My Friend Is Reading Me A Story ^.^ Thank You So Much @xiaokuer-schmetterling!!

"I can be myself when I'm with you" is a top tier compliment

i jist accidentaly dranknmy guitar

saw an episode of Kitchen Nightmares where Gordon sadly complained about how hungry he was after the tasting phase of the episode like yeah man every single place you go to you pick at your food for five minutes, take one bite and say "Absolutely Horrid. Take back this entire plate." you should've brought some granola bars or some shit you've been expecting this

beastie boys music is funny as hell one of them will say a line and then the other two will say a completely unrelated line

A couple mousy commissions!

INFO

When Old MacDonald needs credit, he writes an EIEIOU.

I accidentally reblogged horny on main earlier today. If you're one of my friends who prefer to *avoid* finding out about my kinks and you were there for the several-second window before I fixed it, I sincerely oop.

those candy-cane-shaped m&m tubes they make for christmas, every time i see one i cannot resist holding it like a pistol and going pew pew

I unironically really enjoy the opera-rap + tuba sections.

Okay so it’s finals season which means I’ve cracked and need to go on my ramble about one of my favorite pieces of music of all time: The Most Unwanted Song.

The thing about this song isn’t that it’s bad. It’s a special kind of horrific. It’s so bad it crosses the invisible artistic barrier and becomes brilliant. And it was designed for that. 

See back in the 1990s these two artists decided to make a series of paintings (I promise it’s connected). Graphic designers  Vitaly Komar and Alexander Melamid sat down to create the “best” and “worst” paintings based on opinion polls. There’s commentary about public opinion in there, but that’s not the point right now. The point is, they were approached by a gallery owner and asked to make a CD using the same principle. 

So they started polling people. Turns out, the American public, when asked about what they hate in music, has a lot of answers. Winning answers included bagpipes, opera, rap, intellectually stimulating music (hah!), cowboy music, swearing in music, long songs, songs about America, children’s choirs, advertising jingles, and accordions. 

And then they set out to put all those things into one song with the help of Dave Soldier. 

And boy did they succeed. 

In order to make this song work, they couldn’t just have all the individual elements working separately. There wasn’t time for that, and they would have lost a lot of unity. So they went the inventive direction. So that’s why we have a opera-rap soprano singing lyrics with casual profanity about being a cowboy and philosophical discussions. That’s how we get this: 

It’s 22 minutes long. 22 minutes to consider your place in the universe. 

People also hate politics in songs, so at the end someone screams a protest rant through a bullhorn. At one point it sounds like someone is throwing up in the background. 

The best part of this, of course is that it was done by professional musicians. It’s pretty clear that they know what they’re doing and are choosing to do it really really badly. It adds to that flavor of chaos. 

I genuinely believe that everyone should listen to this song at least once. If nothing else, it will be funny.