How To Tell If You're In A Historical Chinese Drama:

How to tell if you're in a historical Chinese drama:

(Inspired by this classic!)

Someone offends you unforgivably by calling you by your actual name.

You are preparing for a bloody battle in the rain. Your boots are made of exquisitely embroidered silk duchesse.

Everyone you know is god-tier beautiful. You ignore this.

Significant tea is being poured.

Your soulmate tells you in plain words that they love you. You comically misunderstand what they said, and will keep doing so, because the plot is not over yet.

The only thing more elaborate than the villain's cunning plan is the engineering of your man-bun.

Duels are scored like gymnastics routines. To beat your opponent, try a triple-twisting double tucked salto.

You have been married for thirty years. You have never seen your spouse's wrist.

Sometimes peasants and servants are killed horribly in front of you. It's a normal part of life. The other peasants will presumably take care of the practicalities, such as burial and being upset.

Any injury, including a broken nail, makes you vomit blood.

The year is 400 AD. French tips have been invented.

You're on a moon bridge and you are yearning.

More Posts from Erionella and Others

5 months ago
Shit Posts N The Like
Shit Posts N The Like
Shit Posts N The Like
Shit Posts N The Like

shit posts n the like

thanks @airplanecrashingdown for sending me some of these LMAO

6 months ago

In that Qijiu ask, I think you're right about how YQY's shizun must've been extremely detached emotionally, and probably encouraged the same in YQY. I remember what he says during his confession, about how "nobody was willing to actually listen to what I was begging for; nobody was willing to let me out..." That line paints his shizun in a pretty damning light to me.

Yeah. Like, just because YQY doesn’t show his rough edges as SJ does, doesn’t mean he doesn’t have them. Yue Qingyuan to me sometimes gives off the vibes that his rough edges were forcefully sanded down and it hurt. 

4 months ago

*drinks deeply of my red wine, reclining on a chaise lounge in a green velvet robe* Another long night of breaking and torturing that old man *sip* Ah, a find vintage! *rings my little faggot bell* Manfred! Bring me the Qijiu fluff! Be quick about it doll, I want to feel alive!

2 months ago

AU/fic prompt where Shen Yuan does not pull off the ruse at all. All the peak lords look at him like 'no, nowhere enough contempt in that look that ain't Shen Jiu' but no one calls because while observing trying figure out possession they see his knowledge of things not just Shen Jiu BUT no one else should know like you are casually talking about a creature that for all we know has been extinct for millennia and casually mentioning about things going on no ones told.

All of collectively decide he's a god. (Apart from Shang Qinghua who hasn't noticed all this because he is doing ALL THE PAPERWORK while the other peak lords are in front of their WTF conspiracy board. He doesn't know what they're doing he doesn't care he just wants a nap.)

Just all peak lords sure Shen Jiu died and now there's a god in his body.

Luo Binghe of course hearing they're mutters and instantly being like 'yep makes perfect sense Shizun is perfect' and then turning to Meng Mo and being like 'how to I court a god?'

After Shang Qinghua and Shen Yuan meet other peak lords looking and listening in on them talking in ANOTHER LANGUAGE THEY HAVE NEVER HEARD AND NO RECORD OF and saying things that make no sense and are like 'both gods, that little shit was a god this whole time...I MADE A GOD THE BUDGETING?

Meanwhile Luo Binghe trying become demonic emperor and gain all the power like 'ok if I take over the entire world I think i should be able to start courting Shizun... maybe all 3 first? when I can start sending courting gifts to a god?'

Bonus Mobei Jun caught on right away there was something up with Shang Qinghua and quickly decided god and has an entire council of demons trying to figure out how to court a god... they have no basis for this. Can you bride nap a god? is that allowed? what courting gifts would even work? Mobei Jun has been beating him up because the council couldn't stop him doing something but since he hasn't been responding figure they need something else.

Just Shen Yuan and Shang Qinghua convinced they have fooled everyone just like 'don't be suspicious' while everyone else is like 'We've connected the dots... they're gods'

4 months ago
I'd Animate Yqy Slower But I'm Battling Against A Severe Art Block So Pardon This One AaKAKAKA.

I'd animate yqy slower but I'm battling against a severe art block so pardon this one aaKAKAKA.

please dont bother Peak Lord Shen he's having a moment right now.

3 months ago
Just Imagine You Childhood Best Friend Who You Swore To Come For Her When She Was Sell To The Warm Red

Just imagine you childhood best friend who you swore to come for her when she was sell to the warm red pavilion look like THIS and look you like THAt ( what an awakening, does it not yqy?

this is my little au, where sj was sell to the warm red pavilion, and yqy could go for her, so is my fluff that keeps me from going insane by this two story

11 months ago

Remembering that time I read the bsd manga and Dazai's ability was mistranslated to "Human Failure"


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6 months ago

unfortunately this is literally bingqiu

Unfortunately This Is Literally Bingqiu
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erionella - Nella
Nella

[|🍉| scrawling around tumblr, does nothing to help the community]Shen Jiu defender and apologist, also a 79 enthusiastMultishipper and Multifandom, just awfully invested in svsss rn

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