Y’know How Big Dogs Aren’t Used To Being Big So They Try To Sit Where They Could When They Were Puppies?

DP x DC prompt - Mr. Fenton and His Magic School Bus

I’ve seen a lot of posts where there is unhinged science teacher Danny and people compare him to Ms. Frizzle.

But what if it can actually happen?

Like Fenton-Tech is weird enough and Danny (as Ghost King) would have access to all the tech and magic across all dimensions. Not to mention he has a good relationship with someone who is essentially the Lord of Time.

So imagine Gotham Academy Teacher Danny who believes in practical experience and/or first-hand experience.

Mix in a bit of Fenton-tech here, a bit of time magic there and you have a class full of high schoolers who have witnessed things.

It’s a toss up whether people believe them or not because thanks to Clockwork, no time has actually passed when they left.

it’s a general consensus that batman’s cape is a bigger dimension in the inside where all the little batlings hide but: how do they all move?

do they:

• cling onto batman’s body like a koala?

• do a lil shuffle waltz and waddle with every step?

• wear heelies/ roller skates so they just slide as they cling onto batman’s body?

how it feels finding a cool base location in minecraft

The Cullens as Animals

I’m sick of people saying bella waking up screaming from nightmares and sitting in her chair for months is too “dramatic” and that breakups aren’t that big of a deal when she clearly exhibits behaviors linked to ptsd which is a real and serious thing

   In relation to dragons, especially those posts about their monocular vision, I’d like to pitch a fantasy concept here-  

  The usual view of dragon riders is that the riders get a lot out of it and dragons, eh, dragons get something. Something intangible and ill defined and usually not a good enough reason to really justify it.

  But what about dragons that bond with humans because humans offer a massive tactical advantage.

   Okay, say you’re some scrawny fucking dragon. And like, you’re not doing bad for yourself- 40 feet of well armored fire breathing death does pretty decently by definition- but in the pecking order of dragons, you’re pretty low. You get your ass kicked if you try to challenge any big players.

  And then one day you come upon this human- this weird fucker out in the middle of the woods yelling nonsense and you’re fine to move along but all of a sudden there’s a huge pull on the natural energy around you and you get whacked with this surge of light-

  And you’ve mind melded with the fucker.

 You’re both trying to figure out what’s going on, and all of a sudden, of course, rolls in a bigger dragon who’s going to beat the shit out of you for being in their territory.

  So you’re trying to fly away, this human is clinging to you like their life depends on it, this bigger dragon is trying to kill you. It’s a bad day. But the human scrambles up on top of you and you realize, hey, for some reason you can see out of their eyes. You’ve got near 360 degree monocular vision (which you’re used to) but now like 100 degrees of super sharp depth perception on top of that. Which is actually letting you dodge a lot better. And you’re thinking faster- you can hear- feel?- the humans thoughts, and they’re pretty fast and smart thinkers too.

   So you’re actually, now, suddenly turning the tables on this fight. The other dragon is bigger but now that’s working against them because your increased vision and reaction time lend themselves to speed. And then there’s this huge fucking pull on your energy, like massive- and a fucking lightning bolt shoots out and whacks the other dragon out of the sky. Like, oh, dragon-jesus, that’s what humans can do with magic?

   So all of a sudden, you have this tiny squishy meatbag that’s transformed you from bottom of the pecking order to Top Dragon In Town because you have better vision and reflexes and you can use them as a locus for precise magical spells by mind melding with this tiny punk.

   So of course you sit down and figure out how the fuck you melded in the first place and do it again. And dragon society is transformed, because now it favors the most social dragons, the ones able to mind-meld with humans the best. Because those ones get massive tactical advantages. So having human riders makes actual fucking sense. It’s basically a matter of survival.   

Danny knew that by joining the justice league that he would occasionally be called in to do missions and that was fine, he knew that it was a necessary thing. Where the problem lies however were the partners he got assigned with on the mission, and they themselves weren't really that hard to deal with either however, where the real problem with them lies is that for some reason all the heroes he gets paired up with either had lightning/electricity powers or mainly fought with electric weapons. And that's a really difficult, personal and uncomfortable issue to explain

ooo i dig this sm. The characters that I immediately thought of that would be really interesting to be with Danny in this situation: Static Shock, Shazam, or Kid Flash. How do you tell your partner that you are scared of them because you died via electrocution? Where do you even start? Danny doesn't know.

Traces of coca and nicotine found in Egyptian mummies - WTF fun facts

Newborn Army Lives

Victoria and Riley picked people (mostly teenagers) that nobody would miss for their army. They all had been dealt a shitty hand in life. Is it me or is that extremely out of character for the Cullens to brutally murder a bunch of brainwashed kids? And the Volturi’s actions didn’t make any sense either.

Also, we’re never given an exact number but from what I counted on the wiki eighteen newborns were named in The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner so I just added another eighteen.

so…thirty-six bouncing baby vampires!

So here’s what I propose:

The Cullens don’t kill the newborns. They incapacitate them. Yes, there is still the epic battle and the newborns have been ripped apart (which is traumatic and the Cullens feel bad but it was necessary) but they’re not burned.

They don’t dismember Bree

She’ll be used as a witness

The Volturi swoop in and the Cullens present the bodies of Victoria and Riley

Jane interrogates/tortures Bree to get information

Learns that none of them knew anything about the laws

The fact that the newborns are in pieces and not ashes aren’t lost on the Volturi

Jane makes the comment about the Volturi not giving second chances

Which is bullshit because the newborns never even got their first chance

Jane agrees to allow the newborns to live. The caveat being that for one year starting on that battlefield the Cullens are responsible for the newborns

Meaning that if any one of them step one toe out of line they’ll rain down hell upon their heads

Jane didn’t do this out of the goodness of her own heart

She had orders

With Carlisle not only generally well-liked amongst vampires (he has quite a few powerful friends), he also has one of the most powerful vampires in existence in his coven

He was a threat but they couldn’t take him out directly

They half hoped the newborns would do it for them. It’s why they didn’t squash the newborns earlier

But they also knew that skilled vampires with experience will win against the newborns any day

They also, to some degree, know Carlisle and his bleeding heart

So they send Jane along with orders

If the Cullens killed all of the newborns, great! Their job has been done for them

If they spared - kill the spares.

It’ll send a message

If they spare more than five newborns, allow the spared ones to live. With the ultimatum of the Cullens being responsible for them as if they created them

Why?

Well it kills some birds with one stone

If the Cullens fail to control the newborns properly (which the Volturi are sure they will) then the decimation of the Cullens would look justified

They could also say that the Cullens knew what they were agreeing to and accepted the potential consequences

They could get rid of the threat and wouldn’t have to deal with the political implications and backlash of the Volturi killing the Cullens for either no legal reason or a flimsy one

The fact the Cullens spared all the newborns was both unexpected and delightful

Aro also wanted to see how it all played out

So he allows it

Breaking Dawn is the Cullens trying to wrangle the thirty-six feral newborns

Edward gives in and Bella is changed and joins the rest of the newborns in training

The Cullens move to the most remote place you can think of

but they still have a hard time controlling all of them (duh)

So they call their vampy friends and ask them to help them out with their pack of feral vampires

Jacob’s pack - Jacob, Seth, Leah, Embry, and Quil - are there too.

Cue vampire-werewolf solidarity

-Insert hundreds of headcanons about The Year of everyone trying to house train thirty-six buck wild baby vampires but this is already too long-

And The Year draws to an end and they did the impossible. 

now where the f u c k do the fully grown and matured vampires go now

Some newborns are adopted into covens that helped “raise” them

Others go off by themselves and become solitary nomads 

Others form covens among themselves and leave

Some take up the vegetarian diet

others don’t 

During the year Bree Tanner and Diego (he’s alive), and Dean grow close to Rosalie and Emmet

the five create an entirely new coven

With Rosalie as the mother figure and Emmet as the father 

Renesmee’s name is instead Carlie (a nod towards the canonical name but less gross) and she’s a newborn that develops a close relationship with Edward 

They also adopt another newborn, Mason 

Essentially Bella, Edward, Mason, and Carlie form a coven of their own and leave to start a new life 

Alice and Jasper also adopted a newborn, Heather, and go off on their own

Don’t feel too bad for Carlisle and Esme, having to say goodbye to their adopted children

They adopted four newborns

Warren, Logan, Daniella, and May

Plus their older children visit quite often 

Sometimes separately

Sometimes it’s a huge family reunion

Bella’s and Edward’s wedding happens at the very end when they’re all fairly certain she won’t massacre the human guests. Her supernatural beauty is passed off as god tier makeup and contacts 

Oh, and Jacob doesn’t imprint on a baby!

Or on this version of her either

And they all lived happily ever after

My contribution to the ‘Billy Batson and the Batfam’s Legally Binding Bonding’ bandwagon: Jason Todd adopts Billy.

Jason has just done something greatly impressive from a vigilante standpoint, but now every villain in Gotham is out for his blood even more than usual. So to lay low for a bit, he leaves town. Heads to a city with a very different atmosphere and criminal underworld to Gotham, where none of his enemies will think to look or have influence - Fawcett City. Maybe Roy is with him, because Jayroy makes everything better.

He parks his car in an alley one day. What does he see when he comes back? What does he see? A twelve-year-old homeless orphan boy with black hair and blue eyes hotwiring his fucking car.

He stares at Billy.

Billy stares back at the dreaded killer Red Hood.

It’s poetic. It’s fate. The stars have aligned. Lian gets an awesome older brother who’s also sometimes a magical adult superhero. Bruce is now officially a grandfather and proud beyond measure, and though horrified to learn his Justice League teammate of two years is a child, relieved to know he’s at least now got a good support system. Billy, for his part, is himself aghast to discover the Goddamn Batman is that idiotic celebrity billionaire guy. Dick, Duke and Steph get along with him like wildfire. Damian’s somewhat jealous of no longer being the youngest in the family, but warms up to Billy and is protective of him, being reminded of Jon.

And all those villains? They can say hello to Captain Marvel.

UPDATE: the first chapter of the official fic is up!