love love love the idea of being at a dinner party and sitting next to your lover. he whispers gossip into your ear while everyone is deep in conversation. kisses your neck and bites you ever so lightly. inhales your scent and kisses your cheek afterwards. holds your hand once the plates have been cleared from the table and kisses your knuckles every five minutes. wraps his arm around your waist as you’re saying goodbye
He’s like if a turtle made a wish to become human
maybe i was made for loving things. maybe that's what life is all about.
jack seems to be so composed in your writing, especially during sex. is there ever a scenario you could see him maybe losing control/composure during?
Oh, definitely—Jack’s composure isn’t just habit, it’s armor. But under the right pressure? He’ll break. And when he does, it won’t be loud or reckless—it’ll be raw. Quiet.
Here’s where I think he’d lose control—physically, emotionally, or both. 18+ ONLY. Do not interact if you’re a minor.
warnings/content: rough sex, deep emotional repression, emotionally charged confessions, unprotected sex, dom/sub energy without labels, messy pacing, loss of control, clingy post-sex silence
You shouldn’t be here.
Not after what you said. Not after the door slammed. Not after you’d spent the past few nights curled under someone else’s blanket on someone else’s couch, trying to forget how his voice sounded when he didn’t ask you to stay.
But it’s raining, and you’re here. And Jack opens the door like he knew you’d be on the other side.
Still, he doesn’t say anything. He just stares.
His gray curls were tousled, flattened at the sides like he’d been dragging a hand through them too many times. The shirt he’s wearing is soft, white, the collar stretched, the hem sitting uneven over a pair of sweats. He stood still, but not at ease—his weight angled slightly, one leg bearing just a little more than the other. The prosthetic stayed grounded, subtle in its silence, like something his body adjusted to without thinking—something you’d learned to notice only when he was this still.
He looks tired.
He looks like he hasn’t been able to stop thinking.
You speak first. Quiet. “Can I come in?”
He nods, barely. His jaw twitches like it pains him not to reach for you.
You toe off your shoes in the entryway. The house smells like coffee, antiseptic, and whatever candle you left half-burned in the kitchen—still faint in the air, like the memory of your warmth hasn’t fully left.
He closes the door behind you. Doesn’t move.
The silence between you presses down—thick and unfinished.
“I wasn’t sure you’d open the door,” you say first. Voice quiet. Uncertain.
Jack huffs through his nose. Not a laugh. Not quite. “I wasn’t sure I should.”
Your voice drops. “I didn’t come to keep fighting.”
“I didn’t think you did,” he says. Then, after a pause: “But you did leave.”
You nod, once. “I left. You shut down. Not that different.”
It lands. He doesn’t argue. Doesn’t deflect. Just stands there, still, eyes locked on yours like there’s more he wants to say but no good way to say it. He breathes out, sharp at the edges, and you know—it got through.
“I didn’t know what else to do,” he says.
You nod again. “Neither did I.”
It hangs there for a moment—we hurt each other. We didn’t mean to. But we did.
Then finally, you say it. Not softly, not dramatically. Just truthfully.
“I missed you.”
And that—that—is what breaks him.
His hand’s in your hair before you can breathe. His mouth finds yours—desperate, uneven, like the words he didn’t say are still stuck in his throat and this is the only way to let them out. Not polished. Not careful. Starving.
He's everywhere—your jaw, your waist, the small of your back—like he doesn’t know what to hold onto first. His body crowds into yours, chest to chest, thigh slipping between yours without finesse, without warning. It isn’t about sex. It’s about contact. Closeness. Like he’s trying to fit both of you back into the same breath.
“Jack,” you whisper, lips brushing his. “Hey—”
He kisses you harder.
“I can’t—” His voice breaks at your throat. “I can’t do that again. I can’t watch you leave and pretend it didn’t fucking gut me.”
Your hands find his chest first—flat against the worn fabric, fingers curling into it like you’re trying to steady both of you. He’s burning beneath it. You slip your palms beneath the hem, not tugging, just touching, just wanting—a wordless way to say me neither.
“I’m not going anywhere,” you breathe.
That’s when something in him gives.
He grabs the back of your shirt and pulls it off, fast and clumsy. His own shirt’s gone next—tossed to the floor. You catch a glimpse of the scar trailing along his ribs, but he doesn’t flinch, doesn’t slow.
His hands move to your waistband, not asking. Just moving. Just needing. He drags your pants down with both hands, catching your underwear with them, tugging hard until they’re off and forgotten on the floor. Then his hands are back on you—raking up your thighs, gripping the curve of your hips.
You start to reach for him, but he’s already gathering you into his arms—like instinct took over before thought could catch up. You cling to him without hesitation, arms winding around his shoulders, legs locking at his waist. He carries you down the hall without a word, without pause, like getting you to the bed is the only thing anchoring him now.
He lays you back on the bed and follows you down.
No teasing. No pause.
Just Jack—pressing into you, one hand bracing beside your head, the other guiding himself between your legs. You’re already wet. Already open. And when he pushes in—deep, slow, all at once—his breath leaves him in a broken exhale.
He stills.
Not to tease. Not to hold back.
Because it wrecks him.
He lowers his head, jaw clenched tight, arms shaking with restraint. You feel him tremble above you—one, sharp tremor—and then he starts to move.
Not rhythmically.
Not smoothly.
Just fucking desperate.
Every thrust is erratic, forceful, like he’s been holding this back for days, weeks. He can’t find a pace. He can’t breathe through it. He’s rutting into you like it’s the only way to stay grounded. Like it’s the only place he knows how to be.
Your fingers dig into his shoulders and he doesn’t pull away. Doesn’t slow down. He presses his forehead into your neck—sweat damp, teeth clenched. He makes no sound. But you feel it.
The unraveling. The shudder in his hips. The way he drives deeper, harder, chasing something even he doesn’t have words for.
And when he comes—he doesn’t curse. Doesn’t groan.
He just breaks.
Whole body locking up. A silent, shuddering gasp against your skin. Hands gripping too tight. Hips stuttering through the aftershock.
And then stillness.
He stays inside you.
Doesn’t move.
Just breathes—shallow and wrecked—his weight braced against your chest like it’s the only thing keeping him from falling further.
He’s lying on the bed, propped against the headboard. Bare chest rising slow and steady like he’s trying not to let the day get to him.
And then you crawl into his lap.
No warning. No words. Just your body over his, thighs straddling his hips, your skin barely covered by the oversized shirt he left folded on your side of the bed. His shirt. Still carrying his scent.
His hands move automatically—to your waist, to the back of your thigh—but you push them back. Gently. Firmly.
“Let me,” you whisper.
His brow lifts—only a little. The only sign of tension is the flicker in his jaw, the way his thigh shifts beneath you. But he doesn’t stop you.
You lean in, kiss his collarbone, run your hands over his chest, the scars and the muscle and the years of wear he never talks about. You don’t rush. You don’t ask. You just slide your hand lower—over his stomach, beneath the waistband of his sweats—and wrap your fingers around him.
That’s the moment he falters.
His head drops back against the headboard. His mouth falls open. One of his hands fists the sheet beside him, the other grips your hip—tight, like he needs something to hold onto. He bucks up into your hand once, twice, breath caught in his throat.
“Don’t—” he rasps. “Don’t tease.”
You do.
You stroke him slow, deliberate, watching the tension build in every part of him—his abs flexing, his breath shortening, the way his eyes shut like he’s fighting not to give in. You feel him throb against your palm, hot and heavy and helpless in your grip. He’s panting now, voice shredded when he tries to speak.
And when you finally slide down onto him?
He gasps—sharp and strangled. His hips jerk upward and he catches himself on instinct, trying not to lose it too fast. But you ride him with control, your hands braced on his chest, grinding down slow and deep until he’s twitching inside you, his voice stuck in his throat.
His hands fly to your hips again, gripping hard, trying to hold you still. You lean down, brush your mouth against his ear.
“Let go.”
And he does.
He flips you onto your back, his mouth crashing into yours, and drives into you with everything he’s been trying not to feel. No rhythm—just need. His voice is raw when he breaks, forehead pressed to yours, thrusting so deep you swear you’re going to come undone from the inside out.
“You wanted to see me lose it,” he growls, breathless. “Here.”
And he fucks you like it’s not just sex—it’s relinquishing. It’s him, undone.
He doesn’t say a word when he comes in. Just shuts the door, tosses his keys somewhere near the counter, and disappears down the hallway like the house is too loud, even in silence. You hear the shower.
By the time the mattress dips behind you, you’re barely awake.
But then you feel it—his hand. Heavy. Flat against your thigh beneath the sheets. He doesn’t trail it up, doesn’t ask, just presses. Like he needs to know you’re warm. Real.
You shift toward him, barely murmuring his name—and he’s already on top of you. No words. No preamble. Just his body moving over yours like a weight he can’t hold anymore. His mouth finds your shoulder first—open, hot. Not a kiss. Just breath and teeth. Desperation.
His hands work fast. Pulling your sleep shorts down, dragging your legs apart with his palms wide on the inside of your thighs. Breath stuttering as he fits the head of his cock between your folds.
And then he pushes in.
Deep. All the way. In one solid thrust that stretches you wide and makes your whole body jolt. You gasp, clutching his forearms—but he doesn’t move. Not yet.
He just stays. Buried to the base, forehead resting against yours, his body trembling with restraint.
“Jack…” you whisper.
His jaw is clenched tight. Breath shaking. His hands grip your hips hard—too hard—but you don’t stop him. You don’t want to. You know this isn’t about rhythm or foreplay. This is him trying not to break.
And then he starts to move.
It’s not fast. Not sloppy. It’s intentional. Each thrust deep and full, grinding into you like he’s trying to anchor himself inside your body. You feel every inch of him dragging slow and thick through your cunt, your breath catching every time his hips meet yours.
His arms cage you in. His mouth is at your throat, hot and wet and lost. Not saying anything—just making small, broken sounds against your skin.
You moan his name again, and that’s what shatters him.
He pulls out almost all the way and slams back in, the sound obscene, wet, raw. You cry out. He doesn’t pause.
Again. Harder.
He’s shaking now—his abs tensing under your hands, his breath rasping in short, uneven bursts as he fucks you harder, deeper, wrecklessly, like something gave out inside him and there’s no pulling it back.
You feel him pulse inside you before you hear the sound he makes—low, guttural, broken. His whole body tightens, chest pressed to yours as he comes hard, buried deep, cock throbbing with each wave as he empties into you, mouth open against your collarbone, completely silent now.
He stays inside you. Breathing. Not moving. One hand slides up your side and stays there.
You don’t ask what happened at the hospital.
You just hold him like he’s still unraveling.
Because he is.
He’s already fucking you when it happens—slow, deep, focused. Jack above you, heavy with control, arms braced tight on either side of your head. His chest brushes yours with every roll of his hips, thick and steady, cock sliding in slow and hot with the kind of precision that only comes from someone who never lets himself get carried away.
He doesn’t talk much during sex. Just the occasional sharp breath, a low curse when you clench around him. Mostly silence. Measured. Like everything else he does.
His body covers yours completely—his weight, his warmth, the subtle difference in how he shifts to keep balance—but there’s nothing hesitant about the way he moves. He knows your body, knows how to make you fall apart. He just rarely lets himself need it.
Tonight’s no different.
Until you say it.
“I love the way you fuck me,” you breathe—first, casual. And he grunts, lips brushing your jaw, pace unchanging.
But then: “I love you.” “I mean it.” “I want all of you.”
That stops him.
Not entirely. His hips stall mid-thrust, chest tight against yours, his jaw locked so hard you feel it in the weight of his breath. His cock throbs inside you, thick and full and unmoving.
You cup the side of his face—fingers slow, tender—and say it again.
“I mean it, Jack. I want you. All of you. Not just this.”
He exhales through his nose—sharp. Controlled. Like he’s trying to fight the way that lands. You feel it in the way his arm flexes. In the way his cock twitches inside you, untouched and aching.
Then suddenly—he moves.
Faster. Rougher.
He drives into you like something cracked, like if he keeps fucking you hard enough, he can shake the words out of his head.
But it’s too late.
They’re already inside him.
He fucks you with his whole body—thrusts rough and deep, every stroke dragging moans from your throat as he hits you just right. Your thighs are hooked around his waist, back arching into him, nails raking down his shoulders as he starts to unravel.
“You don’t know what you’re saying,” he mutters, voice hoarse and close to ruined.
“I do,” you gasp, holding onto him tighter. “Jack, look at me.”
He does.
And his rhythm falters the second your eyes meet.
“I love you,” you whisper.
His whole body stutters.
He growls—actually growls, low and guttural—as he drives into you harder than before, pace snapping, control slipping completely. You feel him start to lose it—his hips jerking, cock throbbing so deep inside you it makes your vision go white. He’s there, on the edge, and trying not to be.
You dig your heels into his back and pull him closer. “Don’t hold it in.”
His eyes flutter shut. His mouth crushes to yours, desperate, brutal, all tongue and teeth. His thrusts go ragged—sloppy and devastated—until he buries himself fully and groans, deep and wrecked, as he comes inside you.
You feel every pulse, hot and thick, his cock twitching deep inside your cunt as his whole body jerks. His arms are shaking. His breath is gone.
And still—he doesn't move.
Just stays there, pressed full length against you, forehead buried in your neck like if he lifts his head, he’ll say something he can’t take back.
#for science
PEDRO PASCAL in Gladiator II (2024) dir. Ridley Scott
PEDRO PASCAL at the ‘Die, My Love’ after party at Cannes
HAPPY 50TH BIRTHDAY PEDRO PASCAL! 2nd of April 1975
Currently watching my 401k spiral in real time is making me spiral 😭