MY BODY IS A MACHINE THAT TURNS BURRITOS AND CHEESEBURGERS AND SPAGHETTI AND PIZZA AND CHERRY COLA AND

Okay though, but the fact that nandor memorized it, BUT THEN SAYS "close enough"

What. Does. The. Card. Say. Nandor.

help me

women invented lesbian sex so they could have sex with each other

Exactly

jerking off gnome style

I act so chill but I am the world's most impatient and scared person

Am I playing the Resident Evil 2 Remake even though I’m easily scared and avoid the horror genre like the plague just because I think Leon S Kennedy is hot?

*deep deep deep sigh* Yes. Yes I am 😔👊

(trying any drink) hmm not bad, though it pales in comparison to apple juice