Oh Boy You Have Absolutely No Idea

Sirius (testing Lily’s veritaserum)

Lily (squinting): Is it working?

Sirius (shrugging): I don’t know, ask me something

Marlene: Do you have any secrets you’re keeping?

Sirius (red faced and breathing hard): N-no

Lily (laughing): He’s fighting it! It is working! Just say it Sirius, no one’s gonna hurt you

Sirius (nervously): During our third year, Marlene asked me what product I use to get my eye lashes to look so good and I told her that I rub butter on them to make them look like that

Marlene (speechless)

Sirius (crying): It was a lie! I lied because I wanted to mess with you and every time I saw you take a little cup of butter to your room, I laughed! My eyelashes aren’t naturally this nice, I use mascara and I let you rub butter on your eyelashes for months!

Lily (confused): What the fuck, how deranged do you have to be to trick someone into rubbing butter on their eyelashes?

Marlene (angrily shoving Sirius): You fucking bitch! I smelled like butter for months and it gave me acne!

Sirius (sobbing): Last year Lily called me stupid so I slipped eye of newt in her potion so it exploded in her face! I have a severe distrust of authority and I’m extremely claustrophobic to the point where Regulus locked me in a closet one time and I accidentally set it on fire to escape and then a year later I snuck into the Slytherin dorms and rubbed hot sauce inside his underwear so he’d get a burn and everyone would think he had an STD-

Lily (horrified): Sirius you can stop now, it works-

Sirius (sobbing): I used James’ razor that he uses to shave his face on my body one time because he tripped me and I didn’t tell him! Sometimes when I’m bored, I’ll go the muggle section of the library and look up muggle laws and see which ones I can break. I’m currently wanted for tax evasion in France.

Lily (horrified): Okay we’re done here-

Remus (walking in): What‘s happening?

Sirius (crying): What the fuck is a tax? Then there was the time James flirted with Regulus so I convinced him to stick his finger in a power outlet and when he got shocked I pretended that I didn’t know that would happen. And do you guys remember that one time that Snape was chased around Hogsmeade by a large, black dog? That was m-

Remus (clamping his hand on Sirius’ mouth and dragging him out of the room): Nope! That’s enough for today!

resurrection stone 

anyways I thought it was kinda dumb that they were so chill with Harry going to get himself killed so here’s my theory that the stone just wants u to off urself ://

Moony through the ages

I went through all this trouble just to say that Dorian Gray is a dumbass thot.

I regret nothing xD I been trying to draw something for beastars since the first time I read it around April 2019 but could never do something I was happy with. Until I found a little fanfic called “we’re only animals” and this piece came out, a gift of the creator for doing such a good job! here is the link if someone is interested: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21767578/chapters/51935908 I hope you guys like it

“Eclipsa, what does she have to do with this?”

And the plot thickens

Based on the colors post by @laughincryintumblinmumblin

euripides, from “orestes”, an oresteia (trans. anne carson) // dead poets society, dir. peter weir // kill your darlings // if we were villains

People on twitter were bringing up In a Heartbeat again and I had to...

1976-1996