I Am Trying. Truly. I'm Doing My Best, I Hope That's Enough.

there is something so comforting about sadness. about throwing things on your bedroom floor and not picking them up. about binging reality tv in the dark for 14 hours straight. about lying in your bed and not moving while the world continues to turn around you. overwhelming and heavy depression is comforting because it’s familiar. it allows you to sink into yourself and rot there for as long as you want. thats the vicious cycle with depression, it takes everything to not give into the comfort and familiarity that comes with it.

being in your twenties is like I should've k*lled myself but now it's too late

i am no longer available for things that make me feel like shit

I have a distinct memory of laying in my bed as a kid and wishing with all my heart that I would get hurt. That I would get into a bad car crash or I'd disappear. So my parents would cry and realize they didn't cherish me enough.

I find it sad that younger me thought she had to get hurt to feel loved.

I want to die.

But, I'm not gonna try to kms

Too much commitment

Dejaré de creer en la bondad del corazón humano hasta que el mismo ser humano me demuestre lo contrario.

I will stop believing in the goodness of the human heart until the same human being proves me otherwise.

dying inside while pretending that everything’s fine