Hey Kid You Want A Job?

Hey kid you want a job?

Great get online and go to a job board. Indeed, Linkedin whatever. Now you're gonna search for a role that's in your city, fits your qualifications, and doesn't seem like a bad time.

See that easy apply button? Don't hit it they just throw those in the trash. Now you're gonna want to go to the company's website and check their careers page.

Oh? That job doesn't exist anymore. Cool go back to the job board and find another one.

Great you found another job, you're on the company's career page and the job exists!! So you're going to need to make an account on the career page website. They're using Workday, the same site as the last job you applied for? Who cares? You need to make another account for THIS job's workday page.

Now you're going to upload your resume. That'll autopopulate about 15 boxes with everything on your resume, except formatted wrong and with tons of errors. So just go through and painstakingly check the dates on all of that and rewrite everything you already laid out in an aesthetically pleasing format on your resume.

Ok time for the cover letter, explain why this specific job and company are deeply important to you. You love their mission statement and wouldn't even laugh if their ceo was gunned down in the street. You'll really want to reiterate the things you just spent the last 20 minutes filling out on the resume section

(Remember to include language from the job description, people who work in HR are lower than dogs and they need patterns or they get confused.) Write about a page, but hey don't sound too desperate or robotic this is where they judge your character!

Maybe add your portfolio site at the end here, who knows if that helps no one has ever clicked mine haha.

Anywayyy time to hit apply! Congrats! You'll see that confirmation email come in and you should be getting the rejection letter in about 2 weeks. Unfortunately your resume didn't have the right buzzwords and the AI auto rejected you :(

Time to start again and try not to kill yourself!

More Posts from Foggedupforsaken and Others

3 months ago

ABBA - Gimme Gimme Gimme

8-bit version (square waves)

1 year ago

I'm gonna make a post with all of the 'stick figure violence' adjacent images I have. if anyone knows any similar ones I'm missing PLEASE SEND ME THEM. I have an unhealthy obsession with them.

I'm Gonna Make A Post With All Of The 'stick Figure Violence' Adjacent Images I Have. If Anyone Knows
I'm Gonna Make A Post With All Of The 'stick Figure Violence' Adjacent Images I Have. If Anyone Knows
I'm Gonna Make A Post With All Of The 'stick Figure Violence' Adjacent Images I Have. If Anyone Knows
I'm Gonna Make A Post With All Of The 'stick Figure Violence' Adjacent Images I Have. If Anyone Knows
I'm Gonna Make A Post With All Of The 'stick Figure Violence' Adjacent Images I Have. If Anyone Knows
I'm Gonna Make A Post With All Of The 'stick Figure Violence' Adjacent Images I Have. If Anyone Knows
I'm Gonna Make A Post With All Of The 'stick Figure Violence' Adjacent Images I Have. If Anyone Knows
I'm Gonna Make A Post With All Of The 'stick Figure Violence' Adjacent Images I Have. If Anyone Knows
I'm Gonna Make A Post With All Of The 'stick Figure Violence' Adjacent Images I Have. If Anyone Knows
I'm Gonna Make A Post With All Of The 'stick Figure Violence' Adjacent Images I Have. If Anyone Knows
2 years ago

P.1 Common Herbs A-Z

This is A-C of some common herbs and their uses

*longer read*

Acorn

Good luck

Protection

Wisdom

Personal power

A dried acorn is an excellent natural amulet for keeping a youthful appearance.

Allspice

Money

Luck

Healing

Obtaining treasure

Provides added determination and energy to any spells and charms. Burn crushed allspice to attract luck and money. Use in herbal baths for healing.

Almond

Wisdom

Money

Fruitfulness

Prosperity

Invokes the healing energy of the deities. Provides magickal help for overcoming dependencies & addiction. Associated with Candlemas and Beltane. Carry, wear, or use as incense to attract abundance.

Aloe

Protection

Luck

Place on the grave of a loved one to promote peaceful energy. Thought to relieve loneliness and assist with success. Hang in the home to attract luck and protection for those who live there. Grow in the home to provide protection from household accidents. Burn on the night of a full moon to bring a new lover by the new moon.

Apple

Love

Garden Magick

Immortality

Friendship

Healing

Place seven apple seeds in a bag with Orris Root to attract sexual love. Use in rituals to give honor to gods and goddesses of fertility. Considered the food of the dead, which is why Samhain is called the 'Feast of Apples'. Symbolizes the soul and is burned at Samhain in honor of those who will be reborn in the spring. When doing a house blessing, cut an apple in half -- eat half and put the other half outside of the home as an offering.

Apricot

Love

Add leaves and flowers to love sachets or carry apricot pits to attract love.

Banana

Fertility

Potency

Prosperity

Basil

Love

Exorcism

Wealth

Sympathy

Protection

Dispels confusion, fears & weakness. Drives off hostile spirits. Associated with Candlemas. Carry to move forward in a positive manner despite perilous danger. Strewn on floors to provide protection from evil. Sprinkle an infusion of basil outside of the building where you hope to be employed for luck in a job interview or in your business to attract money and success. Wear or carry to aid in attracting money and prosperity.

Bay leaf

Protection

Good fortune

Success

Purification

Strength

Healing

Psychic powers

Write wishes on the leaves and then burn the leaves to make the wishes come true. Place under the pillow (or use in dream pillow) to induce prophetic dreams. Place in the corner of each room in the house to protect all that dwell there. Carry bay leaf to protect yourself against black magick.

Black pepper

Banishing negativity

Exorcism

Protection from evil

Blackberry

Healing

Protection

Money

Sacred to Brighid. Leaves and berries said to attract wealth and healing.

Bluebell

Luck

Truth

Friendship

Incorporate into rituals of death & dying to comfort those left behind and ease their sorrow.

Blueberry

Protection

Though not recommended, blueberry is said to cause confusion & strife when tossed in the doorway or path of an enemy.

Burdock

Used for cleansing magick when feeling highly negative about oneself or others. Use in protection incenses and spells. Rinse with a decoction of burdock to remove negative feelings about yourself or others.

Cabbage

Fertility

Profit

Good luck

Lunar magick

Money magick

Cactus

Chastity

Banishing

Protection.

Bury with other banishing symbols for protection. Grow in the home or garden to prevent unwanted intrusions. Place in all directions of the home (north, south, east, and west) for full protection.

Cardamom

Lust

Love

Fidelity

Carrot

Lust

Fidelity

Cashew

Money

Celery

Mental powers

Psychic powers

Lust

Fertility

Male potency

Chamomile

Love

Healing

Reducing stress.

Add to a sachet or spell to increase the chances of its success. Sprinkle an infusion of chamomile around the house to remove hexes, curses and spells. Burn or add to prosperity bags to increase money. Burn as incense for de-stressing, meditation, and restful sleep. Wash hands in an infusion of chamomile for luck before gambling or playing cards. Use in bath magick to attract love. Keep a packet of the herb with lottery tickets for luck.

Cherry

Love

Divination

Gaiety

Happiness

Chestnut

Love

Chilli Pepper

Fidelity

Love

Hex breaking

Scatter powder around the house to break hexes and spells against you. Use in love charms & spells.

Chives

Protection

Weight loss *weight loss spells can be dangerous*

Cinnamon

Spirituality

Success

Healing

Protection

Power

Love

Luck

Strength

Prosperity

Burn as an incense or use in a sachet to raise spiritual and protective vibrations, draw money, and stimulate psychic powers. A popular herb for use in charms to draw money & prosperity. Wear in an amulet to bring passion.

Citronella 

Draws friends to the home, customers to the business. Promotes eloquence, persuasiveness, and prosperity. Protects and cleanses the aura. Encourages self-expression and creativity (great for writers & actors!) and brings clarity to the mind. Repels insects and deodorizes

Clove

Exorcism

Love

Money

Protection

Coconut 

Chastity

Protection

Purification

Coffee

Helps to dispel nightmares and negative thoughts and to overcome internal blockages. Provides peace of mind and grounding.

Coriander

Love

Health

Immortality

Protection.

Tie fresh coriander with a ribbon and hang in the home to bring peace & protection. Add to love charms and spells to bring romance or use in ritual work to ease the pain of a broken love affair. Promotes peace among those who are unable to get along. Throw the seeds in lieu of rice during Handfastings and other rituals of union. Use the seeds in love sachets and spells. Add powdered seeds to wine for an effective lust potion. Wear or carry the seeds to ward off disease and migraines.

Cucumber

Chastity

Fertility

Healing

Cumin

Fidelity

Protection

Exorcism.

The seed is said to prevent the theft of any object which contains it. Burn with frankincense for protection. Scatter on the floor alone or with salt to drive out evil. Use in love spells to promote fidelity. Steep in wine to make love potions.

Curry

Protection

Burn curry powder to keep evil forces away.

And as always, merry meet <3

Atti

(photo - attichaos)

P.1 Common Herbs A-Z

Tags
1 year ago

hot artists don't gatekeep

I've been resource gathering for YEARS so now I am going to share my dragons hoard

Floorplanner. Design and furnish a house for you to use for having a consistent background in your comic or anything! Free, you need an account, easy to use, and you can save multiple houses.

Comparing Heights. Input the heights of characters to see what the different is between them. Great for keeping consistency. Free.

Magma. Draw online with friends in real time. Great for practice or hanging out. Free, paid plan available, account preferred.

Smithsonian Open Access. Loads of free images. Free.

SketchDaily. Lots of pose references, massive library, is set on a timer so you can practice quick figure drawing. Free.

SculptGL. A sculpting tool which I am yet to master, but you should be able to make whatever 3d object you like with it. free.

Pexels. Free stock images. And the search engine is actually pretty good at pulling up what you want.

Figurosity. Great pose references, diverse body types, lots of "how to draw" videos directly on the site, the models are 3d and you can rotate the angle, but you can't make custom poses or edit body proportions. Free, account option, paid plans available.

Line of Action. More drawing references, this one also has a focus on expressions, hands/feet, animals, landscapes. Free.

Animal Photo. You pose a 3d skull model and select an animal species, and they give you a bunch of photo references for that animal at that angle. Super handy. Free.

Height Weight Chart. You ever see an OC listed as having a certain weight but then they look Wildly different than the number suggests? Well here's a site to avoid that! It shows real people at different weights and heights to give you a better idea of what these abstract numbers all look like. Free to use.

1 month ago

im sure someone already made a post about it but i came across a ublock origin add-on that blacklists around 950 AI websites and disables AI overview ☝️ so u can be free from seeing AI in your search

1 month ago

wikipedia no longer being anywhere near the top of search results when looking up anything feels eviscerating

1 year ago

oc asks that reveal more than you think

Do they sleep with a stuffed animal? If they have multiple, who’s the favorite?

Can they take care of a plant? What about a pet? What about a child?

Ask them to describe their love interest.

Do they look good in red?

Speech! Speech! Speech! Speech! Will they give one, and what about?

Who will they take advice from, no matter what it is? Who won’t they take advice from, no matter what it is?

Describe them in three words. Now let them describe themself in three words.

Do complex puzzles intrigue or frustrate them?

Do they empathize with non-sentient things (dolls, plants, books…)?

What age do they most want to be right now?

They’ve won the lottery. Spend, or save?

Do they like romance in the books they read (or in the book they’re in)?

Name one thing their parents taught them.

Would they agree with the term ‘guilty pleasure’? Do they have any?

What would they consider a waste of time– other than school or work?

If money wasn’t a limit, what would they wear?

Do they like children?

Kissing: tongue or no tongue?

Do they study before tests? Practice before job interviews?

What do they like that nobody else does?

What would it take for them to break up with someone? What would be the last straw?

Do they like being called pet names? Do they call other people pet names? What’s their go-to?

Stability or novelty?

Honesty or charity?

Safety or possibility?

Talent or effort?

Forgiveness or vengeance (or…)?

Would they date a fixer-upper?

What recurring dreams do they have?

What would they do if they knew it would be forgiven?

1 year ago

i know we're all sick of self-care being a marketing tactic now, but i don't think a lot of us have any other concept of self-care beyond what companies have tried to sell us, so i thought i'd share my favorite self-care hand out

I Know We're All Sick Of Self-care Being A Marketing Tactic Now, But I Don't Think A Lot Of Us Have Any
I Know We're All Sick Of Self-care Being A Marketing Tactic Now, But I Don't Think A Lot Of Us Have Any

brought to you by how mad i just got at a Target ad

1 year ago

tbh i think the funniest phenomena that's been happening in the last couple years is "youtuber, having gone too deep into the research hole, has been made an investigative journalist against their will"

1 year ago
RECIPES I KEEP IN MY ONLINE KITCHEN WITCH JOURNAL #2

RECIPES I KEEP IN MY ONLINE KITCHEN WITCH JOURNAL #2

I love making these oh my gosh.

Why?

It's really fun

It's been a while since my last one

I get an excuse to try yummy recipes

You all are way too good at what you do

It's fun x2

Teas, Drinks, And Syrups

🍊 Orange Peel Tea 🍊

Violet Lemonade

Coconut Summer Drink

Dandelion Honey

The Best Hot Spiced Cider recipe you’ll ever try

Apple Cider is basically a homesteading spell

Rose Lemonade Syrup

100-Year Garlic (Garlic Honey)

Fire Cider Spell for Winter Protection

Blackberry & Apple Jam

Witchy Recipes - Blackberry Lemonade

Baked Goods + Sweets

Prosperity Bread

Lavender Earl Grey Cookies

Easy Rosemary Focaccia Loaf for Love and Protection

Heavenly Lavender Scones

Honey Vanilla Peach Butter 🍑

Pumpkin Pie Dip 🎃

Vanilla-Pumpkin Cupcakes

Soups, Stews, And Dinners

Super simple secret potato soup

Forest Porridge

Heartwarming potato soup

Perfect Homemade Garlic Bread

Creamy vegetable soup

Springtime Soup

Stuffed Maple dijon glazed roasted butternut squash

Summertime stir fry

Sabbat Stuff

Litha Orange Honey Cake

Litha Thyme Chicken

Stuffed Apples for Mabon

Mabon Mug

Imbolc Pretzel wreath

Oatmeal Bread for Lughnasadh

Samhain Mulled Cider

Samhain Irish Apple Cake

Angel's Best

(my favorite recipe posts I've made over the years, plus backstories that sound like your grandmother's reminiscing over the past.)

LATE WINTER BUTTER ROLLS

My first post I ever made. I was pretty new to the tumblr community at the time. I loved kitchen witchcraft, and I'm the type of person who will ramble on about how much I love cooking and baking. This blog gave me an outlet to express my love of cooking, baking, paganism, and witcraft. And these rolls are very tasty, I make them to this day!

WITCHY TOMATO BASIL SOUP

Tasty, simple, and a crowd-pleaser. It's perfect for a beginner kitchen witch! It was also the second recipe I ever posted.

SWEET CREAM BUNS

It was a recipe given to me by one of my good friends at the time. Every time I make it, it gets devoured in less than 10 minutes. It was also my first recipe to get over 50 notes. I was shocked but ecstatic that so many people would even give it the time of day lol.

WITCHY THUMBPRINT COOKIES

These ones were just fun to make and delicious lol.

A WITCH’S COZY BUTTERNUT WINTER SOUP

A quick soup that feeds a lot of people during the fall season. Fall is my favorite season, so of course I'm very biased lol.

SAMHAIN PUMPKIN BREAD

I love pumpkin bread and apple cider... So why not combine the two? This one was definitely one of my favorites of all time. Moist pumpkin bread and chocolate chips have to be one of my favorite things on this planet. It also makes for the perfect gift for friends and family. Yummy!

ANGEL’S AWARD-WINNING LEMON POPPY SEED BREAD

I love dessert loaves of any kind, so naturally, this would be on the list lol.

MAPLE BUTTER COOKIES

Super simple comfort food! I love any time of cookie with brown sugar.

BRING ME POSITIVITY PECAN FRENCH TOAST BAKE

I love French toast, and I love positivity~

SAMHAIN SOUL CAKES RECIPE

These are really good! And traditional. If you celebrate Samhain, I recommend you make some soul cakes and have friends and family help decorate. I give the littles a bag of orange frosting and let them go crazy lol.

FEEL BETTER CHICKEN SOUP

One of my most recent is my witchy twist on chicken noodle soup!

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foggedupforsaken - rosemary and thyme
rosemary and thyme

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