I’m Acting Like I’m Okay But I’m Not. I Really Need Fangs

Witch Positivity Culture is Toxic

A wild unscheduled post appears. I’ve just been seeing a lot of something lately that’s been bugging me and I wanted to put it into words, mostly for my own sake. Though my frustration here is rooted in my path as a shadow worker which is the topic I’m writing about this month so maybe it’s more of a prelude.

It’s really just a riff on what plenty of other people have put more eloquently – positivity culture is toxic – but with regards to the witchcraft community in particular. I see so many feel good posts about “When you don’t feel witchy enough…” followed by a list of affirmations. I watch people get responded to blithely when they ask questions about witchcraft with “everyone’s path is valid.” 

This, quite frankly, is incredibly shallow.

Feeling bad isn’t a bad thing. It’s positivity culture adding pressure to feel good about yourself and your practice all the time that makes these totally normal and helpful feelings into things that need to be soothed away, into feelings to reject. Feelings – even bad ones – exist to try to help us. This is more complicated in cases of mental illness but, for the most part, feelings exist to help you.

Your bad feelings about your practice help highlight an area that isn’t working for you. If you just try to affirm the feelings away, you’ll never figure out why the practice isn’t working for you in the first place. What I wish those posts would say instead is to look at why you don’t feel witchy enough and be honest with yourself. Are you actually doing the work of studying and practicing witchcraft? If not, then what could you do to improve it? If you’re not in a place to work on it right now, how can you practice acceptance for the season of life that you’re in?

That takes work and a willingness to reflect and change, but it does begin to actually resolve the underlying issue at hand. I find it preferable to having to reapply affirmations ad infinitum.

And I would chalk this up to a difference in taste if it weren’t how it works its way into all aspects of the witchcraft community. I have frequently been greeted with hostility and “all paths are valid” when I ask questions about how other people think through their witchcraft. The very act of asking questions – especially ones that are beyond a beginner’s level – gets treated as if people are invalidating whatever it is they’re seeking to understand. I’ve watched as some communities take a more aggressive stance with practical questions about intermediate witchcraft than they do actual racism, sexism, and homophobia.

Validation, like affirmation, is the easy and temporary way to cope with discomfort. “All paths are valid” is absolutely meaningless. It is a non-answer in almost every case I’ve seen it used. It’s also untrue. Paths that appropriate closed practices, have misogyny and racism imbedded in them or as part of the goal of their craft, that are used to justify and further transphobia – not fucking valid. The fixation on not invalidating anyone is wild to me. Why is it that in so many spaces that is valued over open discussion what our personal values and paths actually are?

One of the reasons it took me so long to call myself a witch and to practice more regularly is how this sheen of validity covered up everything useful from any sort of scrutiny to figure out whether it would work for me. It wasn’t until I finally found people who could be comfortable with their practice, did not seek my validation, and could answer my questions freely that I ever got anywhere.

I can’t control what other people do, but I since I’ve gotten a flurry of new followers I thought it might be good to restate one of my main principles with my work here on this blog – I will never make you comfortable with my materials at the expense of your well being. I will never affirm you staying the same when change is absolutely necessary.

This community wide discomfort with discomfort is toxic, stunts people trying to be become more skilled, and creates a haven for people reproducing systemic oppression in the community. If we don’t accept discomfort as a natural part of learning and growing, we run the risk of creating a space that is more focused on feeling like witch than actually being one.*

TL;DR – Feeling bad isn’t a bad thing, stop trying to affirm it away. Saying “every path is valid” gives racists, sexists, homophobes, and transphobes a pass and keeps people looking to learn in the dark. Discomfort with discomfort is toxic.

*I want to be clear that my definition of a witch in this case is someone who studies and uses witchcraft and isn’t tradition or skill dependent.

Red Moths

Creature of the night

it’s honestly a crime that stores sell no halloween decorations yet

Vampires are goth and werewolves are punk if you get what I'm saying.

no i don’t buy halloween decor. i buy home decor. my apartment isn’t “decorated for halloween all year” it’s just decorated.

Halloween is a state of mind.

you want to bite someone. we love and respect that

vampirecore

i appreciate your support :) <3

i didn't stay out of the sun for my entire life just to be told that i'm looking "a little sick" instead of like a cool and mysterious vampire