Jus Keeping It Real

So true!

Tan lines or no???

I was a good friend to him, I brought him in to my home, my family, my friends. I let him cry and hurt and tried to help him through his divorce. I got close with him. I thought we were best friends, then one day just it’s like I’m this scum that he can’t be around per his X ya know, I would’ve told my X to get fucked. Then he treats me different. Don’t seem to worry about different, I could never be so cold. I hope that losing me as a friend is what he wanted cause he fucking got it!

How did we go from that to this...

“Things change. And friends leave. Life doesn’t stop for anybody.”

— Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being a Wallflower

We could be so good together! We split up and then you want to work it out, so I try time and time again, just to end up right back to me falling back into you, then you realize you have me, and all of a sudden you’re back to cold as ice. I beg you to talk to me, tell me what I could do to make things better and you act like I’m the only one with the problem, maybe I am, but my problem is you. It’s like you are completely emotion less. Like you block out everything I say, you text me and when I text you back and it’s not what you want to hear then you don’t even really read them just enough to find something and say I’m starting shit. I am trying harder than I have in the twenty something years we’ve been in this. I speak you start to act like you frustrated, like I’m bothering you when I’m just trying to make conversation with my husband. I thought we were suppose to be a team in this. You talk and treat everyone like human beings and me like I’m a pest. Ya know, I’ve got over you before, so Idk why you want to torture us both. I’m a Gemini, I have to feel wanted, not smothered but loved. I would love to be number 3 in your life but I’m lucky if I’m in the the top 10. So please just go. Stop torturing me for loving you. I’m good with it, because I love you enough that I want you to be happy, I want to make someone happy, and I never seem to make you anything. I feel like a sex doll, like whenever you want it. You want me dressed up and in the mood, when I feel like your half way finished before we even start, then you don’t talk to me unless you need something from me, you hurt me, I tell you, and you say nothing at all. Just go. Find someone that does it for you, not just sexually, but someone you want to sit and talk to and not try and stay away from. I am not holding you back and I’ve never held anything over your head trying to keep you. The other day when I had to go and you and my girl talked for a min, you actually sat in the carport and had a good conversation, it made me jealous af but only because I feel like you don’t even try that with me……. So walk away, if you ever really care please stop dragging me, I’m not strong enough to tell you no ever.

“I’m one of those people that you have to keep your eye on or I’ll wander off into the woods and forget to come back.”

— Jack White