HELLO I BEG YOU PLEASE TAG ME ON YOUR FICS???? YOUR WRITING IS WAY TOO GOOD PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

Mayor Cuts Down Man’s 30-Year-Old Majestic Tree, His Revenge Is Awesome

This is one of the best stories we read in a long time. An arborist AKA a tree caretaker and tree surgeon from Redondo Beach, California had to watch the death of one of his favorite trees, which was ordered by the mayor. Although he lost a great battle, he won the war. Find out how he avenged the death of his 30-year-old pepper tree named Clyde.

His story was recently shared online and has already been shared over 150k times. RIP Clyde.

Credits: GoblinsStoleMyHouse

I don’t know what’s funnier:

1) The method of breeding basilisks. 2) The fact that Newt provides instructions for breeding them. 3) The fact that Newt provides tips for evading the law while breeding a basilisk.  Also, didn’t he work for that Ministry department??? It’s official. Newt Scamander is the Arthur Weasley of magical beasts. 

Prompt-based fandom events are when you really learn everyone’s colors like you’ll find the people who take the prompt “death” and come up with some smarmy ship-art of character A and character B walking over dead leaves while wearing scarves and drinking hot cider and then you’ll find the people who take the prompt “sunshine” and write how a bright glint of sunshine reflected off the barrel of a gun is the absolute last thing character A sees before taking a bullet to the chest

you can lead a content creator to water but you sure as fuck can’t make him drink

A Really Fucking Vulgar Guide to Not Losing Your Shit in College (Condensed Version)

Bitches love to put things into lists. Moreover, bitches love numbered shit. Here’s some numbered shit in list format to help you not suck in higher education. You’re welcome.

1. Go to class. Like 210% serious. I don’t give a shit if you’re a get by on nothing, A+ slacker. You’re fucking paying for this crap so you might as well get the services owed to you. Take your ass to class even if you zone out 99% of the time. You know 1% more than you did when you walked up in there. Congrats, asshole.

2. All that free time you have during your first week of classes? Make it your bitch. Don’t just print the goddamn syllabus and be like all done. No motherfucker. Take a good fucking look at that assignment list. What’s due next week? Yeah, do that shit now bc I know you don’t have anything else to do. Then when you’re coughing up a lung six weeks into the semester and don’t feel like getting your ass up to do that calculus homework, you’ll remember this week. You’ll remember that you’ve been a week ahead this whole damn semester. Pat yourself on the back, ass wipe.

3. Prepare yo self. No seriously. You got notes to print for class? Sure you could be like all those other bitches and just shove them into your backpack, or you could actually /prepare/ for class. I’m talking looking that shit over, identifying key concepts, getting a decent grasp of the material before your ass is even in class. You a STEM major? Yeah, make this kinda shit your life because now class is like one bomb ass group review session. Again, you’re welcome.

4. Snack like a motherfucker, but save that junk food shit for the weekends. From now on, you are a fucking health guru during the week or if you’re a slacker like me, at least on the days you have class. Fruits? Hell yeah. Pack some of those. Mind wandering in class? Snack on some apple slices. Can’t stay awake? Keep eating some almonds or some shit, but don’t be that bitch with the potato chips. Just don’t.

5. Read. Yeah, you heard me. Read and I’m not just talking assigned reading. I bet my left butt cheek that your campus library has /something/ of interest to you. Commuting and don’t want to drive out there? Library databases bro. We’re in the digital age, motherfucker. I’d bet my other butt cheek that the shit you want is in a nice little PDF somewhere. But na man, you thinking maybe you want to go into computer science? Check out computer science books and eat them up bro. You don’t like reading them? Probably not the field for you. You a biology major in your second year? Yeah dumbass. Time to break out the bio books and not the ones your professor is shoving in your face. Amaze your friends and teachers with your out of class knowledge. Be a fucking star.

It's the good kind of chaos that hurts in the satisfying way

the current state of my life

How do kisses actually feel?

Reblog if you’ve got 1001 OTPs and root for them to kiss every second and read about prolly a hundred kisses per day in fanfiction and live for the ones that make your heart skip but have never been kissed yourself

(and consequently wondered if maybe saliva exchange wouldn’t be gross)

I’m feelin the city tonite. Someone find some chillhop. NYC, NY the empire state building on June 29, 2015. (at New York) https://www.instagram.com/p/BqddWUChoQw/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=q8op9eu5c099

Philosophy much? :)

It always creeps me out...

…that no matter

how close

you get

the pupil

seems to

devour light

like a black hole

it reflects no light

Yes please I can not be the only one who wants the ORIGINAL Teen Titans back!!