Innocent Bystander

Many came before me,

Many have yet to come.

To profess a velleity,

To seek direction,

Standing right here,

Where you can see

The light of hope

Rising from the horizon.

Alive

I felt each breath seeping into my lungs.

I felt each ray of sunshine that touched my skin.

I felt every gust of wind that blew past me.

I felt all those emotions hidden in my heart.

The sorrows, the love, the dreams and the hope.

I felt the time that ticked by and I didn't care.

I felt my heart beating to it's own rhythm.

I felt the silence telling me something.

Telling me that I'm alive.

And I believed it.

I Had Said No

I said no.

Again and again

I said no.

Did you not hear that?

I said no.

But my words did not erect a wall of protection around me.

It's dirty, filthy touch still managed to seep through my defenses and scar my soul.

The moment it withdrew its claws,

I ran.

I ran and ran and ran.

On the way,

I bumped into a lady.

Her eyes were blindfolded

With a beam balance in one hand

And a sword in the other

I asked her to help me.

She told me that she doesn't see any sin

I repeated again

That I had said no.

But to her, my consent didn't matter

'Cause I said, "I do."

On that day at the altar.

Insignificant, like a dust, that's what I am.

It's so ironic that we ourselves created a world we want to escape every waking moment.

Ever wondered what it feels like to breathe under the ocean; to taste the water from the grey cloud; to touch the seven colours of rainbow?

Ever wondered how it feels to live in a world where days start with shadows or exist in a void to that makes you practically weightless?

You patched yourself up

With little pieces of me

But can't you really see

It has left me empty

The daunting hollowness

Eating me from inside

Yet your eyes taunt

I must be guilty

What's so additive

About the pain and the heartache

That I couldn't step aside

Until pushed to the edge

I couldn't leave your side

The millions of seconds

It took me to realise

The best of your moments

Are the worst of my life

Already lost

I don't know how I'm holding it together

The cluster of mismatched pieces

I don't know how I'm still standing

Though I am limping all the way

I know you feel those too

The anger, the frustration, the pain and all others

But why do you pass it my way?

Do you think I'm unbreakable?

I wish I was,

I wish I could take everything you give.

But I am a weak thing,

I have to battle every day just to survive

And,

Every time I have to face the reality of life

I lose it

Every time you take your anger out on me

I lose it

Every time I hear the screams of your suffering

I lose it

But you see

Even with all these factors telling me to give up

I always had a reason to fight

But now,

I can't remember it anymore.

I wanna forget for a while

Forget the rules of the world

Forget about this heaviness resting on my shoulder

And the pressure around me that has already created a crack

For a while, I wanna forget

The mocking memories

I wanna close my eyes

To the terrible possibilities

For a while, I want the voices to be quite

That's the only wish I have

For a while, make me feel alive

Before you

I was terrified of this world

looking at those Shadows

Spreading on this earth

You tilted my head upward

showed me the stars

And I stopped shuddering in the dark

You told me

any of them could be mine

The thought made me smile

I wandered around at nights

Looking for that tiny light

That would feel just right

Just mine

And I finally found it

Not up above, in the skies

But around me

Among the fireflies.