Today Was Crunch Day And Was Finished Off With The First Anxiety Attack Of The Semester... Heheh So Much

The current view from my desk 🌱

me making another post for my 12 followers knowing that it will get approximately 4 notes

This is my only good 2020 reference hahaha

Are you nearsighted, farsighted, or do you have good vision? 👁 Personally, I am nearsighted like most people are 👓 But my spectacle power is not that high so I can still go through my day without the need of wearing glasses. How about you? 🧡

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By an absolute miracle my gold capella schefflera bounced back from a fungal infection that it had at a grocery store. I had told my sister I wanted a yucca plant/tree whatever for my graduation/birthday gift. She panicked and grabbed my tree, which I named Ray. He's now been in my care for a little over 2.5 years 💚

Yike

Don't buy grocery store plants

This semester needs to end 😫😢😓

Dark, light, grey, and science

Lmao I'm a mess 😂

academia types ✨✨

dark academia: you have 3 copies of to Kill a Mockingbird, you won't shut up your current obsession, you were too shy to answer questions in class even though you knew every answer. despite being super capable, you still wing a lot of tasks. also self-care but make it ~ edgy ~.

light academia: you're the teachers pet, but like in a good way? you probably tried to learn an instrument like the flute in school but haven't played it since, always holding iced coffee, works way better in an Organised Study Group with like minded pals.

pastel academia: all the coloured highlighters imaginable, and the neatest handwriting? studying anywhere BUT their room (cute café yes please), if you're nice to them they will fall in love with you, you probably haven't seen their natural hair colour.

grey academia: takes lots of notes but can they read them?, cried listening to Greta Thunberg in 1975's song, "gender is a social construct", surprisingly good at time management, probably short and angry, constantly trying to tell their parents how to be "woke."

classic academia: your cat is your best friend, always dreamt about having a bookstore café when you were older, definitely participating in goodreads reading challenge, you shock friends on your ability to always sleep on time, quiet until people get to know you (and discover you're ~quirky~)

science academia: you are not capable of liking things casually: it's all or nothing, constantly complaining about how difficult your subjects are but knowing this is exactly what you want to do, well practiced at pulling all-nighters, probably got some sort of nerdy/edgy tattoo.

I felt so unproductive, depressed, stressed, and distracted today. I'm overwhelmed. I dropped a stats class yesterday (first time ever doing that) because

1) I no longer want to minor in stats

2) I truly couldn't understand the lecturer

3) the course didn't closely follow a textbook.

It wasn't her accent, I had absolutely no issue with that, but her slides just didn't make any sense. There were no sample data or pictures or diagrams and even the formulas didn't make sense (instead of sub scripts she would just put random punctuation afterwards). I gave it a valid shot for two classes, but it was clear we weren't a good match. I'm now enrolled in a comp class (counts towards my degree), but I'm so incredibly anxious. Writing stresses me out so much. I also think that my university doesn't do a good job with their composition courses. I finally got a copy of the syllabus and textbook, and I'm going to be rereading and rewriting about essays I saw in 10th grade Accelerated English. I feel anxious even though I have already done this. I have a lot to improve on, which is painfully obvious, but it doesn't sound like this course will help me. Also, I'm now about 1.5 weeks behind in that course. I needed today to be productive, but my mother called and brought up some touchy stuff and I got all blown out. Anywho... here's what I got through (1/3 of what I needed to do)

• read ch. 1 for reading in the content areas

• read ch. 3 for reading in the content areas

• digested a pre-recorded presentation + took notes

• explored some cool vocabulary sites for teaching K-12 (mostly elementary if we're being honest) (it's very very important to teach literacy in all grades for all subjects but my university kind of drops the ball with high school / secondary ages)

• did 2 loads of wash

• actually put away my clothing

• saw my sis and it was a little cathartic to talk about how messed up my mom is and what we went through but also bothered me a lot

...And with that I'm gonna go to bed and hopefully tomorrow I feel a bit better and can get some more stuff done considering all the due dates coming up 🤞