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Latest Posts by error-raccoon-404

Sooo moray eels eat crab. So do octopus.

Do yall think that for birthdays, instead of cake the octavinelle trio just eats mass amounts of crab?

Also like, Octopus sometimes eat eels. And moray eels sometimes eat octopus. What if that was how they met?

if you haven't listened to one last time while actually reading Washington's farewell address, you totally should. literally chills.

worst part about having mutuals younger than you is seeing them be far less cringe than you were at their age

I am begging the FDA to require that companies CANNOT just put "spices" as an ingredient but have to label the spices.

"Spices" can mean "this has some oregano and black pepper in it" or it can mean "this has cumin cayenne and paprika and if you eat this you will be sick in bed in pain for a week" for me.

Seriously, this is an allergy issue and a huge oversight on the part of corporations.

Require detailed labeling of spices used in packaged foods NOW.

A Regular Spidey Valentine's day

Pairing: Hobie Brown x fem! Reader/ Spider-Punk x fem! Reader

Word count: 3.1k

Summary: Hobie's valentine's day plan goes awry when Spider-Man duties call.

Tags: No use of Y/N, no specific physical description of the reader, established relationship, CW suggestive, CW food mentions, lovestruck! Hobie, canon typical violence, fluff.

Requested by @thesevenofstaves -- had to double check the master list but i don’t think there’s one similar to this? but if there is feel free toto discard—hobie trying to have a great valentine’s day with his partner, but everything keeps going wrong. we’re talking villain attacks, we’re talking culinary failures. you get the idea!thank you love you 🥰

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You open your eyes to a cold valentine's day morning. But the cool wind barely nips at you when you've got your very own furnace holding you close under the thick blankets.

Hobie embraces you from behind, soft snores escaping from his parted lips as he finds his place on your nape. You feel his breath fanning across your skin, goosebumps appearing on your arms as he lets out an exhale. You wonder what he's dreaming about, you only hope it's good things as his arms subconsciously squeezes you in his sleep.

His legs are tangled with your own, socked feet rubbing along your cold leg as you feel him stir when the light from the windows beam through the curtains. His hands wiggle their way under your night shirt, holding your stomach and letting his warmth ebb from his palms. Smiling, you hold the back of his hands, thumbs running along his knuckles as a soft and gentle way to wake him up.

“We need new blinds.” Hobie murmurs against the back of your neck, lil piercing brushing along your raised skin. His voice is still deep and rough from sleep, it single handedly makes your heart flutter.

“Good morning to you too.” You chuckle, voice soft amidst the early morning fluttering of dust. “Maybe that'll be your valentine's gift from me.”

He laughs, a deep rumble in his throat that reverberates through you. “Make it blackout, love. ‘m startin’ to think that people can see through and see our nightly—” you crane your neck to give him a side glance as a warning, only to find that he has already cracked an eye open, waiting for your reaction. “—Activities.”

Humming, you're satisfied by his use of the word.

“‘m talkin' ‘bout makin’ love, by the way.”

“Hobie!” You giggle, and the sound immediately has Hobie moving to detangle himself away from you and lift his body atop your own in quick succession and fluid movement. His lopsided smile has your words stuck in your throat as you look up at him through wide eyes.

“Hearts day today, hm?” He pokes your cheek, arms enclosed around you and legs trapping your thighs together. “The most capitalistic time of the year.”

You try to tamp down a laugh but can't help giggling when he tilts his head and tries to look all flirty with you when he's still wearing his pink silk bonnet and with crusts still in the corner of his eyes.

“That's true,” lifting your hand up to rub away the sleep in his eyes gently, he closes his eyes whilst you do it. “But you always go all out during the holiday.”

“Yeah, but it's for you.” He leans against your touch, sighing longingly as if you're across the sea from him. “And only for you, love.” Dropping down, he places his head on your shoulder, burrowing his face in the crook of your neck as he gives small pecks on your skin. Your heart feels full in the moment as you hold him close and tangle your legs with him. “Says you who made me a whole bloody outfit from scratch.”

Laughing, he continues to kiss your neck and up to your jaw. “And I loved making it for you,” you say breathlessly as he kisses deeper and you move your neck to give him more space to cover. “Just say you love the holiday, Hobs.”

Hobie pauses from his barrage of kisses, lifting his head up to look you in the eyes. He fixes your unruly brows that still bear sleep, and rubs your cheek lovingly with his knuckles.

“No.”

“Is it because you have to go on patrol today unlike last year?”

“The world is tearing us apart, lovie.” He leans in, kissing the corner of your lips, cheeks and the tip of your nose.

“Maybe just London, Hobie.” You gasp as he presses a sweet kiss on your lips. You reciprocate wholeheartedly, hands balling his pajama shirt and smiling through the kiss.

“London can wait a few more minutes.”

—

“Hobie, be careful, please?” You hug yourself tighter, wrapping Hobie's cardigan around you. “I have plans for us tonight so please come home in one piece.”

Hobie, in his full regalia of spandex and leather sits in-between the window sill as if he’s thinking whether he should stay or go.

“You know I always will, love.” Holding up his arms, you park yourself in the space as he curls himself around your form, face scrunched on your belly, and with you hugging his head. “I'll be on time, hm?” He whispers against you, placing a heavy kiss atop the cardigan that you both share.

“I'm not worried about that.” Craning your neck, not worried about the crick you're about to surely have, you kiss his temple sweetly. “Just come home, okay?”

Hobie reluctantly lifts his head away from you, smiling up at you. If he doesn't leave now, he'll never get out of the flat. “You want wine for tonight?”

“If you're coming home all beaten and battered, you better have something stronger.” You joke as you caress his cheek.

“I'll get you the good stuff, hm?”

“Anything from you is the good stuff.” Leaning down, you kiss him on his waiting lips. “Now go, the city needs you, Spider-Man.”

Hobie gives you one last smile before placing the mask on his head. Now face to face with the famed vigilante. Taking your hand, he kisses your knuckles and lets you go to jump off the window and swing away into the bustling city.

Watching his form retreating away, you sigh and start preparing for tonight's meal, that's for sure would be so bountiful that it would send the vigilante to a food coma.

—

Hobie heaves in place as the lizard lays unconscious by his feet. It's barely noon and he has stopped seven disasters already. There goes his plans to swing by and hand you a bouquet that he gathered himself that's now slowly floating down to the dust covered pavement. Fragrant flower petals come down from the sky, and a few people stop by and watch as the colourful flowers grace the cold London street.

“It's a Valentine's miracle!” A bystander exclaims happily, dancing around the floating petals.

Hobie shakes his head, rubbing a gloved hand across his masked face. He should've seen the lizard coming but he was too enthralled by his own mind that was playing what your reaction would be after he gives you a visit and hands you the flowers.

“Fuckin' hell.” He stretches his aching shoulder, already thinking of a faster route to gather all the flowers he needed to make a new bouquet. Whilst he thinks, a fire alarm blares in the distance, making his senses go off. With a sigh, the flowers have to wait.

—

You swirl the final touches on the red velvet cake you just finished. Smiling happily at the result even though it's your first time baking one. As you check the time, looking over to the clock on the wall, you have plenty of time to finish up dinner. Now with dessert out of the way, it's time for the main course.

You wonder what Hobie's up to and if he has eaten lunch yet.

—

“You wanker! That was my lunch!” Hobie screams at the cackling Rhino. Real fury in his veins whilst he glances at the sandwich you packed for him this morning that's now flattened under the villain's metallic foot.

“Oh poor spidey lost his sandwich?” The Rhino mocks while doing a crying motion at him. “What are you gonna do about it?”

Hobie cracks his neck, jaw tightening and walking slowly at the humongous suit of armour. He has no quip nor a joke, just silence; making the Rhino fear for his life.

—

“Shit!” You yelp, dropping the smoking metal tray into the sink. Opening the faucet, the tray hisses and lets out steam whilst the whole kitchen is covered in smoke. “Damn it.”

Maybe taking a short nap while the oven is on wasn't such a great idea. Good thing you have a plan b just in case something like this happened.

Checking the time, you're starting to worry that you won't finish before Hobie comes home now that it's well into the afternoon. With a groan, you start again.

—

“No, Ned, not a bloody yellow one!” Hobie yells into the phone's receiver, which he only uses for times like these. He's on call with Ned who owes Hobie big time and whom he asked for help in buying ingredients from the store. He dodges the Scorpion's stinger, balancing on a metal railing just near the end of the docks. “Not blue either! It'll look like it's for a baby shower—!” The stinger gets too close for comfort. “Do you fuckin' mind? 'm on the phone.”

“Drop the call, Spider-Man!” The scorpion says in his scratchy tone as he hangs upside down on a lamp post. “What's more important than saving the bank?”

“The bank can fuck off for all I care!” Hobie jumps and webs the stinger to a building. “It's the hostages you've got inside, you knobhead—! No, not you, Ned!” Groaning, he has had enough and quickly somersaults over the second stinger that was aimed for him. “What's up with you animal themed villains today? Got no dates?!”

“That's harsh.” The Scorpion's shoulders deflates sadly.

“Guess it's hard to find a date when you dress like that!” He pounces, punching the guy right on his jaw.

Hobie looks at the sun slowly setting on the horizon and he focuses on the task at hand. The faster he defeats the Scorpion, the faster he can get to you.

“Pink or red only, Ned, and get the good chocolate and please don't forget the thing I told you.” He closes the call and tucks the phone back in his vest pocket. Cracking his knuckles, he hones in on the villain. “Maybe you'll find a date in jail, yeah?”

—

You set up the dinner table all pretty like with red roses, a fine tablecloth, and gilded utensils that you got a deal on at an estate sale last week. Looking around, the pretty string lights and the strawberry scented candles have you smiling and patting your back for a job well done.

Your phone pings on the kitchen counter, and you race towards it to check if it's Hobie telling you that he's on his way. Your brows knit together when it's Ned asking you when your birthday is and if you're allergic to nuts. A weird combination of questions but you still open your phone and answer him.

—

“C’mon, blackcat, not today.” Hobie sighs, the marks from the previous fights is evident on his soot and scratch covered suit. The sun has fully set, and the clock ticks close to seven pm as he stands on a rooftop with blackcat, who's carrying a duffel bag full of jewellery.

“Why? Got something to do, handsome?” She says in a sultry tone, sharp claws glinting in the moonlight. Hobie subtly tilts his head in annoyance. Nothing seems to be going his way today. “Oh, I get it, you've got someone waiting for you tonight, hm?” Her heels click on the rooftop as she walks closer to him. Hobie smacks his lips together, fists tightening.

In the distance, the famous jewellery shop she just robbed empty has its alarms blaring loudly. Sirens go off around the area, and Hobie just wants to go home.

“Y’know what?” Hobie starts, exasperated. Blackcat tilts her head, her silver eyes under the domino mask narrows at him. “That place was owned by an arsehole, go.”

She blinks in place, a smirk slowly appearing on her painted lips. “Really? Just like that?”

Hobie nods, “promise not to tell anyone what you deduced and give thirty percent of the money you get from that to a charity and I'll let you go.”

“Shit, Spider-Man, why didn't you say so in the first place?” She chuckles, reeling her claws back in.

“Fuckin’ say it, Felicia.”

“Damn, you don't have to call me by my government name, man.” She rummages through the bag and tosses him something shiny which Hobie catches effortlessly. “Here, for your special someone. And I promise, spidey. Cross my heart, hope to die.” She draws a cross over her chest.

“I'll know, don't lie to me.” His voice falls into a dangerous timbre.

She visibly stiffens from the threat, not forgetting what he did to Osborne a few years ago. “As if I'd lie to my favourite spider.”

As blackcat tumbles away, leaving Hobie alone, he opens his palm to see a shiny diamond tennis bracelet. Maybe he can detach the diamonds and make something else.

“Shit!” He needs to get to Ned’s real quick.

—

You've been sitting pretty on the dining table for four hours now. The candle is dwindling and the food is getting colder while the clock ticks on the wall. For the umpteenth time tonight, you fix your clothes as if there's even a crease or a speck of dust on it. You don't mind waiting for him when you know the nature of his work, but you're starting to worry when his last text to you was hours ago. You've even turned on the telly in the background just in case he pops up in the news.

With a yawn, you decide to lay your head on the table. “Just closing my eyes.” You mumble to yourself as you drift in between slumber and wakefulness.

Hobie's heart breaks when he sees you asleep on the table with your head tucked in your arms. The candles are fully melted on the candelabra, and the smell of food is fading away. He's sure that it might've smelled heavenly hours ago, if only he got there earlier.

He quietly takes off his heavy boots by the door, the crinkling of the paper bag has him cringing. But when he glances at your sleeping form, you're still sleeping soundly. He curses himself internally as he roams his eyes around the living room and the decorations you've put out. You've even got new pictures of you together with him inside pretty frames to place around the shared place. The flowers on the vases are still fresh and blooming, and you look absolutely stunning.

Gently placing the paper bag on the table, he kneels next to you, hand grasping your bicep while he wakes you up.

You stir, sniffing the air as you lift your head up. Your face lights up when you see him smiling softly at you.

“Hi.”

“Hello, love. Sorry ‘m late, let me carry you to bed, yeah?” Hobie rubs your thigh lovingly, chest feeling heavy and guilty. “I tried.”

You immediately know what he meant. “I know, Hobs.” Reaching for his cheek, you let your touch warm him. His face still feels chilly from how he might've run to get to the flat. “You okay?” He nods, eyes shining as he moves closer and places his head on your lap. “Bad day?”

“A shite day.” He hugs your waist, face nudging you.

“Sounds like you need a Valentine's meal, hm?”

Hobie lifts his head up, palms holding your hips. “It's cold.”

“That's why microwaves and the stove were invented.”

A smile curls on his lips until he's laughing against your stomach. You giggle with him, fingers kneading in between his shoulder blades.

“What did you make?” He asks, still holding you in place and in turn holding him down to the present.

“Baked chicken with lemongrass just like how you like it.” You whisper to him while the pads of his fingers draw circles on the small of your back. “Some mashed potatoes, so many buttered vegetables.” You chuckle and you feel his smile atop your skin. “Fish fillet—”

“With the garlic and cream sauce?”

You nod, gazing down lovingly at him. “With the garlic and cream sauce of course. Some tomato soup, and cake.”

“We feedin’ a whole town now, lovie?” He smiles up at you, stomach rumbling from the menu.

“Yeah, you,” you joke, earning a squeeze from him. “I rarely cook for you these days so I went all out.”

He beams at you, eyes gazing at you lovingly. “I got you flowers.” He says in a small tone. Your heart flutters. “It's all over downtown now though.”

Your laugh is music to his ears. “I bet it made someone's day though.”

“There was a bloke who looked like he was in the sound of music.” He places his chin on your thigh, staring at you with heart shaped eyes. You laugh, hands cupping each of his cheeks. “I made you chocolates, but Neddy got coconut fillings in most of ‘em. And the sprinkles are green, sorry.”

“Is that why Ned asked me if I have any allergies and when my birthday is? He helped you make them?”

“I can't make it ‘ere when you were cookin’ up a storm. Wait, he asked you? Idiot.” He curses Ned's name and you giggle. Hobie bites his lip, suddenly nervous. “And he was askin' when your birthday is so he could get your birth stone.”

“My stone?”

“I just told him to pick it up so I could set it myself and the wanker forgot when your birthday is just because I just said your birthstone.” You squeeze his cheek to stop his nervous rambling. He sighs, rummaging through his jacket pocket and procuring a simple bamboo box. “Made and designed by yours truly.” He chuckles nervously as he opens the box, revealing a simple platinum necklace that has your birthstone set in a guitar pick shaped locket. “Sorry that the stone is so small. The old lady who owned the place got me a good price though.”

“Hobie,” you softly sigh out, tears prickling your eyes. “You could get me a candy necklace and I would still love it.”

“Should've gotten that then.” He laughs, mirroring your smile. “I thought, ten fuckin' years together, ten Valentines, I have to get you somethin' nice. You deserve nice, love.”

“The chocolates and the pavement flowers were nice too. Anything from you is nice, Hobie.” You don't hold yourself back anymore, leaning down and kissing the corner of his eye as he holds onto you. “Amazing even.”

“You like it then?” He says as he gets a barrage of kisses.

“I love it. Come stand up and help me put it on like in the movies.”

Hobie reaches for your cheek, a calloused palm holding you close and keeping you warm. “Kiss me like in the movies then.”

So you do.

Banners by @/cafekitsune

Photos from Pinterest

i've been the skinny kid all my life, too late to back out now

reblog this if you started worrying about your weight before you were 16

alrighty guys i'm asking again because the last attempt prevailed nothing. i need someone to beta read my odypoli fanfic. pls help

i need more hobie x spidernoir on my timeline.

its a viceral neeedddd

also a good fanfic for them is "what i found in your arms" on AO3

Ares after witnessing what happened in "Odysseus" (Athena was right was right about making people bleed):

(The Ares's design i used was made by @anniflamma !!!)

"He's British?!"

Hobie x Greek!Reader (does this count as x reader?)

Word Count: 1268

Summary: Pavitr's been hounding Y/n to meet his friends, especially Hobie. After weeks of Pavitr’s excitement, Y/n finally agrees, only to find herself skeptical. However Pav seems to have left out a crucial detail

“Come on! Hurry up slowpoke!” 

“Dude calm down, it’s not that big of a deal.”

Pavitr gaped at his friend. “Wh- huh? Yes it is!” he exclaimed. “I finally get to introduce you to my other spider-friends!” 

Y/n chuckled, shaking her head. “Yeah, yeah, I know. Spider-friends. Cool and all, but you don’t have to act like it’s a Marvel movie premiere or something.”

Pavitr groaned dramatically, throwing his hands in the air as they swung between buildings. “Are you kidding me, N/n? This is a big deal! You’re getting to see Miles, and Gwen again, and meet Hobie! It’s like... the Spider-Society family reunion!”

“Family reunion where half the relatives can shoot webs and punch holes in reality?” Y/n quipped, smirking.

“Yes! And trust me, Hobie is going to love you,” Pavitr said, his voice tinged with excitement. “He’s all about rebellion and sticking it to The Man. You, my friend, are basically Spider-Rebel. Plus Miles already likes you, so that gives you an advantage.”

Y/n gave Pavitr a side-eye as they landed on a rooftop, her sneakers skidding slightly against the gravel. “Wait, should I be worried? I feel like I need a warning label for this guy, based on the stories you’ve told me.”

Pavitr grinned mischievously, hopping onto the edge of the roof and leaning forward dramatically. “Just... brace yourself. There Hobie’s a lot. But don’t worry, you’ll get used to him. Eventually.”

Y/n sighed, shaking her head but couldn’t help the grin forming on her face. “Alright, alright.. Lead the way, Spider-Man Tour Guide.”

Pavitr lit up, his energy bounding as he launched forward, his voice echoing through the city. He used his goober to open a portal. “HQ, here we come! 

Y/n muttered under her breath as she followed, “This is either going to be amazing or a complete disaster…” She sighed then piped up louder. “But I still reserve the right to whoop ass if he’s an asshole!” She shouted ahead to Pavtir. 

“Don’t worry you won’t have to! Now Come on!” He shouted as he flew through the portal. 

Y/n stepped through the portal after Pavitr, landing with a graceful thud on the familiar polished floors of Spider-Society HQ. She immediately rolled her eyes as she took in the chaotic scene.

“Back at HQ,” she muttered, hands on her hips. “The place where Spider-People outnumber sense.”

“Come on, you love it here,” Pavitr said, nudging her shoulder.

“Sure,” Y/n replied, smirking. “Love it so much I want to build a Parthenon in the middle of it. Offer sacrifices to Miguel while he scowls at me.”

Pavitr laughed as they weaved through the crowd. “Well, today’s different! You’re finally meeting Hobie.”

Y/n snorted. “You’ve been hyping him up so much he better not disappoint.”

Pavitr grinned mischievously. “Oh, Hobie’s... something. But I have a feeling you’ll get along. Or fight. Maybe both.”

As they approached the central console, Y/n immediately spotted Gwen, Miles, and Hobie. She gave a quick wave to Gwen, whom she’d known briefly on previous visits, and dapped up Miles. “Yo, anomaly No. 2!” Miles said laughing. 

“Don’t pull that, we know out of the two of us, I’m the original.” Y’n laughed

“Guys!” Pavitr said, bounding ahead. “Here she is! The infamous Y/n I’ve been talking about!”

“Infamous, huh?” Y/n said, crossing her arms as she looked at the group. “What kind of stories are you telling people, Pav?”

“Only the best ones!” Pavitr said, grinning ear to ear. “Anyway, Gwen, Miles, you’ve met her. But Hobie—this is Y/n! Y/n this is Hobie!” 

Pavitr rapidly gestured between you too while smiling like an idiot. 

Hobie stepped forward, towering slightly over her. His punk rock vibe was impossible to miss—spiked jacket, guitar slung over his back, and a smirk that radiated trouble.

“So, you’re the Greek one Pav’s been goin’ on about,” Hobie said, his tone lazy and amused. “Must be somethin’ special, yeah?” 

Y/n froze for a moment, her eyes narrowing slightly. She leaned toward Pavitr and grabbed his arm, pulling him aside. “Pavitr. A word.”

Pavitr blinked, confused but obediently followed her to the side. “Uh... sure? What’s up?”

Y/n gestured vaguely in Hobie’s direction, keeping her voice low but her tone urgent. “You didn’t tell me he was British.”

Pavitr tilted his head, looking genuinely baffled. “So?”

“So?!” Y/n hissed, throwing her hands in the air. “That’s, like, a huge deal breaker! You should’ve led with that!”

Pavitr stared at her, fighting a laugh. “What? Why? Hobie’s great! He’s one of the coolest Spider-People I know!”

Y/n crossed her arms, scowling. “He’s British, Pav. British. You know how I feel about that.”

“Wait, is this because you’re Greek?” Pavitr asked, a smirk tugging at his lips.

Y/n gave him an incredulous look. “Oh, now you get it? Do you know how much crap the British have taken from my country? It’s like their national pastime.”

Pavitr snorted, unable to keep his laughter in check. “Okay, okay, but Hobie’s not like that! He’s anti-establishment, hates authority, very punk rock—”

“Doesn’t change the fact that he’s British,” Y/n interrupted, her tone teasing but firm. “He’s probably genetically predisposed to stealing stuff that doesn’t belong to him.”

Suddenly Gwen piped up from the corner. “He absolutely is!” She shouted. Y/n looked at pav, then to Gwen, then back to Pav again while wildly gesturing her hands. 

“Haha, don’t listen to her,” Pav shot a passive-aggressive glance at Gwen, who just smirked back. “Come on, give him a chance!” Pavitr pleaded, laughing. “You might actually like him. I mean, after you get over the whole ‘British’ thing.”

“Doubtful,” Y/n muttered, but a small smirk played on her lips as she turned back toward Hobie.

“Oi! I can hear you both, you know!” Hobie called out, amused.

Y/n gave Pavitr a quick, deadpan look. “I swear this is a curse. I can’t even look at him without hearing the word ‘bollocks.’”

Pavitr snickered, but Y/n wasn’t done.

“I know you can hear me, I’ve been saying shit with my chest this long why stop now.” she sighed dramatically, turning back to Hobie with a teasing grin. “ But let’s be real here. The real reason we’ll never get along is simple.”

Hobie raised an eyebrow, intrigued. “Oh? And what’s that then?”

Y/n crossed her arms with a smug smirk. “Simply put... I can name at least 100 things that your people took from my country that didn’t belong to them.”

Hobie blinked, clearly taken aback for a moment before cracking a grin. “Ah, so we’re going there, are we?”

“Absolutely,” Y/n said, leaning in slightly. “From the Parthenon sculptures to, well, let’s just say I could make an entire list of things your empire thought were fair game for the taking.”

Hobie let out a laugh, clearly impressed by her attitude. “Fair play, love. But if you’re gonna hold that grudge forever, we’re in for a long ride.”

Y/n shrugged, still smiling. “It’s not a grudge, mate. It’s a historical fact that I happen to find it highly amusing, considering the company I’m in.”

“Historical fact, eh?” Hobie said, grinning wider now. “Guess I’ll have to step up my game then.”

Pavitr groaned, running a hand down his face. “Oh no. This is either going to be the best friendship ever or an international incident waiting to happen.”

“Why not both?” Y/n quipped, her smirk returning as she turned back to the group.

Ares watching odysseus murder all of the suitors with a bucket of popcorn and a piña colada: oh hell yeah.

i have got it in my mind that the reason Athena came to Telemachus aid so fast was that she was already there. Like I imagine her wanting to see Odysseus, wanting to know he made it home but being to prideful to ask him herself (or simply not knowing where he was) so she thought it best to instead check the palace, hopeful to see him with his family, only to see Telemachus getting ganged up on. And knowing this would never happen with Ody around, she steps in for she now knows that, despite the years, Odysseus is not home and by now the odds that he will get home are very low.

i;m tired idk if that makes sense.

read somewhere that "i’ve never seen a woman in media as extraordinary as the women i’ve seen in real life and i’ve never seen a man in real life as extraordinary as the men i’ve seen in the movies."

In the span of only 2 songs we are truly reminded that Penelope is born and raised Spartan and I absolutely LOVE IT.

Like her husband who she has seen in 20 years shows up and commits war crimes that would likely violate the Geneva Convention, and she's just like "Ok... And?" LIKE OMG

Penelope is the mother of mothers and i absolutely adore her.

search up celeb, quote, aesthetic, season on pinterest and pick the first one

thank you for the tag @s33th1ngg

tags ; @mistysconcilium @fear-is-truth @orienteddreamerrr @urmomsg1rlfreind @andiiloveher

meeee

Jayce and Viktor give me James and Regulus vibes ya know?

Like they'll find eachother in every universe, but they'll never be able to hold on to one another long enough. They'll meet everytime, but tragedy will always strike

It's finals week so this is your formal reminder.

YOUR BODY CANNOT FUNCTION ON ONLY ENERGY DRINKS/COFFEE. DRINK SOME WATER AND EAT SOME REAL FOOD.

reblog if you’re a writer who feels guilt whenever they’re not writing and being productive, so I know I’m not the only one lol

HELP

I need someone to beta read and OdyPoli Fanfic I've been writing. This would include changing errors, giving suggestions and helping me come up with chapter names pls.

Five Nights at Freddy's: Security Breach Script Template

My hyperfixation came back lol

Here's a preview, just duplicate the template and enjoy!

Please go to my page and request templates! I don't know what to make but I want to make more templates for people

Security Breach Script

OdyPoli Fanfic on Ao3

Penelope is dead, Odysseus is at a crossroads, Polites doesn't die. and they all suffer!! Yippee!!

Please read I promise it's good! My friend says so.

Some topics + prompts for your grimoire or book of shadows

books you want to read

local folklore / mythology / legends

the wheel of the year

plants you have in your house or garden (their care, properties, uses, draw them etc)

theban alphabet

days of the week and their correspondences

write about a deity you worship / are drawn to

draw art for / of a deity you worship or are drawn to

colour magic

the elements

write about the crystals you own (draw them, write their properties, correspondences, uses, how it makes you feel etc)

how to make your own crystals

your birth chart

your sun, moon and rising sign

natural medicine (as a chronically ill witch I love natural medicine NOT AS A SUBSTITUTE FOR PRESCRIPTIONS! for example I take all my prescription meds and then if I'm having period pain I might drink some raspberry leaf tea)

positive affirmations / mantras that you connect with

how to manifest

history of witches

deities in a certain pantheon you're interested in or drawn to

write about a spell you've done (how you did it, why you did it, how you felt, the results of it, what you would change if you did the spell again etc)

chakras

write about a dream you've had

tarot reading tricks and tips

moon phases

sabbats

zodiac signs

family tree

poetry / songs / quotes you connect to (i like to find ones that make me feel powerful or witchy, or remind me of certain aspects of my practice. a song i like for this is rhiannon by fleetwood mac and i'm going to post more things like this regularly on my page)

feathers and their meanings

simple everyday magic

recipes

some ideas for the next sabbat you plan to celebrate

tarot spreads you like

write about a tarot reading you've done (any prep you did, the deck you used, the cards you pulled, your personal interpretation of the cards based on the art and how you feel, the meaning of the cards, how the cards relate to the questions you asked, final reflection on how you feel the reading went)

interesting mythology

tree of life

glamour magic

money bowls

crystal shapes and their meanings

grounding techniques

cleansing

protection

banishing

cord cutting spells

essential oils

types of divination

planets and their correspondences

angel numbers

witchy wishlist

go to supplies and ingredients (herbs and things that you use regularly)

favourite crystals

working with your inner child

if you've had a really good or particularly insightful meditation session it can be nice to either draw or write what happened and how you felt during it

witchy arts and crafts and diys you want to do

altar ideas

read a witchy book / watch a witchy video and take notes

write about your ancestors

witchy things to incorporate into your daily routine

what is a tower moment

witchy reset / self care days

the history of the area you live in

veiling

how to make your own incense sticks

shadow work

shadow work prompts

ok, that's all the ideas I have for now and I hope that helps someone! I'll be posting some pages from my grimoire and some more prompt / topic ideas in the near future which I'm really excited for.

P.S. please remember that everyone's practice is their own and you should do what feels right to you while respecting that other people have their own beliefs (as long as they're not hateful).

Beginner Witch Starting Points

° . * • ☆ Research starting points ☆ • * . ° The following list is of topics that I believe are good research starting points for beginner witches. I've laid it out in a couple lists of what I consider the most important to research early down to things you may want to research depending on interests.

Important to research early

♡ How to read critically and cross-reference

> Research is huge in witchcraft, knowing how to find the right information and triple check it's not wrong is very important

♡ Witchcraft vs paganism

♡ History of witchcraft

♡ Open vs closed practices

♡ Cultural appropriation

♡ Discernment/Mundane vs magical

> Always ruling out mundane explanations or options before considering magical

♡ Types of witches

> Such as sea witches, kitchen witches, green witches

♡ Types of magic/practices

> Such as art magic, lunar magic, chaos magic

♡ Types of spells and rituals

> Such as spell jars, candle spells, sprays

♡ Basic spell work

> Such as cleansing, grounding, protection, warding

♡ Understanding Intention

♡ Altars and Tools

> Such as wands, tarot decks, bells

Researching interests

♡ The elements

♡ Symbols and sigils

♡ Item associations and correspondences

> Such as crystals, herbs, colours

♡ Dream interpretation

♡ Religions and deities

♡ Shadow work

♡ Whatever has caught your eye during researching so far, research some more

° . * • ☆ Practice starting points ☆ • * . °

As soon as you feel like you've got a good grasp on witchcraft, you'll want to start practising. With everything you've come across, it might prove overwhelming or confusing as to where to start. Some topics are more advanced than others and aren't considered beginner-friendly. Therefore, having practised and got a hold of some basics is a great way to begin your journey, and is always recommended by other practitioners. That way, if you accidentally step too deep too early, you're already equipped with the information, tools, and experience you need to look after yourself.

It's easy to get excited and rush through it to what you may truly want to do, however, I suggest practising the following topics until it becomes a habit and you can throw up protections and wards like second nature without any notes. It depends on how much time you can dedicate to this daily and whether there are any reasons you might have to slow down, such as being broom-closeted or having children. I would suggest 1 to 2 years overall for researching all the topics in-depth and practising it until you have at least one method of each nailed down confidently with no doubts in your ability or knowledge - and be honest with yourself on that.

Where to begin with practising witchcraft

♡ Grounding and meditation

♡ Cleansing

♡ Protection

♡ Circle casting

♡ Warding

♡ Enchanting items

° . * • ☆ Where to get information and resources ☆ • * . °

The internet is amazing for allowing people to write their own informational posts, blogs, and to make their own videos. Sometimes a simple google search for what you’re after will bring you loads of results, which is also why reading critically and being able to cross-reference is so important. You can find resources and information anywhere, such as:

♡ Youtube

♡ Tumblr

♡ Websites

♡ Books

> Ebooks, audiobooks, physical books

♡ Podcasts

♡ Pinterest infographics

♡ Discord servers

♡ Amino communities

This is an updated version of my old post https://thewitchinthecloset35.tumblr.com/post/656426177696874496/beginner-witch-friendly-research-points

Free Witchcraft Resources for Beginners

A couple months ago I made a post shouting out the fact that witchcraft doesn’t require any money to get started (or to be practiced, for that matter), and I had a few people ask me about what they can do that’s free, especially as a beginner, so I wrote up this post. I was lost and broke when I was getting started with my craft, and it was really difficult to find tips for beginners that weren’t just “buy these things!” I’m hoping this will be useful for people who are looking for a place to begin.

So. You’re interested in witchcraft and would like to find out more. Maybe you keep seeing those “crystals/herbs/books/etc. beginner witches should have” posts, and you’re frustrated, because you want to begin your practice, but don’t have the money for those supplies. I was once in that spot, and even now that I’m five years into my practice, I have rarely purchased any of the supplies witchtok deems to be fundamental. Here are some places you can begin instead. Let’s get started!

Info continues below.

Foundations

By foundations, I’m referring to things that aren’t explicitly witchcraft, but that I have found very beneficial within my own practice.

1. Before anything, I recommend asking yourself a simple question: why do I want to practice witchcraft, and what do I hope to get out of it? You may not know for sure yet, and your answer will likely change over time, but having some intentions going in can be helpful when you’re in the early stages of research. When I was starting out, I felt very overwhelmed by the amount of info out there, so if you have a bit of an idea of what you’re specifically interested in, that can be helpful to get you going.

2. Meditation: not all witches meditate, but a lot of the skills you develop through meditation can be helpful within witchcraft. You can try out secular meditation (apps like Balance and Headspace, as well as Insight Timer—the former has a mix of secular and spiritual meditations), or you can find a witchcraft-specific guided meditation on YouTube. For neurodivergent folks out there, I recommend looking into active meditation, which I’ve found to be quite beneficial for myself.

For me, it’s always important to remain grounded when I’m doing any spiritual practice, and meditation is a good skill you can work on to help with that. I also find that having a background in meditation can be really helpful later down the line when/if you are attempting visualization and/or astral projection, witch’s flight, and so forth.

3. Journaling: another thing that isn’t specifically witchcraft-related, but is an important skill to harness, on my opinion. To me, it’s crucial to be in touch with what I’m feeling (especially when it comes to doing spellwork), and journaling is one great way to do that. If you’re stuck and don’t know where to begin, look up witchcraft (or general) journal prompts on here or somewhere else. A lot of the ones that come up will be shadow work, which can be intense, so only do what feels comfortable for you.

I’d also like to note that automatic writing/drawing is an entirely free option if you’re interested in communing with spirits or deities. Essentially it involves getting into a trance-like state (usually in a dark room only lit by candlelight or similar—this is to avoid distractions) with a piece of paper and pen, and you write or draw everything that comes to your head without thinking about it. And then you go back and see what sort of messages you may be receiving. It’s a bit hard to explain and I’m not very experienced in it myself, but it’s something worth looking into if it sounds interesting to you!

4. Look at what you have, instead of what you don’t: a lot of beginner witch resources will list specific items that you should have, without really explaining why. And without that knowledge of how/why having an item is important, you might find your Must Have crystal sitting unused on a shelf somewhere. So instead of focusing on the items you want or feel like you should have, look at what you do have. Are there plants or herbs in your house/yard that you feel drawn to? Do you have a collection of cool rocks and stones? How do these items make you feel?

For me, a large part of my craft is my belief in Animism (the belief that all living things have innate spiritual qualities, like a soul, spirit, or specific energy) and this can play into the way you interact with the natural world if it’s a belief you also subscribe to. Try and feel the presence of a plant to see if it gives you any specific feeling. It does? Great! Now you have a correspondance for that plant. And it’s even better than the correspondances you’ll get in a book because it’s based on your own personal connection and intuition. That’s what is most important.

5. When in doubt, use your intuition. You might find a source that says cinnamon should be used for protection. Another will say it should be used for abundance spells. What matters the most is what you think about an herb/plant/stone/colour, or whatever else you may utilize. I recommend to start keeping a list of what you associate these things with. It can take awhile to build up a personalized list, but once you have one, it’ll be a lot more useful than what a correspondances book says to do.

6. Scour your pantry and get cooking: are you wanting to try out a spell but you haven’t bought the ingredients? Look in your pantry. You may be surprised by how many commonly used witchcraft herbs you find in there. And if you have been starting to associate certain herbs or spices with specific feelings or energies, that’s a great way to get started with creating your own spell.

You can do a spell in many ways, but when I was starting out, one of my favourite ways was to incorporate a certain herb or spice into food I made. Say you’re making a soup and maybe you want a bit of protection, so you add some ground pepper with the intention of that pepper protecting you as you stir it into the soup. Same goes for any other ingredient you’d like to use. A little intention goes a long way!

7. Dedicate your actions, time, or energy: if you’re interested at all in working with deities, ancestors, and other spirits but don’t have the time/space to build an altar—or maybe you aren’t sure how involved you want to be with this part of witchcraft—you can devote an action to the entity. This can be simple. For example, when I worked with Apollo, I would use taking my meds and vitamins as an act of devotion to him. This is an offering. And offerings can be anything you want them to be. They don’t have to be expensive or fancy!

It’s also important to note that you do not need to work with deities or spirits to be a witch. You don’t even have to believe in them. Many witches are atheists or don’t work with any deities at all. But for those who are interested, simple offerings can be a good place to start.

8. Practice energy work: in my view, energy work is the most important skill to learn for your craft, since so many things build off of it. And with energy work, you don’t need to spend any amount of money on it. All you need is yourself, your intuition, and anything else—I mean that quite literally, you can practice feeling the energy of other people, pets, trees, buildings, foods, socks, your favourite pen, and whatever else you think of!

Once you get to know the energy of the things around you, you can more effectively utilize them as tools within your practice (this builds off of the intuition point I made earlier).

For example, as a child I lived in a house that was surrounded by cedar trees. It was a place where I felt very safe. To this day, when I see or smell a cedar tree, I feel safe and protected. You can read this any way you’d like—to me it’s both a spiritual and psychological phenomenon—but this is one example of sensing energy.

As a witch, you can practice that skill and use it to get to know the tools you’d like to use within your own craft (the things that connect to you personally, not what you’re told you should connect with). This isn’t an easy skill by any means, so if it doesn’t come naturally to you, that’s perfectly okay!

For more on this subject, I recommend two books: Braiding Sweetgrass by Robin Kimmerer (more on animism in particular) and Psychic Witch by May Auryn (lots of exercises to practice working with and sensing energy).

Where to Go for Learning

After you’ve thought a bit about some of the above, or skipped it altogether if it doesn’t suit you, you’re probably wanting some good resources that will actually tell you how to do the witchcraft thing. But before that, I want to reiterate again that this is your practice, and you should only do what you are interested in. So take what you want and leave what you don’t.

I’m going to point you in three primary directions for learning good information: books, podcasts, and YouTube.

But first, I want to issue a massive disclaimer for the YouTube information (and some books, for that matter). You should not have one sole source for your information. Books that have bibliographies are always the most trustworthy sources. And even though I trust the information coming from the YouTubers I’ll mention—especially because I’ve read similar information in several witchcraft books—don’t take their word at face-value. Be critical of what you’re told. Believe what you believe. This is a skill you’ll learn over time. It can be a bit overwhelming at first, but it will get easier to discern what’s good info vs. bad info, over time.

Before you get started, I highly recommend watching this helpful video by HearthWitch with info on how to vet your witchcraft sources: link.

Books

In my view, books are the Best source of information, period. Anyone can publish an article or video online, but not everyone can publish a book. So there tends to be a bit more reliable info in witchcraft books.

As far as knowing what book you should begin with, there are lots of lists out there for beginners, and I recommend just looking at one of those lists and picking what sounds interesting to you. Take what you like and leave what you don’t.

Most of the YouTubers I’ve listed below have videos recommending books for beginners.

If you’re interested in British folk witchcraft, I started out with Folk Witchcraft by Roger J. Horne and it was a brilliant beginners guide that I recommend to anyone who is interested in that branch of witchcraft.

As always, while you read witchcraft books, be critical of the information you are presented with. Unfortunately, lots of witchcraft books (especially the classic ones) can be rooted in concepts like bioessentialism, colonialism, and racism. My recommendation is to not take any author’s word as gospel and to use your critical thinking skills when reading witchcraft books.

Where I live, books are EXPENSIVE. And when you’re just starting out in your practice, you might not have the money or ability to go out and buy a book just yet. Maybe you’re still unsure if witchcraft is right for you. Or maybe you’re in the “broom closet.” Whatever the reason, here are some free places to find books.

1. The public library: a bit obvious, but a great resource to look at, because you never know what your library might have. Libraries are the best. And entirely free!

2. Library apps like Libby or Overdrive: especially helpful if you don’t want to bring home a physical witchcraft book, or if your branch doesn’t have any copies of what you’re looking for. You can also get some audiobooks on there.

3. Archive.org: aka the web archive. Entirely free and entirely legal, this works as an online library service where you can check out a book for a bit of time right from your computer. Sometimes you can download PDFs as well. I’ve found a lot of my favourite witchcraft books on there, so if you have a specific title in mind, search it there.

YouTube

First, as a bit of a caveat before recommending you to watch YouTube videos on witchcraft: in my view, books are the best source of information for any witch, as they are able to contain a large degree of nuanced and research-informed information. But books aren’t a simple solution for everyone, and I’ve learned a lot from informed YouTubers over the years (in fact, like many witches, I was first exposed to witchcraft via Harmony Nice on YouTube!).

I’m including a list here of witch YouTubers that I personally recommend because I have found that their content aligns with information I have read in books and other research-informed sources over the years, and because I find them to be generally reliable.

I want to note here that this list is rather biased, as I tend to watch witchcraft YouTubers whose practices mirror my own in some ways. So most of these practitioners have practices informed by European folk witchcraft, and are not very diverse as a result. If any practitioners have further recommendations to add on, especially for practitioners of colour and practices that are different from mine, please do so!

My recommendations:

ChaoticWitchAunt: folk witchcraft, specifically in the Italian tradition, some great beginner content, info on working with saints and spirits.

TheWitchOfWonderlust: death magic, spellwork, great beginner content, lots of excellent info on working with spirits.

HearthWitch: truly a well of information on British witchcraft, beginner videos on any topic you can think of, q&a livestreams, and there’s even a video on vetting witchcraft sources that I really recommend for beginners.

The Redheaded Witch: folk witchcraft and folklore, spirit and ancestor work, daily witchcraft ideas, some beginner videos.

TheGreenWitch: such an excellent resource for herbal/green witchcraft, videos on spellwork, ingredients, tools, and more.

Mintfaery: lots of beginner information, videos on working with the fae, nature witchcraft, and lots of fun witchy days in the life.

Ella Harrison: German folk witchcraft, great beginner resources, including some more niche traditional craft topics like witch’s ladders.

The Norse Witch: info on Norse witchcraft and Heathenry, Norse paganism, and some content about astrology.

simplywitched: lots of great everyday witchcraft content, pagan witchcraft, more vlog style.

Warrior Witch Nike: witchy book reviews, paganism, deity work, some astrology content.

Mhara Starling: the place to go for anyone interested in Welsh witchcraft and folk magic related to Wales.

Alwyn Oak: lots of witch’s guides, especially relating to sabbats (those popularized in Wicca), forest witchcraft, gorgeous videos.

Ivy The Occultist: chaos magick and lots of interviews with practitioners from a variety of paths/backgrounds.

Shadow Harvest: personal day in the life witchy content, some videos looking at working with dark goddesses and deity work in general.

Note: some of these YouTubers have written their own witchcraft books geared towards beginners, so if you enjoy their videos and want to learn more, check those out.

Podcasts

The Astrology Podcast: not specifically witchcraft, but if you want to learn about astrology in detail, this is an excellent place to begin. Link goes to YouTube.

Books and Broomsticks: all kinds of good info, especially pertaining to folk magic, witch guests invited on to share more about their own practice. Link goes to Spotify.

Southern Bramble: A Podcast of Crooked Ways: a variety of witchcraft related topics, interviews, and discussions, often revolving around folk magic and traditional craft—interviews show different traditions. Link goes to Spotify.

New World Witchery - The Search for American Traditional Witchcraft: what it says on the tin; various topics and conversations through an American traditional/folk magic lens by the author of the (amazing) book with the same name. Link goes to Spotify.

Salty Witches Podcast by Cat & Cauldron: traditional witchcraft through a modern lens, another podcast that has a wide variety of topics covered. Link goes to Spotify.

—

As always, if anyone has any additional (free!) resources to add onto these ones, please do so.

Good luck to all of the beginner witches who are embarking on their spiritual journeys, and I hope some of these tips have been helpful! :)

-Em

reblog if you’ve read fanfictions that are more professional, better written than some actual novels. I’m trying to see something