800 Miles Between Them But Still Have Each Other’s Backs🥹

I think I've figured out why Eddie's "you really did that for me?" is different for him compared to all the other times someone else, or even Buck, has done big things for him.

Because we can all point out endless examples of how this isn't the first big thing that Buck has ever done for Eddie. Hell, their friendship really took root due to the big ways in which Buck helped Eddie early on in s2 and s3. HOWEVER. Here's where the big difference comes in.

This is the first time Buck has ever done something like this for Eddie whilst they're in the midst of Active Conflict.

All the other times Buck has done something amazing for Eddie and Chris have been during relative times of peace, or times when Eddie and Buck were already on the same page about what they wanted. It's not hard for Eddie to accept because his and Buck's wants align in those moments.

Not the case in 8x09. Buck and Eddie's desires are on opposite sides now, or at least that's how Eddie perceives it. Eddie has to do something that he knows Buck won't like, and he thinks "This is it. This is the moment where everyone shows their true colors and leaves me high and dry to deal with my mess by myself." Think about it. Most people leave Eddie high and dry the first instance their goals don't align.

That's why Eddie's so surprised Buck wants to help him in the first place back in 8x08 and again in 8x09. For once, Eddie lets himself believe that someone will help him, even if it's something the other person doesn't want. And when Buck gets upset and petty, it almost feels like confirmation that Eddie is only worth helping when it's something that other people want too.

But Buck, in the midst of their fighting, before they even got a chance to talk or yell it out, before Eddie can even explain that he doesn't want this either, but he has no choice, Buck has already managed to figure it out for himself and decide that even though Eddie can't do what Buck wants him to do, it doesn't matter. Buck puts his desires aside and helps Eddie because it's what's best for Eddie and Christopher. I don't think Eddie has ever known what it's like to have opposing desires with someone and not come out on the losing side, to have to be the one to compromise or put someone else's wishes before his own.

This is the only time someone has loved Eddie unconditionally enough to put Eddie first.

AND ANOTHER THING:

I am disappointed that we didn't get a scene where Buck and Eddie actually went through the house and packed up everything Eddie wanted to bring with him to El Paso. It would have been nice to see them interact as Eddie decided what furniture and memories were the most important, that he couldn't part with. Also, it would have been cute to have Buck pick up and pack away something that Eddie may have forgotten about but that he knows Eddie would want to take with him. Because he knows Eddie and what he would find important. I wish they could have had a moment to reminisce about the memories they had together and with Chris in the house before they said their goodbyes. But alas, we did not get to see that 😔

Post-Episode 8x10 Buddie Thoughts

"You matter to me" Ugh just tell him you love him pleaseeee

That hug did not feel platonic in any way. I'll have to go back and watch it later, but the closeup focus on their faces before they pull away feels so much more significant in a way their previous hugs have not.

The awkwardness with which they interacted with each other as well can only be described as "how people act around their crush, nervous af"

Buck was so fucking awkward I love that dork. He does not know how to act normal about his feelings. He has to know, right??? The final shot of him as Eddie drives away feels like a revelation

I NEED TO KNOW IF EDDIE LEFT THE COUCH TO BUCK

i am so serious when i say dark and quiet are both human rights.

i don't mean like absolute silence. obviously in an ideal community, there would still be sound and noise from people and music and work etc. but it haunts me that when i camp in the forest i can hear the howl of semi trucks on the interstate miles away. and the people who live beside it never know quiet. it haunts me that many people will live their whole lives never seeing the stars in the sky that were fully visible with NO electric light pollution as recently as my great-grandparents' childhoods.

so much of our lives is bright bright unnecessary noise. neon mcdonalds signs 200 feet in the air so we can see it from the road. led lights over billboards. parking lots lit up like sports stadiums at closed office buildings. advertisements playing at gasoline pumps. streets lined with led porch lights and decorative garden lights that genuinely threaten entire species of wildlife. music blaring outside pharmacies to deter homeless people. everything always shining and wailing for no purpose but profit and cruelty.

obviously not everything can be turned off or made quiet and i wouldn't want it to be anyway and there is a lot of nuance and room for "but what about" here, but MANY things HAVE to change because none of us are supposed to live like this and we shouldn't have to!!!

eddie's heart is literally splitting into two before our eyes. like. buck never expected him to choose between him and chris. we know this. eddie knows this. it was eddie projecting those feelings onto buck. because buck is a priority to him. because he doesn't want to leave him. because he loves him. to the core. but he will leave. because he loves christopher more. and eddie doesn't feel bad about that. not about christopher coming first. nor should he. but he does feel bad about leaving buck. like these two feelings can and do co-exist. he feels like leaving buck is a choice he's making. and he would not feel like that unless buck was not just important to him but. literally the most important person in the world to him next to christopher. moving to texas is a choice he has to tear himself in two to make. "you would lose everytime" means just that. it's an easy answer, a natural answer. it's his son. but the rest of it isn't easy. the reality of the choice. which is losing buck. isn't easy. and i think eddie wants buck to recognise that but without having to tell him. in the same way buck struggled to admit how much it was affecting him but wanted eddie to recognise that instead of having to tell him. this fight only happened because they're afraid to tell each other—to admit—how much they love and need each other. it's literally put a spotlight on everything they haven't been saying over the last several years. because well. we're almost there. we're almost at the point where they will tell each other.

The kind of posts I have seen on here since the last episode aired (and let’s be honest for a LONG while now) make wonder why some people still watch this show.

Like, if you hate the characters so much and every storyline that is being written, why bother watching? If it makes you so miserable, what’s the point?

There are so many fucked up things happening in this world, life is way too short to have a 60 minute procedural tv show make you feel so many negative emotions. It’s okay not to watch anymore if it no longer brings you joy.

getting my 8x11 meta in under the wire. i’ve been thinking a lot about maddie’s “maybe it’s time to learn the lesson again. how to be alone” line and how it fits into the context of the conversation. bc i know i’ve joked about it like oh buck fucked up maddie’s advice to get friends so bad that she told him to be alone instead but the thing is is that she’s NOT telling him to like . cut all ties and be completely alone. obviously. he still has her and the 118. his friends and family. shes not telling him to not have friends. so then what is she saying? surface level it’s her telling buck to not get back with tommy just to not be alone bc buck literally said "i was using tommy to avoid feeling alone" right before. but the logic here that was set up from the beginning of the episode is buck missed eddie -> buck used tommy to avoid feeling alone -> maddie tells him to be okay with being alone. so the type of being alone that maddie is talking about here isn't general loneliness or the loneliness that comes from not being in a relationship but buck specifically being alone without eddie and missing him. it's just interesting how, in the same conversation that buck refers to his and eddie's friendship as "what me and eddie have" that maddie is ALSO putting their friendship on a different level than normal friends. and buck doesn't correct her. its how you would talk about getting over an ex and not jumping straight into a new relationship just to be in one. it's not how you talk about your friend moving away. except it's how buck talks about eddie bc he's insane and thinks that it's normal. and everybody around him is also doing it bc it's just how their relationship is universally understood.

Buck, after watching Eddie drive away: I know it’s not the same, but can I ask how you felt?

Chimney: When I said goodbye to Hen? I—

Buck: No, not when—when Maddie left.

Chimney: It felt like she took my heart with her.

Buck: Yeah, that sounds about right.

Okay so I'll just say it because I've been thinking it for a while, but the weird dislike or sometimes even hatred for Eddie Diaz (and Ryan Guzman) that is present in this fandom feels (at times) incredibly forced at best and downright racist at worst. And he's already a pretty white-washed character as it is. This is not in any way meant as a call-out to any one person in particular, and certainly not me saying he's a perfect character above critique, but my god, I need people to inject a little bit of nuance into their views of these characters. I love Buck as much as the next 9-1-1 fan, but he is not this perfect angel who can do no wrong like some people act like he is. Likewise, Eddie has made a lot of mistakes and done a lot of shitty things (some of which Buck himself has done, too). But at the end of the day, I think he is a very complex character who is doing the best he can with what he has and means well. I don't know why some of you are in this fandom if you dislike these characters as much as it appears you do.

And the SHIPPING WARS MY GOD STOP IT. I usually stay out of shipping discourse because I think it's ridiculous and unnecessary most of the time. Ship and let ship is always an option, and I think most people would benefit from choosing it. And listen, I will admit my bias and say I am primarily a Buddie shipper. But I have no issue with Bucktommy shippers as a whole nor the ship itself being popular. Do I ship it? No. I don't even particularly like Tommy as a character, but I don't care if other people like him and the ship. What I do have an issue with, however, is the way some of y'all act with such vitriol towards Buddie shippers, Buddie as a ship, and, specifically, Eddie Diaz as a potential love interest for Buck. This is where I think some people's underlying racial bias really becomes apparent, and no, I'm not talking about all BuckTommy shippers, only those that are explicitly anti-Buddie because they don't like Eddie. Because why, WHY are you so insistent on seeing these two white men together, who have had so little time together on screen and, in my opinion, have been shown to have very little in common with each other other than the fact that they care about and are interested in each other romantically, but so against Buck potentially being in a relationship with a different man who he has been best friends with for the better part of a decade, who wrote him into his will, cares deeply about him and who he cares about just as much, spends a lot of his free time with, and who also happens to not be white? Look, I'm not gonna sit here and say every single one of you is a raging racist or anything. I don't know you. But I think a lot of y'all would benefit from a little bit of introspection as to why you feel the way that you do about some of these characters and ships. Also, yes, Buddie shippers can be toxic and racist, too. I am not saying Buddie shippers are above those behaviors as well, only making an observation specific to some people's anti-Buddie and anti-Eddie sentiment.

Also, this is an aside, but the way fandom and shipping culture in general has gravitated towards strict adherence to canon content is.... weird. Like, why are some of y'all so allergic to engaging with or creating content outside of the confines of what the canon material has offered you? Have fun, be creative, go wild, and also be respectful to the folks around you who see things differently. We all share this space, and we should all care about making it as positive and welcoming of an experience as possible.

(x) bro kenny literally kept telling him it's a shit idea. if bobby really is dead then this is just... man...