2023

that toxic intense homoerotic female friendship you had from ages 13-16 is like. you were my best friend, you’re the reason I have trust issues, being with you was the worst years of my life, I had the best years of my life with you, I hate you, I can never let you go, every second song makes me think of you, I miss being able to make you laugh, I am jealous of your boyfriend, you are not a girl anymore, neither am I, our paths keep running parallel while we try to prise ourselves apart, I still turn around when someone calls your name. i wish i hated you. i hope you never touch me again, i want to hug you forever, i want to cradle you on the bathroom floor like the day before the world locked down when you sobbed for me to take you back. we shaped each other’s adolescence like clay in our hands. i know your deepest fears. I don’t know what you thought of that exam. I moved classes to get away from your presence in the second row - i shared my last ever school lesson with you by my side. we have inside jokes but never dare say them. we both loved each other more than we loved ourselves. sometimes i want to make a joke and then remember with a jolt that only you and i would find it funny. whenever i see a bird crash into a window I remember you cradling that magpie in your jacket. they’ll never understand you like i do. I want you to tell me what you really think. I want you to never say a word to me. you never understood me like I needed you to. every night I wear the pajama pants you got me as a birthday present. if i had never met you i would be a different person (!) … if I had never met you, I would be a different person. you taught me a secret language I cant speak with anyone else. 

anyone else here gay and losing their mind 

my blog is, and always will be, a safe place for people who are not confident in their english speaking abilities. you will never be judged or mocked here.

every time I see LGBTQ discourse I think about that post that said masc cis lesbians get kicked out of bathrooms as cruelly as trans people do so why the fuck are some lesbians transphobic , and I think about how homophobes won’t check for your sexuality before calling us slurs and I think about how my local dyke March considers anyone who identifies as a dyke a dyke because fuck rainbow capitalism we are here to fight for our lives and I think about how my best friends are bisexual and I think about how lesbians have been loving each other in ways that the gender binary has never been able to understand(and never will) and I think about that post that says the worst thing the right did was convince queer people other queer people were the enemy

characters who are absolutely convinced down to their bones that they are unlovable being subjected to the mortifying ideal of being wholly and unconditionally loved. that’s the good stuff. never get tired of it.

idk I just personally think that getting chills from music is the best part of being alive. like when a song is so good you can feel it in your whole body. that’s why I’m here.

me seeing purple flowers on a lawn: that’s the prettiest thing i’ve ever seen

me seeing sunlight hit the waves of the sea: that’s the prettiest thing i’ve ever seen

me seeing raindrops sparkle colorfully on a bus stop bench at night: that’s the

you may notice i use the phrase "my beloved" frequently. this is because i am in love with the world and everything in it. hope this clears things up <3

(consent is important with non-sexual touch too)