ethanlaundrv

Latest Posts by ethanlaundrv

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Too hot to handle. - Jake Peralta.

I can hardly ever find anything good to read about him, so HERE IS A TRY! Hope y’all like it!

The first time you stepped into the precinct, Jake Peralta had made some stupid joke about hazing new detectives. You had immediately shot back with something just as ridiculous, and it was like watching a cartoon character glitch out. He blinked at you, stunned, and then grinned so widely it looked painful.

Since then, it had been a running joke that you were the only person who could truly keep up with his humor. Which, of course, meant that he was obsessed with trying to outwit you. The two of you were constantly paired together on cases because of how well you worked in the field. Or, as Rosa had put it, “because nobody else wants to deal with you two idiots for longer than five minutes.”

But it was also complicated. Jake never wanted to admit how well you clicked. He made everything a competition, which was fine, because so did you. But anytime things started getting even remotely real—like the time you had patched up a nasty scrape on his shoulder after a foot chase, or when you had fallen asleep on his couch after a movie night—he immediately reverted back to making jokes.

Tonight’s mission was supposed to be easy. Surveillance. You and Jake were supposed to sit in an unmarked car, watching the entrance of a shady bar where a known arms dealer was meeting with a potential buyer. There was no need for any heroics, no need for either of you to go undercover. Just watch, take notes, and report back.

Naturally, that meant you and Jake were going to be stuck in close quarters, which had never been a problem before. Except that lately, there had been a shift in the way he looked at you. A flicker of something behind the humor, something bordering on dangerous.

Jake was lounging in the driver’s seat, fiddling with the radio as he spoke. “Alright, so how long do you think we’ll be here before something exciting happens? Because I give it fifteen minutes before we start making hand puppets with the flashlights again.”

You snorted, settling back in your seat. “Let’s be real. You’ll start doing the puppets, and I’ll be the audience that pretends to be unimpressed.”

Jake gasped dramatically. “You love my puppet shows! You said Gary the Giraffe had ‘real emotional depth’—”

“That was sarcasm, Peralta.”

“Yeah, well, sarcasm is just love in disguise.” He waggled his eyebrows, and you rolled your eyes.

The street outside was quiet. The bar was bustling, but none of the people going in and out matched the photos of the suspects. It was going to be a long night.

You stretched, arching your back slightly. Out of the corner of your eye, you noticed Jake go very still.

Interesting.

You decided to test the waters. “Man, I hate these stakeouts. It’s always the same. Sitting around, waiting for something that never happens.”

Jake cleared his throat. “Yeah, well, you say that now, but last time we got free tacos out of it.”

“That guy was bribing us to leave.”

“A bribe’s just a gift with extra steps.”

You turned to him, catching the way his eyes flicked to your face before darting away. He was fidgeting more than usual, drumming his fingers on the steering wheel.

“Alright, spill. What’s up with you?”

“W-what? Nothing. I am completely normal. A hundred percent Jake, baby!”

You raised an eyebrow. “You just called yourself ‘Jake, baby.’”

“I did?” He winced. “Cool, cool, cool, no doubt, no doubt.”

It was painfully obvious now. He was nervous. You tilted your head. “Jake.”

“Yeah?”

“You’re acting weird.”

“Incorrect. I am always weird.”

“Weirder than usual.”

He hesitated, then let out a dramatic sigh. “Fine. You got me. It’s just—look, I’m a detective, okay? My job is to observe. And I have observed that you’re, like...annoyingly hot.”

You blinked. “What?”

Jake groaned, running a hand down his face. “Ugh, I knew this would be embarrassing, but I didn’t think it would be this embarrassing. Look, I’m just saying, it’s very distracting. You exist, and it’s ruining my life.”

You bit back a smile. “Wow. That’s a lot of feelings you just dumped on me in a surveillance van.”

Jake pointed at you. “Don’t deflect. I know you feel it too.”

You stared at him for a long moment, weighing your options.

And then, because you never backed down from a challenge, you grabbed his jacket and kissed him.

Jake made a startled sound before immediately melting into it. His hand slid up to cup your face, and holy shit, he was good at this. His lips were soft, but the way he kissed you was anything but gentle—like he had been holding back for a long time.

When you finally pulled away, he was breathless. “Okay. Okay. That happened. Cool. Just gonna—” He pressed his palms against the steering wheel and exhaled. “Gonna need a second to reboot my brain.”

You smirked. “Reboot faster. The target just arrived.”

Jake snapped back to reality, sitting up straight. “Oh. Right. Crime.” He glanced at you again, grinning. “We should probably talk about this later.”

“Probably.”

“Like, after we finish this case.”

“Mhm.”

“But just for the record,” he added, “you are absolutely too hot for me to handle.”

You laughed, shaking your head. “And yet, here we are.”

Jake grinned. “Yeah. Here we are.”

ANDY SAMBERG

Football Town (2005)

SCHOOL SPIRITS | 2.05 Ghost Who’s Coming to Dinner

Pineapple|Wally Clark

Summary: A debate with your boyfriend on whether pineapple belongs on pizza

Fem!ReaderxAlive!WallyClark

Warnings: Fluff, cursing, might be cringe, not proof read😭

“Wally get that thing away from me” The girl gagged “Thing? It’s just pizza” Wally laughed “with pineapple on it! That’s literally a war crime” She attempts to move away from Wally and his disgrace of a pizza

“Just try it” The boy pushed his body back towards his girlfriend “No Clark” Her arms crossed in protest “Ok then…what pizza do you have?” He asked “cheese” the pineapple hating girl took a bite of her pizza

“What?! That’s so boring, I thought we were trying new things this year” He reminded her “Not disgusting things!” His girlfriend protested

Wally loved the playful banter he and his girlfriend had at times. Especially when it came to food. He just liked to hear her talk and her opinions on food were strong.

He liked olives and she thought they were repulsive, he hated pickles but she loved them, Wally loved tomatoes but his girlfriend loathed them.

“Pineapple pizza is better than pickles are” Wally smiled in a teasing manner “Wally Clark you take that back right now” The girl’s jaw completely dropped as Wally shook his head no

“They’re gross!” I attempted to hide his laughter my stuffing pizza in his mouth as his girlfriend went on a whole rant on why pickles are good

I mean a whole rant.

Then she suddenly stopped.

“I was ranting wasn’t I?” She stopped. Wally nodded “It’s cute though” He leans back on to the pillows that reside on the girls pink comforter

“What?” She chuckled “that’s why I start these little debates, you get all passionate about your opinion and start talking but that’s good because I love to hear your voice” He says

“Wally!” She playfully smacks his shoulder “you’re lucky I love you” The girl gently rests her head on her boyfriend’s shoulder “I love you too…but not more than this pineapple pizza” He joked which caused another fit of laughter amongst the young teenage couple.

Is anyone else curious about Wally and Mr. Martins face combining in the opening credits? They are the only ones that do.

I am not apologizing for the person i become tomorrow.

(I’m staying up all night for this)

me

it’s a joke, or is it?

i forgot how much i love taylor swift

Behind the scenes of American Horror Story: Murder House (Tate being gunned down by the SWAT team)

And the best ahs character reward goes to.....

Hallie !!!!

how this seasonal depression is hitting me

“I'm not naive to the ways of men. Their need to objectify, conquer. They see what they want to see. Women, however, see into the soul of a person.”

thank you @geooo0o for the req <333

me and my violet exact ✌️

ive been getting better can i get worse again

Me when the teacher calls on me but I was thinking of the ahs episode I watched last night

Hiii it's jazz-berry, my original account got deleted so I'm trying to find all of my moots <3

Aw i’m so sorry to hear that! Glad we found eachother lol, good luck!!! 🫶🫶

i hope tate and violet enjoy their date ♡

evan peters evan peters evan peters evan peters evan peters evan peters evan peters evan peters evan peters evan peters evan peters evan peters evan peters evan peters evan peters evan peters evan peters evan peters evan peters evan peters evan peters evan peters evan peters evan peters evan peters evan peters evan peters evan peters evan peters evan peters evan peters evan peters evan peters evan peters evan peters evan peters evan peters evan peters evan peters evan peters evan peters evan peters evan peters evan peters evan peters evan peters evan peters evan peters evan peters evan peters

“You can’t be your best self until you find your tribe” - Misty Day

ALSO if you guys love me follow my tiktok 😉

@hollywoodhireholly

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made by me via instagram 😋

#be there or be square

realistically could i pull tate langdon

included the side profile and everything

"Riding around the block with you, it's so autumn, just like a dream come true"

My husband is so creative <3

need to see kai anderson and ralph bohner have a paranoia-off