This One Liberal Dude On Twitter Made The (correct) Take That Parents Have Overwhelming Power Over Their

Characters in Different Roles

Planning on doing more maybe

accidentally went into a men's restroom because I glimpsed the letters "M-E-N" and recognized those as the last three letters of "women" and thought I had all the information I needed

why is a dresser with a mirror called a "vanity", as though to shame the user? imagine if kitchen cabinets were called "gluttonies"

Double Click the Mouse now with new eyes

metroid is about isolation

but metroid is also about learning to do trick jumps from random animals who celebrate when you get it right, and about saving them even as the planet shudders under your feet

and metroid is about lowering your gun when you meet the last of a species who's only just hatched, and gently holding out your hand

and metroid is about accidentally calling the name of someone you care about, who you thought you'd lost, and finding out they've been with you the whole time

and about a little scribble of a child with their parents tucked into the corner of a grand mural

and about the gifts left behind by others because they may be gone before they get to meet you, but that won't stop them from helping you

metroid is about love actually

i dont consider myself a 'fashion guru' by any means but one thing i will say is guys you dont need to know the specific brand an item you like is - you need to know what the item is called. very rarely does a brand matter, but knowing that pair of pants is called 'cargo' vs 'boot cut' or the names of dress styles is going to help you find clothes you like WAAAYYYY faster than brand shopping

I heard some schools in the eastern US are closing today.

I guess the kids' education has been...

eclipsed by other concerns! 🥁

YOU LOVE MILKCAN #MILKCAN

I unironically really enjoy the opera-rap + tuba sections.

Okay so it’s finals season which means I’ve cracked and need to go on my ramble about one of my favorite pieces of music of all time: The Most Unwanted Song.

The thing about this song isn’t that it’s bad. It’s a special kind of horrific. It’s so bad it crosses the invisible artistic barrier and becomes brilliant. And it was designed for that. 

See back in the 1990s these two artists decided to make a series of paintings (I promise it’s connected). Graphic designers  Vitaly Komar and Alexander Melamid sat down to create the “best” and “worst” paintings based on opinion polls. There’s commentary about public opinion in there, but that’s not the point right now. The point is, they were approached by a gallery owner and asked to make a CD using the same principle. 

So they started polling people. Turns out, the American public, when asked about what they hate in music, has a lot of answers. Winning answers included bagpipes, opera, rap, intellectually stimulating music (hah!), cowboy music, swearing in music, long songs, songs about America, children’s choirs, advertising jingles, and accordions. 

And then they set out to put all those things into one song with the help of Dave Soldier. 

And boy did they succeed. 

In order to make this song work, they couldn’t just have all the individual elements working separately. There wasn’t time for that, and they would have lost a lot of unity. So they went the inventive direction. So that’s why we have a opera-rap soprano singing lyrics with casual profanity about being a cowboy and philosophical discussions. That’s how we get this: 

It’s 22 minutes long. 22 minutes to consider your place in the universe. 

People also hate politics in songs, so at the end someone screams a protest rant through a bullhorn. At one point it sounds like someone is throwing up in the background. 

The best part of this, of course is that it was done by professional musicians. It’s pretty clear that they know what they’re doing and are choosing to do it really really badly. It adds to that flavor of chaos. 

I genuinely believe that everyone should listen to this song at least once. If nothing else, it will be funny.