I Took A Deep Breath And Listened To The Old Brag Of My Heart. I Am, I Am, I Am.

I sometimes think that people’s hearts are like deep wells. Nobody knows what’s at the bottom. All you can do is imagine by what comes floating to the surface every once in a while.

~Haruki Murakami, Blind Willow, Sleeping Woman

“after all this time?”

“always,” said Snape.

J.K. Rowling, "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows".

oh, I love it and hate it at the same time

you & I drink the poison from the same vine

oh, I love it and hate it at the same time

hidin' all of our sins from the daylight

— David Kushner, from Daylight

i don't know what younger person needs to hear this, but it is so valid to not want to drink alcohol at all, or to only want to drink very rarely. don't let others pressure you into joining in with those societal rituals. it is an outrage how normalized drinking alcohol is, to the point that those who choose to abstain are constantly forced to justify their private choices, be publicly questioned about what led to these choices or excluded from activities altogether. you do not ever need to justify your reasons for this. there are absolutely valid and important reasons to not drink, and nobody has a right to know your personal reasonings.

So I noticed something about the stories in Sweet Sorrows.

The first and the last are about the pirate and the girl, the ancient love story (Once, very long ago…Time fell in love with Fate). Then there’s the Acolyte. The Zachary, the son of the fortune-teller, and the main narrator when the book is in the present (and the only one for this section of it). Then the dollhouse (something someone else mentioned was a little like a constantly growing Harbor itself, and which comes back when the bees do.). Then the Guardian story, which includes Dorian. Then our introduction to Elenore, then the inhabitants of Harbors (people like and including Allegra), then the Keepers (Now there is only one), then Simon, the man lost in time.

Introducing us to the main players. So I wonder, what if the Acolyte who sang the full month was Rhyme?

"Poetry. The weather. It's like a poem. Where each word is more than one thing at once and everything's a metaphor. The meaning condensed into rhythm and sound and the spaces between sentences. It's all intense and sharp, like the cold and the wind."

"You could just say it's cold out."

"I could."

The starless sea by Erin Morgenstern

I'm a master of speaking silently. All my life I've spoken silently and I've lived through entire tragedies in silence

- Fyodor Dostoyevsky

I'm a prisoner to my addiction

I'm addicted to a life that's so empty and so cold

I'm a prisoner to my decisions

Prisoner by The Weeknd and Lana Del Rey

i can be trusted on a nature walk i promise. i promise i will stay on the trail and will not run off into the forest never to be seen again i promise

one day you think: I want to die. and then you think, very quietly: actually. actually. I think I want a coffee. a nap. a sandwich. a book. and I want to die turns day by day into want to go home, I want to walk in the woods, I want to see my friend, I want to sit in the sun, I want a cleaner kitchen, I want a better job, I want to live somewhere else. I want to live.

- via duckbunny