And That Was It? That Was It.

HOW AM I EXPECTED TO STUDY WHEN WE MIGHT GET A STEP CLOSER TO GAY EDDIE DIAZ TONIGHT? AND WE MIGHT GET BUCK FACING HIS TRUE FEELINGS FOR EDDIE AND NOT DENYING THEM?? AND DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON HOW WE GET TO SEE CHRISTOPHER FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 10 MONTHS!

I CANT STUDY FOR TESTS WHILE I SHOULD BE STUDYING EVERY SINGLE THING BUCK AND EDDIE SAY!! (That sounds creepy but like it matters)

Bobby Nash dad through and through. only a dad repeatedly drops a bizarre piece of self lore that has somehow never come up in years and walks away. oh you were a childhood figure skating champion? oh your mom is a televangelist? and also not dead? your wife just found this out too? this is the guy whose known lore has a body count in the triple digits btw. I love Bobby so bad

eddie's heart is literally splitting into two before our eyes. like. buck never expected him to choose between him and chris. we know this. eddie knows this. it was eddie projecting those feelings onto buck. because buck is a priority to him. because he doesn't want to leave him. because he loves him. to the core. but he will leave. because he loves christopher more. and eddie doesn't feel bad about that. not about christopher coming first. nor should he. but he does feel bad about leaving buck. like these two feelings can and do co-exist. he feels like leaving buck is a choice he's making. and he would not feel like that unless buck was not just important to him but. literally the most important person in the world to him next to christopher. moving to texas is a choice he has to tear himself in two to make. "you would lose everytime" means just that. it's an easy answer, a natural answer. it's his son. but the rest of it isn't easy. the reality of the choice. which is losing buck. isn't easy. and i think eddie wants buck to recognise that but without having to tell him. in the same way buck struggled to admit how much it was affecting him but wanted eddie to recognise that instead of having to tell him. this fight only happened because they're afraid to tell each other—to admit—how much they love and need each other. it's literally put a spotlight on everything they haven't been saying over the last several years. because well. we're almost there. we're almost at the point where they will tell each other.

Ok we’re slowly making progress. We went from “You do matter to me” to “I appreciate you Buck.” Soon we’ll get an actual “I love you Buck”

Eddie Diaz, Queerness, and Faith

So I've had this idea floating around in my head all day following the most recent episode and with Buddie canon seemingly closer than ever, I thought I'd share it with y'all.

An interesting storyline I would absolutely LOVE for them to explore with Eddie is his relationship with Catholacism/Christianity as a whole and his sexuality, both in childhood and as an adult. I think it's inevitable that his relationship with religion would be brought up if they decide to go the route of Eddie being a repressed gay man. It's kind of unavoidable given his family history and his resurfaced Catholic guilt. I mean, growing up in Texas in the Catholic church as a gay kid??? As a queer atheist, it sounds like my own personal hell.

That being said, I think it would be really cool to see Eddie's journey to self-acceptance coincide with a restored faith in God and the church. It's not a storyline I've personally seen very often with gay characters (the only example I can think of atm is Eric from Sex Education), and I think it could be a really valuable form of representation for both progressive forms of Christianity and queer BIPOC Christians.

I don't think it's realistic given Eddie's decades-long repression for him to have this realization of feelings for Buck and just be okay with it without taking the time to interrogate all of his past relationships (romantic, familial, and religious) and how they have contributed to his repression. I would love to see him come back to LA post-feelings realization and for him to have more conversations with Father Brian about all of this. I want there to be a conversation between them about how Father Brian can reconcile being a gay man (because let's face it, he likely is, despite being celibate) and his faith in God, as well as being an active participant in the church who is guiding other people in their faith. I want to see the juxtaposition of Eddie growing up with a faith that is, at it's core, based in guilt and shame, to stepping into a faith based in love, acceptance, and affirmation (as, imo, Christianity SHOULD BE but all too often is not). I want more bonding and one-on-one conversations between Eddie and Bobby about faith, too. It would be really nice to see them bond more over something they have in common outside of their profession, especially with Bobby being a father figure to Buck.

I think his relationship with Buck could also be a way to explore inter-faith relationships. Now, I could be completely off-base with this, but Buck strikes me as a character that, while superstitious, is not religious. There hasn't been anything I've seen up to this point, that I can remember anyway, that suggests Buck believes in God. If it is the case that he is an atheist or agnostic, I would love to see how they navigate their relationship surrounding the topic, especially given the long and difficult history surrounding homophobia in the church. I don't even necessarily mind the topic becoming quite contentious (between them or brought on by external circumstances), but at the end of it all I want to see them get to a point where they approach this potential difference with love and mutual respect.

Idk I think it would just be really cool if they made this decision with Eddie's character. I know I've seen a few clips of Ryan in interviews talking about his own faith journey: growing up in the church, becoming distant from it as he got older, and then later coming back to God and religion. It would be awesome to see him being able to pour some of his own personal experiences with religion into this character, especially with how their journeys with faith would be kind of paralleled (though not entirely the same).

Anyways, if anyone wants to send me pre-existing fics or even write some based on this premise, I would love to read them 😊

Eddie's going to leave his parents' house after a huge blow up fight with his mom and he's going to be alone in his truck and he's going to look longingly at the passenger seat and sigh because Buck should be there.

And then he's going to call Buck on his drive home and Buck will have Eddie's back when he tells him about the fight. And when Eddie gets home he'll park the car and sigh and close his eyes and Buck will still be talking and Eddie will pretend Buck's in the car with him (where he belongs) for just a few seconds and then he'll tell Buck he's home and they'll hang up and Eddie will be alone again.

And he'll realize that the person who has always had his back is over 800 miles away and he misses him more than he ever thought he would. And it'll hit him like a ton of bricks that Buck is the first person he calls after a bad day and after a good one. That Buck is the voice he wants to hear when he's spiraling. That the reason it's been so hard to look directly that his relationship with Buck is because it's something beyond friendship. He loves him to the core.

It’s literally so sick that the first episode where Eddie won’t be with the 118 is the “Bobby’s mom is a mega-church televangelist” episode. Like. He would have so much to say… so many faces to make… Eddie…

LETS GO MADDIE HAN BREAK YOURSELF OUTTA THERE GIRL. YOUR FAMILY MISSES YOU AND IS WORRIED

"don't run off on your people because you have no idea how hard it is on them" buck baby don't bring that precious dog into your gay breakup with your bestie it's none of his business

"are you?" maddie stfu ik you're so done with him