Worst Day Ever

i am shrunken down and brought to the gnome world and when i attempt to assimilate to their culture I use an acorn cap as a hat and they all laugh cheerfully at my silly mistake of wearing what they use as a bowl like a cap and though this is a transgression that would have humiliated me in my human life I am instead laughing alongside them at my humorous misunderstanding

Years ago my sister told me abt how she used to play online survival games like Rust or something etc. w her friends and she'd go in VC this over-the-top 'girly' voice like "ummm hey I don't play videogames much and I reeeaaallly don't know what's going on teehee, can anyone pleaaase come help me I'm so confused" and then when some guy showed up all of her friends would swarm and kill

If I’m out / don’t have access to a charger and my phone dips below 25% I have to treat it like five nights at freddy I need to conserve this shif or im getting shoved into a murder fursuit

so-called “old man fuckers” when you desire a man over the age of 50

Something I made. It's amazing how these two found each other❤️

Okay though, but the fact that nandor memorized it, BUT THEN SAYS "close enough"

What. Does. The. Card. Say. Nandor.

i bet cavemen were doing some pentatonix acapella shit all the time

it's so annoying when people talk about weed like it's a psychedelic you aren't having any kind of breakthrough on it you're just dumb temporarily. weed is for being a dog and eating 40 mcnuggets. or doing anal

women invented lesbian sex so they could have sex with each other