Life Is Funny Isn't It? Just When You Think You've Got It All Figure Out, Just When You Finally Begin

warning, im gonna vent a lil

it’s really hard to comprehend how much i truly mean to someone. someone who was there since day one, who i’ve known all my life. they are the only person who knows me inside out and stayed when they saw who i really was. they liked me for me, and they never judged me a day in the years we spent together. how could someone leave after all that time?

all those promises, all those nights they reassured me that they’d never leave. that they’d never abandon me like everyone else did. all those nights i sobbed to them that i was scared that they’d leave, the same nights they’d convince me they were here to stay. even after all that, they still left. all those promises, all the things they had ever said to me meant nothing. i meant nothing to them.

and it’s not cruel that they left, it’s cruel because i wholeheartedly believed them.

“It’s always been hard for me to tell the difference between denial and what used to be known as hope.”

— Michael Chabon

“There’s always a little truth behind “just kidding”, a little knowledge behind “I don’t know”, a little emotion behind “I don’t care”, and a little pain behind “It’s okay”.”

— Unknown

Love's one heck of a thing.

“All relationships have one law: never make the one you love feel alone, especially when you’re there.”

— Unknown

“We need fantasy to survive because reality is too difficult.”

— Lady Gaga

The pain is overwhelming and there's nothing I can do or take to stop it. Cutting myself isn't enough.

i am no longer available for things that make me feel like shit