I Graduated High School In 99.

Rarer D&D alignments

Bastard Good: You make the world better for people but in a really obnoxious way so everyone low-key hates you for it

Chaotic Dead: You set yourself on fire at the start of each session

Informed Evil: you're wearing a red cape and cackling so we kind of assume you've probably done some bad things off screen, right?

Lawful Pointless: You follow the rules of chess in every situation you find yourself in.

False Neutral: HAHA FOOLS! I WAS NO DRUID! I WAS A PALADIN ALL ALONG!

Lawful Anxious: You follow very strict laws but you don't know what those laws are or if you're breaking them.

Personal Evil: rather then making things worse for sapient life, you work to make things worse for Steve specifically. Everyone else is fine.

Centrist Neutral: "I don't support The Chained God Tharizdun breaking free and unmaking all reality but if we stop him through force we're just as bad as he is. Did you know there's actually zero difference between good and bad things?"

Sponsored Good: You provide justice, compassion and the great taste of subways sandwiches! Put in the code SMITETHESINNERS when ordering online for 20% off!

Sexy Lawful: You follow very strict rules but in such a way we kind of suspect you're getting off on it.

Chaotic Incidental: You act completely randomly but by sheer chance your actions turn out identical to if you followed very strict rules.

Theoretical Good: You want to do good things to help the world and once you stop binging Netflix you're absolutely going to.

Ugly Neutral: None of the other alignments want to hang out with you so you're neutral by default

Chaotic Meta: You pointedly refuse to follow the rules of the game you're playing.

Thirsty Evil: Look, orcs are hot, ok?

HOW TO SURVIVE A HEART ATTACK WHEN ALONE Let’s say it’s 6.15pm and you’re going home (alone of course), after an unusually hard day on the job. You’re really tired, upset and frustrated. Suddenly you start experiencing severe pain in your chest that starts to drag out into your arm and up into your jaw. You are only about five miles from the hospital nearest your home. Unfortunately you don’t know if you’ll be able to make it that far. You have been trained in CPR, but the guy that taught the course did not tell you how to perform it on yourself..!! NOW HOW TO SURVIVE A HEART ATTACK WHEN ALONE… Since many people are alone when they suffer a heart attack, without help, the person whose heart is beating improperly and who begins to feel faint, has only about 10 seconds left before losing consciousness. However, these victims can help themselves by coughing repeatedly and very vigorously. A deep breath should be taken before each cough, and the cough must be deep and prolonged, as when producing sputum from deep inside the chest. A breath and a cough must be repeated about every two seconds without let-up until help arrives, or until the heart is felt to be beating normally again. Deep breaths get oxygen into the lungs and coughing movements squeeze the heart and keep the blood circulating. The squeezing pressure on the heart also helps it regain normal rhythm. In this way, heart attack victims can perhaps buy precious time to get themselves to a phone and dial 911. Rather than sharing another joke please contribute by broadcasting this which can save a person’s life! Be prepared and become part of the solution. Get your free next-of-kin notification card today. Click here: https://www.InCaseOfEmergencyCard.com/

florist!simon and tattoo artist!johnny part 2

johnny’s so worked up when he pushes through the door of simon’s shop, he’s exclaiming some shit in scottish and holding up the rose simon left him in the air like it’s some sort of evidence.

simon’s in the middle of making a flower arrangement and simply blinks at the gibberish directed his way, but hides a sly smirk under his surgical mask.

johnny saunters towards the counter, puts on his best smile, and simon swears the flowers around him start swooning and singing and becoming more aromatic the second he opens his mouth and spews some charming words at him.

he crosses his arms, tilts his head as he stares down at johnny but the bastard doesn’t falter, just keeps talking and flirting and fuck his eyes are so blue and he can see the outline of his biceps through the material of his shirt and he can smell his fucking cologne and did simon hear him correctly?

a date? friday, 6pm? johnny will pick him up? with his bike? oh god. simon hasn’t been on a date in years months, let alone have someone plan it instead of him. he’s practically pulling on a veil and a massive white wedding bouquet from behind his back for this stranger he left a rose for as a little gift.

he behaves like a bastard though, tells johnny to buy something from him and maaaaybe he’ll consider the date.

johnny immediately pays 100 pounds for the biggest fucking bouquet simon can make, tells him to pick only the freshest and simon’s favorite flowers, makes simon explain the meaning of every flower and its color, and when simon ties the prettiest bow around the fat stems, johnny tells him it’s beautiful. now take it home and put it in a nice vase in your living room and wait until i get you another one on friday.

simon’s raising his eyebrows but is kicking his fucking feet like a teenage girl inwardly.

johnny leaves with simon’s number scribbled on a piece of paper, twirling the red rose between his fingers. simon watches him go, then looks back at the bouquet—massive, extravagant, borderline ridiculous, just like johnny requested. and in the middle of it, nestled among the other flowers, is another red rose.

‘so ye don’t forget about me,’ johnny had said, grinning as simon tucked it into place in the middle of the arrangement.

as if simon fucking could.

(Seen on FB)

RUN THE DISHWASHER TWICE. 

When I was at one of my lowest (mental) points in life, I couldn’t get out of bed some days. I had no energy or motivation and was barely getting by.

I had therapy once per week, and on this particular week I didn’t have much to ‘bring’ to the session. He asked how my week was and I really had nothing to say.

“What are you struggling with?” he asked.

I gestured around me and said “I dunno man. Life.”

Not satisfied with my answer, he said “No, what exactly are you worried about right now? What feels overwhelming? When you go home after this session, what issue will be staring at you?”

I knew the answer, but it was so ridiculous that I didn’t want to say it.

I wanted to have something more substantial.

Something more profound.

But I didn’t.

So I told him, “Honestly? The dishes. It’s stupid, I know, but the more I look at them the more I CAN’T do them because I’ll have to scrub them before I put them in the dishwasher, because the dishwasher sucks, and I just can’t stand and scrub the dishes.”

I felt like an idiot even saying it.

What kind of grown ass woman is undone by a stack of dishes? There are people out there with *actual* problems, and I’m whining to my therapist about dishes?

But my therapist nodded in understanding and then said:

“RUN THE DISHWASHER TWICE.”

I began to tell him that you’re not supposed to, but he stopped me.

“Why the hell aren’t you supposed to? If you don’t want to scrub the dishes and your dishwasher sucks, run it twice. Run it three times, who cares?! Rules do not exist, so stop giving yourself rules.”

It blew my mind in a way that I don’t think I can properly express.

That day, I went home and tossed my smelly dishes haphazardly into the dishwasher and ran it three times.

I felt like I had conquered a dragon.

The next day, I took a shower lying down.

A few days later. I folded my laundry and put them wherever the fuck they fit.

There were no longer arbitrary rules I had to follow, and it gave me the freedom to make accomplishments again.

Now that I’m in a healthier place, I rinse off my dishes and put them in the dishwasher properly. I shower standing up. I sort my laundry.

But at a time when living was a struggle instead of a blessing, I learned an incredibly important lesson:

THERE ARE NO RULES.

RUN THE DISHWASHER TWICE!!!

(by Kate Scott 2018)

Reblog if you think fanfiction is a legitimate form of creative writing.

If it makes you feel better I’m 5’2 and all my IRL friends are above 5’4. I understand your pain.

🌻

I am always the shortest of my IRL friends, there's never a chance for me to be second shortest, just straight up: all the way SHORT. AND I'm 5'4!

I’m debating just posting random flower husband One shots I come up with here, but I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I am not a writer so I’m not sure. :/

The Fair Folk: “I can’t believe this. Twenty years I’ve cleaned your house and you DARE to try to REPAY me with GIFTS. This is such an insult. Fuck you, you insolent humans. I’m leaving here and never returning because you have insulted me so deeply.”

Also the Fair Folk: “Remember that one time you pulled a thorn out of a cat’s foot? That was me. To show my gratitude, here is a house made of solid gold, a life-debt, my daughter’s hand in marriage, and a promise that all your children will be gorgeous and successful at all that they do. I can also throw in a blow job if you want. I hope this is enough. I don’t want to seem ungrateful.”

🚨 This is a vetted and legit GoFundMe 🚨

Hello,

I am Tamer Al-Deeb, a Palestinian dentist from Gaza.

[Picture of Tamer before the war in his clinic]

I have hesitated and delayed for a long time to write these words and create an account on GoFundMe, but the need has become very urgent due to what I see of death approaching myself and my family.

To begin our story, it is important to introduce my family, who are the core of my existence and the source of my strength during these turbulent times:

We are a family of four suffering for over 9 months from a brutal war that spares neither humans nor stones.

Mother: The Heart of Our Home

My mother embodies generosity and kindness as a devoted homemaker, always prioritizing her family's well-being. Her unwavering love remains our sanctuary amidst the chaos.

Father: The Pillar of Strength

My father, Majed, a dedicated professor, faced the destruction of the university he served. Despite this, his commitment to education and society remains unshaken.

Brother: A Beacon of Healing

My brother, Mohammad, a compassionate doctor, confronts the challenges of healthcare amidst dwindling supplies and occupation brutality, showcasing remarkable dedication to healing.

Tamer: A Dream Deferred

As for myself, Tamer, I was on the verge of a new beginning, with aspirations to further my career in Germany. I had saved thousands of dollars for the mandatory block account to support my stay abroad. However, the conflict has not only shattered my professional dreams but also consumed what didn't burn of my savings, compelling me to fight for my family's survival amidst the escalating costs of basic human necessities.

gofundme.com

Donate to Standing with a Family Escaping the Horrors of War in Gaza., organised by Abdallah Ghunaim

The story will be in three languages: English, German, and Ar… Abdallah Ghunaim needs your support for Standing with a Family Escaping the H

[Picture of the family before the war]

I have lost the lives of my dearest friends, neighbors, and much of what I loved.

We have lost our home with all its dreams and memories. A five-floor house completely leveled to the ground!!

[Pictures of the destroyed house]

I lost my clinic, my only source of livelihood.

[picture of the clinic]

My neighborhood .

[picture of the destroyed neighborhood]

gofundme.com

Donate to Standing with a Family Escaping the Horrors of War in Gaza., organised by Abdallah Ghunaim

The story will be in three languages: English, German, and Ar… Abdallah Ghunaim needs your support for Standing with a Family Escaping the H

Since the beginning of the war, we were forced to flee our home in the north of the Gaza Strip to the supposed safe area in the south. But unfortunately, this was just the beginning. We have been displaced four times in the same southern area, fleeing from death always surrounding us.

Initially, we fled to a school belonging to the UNRWA in the Nuseirat camp until we were forced to move to another area, and the Maghazi camp was the intended destination. Then a UNRWA school, where we were residing in a tent inside, was targeted, killing 7 civilians. We were forced to flee again to a tent in Rafah, but the scarcity of clean water and the spread of epidemics and diseases forced us to flee again to a UNRWA school in the Deir Al-Balah area until now.

UNRWA has been providing refuge to hundreds of displaced families for the past six months at schools that have become vital community hubs, offering shelter to thousands of individuals trapped in the southern region.

Women and children sleep inside classrooms, and the men sleep outside in tents set up in the courtyard. Rainstorms recently have flooded our tents, and it's very difficult to take care of our basic needs.

[Pictures of Tamer after the war in the UNRWA school and his tent]

I am currently volunteering at Al-Aqsa Hospital, assisting in the maxillofacial surgery department. However, a sense of helplessness and despair often overwhelms me. It's hard to put into words the horrors and injuries I witness daily. Surrounded by the shroud of death and the cries of the wounded, I feel powerless. "I want to save you, I want you to live," I often think, "I will do everything in my power to make it happen!" Sadly, many times, they become part of the countless casualties from my homeland. The shortages in food, water, and medical supplies are dire, to the extent that we sometimes perform surgeries without anesthesia. The suffering is unimaginable.

gofundme.com

Donate to Standing with a Family Escaping the Horrors of War in Gaza., organised by Abdallah Ghunaim

The story will be in three languages: English, German, and Ar… Abdallah Ghunaim needs your support for Standing with a Family Escaping the H

Now we hope to escape death, we hope for the end of the war, we hope to leave the Gaza Strip, and we hope to live a decent life away from bombing, occupation, and destruction.

It has been 9 months of hell and horror. This genocide has been too long to bear, and our mental health and lives are in constant danger. (I can’t describe enough what I have been dealing with daily in the hospitals for the past days. We have reached a point where there is no hope left for us here in Gaza, where we are unfortunately just waiting for our turn to die, and even if there is a ceasefire, the destruction in Gaza is beyond prompt repair

Evacuation fees are expensive, especially now that I have no source of income. Once we can evacuate, your donations will cover our travel expenses and help us get immediate support in Egypt. There will be meal expenses, wardrobe expenses, emergency expenses, etc., but no generous contribution will go to waste.

To cross the “Rafah” Gaza-Egypt Borders, you need to have your name listed in the Crossing List (paid permit), and coordinators in Egypt who have the power to add my family’s names to the list at the border are now asking for anywhere from $6-8,000 per PERSON! They will not add the names until we can prove we have the money ready.

I ask for your help because this is not just my battle alone, but a battle in which we seek your helping hand to survive and preserve our families. Any donation, big or small, will have a huge impact on the lives of my family and me. I am grateful to everyone who donates, and I will remain grateful forever for giving hope and opportunity to me and my family to survive and build a better future.

Thank you for reading my story. For sharing my story with your friends and family. I hope, there is a ceasefire, and we can get the rest and safety we deserve to build our lives all over again. ❤️

Tamer Al-Deeb

gofundme.com

Donate to Standing with a Family Escaping the Horrors of War in Gaza., organised by Abdallah Ghunaim

The story will be in three languages: English, German, and Ar… Abdallah Ghunaim needs your support for Standing with a Family Escaping the H

Our campaign is vetted by :

- @ibtisams 🫶🇵🇸 : Click here

- @90-ghost 🫶🇵🇸 : Click here

- @el-shab-hussein 🫶🇵🇸 : Click here

- @fairuzfan 🫶🇵🇸 : Click here

- @palestinegenocide 🫶🇵🇸 : Click here

- @sar-soor 🫶🇵🇸 : Click here

- @vakarians-babe 🫶🇵🇸 : Click here

- @el-shab-hussein 🫶🇵🇸& @nabulsi 🫶🇵🇸 on Vetted Gaza Fundraiser List Number [ 191 ] : Click here