like we really hate to hear this - but power is in every human relationship. unless you are the exact same as your partner in age, class, race, ethnicity, religion, language, nationality, citizenship status, gender, sexual orientation, physical and mental ability, salary, education, etc, you have to negotiate the problems material power differentials pose to love, to treating others well. the response to this seems to have been to make certain points of difference - like age - load-bearing, in a way that erases others - class would be my example: far bigger a power disparity than, say, a ten year gap in age between adults is class and inheritable wealth, but you almost never see that acknowledged in the same way. and even if you were at parity in all those areas (gay twincest sweep??) there is still the emotional power that someone’s love and desire for you gives you over them. you can’t get rid of it. you cannot find the perfect relationship where it doesn’t exist by steadily winnowing down your “ethical” options via widening designations of “problematic relationships.” you have to confront the power you have over other people and think how you will wield it most lightly. sorry!
You can be talking to someone and she'll be like, "Oh I made a silly mistake. Women don't deserve voting rights teehee." And you'll be like, "What." And she'll be like, "Oh I'm sorry! That must sound so bad out of context. No it's this Tiktok meme where, if you're a girl and you do something dumb, you say 'Women don't deserve voting rights teehee.'"
And you'll be like, "That sounds bad." And she'll be like, "No no. It's totally not that bad. It's just a meme. Men say it too. Like if a man does something silly he'll be like, 'I am like those women who do not deserve to vote.'" And you'll be like, "Does that make it better?" And she'll be like, "Well there was one guy who tried to make 'Men shouldn't vote' a popular meme. But it never caught on and also he got yelled at a lot."
And then you drop it there because like, you're harshing the vibe.
can we please please please learn to differentiate between things that are good but devalued because of their association with women (caring for children, being compassionate), things that are neutral but seen negatively because of their association with women (the colour pink, having long hair), and things that are bad but associated with women because of misogyny (being materialistic, being stupid) because otherwise we’re gonna keep getting takes like “being gender nonconforming is anti feminist” and “not studying for your classes is feminist”
I think one of the reasons drag kings aren’t as popular as drag queens, aside from the fact that straight women don’t like us, is that people are uncomfortable acknowledging masculinity as a performance. Like we as a society know that femininity is a performance, with its own costumes and rules. Masculinity is also a performance, and nothing makes that more clear than someone making an exaggeration of it
General PSA's for begginer alt crafting
- superglue heats up when in contact with fiber, your craft can start smoking or even catch on fire
- you can wash clothing painted with acrylic paint in the washing machine if you turn it inside out and use the lowest temperature
- don't put painted clothes in the dryer.
- you can wash clothes with metal bits in the washing machine but use the handwashing setting, dry the metal bits with a paper towel before hanging them to dry, and know that it WILL be loud
- synthetic dye is needed to dye synthetic fibers and requires a long time simmering in a boiling pot. This WILL stink up the house and you NEVER want to make food in that pot again
- faux leather is vinyl not leather. Get vinyl paint to paint on it
- don't use your teeth as tools, they don't regenerate. Reconstructing enamel costs a small fortune (ask me how I know.)
- when handsewing a lot through thick fabric get thin needles, it will require less force and be less taxing on your wrists. When machine sewing get a higher grade needle (~130 for jean)
- embroidery floss is overpriced and not as strong as it looks. For sewing on heavy stuff get denim thread, it will last forever
- don't feed a 60$ home sewing machine ten layers of denim before you learn how much a servicing fee costs, these things are dellicate
- spray paint is best applied from 30-40cm away, in swift movements. Putting too much or applying from too close will cause drips. You can sand them down and apply a new layer of paint AFTER they dry. Wipe the can nozzle after painting if it's messy, you don't want it to clog and become unusable
- water based markers on fabric will bleed, if not instantly then with time, alcohol markers will fade with time
- most fabric glues are machine washable up to a certain temperature. modgepodge is not waterproof, hitack is handwash only. Check the instructions
- the flatter the surface the easier hot glue will peel off. Faux leather stands no chance, fibers like yarn will hold it best, but is impossible to remove the glue from them in the future
- rivets are a thing that exists, only require a hammer to install and can be used as permanent fabric attachment
- studs, gromets and other metal junk at small fabric stores are laughably overspriced
- acetone (found in nail polish remover) will remove acrylic stains out of furniture, flooring and faux leather, if used in excess can damage the laquer. Can also be used to remove prints and glue off of plastic (do a small test before commiting, might melt the plastic it it's grade is low)
- residue from stickers (and k-tape) can be removed with oil
- acrylic stains cannot be removed out of clothing or carpet so protect your area before painting and don't wear clothes you care about
- if your thread keeps getting tangled or snagging while handsewing try waxing it
- you can lock in screw-in spikes with screw lock glue if you're scared of them falling off because they unscrew
- you can add washers to screw-in spikes if you're scared of them falling through flimsy fabric or too big of a hole
- if you're making anything out of soda cans have a metal file on hand, they are deceptively sharp and will hurt you and rip through fabric you're installing them in
- bleach can be found in mold killing spray (don't touch that shit with bare hands. chemical burn.)
- fabric paints are no different from slightly dilluted acrylic. You can make it yourself by adding a bit of fabric softener to acrylic or honestly even water
- if you are setting anything with an iron use parchment paper or a pressing cloth to pervent your stuff from sticking to your iron and ruining it
- if you want a safety pin somewhere permanently pinch it shut with pliers
- as much as you can, avoid putting glue on clothing, it makes it really hard to change your decisions later on and upcycle the project in the future
- kiss your friends
| Fran | Any pronouns | Main Account, I'm sure you don't wanna follow me here but if you do welcome! |
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