*shaking Sobbing Covered In Blood* Yeah It's Fine That I Can't Do The Thing Because Of My Disability.

my central padmé take is that she is someone who constantly and increasingly feels like she has blood on her hands that she can never wash off. this is the core of her deal to me. ever since i started seeing her like this she has never ceased to make perfect sense to me

Give me chronically fatigued Viktor.

Give me Viktor, falling asleep at his desk in the middle of the day because he’s been staring at those calculations for so long and his head is just too heavy to keep upright anymore, no matter how much sleep he gets.

Give me Viktor, leaving the lab early in the summers until Jayce builds him a personal AC unit, because the heat makes him drowsy.

Give me Viktor, falling asleep at a Council meeting, because it’s dark and he’s sitting and the voices around him have been droning on for hours. He startles when Jayce nudges him to leave. A succinct summary dictated by Mel appears in the lab the next day. (Viktor appreciates this, as it’s hard to focus on Jayce’s words when he’s so exhausted and he’s terrible at summarizing anyway)

Give me Viktor, nearly causing an explosion when his vision blurs/crosses while engineering, resulting in a stray spark. Jayce bans Viktor from operating machinery after 5pm, one of the only lab rules Viktor hates but won’t break.

Give me Viktor, frustrated at a problem for hours, only for Jayce to correct something he had made a mistake on due to brain fog.

Give me Viktor blaring music, drinking religious amounts of caffeine, and blasting his AC to near-freezing to keep himself somewhat alert.

Give me a Viktor who keeps oversleeping, showing up to the lab at noon because Jayce never has the heart to go and wake him when he clearly needs the rest. Viktor eventually moves in with Jayce because he can’t trust himself to wake up anymore, no matter how many alarms he sets. Plus, Jayce lives closer to the lab, and it’s an easier walk in terms of both pain and fatigue.

Give me Viktor leaning on Jayce at an event because there’s no place to sit and putting weight on his crutch relieves the pain in his leg, not the constant exhaustion pulling at his soul. Give me Jayce offering gentle support for that smallest bit of relief.

Give me a Viktor who’s not tired from long nights in the lab, but because of his illness.

some of you didn’t have mothers that told you ‘everyone gets anxious like that’ when you described your horrible anxiety around new places or things or that ‘everyone struggles with that’ when you described a symptom of ADHD only for you to get diagnosed in high school with both and subsequently motivate her to get diagnosed as well and be so mad that all that time she was dismissing you but also sad because she’s been struggling by herself for so much longer than you have even been alive and now you listen to her talk about how different she feels on meds and feel the rage and joy battle in your soul and it shows

MY SHAYLASSSS

finally caved in and drew them 🫶🏼

Why Viktor from Arcane is WRONG About Evolution

Right so, I'm getting my degree in evolutionary biology and evolution as a subject is my absolute bread and butter, so I thought I'd give some insight into a particular line from Arcane and why it both infuriated me AND is also brilliant writing.

(Quick note: I'm not writing this to say the SHOW is wrong about evolution or that the writing is bad. The writing around this is actually amazing and I'll get into that. This IS NOT a critique.)

The line in question happens during episode 6 of season 2 of the show during a conversation between Singed and Viktor where Viktor states the following:

"Evolution has a destination, not to combat nature, but to supercede it. The final, glorious evolution."

Every single thing about this statement is disastrously incorrect. And when I first heard it, it took everything in me not to scream in frustration, but I think I get it now.

The rest of this essay will be me picking apart this quote piece by piece, both to explain WHY its incorrect, but also why that's not necessarily a bad thing.

"Evolution Has a Destination"

We'll start with his first assertion, that evolution has a destination. This is patently false on every level. Evolution occurs constantly, it never ceases.

This is actually a really, really common misconception when it comes to evolution. Many people see the explanation for natural selection, survival of the fittest, and assume that that means evolution is a constant trend of "improvement". There's an assumption that, as we continue to evolve, we become "better".

But that's NOT what "survival of the fittest" means (nor is natural selection the only mechanism of evolution but I digress). "Fitness" is not some overall objective best form, it has a VERY specific definition.

Fitness, when discussing evolutionary biology, refers to your ability to survive within your environment long enough to produce viable offspring. It doesn't mean "fastest" or "strongest", and it's incredibly circumstantial. Every species encounters DIFFERENT challenges based on the biotic (living) and abiotic (non-living) factors of their environment. These pressures are what define "fitness". It's different for all species.

And those pressures are NOT static either. Your environment changes. Plate tectonics shift, natural disasters occur, weather patterns change, other species evolve alongside you, your circumstances as a species will never remain stagnant. New challenges WILL befall you in your environment and you WILL have to evolve new adaptations for continued success.

Even if you tailored everything to perfection, eliminated all challenges, and somehow obtained infinite resources, EVEN THEN you cannot escape the finite resource of SPACE. Your population's density will grow and eventually you will run out of space, and you'd need to, once again, adapt.

(Now, there is a concept in ecology called "climax", where an ecosystem could theoretically perfectly balance itself and remain unchanged for a statistically long period of time, exiting the cycle of succession and in essence, slowing evolution to a crawl at best.

However, this is not only purely hypothetical and heavily debated, it also is not permanent. Even this "perfectly" balanced state of equilibrium cannot compete with the force that is geology and time. Even an ecosystem in climax would eventually be torn asunder by the changing climate and plate tectonics, not to mention neighboring ecosystems.)

There is no static environment and there is no static life, so it's impossible for there to be a "perfect" lifeform. There is no destination, there can't be.

"Not to Combat Nature"

This is Viktor's second statement, and it's... a very interesting choice of words.

Because this... is not actually in response to what Singed says about evolution. His statement is in response to what Viktor has to say about fate:

Viktor: Do you believe in fate, Doctor? Our paths, carved before us guided by... an invisible hand.

Singed: Not fate, evolution. Nature's greatest force, forever in flux.

Singed says he believes in THIS in place of a belief in fate. He doesn't see it as combating nature, but as a force of nature itself. Instead this is actually Viktor's own initial assumption and interpretation of evolution. That evolution combats nature. This is obviously false, and Singed is the one with the right idea.

Evolution is, in fact, a facit of nature itself, of life itself. It is an inseparable part of what defines life; the essence of something being organic in the first place. As I said before, all life evolves CONSTANTLY. We NEVER stop evolving. The results of evolution are often too slow for us to see within our lifetimes, but its still happening. As Singed says, we are "forever in flux".

But Viktor is arguing against something else entirely: that evolution combats nature, that it is an aggressive force, maybe even a destructive one.

Most importantly, to meet something in combat is to be on equal footing, presumably, a mutual struggle. Nature and evolution, equals in a battle that will never end, oscillating between perfection and flaw. This is Viktor's view of Singed's response and of evolution as it currently stands.

"But to Supercede It."

Viktor, however, does not see evolution and nature as equals. Instead, he sees the path of evolution as one that will overtake nature and surpass it. In Viktor's mind humanity is destined to break out of the chains of the organic concept of flaw itself.

But that's impossible, because evolution requires flaws in the first place.

I've talked about how there's no such thing as a perfect, ideal life form, and that alone squanders Viktor's idea of evolution. But it's not just his end goal that doesn't mesh with reality, but the very function of evolution itself.

Evolution relies on diversity. In order for a trait to be selected for or against it must first EXIST within the population. A trait cannot be selected for if the genes that encode for it aren't present, and what is the only way for new alleles come into existence? Mutation. Mistakes. You could even call them imperfections.

Everything that makes us human originated as an inconsistency in the process of DNA replication. We are a tapestry of imperfections, every single living organism on earth. If we didn't have diversity in our gene pools we would have never even become multicellular, we would not have been able to keep up with the changing world at all.

How can you supercede nature via evolution when its made us everything that we are BECAUSE of how messy and flawed nature is in the first place. It's a paradox.

Altogether, Viktor's idea of a destination is impossible, and the very foundations of evolution are built on imperfections. So you may ask yourself: Why does he even believe in this? Why does he say all of this despite being such an intelligent character? Surely he knows he's wrong, right?

"The Final, Glorious Evolution"

Viktor as a character is a lot of things. He's shown to be incredibly intelligent and hyper-competent. He wants to make the world a better place for people suffering because he himself suffered greatly. He's also a perfectionist.

When we first meet Viktor, we're introduced to him as the assistant to the dean of the academy who holds his head high and isn't afraid to be snarky with Jayce for blowing up his apartment. On a whim he chooses to help Jayce, to inspire him to risk it all for Hextech, to improve lives.

He stands with Jayce on the ledge saying no one ever believed in him, so instead he believed in himself. He appears to be incredibly confident.

But we see through the rest of season one that that confidence doesn't come from a place of genuine self love, it comes from security in his abilities. His self-worth is tied to his usefulness, to his impact on the world. Imperfections, in Viktor's eyes, are a mere hindrance.

Viktor isn't actually as confident in himself as he first appears. He postures himself with a lot of faith in what he's able to do, but when it comes to what he IS NOT able to do, he shrivels. He's a deeply insecure person. His disability and his status as a Zaunite have done little for him but hold him back. He thinks he needs fixing, that the undercity needs fixing, that humanity as a whole needs fixing.

So when the hexcore is manipulating him, of course it targets this view in him. Like Viktor, the hexcore wants to change the world to be in its image. It wants to replace all that is organic with that which is artificial, ideal. And so it sings the song of the glorious evolution to Viktor.

Imagine it, a world with no pain, no conflict, no struggle. No environmental pressures to contend with, because a perfect being cannot struggle, it can't make mistakes that lead to pain.

But when we see that imagined world, its a wasteland. In Viktor's own words, a field of dreamless solitude. A flat expanse where nothing can change or grow, nothing new can be experienced, none of humanity's warmth and emotion exist anymore.

"There Is No Prize to Perfection, Only an End to Pursuit"

At first I thought it was kind of silly that a scientist would ever misunderstand evolution to the degree Viktor has with this line. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that Viktor misunderstanding evolution is just another extension of his perfectionism. It's IMPORTANT that he's wrong actually, it's essential to his arc.

He can't perceive the truth of what evolution is at this point in the story because accepting that means accepting that there is beauty in imperfections.

And I think we all know that that lesson is one that he hadn't quit learned yet.

Thanks for reading my insane ramblings.

"There is beauty in imperfections. They made you who you are. An inseparable piece of everything I admired about you." - Jayce Talis

the Machine Herald

cannot watch the new episodes til tomorrow here’s a doodle of her 😔

only you

i promised you 🦋

(crossposting from x, bsky, & ig)

We can all agree that saying “glad we see eye to eye” to a CYCLOPS is foul behavior, but you know what’s worse?

Saying “I am your DARKEST MOMENT” to the guy you just BLINDED