Adding To This, I Remember Being In Third Or Fourth Grade, I'm Not Too Sure, I Had Had An Argument With

Adding to this, I remember being in third or fourth grade, I'm not too sure, I had had an argument with my only friend, and I spent the day walking around the playground and singing to myself about how only the school, the fucking building, was my friend.

I look back on that and now understand why I'm a people pleaser

There's no lonelier feeling than thinking that a building is your only friend.

People underestimate how much it fucks you up to be subtly excluded as a kid. I would try to talk to my classmates and be met with disinterest or annoyance. The one friend I had, who I clung to and nodded along to his every word, had other friends he liked just as much or more. And his other friends didn’t care for me at all.

I look back at pictures from the time and see how separated I was from them. I remember knowing I was different. I remember posing questions about the world to the girls playing next to me and realizing that they had never asked the same ones to themselves. That the ways we thought couldn’t be more different.

I kept myself amused with my own fanatical stories and musings in my head. I would wander the playground on a circular path, imagining a friend and being sorely disappointed when it didn’t feel as real as I’d hoped.

There was a bubble separating me from everyone else, thin, and nearly invisible, but with a pearly sheen you could catch under the right conditions. I knew it was there, they knew it was there, and it changed me

More Posts from Fiulanda113 and Others

3 weeks ago

Mushy May Day 9: Lazy Days

Pairing: Rain/Mountain

Characters: Rain, Mountain

Tags: Fluff, Lazy Mornings, cuddling

Word count: 181

Summary: Mushy May Day 9

Rain and Mountain have a lazy day in their room, that’s about it.

Fic below the cut or in ao3

@forlorn-crows

Rain’s eyes slowly opened and he took everything in, the feeling of Mountain’s arms wrapped around him in a loose, yet loving embrace, the soft light of the sun filtering through the curtains, and the - not as good - tiredness from the previous day that still haunted him.

Rain took in the steady rise and fall of Mountain’s chest against his back, he always found it to be a grounding feeling, knowing that his mate was right there with him.

Then, he felt Mountain begin to wake up. Like many other mornings, the taller ghoul first took in Rain’s scent, then held onto him tighter. Rain smiled and looked up at him. “Morning, lilypad”

Mountain replied with a quiet nose, which made Rain chuckle. “Are you tired from yesterday too?” Ask Rain, earning a small nod from the taller ghoul. “Can we stay here today?” Mountain finally spoke.

“Yeah,” said rain as he turned around in the taller’s arms and nuzzled into the side of his neck. He knew they wouldn’t be moving from the bed in at least a few hours.


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1 month ago

I do think fandom would be wildly different if people respected fanfic writing. And I don’t mean treating it as a skill you need to improve or comparing it to published writing—I mean treating it as a hobby worth respect no matter the effort or perceived skill. You don’t look at someone’s art sketches and tell them to go study paintings to improve or to only post something polished. You don’t tell people admiring fanart to go to the moma instead. You don’t go to a gif maker and ask for more gifs minutes after they post. Or ask someone who writes a song to make a second song or tell them how you think they should improve it to your taste. So why do you do all these things to fic writers

2 months ago

Hey! I hope you're doing well. I’m reaching out because I really need help getting more eyes on my pinned post. It’s for a family in need, and a simple reblog could make a huge difference. Would you mind boosting it? Thank you so much! 💛

Sure thing

1 month ago

Omg I saw a clip from that Q&A Tobias did recently with fans, and I guess people were asking about Perpetua's personality. And someone in the crowd shouted out "He's a cunt" and Tobias repeated it as in to make sure he heard it right. And the announcer guy straight up went "There are children here" and Tobias immediately went "Oh, he's a Count 😊"

2 months ago
Remembering When Sodo And Aether Exchanged Their Guitars
Remembering When Sodo And Aether Exchanged Their Guitars

remembering when Sodo and Aether exchanged their guitars

4 weeks ago

Reblog if you’re polyamorous, support polyamorous people, or think polyamorous people and relationships are valid

1 month ago
Credit To: User

Credit to: user

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fiulanda113 - Fiulanda113
Fiulanda113

Writer, mostly Ghost Band. If you need anything, don't hesitate to rant to me

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