“lol But Why Is This Actually Good” Because I Made It In Earnest?? Because I Loved It??? Because

How sad to watch him grow

I’ve been seeing a lot of talk recently about how “c!Techno’s comparison to c!Tommy and Theseus doesn’t make any sense” and “he should’ve compared him to [insert other Greek myth here] during that speech instead!”

And while I see where everyone is coming from, I don’t agree with wanting him to change his comparison and here’s why:

c!Techno’s comparison of c!Tommy and Theseus wasn’t as spot on as he thought it was because c!Techno had the WRONG READ on c!Tommy.

Of course his Theseus comparison was wrong because he was talking about c!Tommy through his own twisted lens. He was so certain that c!Tommy wanted to be “hero” even though c!Tommy never wanted that title.

Because of this I personally wouldn’t want anything changed about the Theseus speech because c!Techno getting the wrong idea of c!Tommy’s motivations was entirely the reason why it happened and why he targeted c!Tommy specifically. It wouldn’t make sense if he compared c!Tommy to something that more accurate fit him during that speech because the whole point is that he has a warped view of who c!Tommy is.

You, a fool, when characters state different or contradictory things about backstory events or how the world works: This is a plot hole!

Me, wise, enlightened: Not so, neophyte. Have you considered all the exhaustive possibilities in which one of these characters simply has no idea what they are talking about, or better yet, is a fucking liar?

Lava will break your fall as long as it's deep enough, if it isn't you'll still go crunch when you hit the bottom

Igloos can sometimes have a basement underneath the carpet in which you'll find a villager, a zombie villager as well as a weakness potion, golden apple, some potted plants and some additional village loot

If a villager is struck by lightning it'll become a witch, if a pig is struck by lightning it'll become a zombie piglin. You can induce this with both a lightning rod or a channeling trident

A charged creeper (creeper + lightning) will cause any skeletons, zombies and creepers killed by it to drop their heads

If a creeper is killed by a skeleton it'll drop a music disc, you can do this by trapping a creeper and a skeleton in separate boats and standing behind the creeper (out of range)

Bonemealing small flowers will spawn copies of them around it (in bedrock) and drop the item for big flowers

Small dripleaves can't be duplicated using bonemeal, the only ways to get more is to find them or to trade them from a traveling merchant. If you bonemeal them you'll get big dripleaves (which will then get taller)

Sea grass is used to breed turtles and can be gotten using shears

You can bonemeal neverrack inside the mushroom forests to turn it into the coloured mycelium

You can make an automated farm for carrots, potatoes, radishes and wheat using two farmer villagers and trapping one behind a hopper minecart

Using a stonecutter is a better way to make stairs and is fairly inexpensive

You can make stone generators by having lava fall onto flowing water (more than one block high) which isn't that useful on its own but can be used in passive xp farms using skulk and moss farms and probably others as well

Copper oxidises faster around (within 4 blocks) fully oxidised copper and slower around less oxidised copper, the least oxidised one has to oxidise before any others within range will

Pistons will move up to sixteen blocks in any direction and slime blocks will stick them together

Water flows for seven blocks (eight incl source)

If you rename a mob in a bucket in an anvil the mob will have that name without using a nametag

When caving you should bring some wood with you, and maybe a crafting table or two

When caving if you always place torches on one side of the cave you'll be able to retrace your steps with ease as you'll be able to follow torches on the opposite wall home

Minecraft Tips

or, a list of things about Minecraft that took me forever to figure out, that might not be obvious to new players, or that I just found helpful

Equal parts gravel and dirt can be crafted into coarse dirt, and using a hoe on coarse dirt changes it to normal dirt, so you can effectively change gravel into dirt if you have at least 2 dirt blocks with you

I know the game technically teaches you this BUT: you can cure zombie villagers by hitting them with a splash weakness potion and then feeding them a golden apple. This is an easy way to populate a village you built yourself, I've done it in all my survival worlds. The easiest way to protect newly potioned and appled villagers is to dig a long trench, get the zombie villager to chase you, circle the pit until the villager falls in, and cover the pit so no mobs attack the zombie villager when it changes into a villager.

Killing fish is a pretty good way to get bones. I don't need a skeleton farm because automatic fish farms are probably among the easiest automatic farms to build

drinking milk stops status effects

Tiny slimes can't damage you. You can keep them as pets.

The fastest transportation method is, for some reason, a boat on blue ice. Many horses are faster than powered rails.

Suspicious stew can be crafted, even though it's not part of the creative inventory or recipe book, using the normal recipe for mushroom stew+one flower. Allium gives a couple seconds of fire resistance, poppy gives night vision, cornflower gives jump boost, blue orchids or dandelions give saturation, and oxeye daisy gives regeneration.

A lot of wooden items—fences, doors, bows, fishing poles, and so on—can be used as fuel in furnaces. It's not efficient but it's a good way to get rid of excess items

Sneak to add blocks to the side of a furnace or chest directly. Do y'all have any idea how long this took me to figure it out. (This is also how you add a hopper to a chest.)

gold or iron armor can be melted down into gold and iron nuggets

The fortune enchantment affects sapling drops from trees and crop harvests.

Early in game, smelting copper into ingots is one of the best ways to get XP fast.

Fishing odds are slightly better when it's raining.

When you first get a full set of diamond armor your first instinct may be to wear it on a quest into the Nether. Don't. Take a couple stacks each of gravel/sand and any stone and run repeated suicide missions until you've made a stone shelter around your portal and paths across surrounding lava lakes.

More nether navigation tricks: drop columns of gravel down precipices in the Nether and then add cobblestone to the side of the gravel columns to build stairs from the top down

If your nether portal goes out while you're in the Nether, a Ghast fireball hitting the inside of the frame will relight it. But please don't get caught in the Nether without flint and steel

Lava breaks your fall much like water does, and you can't drown in it, though it's very hard to move in. Fire resistance potions will let you exploit both of these things.

Fill a basalt delta with three- or four-block-high towers of whatever block you like, two blocks apart, in staggered rows. Occasionally place a block on the side of the towers' top blocks. This won't stop magma cubes from spawning, but it will stop the large ones from moving effectively.

Using silk touch to grab the red and blue "turf" layers in Nether forests lets you farm both kinds of giant nether fungi by bone-mealing mushrooms, though the turf colors and mushroom colors have to match up. The growth is unaffected by obstructions above and the fungus "foliage" blocks never decay like leaves do. I have no idea who thought that was a good idea. BUT doing this repeatedly will eventually completely obstruct the "sky", protecting you from Ghasts

Nether fortresses and bastions are found along a "grid" pattern, so when you find one nether fortress you can travel in a straight line to find another fortress or bastion. Villages do the same thing, except when they don't. (Really, how villages spawn is a total mystery to me.)

Bonemealing moss will straight up convert surrounding stone into moss. I have no idea why. Since bone meal can be automated using a dropper iirc, this seems like it could lead to some weird redstone contraptions.

Horses can survive falls that would seriously damage a player.

Animals can and will climb ladders. I don't know why. But if you push a sheep or cow toward a ladder, they will often automatically ascend it. I've used this fact for automatic farms before.

You can name literally anything using an anvil, even if you can't repair or enchant it

Soul sand placed underwater creates bubble columns that shoot you upward. Magma blocks create bubble columns that pull you down. You can breathe in the bubble columns.

Night vision potions, if you've never used one, will also let you see the ocean floor.

A water source block in an "ocean" biome will spawn ocean animals, whether there is room for them there or not. If you change a section of ocean into a one-block-deep pond, you'll still get fish in there

you probably won't like this one but. keep a notebook with the coordinates of important spots it is SO HELPFUL

I'll add more when I think of them. please note that I play bedrock and some of these might not work in java

i’m a horrible texter but i’m also really bad at talking to people in person so i really have nothing going for me

Me too :)

but I haven't had them at the same time yet

Not only pineapple pizza eater but also a mushrooms hater?

UNSTANNED. FOREVER.

shoutout to cathy, tireless mother of four, pillar of the PTA, and returning contestant

I thought they were people hands 😔

A pleasant surprise.

BEHOLD the fic that caused @morroswaterbucket to spew water from their eyes like Poseidon's gift to the Athenians