still about 20 feet away from you, even from this distance you could tell his eyes were watery and it made you want to run to him. Want to make it all better.

"I'm sorry" you murmured, pushing the door open and slipping though without looking back. The door slammed shut behind you with a finality you weren't ready for, but even then, you wouldn't let yourself turn back.

You walked across campus, trying to steady your breathing, at least until you made it to your car- parked in the big lot across campus.

You half expected him to come chasing after you. If you were being honest- you wanted him to chase after you. But it was time. This will-they, won't-they over the past 2 years was slowly eating you alive. It wasn't good for either of you.

You had been right there all along and he never made it happen. He never sealed the deal. And you had tried. You told him what you wanted the end of your sophomore year.

He had said it mattered. It was supposed to matter.

A sob bubbled up your throat, painful and hot as tears blurred your vision. You were about 10 minutes from your car. Damn this large campus.

When Ari left for summer break you lasted a week. One agonizing week without him. You decided you were going to go- surprise him in Canada. He had always said he wanted to take you- wanted you to meet his Mom and the small town he grew up in. He wanted to show you the lake where he learned how to skate and where his junior team won their first championship.

But the night before you were set to leave, you saw it. A seven second video, playing on a loop. You probably watched it 20 times.

Ari with his on-again-off-again high school sweetheart- kissing outside a bar.

She posted it. Levs didn't even have a social media. You were sure he didn't even know about it. But that's what made it so damning. That and the fact that he was wearing a tournament tshirt Coach V had made only a few weeks back.

Oh, how you wanted to convince yourself it was an old video.

You leaned against you car, sighing with a heavy kind of temporary relief. You were glad to be back at your car- but not sure what the hell you were going to do now. You couldn't be here.

Gripping the handle and yanking the door open you sat in your car, holding the steering wheel as you finally let yourself feel. The tears were coming fast as you sobbed, sobbed so hard it made your chest ache and your head throb.

You cried for all the time you spent pining for him. For all the hopeful moments spent in his arms thinking someday. Someday this would happen for you. Someday you would matter enough. But it didn't. You didn't.

And now that you saw it from the other side you still couldn't understand why that someday never came.

When Ari came back after that summer, you acted like nothing happened. You didn't tell him that you saw the kiss. You just dove into your school work, dated a handful of other guys unsuccessfully and continued to be Ari's good friend. His itty bitty. Hoping that one day he would figure it out. That he would truly see that it did matter.

You stayed in your car the duration of the game- only realizing it when you saw people start to funnel out in the direction of the arena. The crowd looked happy which meant the boys won. You hoped Ari scored. But not for you this time. For him.

You took a deep clarifying breath, easing the car out of the parking lot and turning away from campus. You knew what you needed to do and for once, it didn't involve Ari.

Turns out, even after all this time, it didn't actually matter after all.

Check out bug’s Team Literally Anyone Else t-shirt made by the lovely and talented @justalonelyslytherin ❤️

The hockey dividers were made by the lovely and talented @firefly-graphics ❤️

As always, thank you for all the love and support. Please check out my archive blog where I only post new fics @drabblewithfrannybarnesfics ❤️