Was It Casual When Your Grandpa's Promise Reminds You Of Him??

FOUINEUSE.

LA TERREUR 01

script: @wisteriasymphony (https://archiveofourown.org/works/57307411)

art: @sillysiluriforme, @wormzandgutz

Kagehina coded

Hes so stupidly cute. Augh.

i headcanon that gabe and emilie would want to create a sentibaby that's a mix of their own DNA--which, why can't they do that? Dusuu's got to use some sort of genetic material

but what if they wanted to test the possible combinations of their DNA before deciding on their perfect designer baby? what if you're adrien agreste model 1.0? it's a little weird when you come into the world, fully grown, and the first thing you're asked to do is turn around slowly on the spot. there's some lady in a mask and a peacock dress, smiling as you stand there, awaiting judgement. her counterpart, standing behind her, seems uncertain. but you don't think much of that. there's no time to think much of that--not when all of a sudden you're sitting at a desk, with pages of equations written on them. problems you're meant to solve.

somehow, you know you've learned this math somewhere--even if you don't remember when or how. but they keep watching you--scrutinizing every line of your pencil. you finally dare to ask them about it--because it's weird, right? and god, if they could just leave you alone for ten minutes, you could probably finish this easily. but your examiners' lips turn down at your outburst. and you're snapped away before you even manage to look back down at the page

what if you're adrien agreste model 13.6, and everything you do elicits little whoops of joy from the peacock lady? in your several hours of existence, you've spoken five different languages and carried out a slew of endurance, agility, and cognitive tests. and most importantly--although you don't know why your examiners seem to praise you for this--you never talked back once

the peacock lady claps her hands together, and even the man behind her--who you've come to realize isn't nearly as easy to crack--can't seem to stop smiling. and you don't understand why something about that fills you with dread, but it does. it's a sort of all-consuming, impossible to shake dread. but you smile through it anyways

you don't know that once you disappear, a smaller version of you will come forth into the world. or that, years later, you'll feel that same sort of sick feeling in your gut

you're adrien agreste model 13.7, and you don't know there's anything weird about the way you came into this world. you don't realize your mother sometimes misses 6.8's dimples, or that your father often wishes they'd gone with 11.2--who would have had a real head for business

and you never do figure out why something always feels just a little bit wrong

🤭

Post-canon Labru where they actually get together pretty quickly except they don't

Laios and Kabru have been working together so closely for months in the castle and become best friends. About 6 months post-canon, they wind up going on a month-long survey expedition with Marcille, Falin, and some scientists. (The survey team is evaluating soil quality and attempting to identify the best sites for settlements.)

The group winds up sitting around the campfire most nights, drinking and singing and telling stories. One night, Laios and Kabru are the last ones out there and they get solidly drunk. Kabru kisses Laios. Laios kisses him back. Nothing else happens that night. But the next? They talk about it in Laios' tent and decide to give it a try. We're already best friends, right? Might as well give it a shot! So the rest of the trip, they spend the whole time flirting and giggling and making out at the fire and fucking in their tents. It's not a secret at all. Marcille is deeply annoyed. Falin is happy for Laios. The scientists are like, "wow, this gossip is gonna make me so popular at home." It's literally so great.

Except when they get back to Melini, it's harder than they expected. The survey was kind of a vacation for them. At home, there's paperwork and appearances and forming alliances and making sure their people are eating and security and it's just so much. The time they had to become best friends was not time that could really be filled with romance. If anything, romance adds to their pile of things they have to deal with: planning time together that isn't filled with work, managing the expectations of their citizens, heirs and weddings and what if some entity offers Laios a marriage that will benefit the kingdom, will he say no, how will this work how will it work how will it work

So they break it off. They love like each other so much and this could be something great, but they just can't do it right now. It's too much. They both put on brave faces but are obviously devastated. It hurts their friendship for months and months, but eventually they get close again.

For years, they stay friends. They both remember how awful that first break up was. Even when things slow down, they're both so cautious because who knows if this time things will break horribly and they won't be able to stay friends.

Kabru dates around a little. Laios seriously considers a few marriage alliances. It all falls through, but they do try to give other people a shot. They're in love with each other but they're still practical.

That's not to say they don't hook up occasionally. Maybe once a year they both get so overwhelmed with work that they have a little decompression fuck. Or they both get drunk at a ball and make out in a closet. It doesn't mean anything, so no big deal.

Then, twelve or so years down the line, they're both working in Laios' study. The kingdom is in such a good place. They've figured out succession, the economy is stable, their relationships with foreign powers are good, citizens are being taken care of. They're in the maintenance phase of everything and planning for a bright future. Maybe it's Laios, who has come into his own and feels a confidence that he never had at 26, who sits back and looks at Kabru and just says, "Kabru."

Kabru responds with a casual, "Your Highness?"

And Laios just throws it out there: "I love you. And I want to be with you, whatever that means for us."

Kabru is taken aback because to be fair to him it is quite random. He can't help but respond honestly, though. He loves Laios, too.

They'd probably spend a moment reveling in it. They've spent years in one state of being, thinking "maybe later, maybe soon" but never really believing the time would come.

Once they sit with it, the workday is over. They're giggling and making out and flirting in the study. It's just like that survey trip all those years ago, except this time they're used to the weight of the kingdom.

They probably move pretty fast. They've been enmeshed in each other's lives for more than a decade, so very little is actually changing on their end. They try to give it a few months before they lock in and get married/legally committed/whatever, if just for the sake of propriety and making sure the country is confident in their relationship. But it's obvious from that first day that this is it for both of them. Of course it is.

when you are mean to me this is who you're being mean to. btw.

Still the funniest panels “dude no way you would do all that work just to be friends with me that’s so stupid” and then he gets decked like, there is more going on but also it’s so funny to just think Kabru was annoyed that Laois was making fun of his friend making skills and just punches him

WHEN KACCHAN STARTS MUMBLING AND STUMBLING AND ANALZYING THE ENEMIES MOVES IN THE FINAL BATTLE BECAUSE IZUKU IS HIS SYMBOL OF VICTORY JUST AS MUCH AS KACCHAN IS IZUKUS SYMBOL OF VICTORY!!

WHEN IZUKU STARTS MOUTHING OFF THE ENEMY BECAUSE HES BEEN SEEING KACCHAN AS HIS HERO (HIS, HIS KACCHAN) AND HIS IDEAL SYMBOL OF HEROISM????

i was a bkdk stan fighting for my life in 2018 LOOK AT US NOW BITCHES

under your thumb

[part two of this. inspired by @habken 's incredible scammers to lovers au. hope you enjoy!]

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“I need him dead,” Izuku says, pacing intently. His bright red shoes squeak with every step he takes, and his eyes are wide with mania. “I genuinely need him dead.”

La Brava takes a long slurp of her soda fountain abomination - two pumps of every flavor of every soda, in one supersize cup - and gives him a knowing, pitying look. “Dynamight causing trouble again?”

He buries his face into his hands and makes a noise like a wounded animal. 

“Did he finally explode his laptop beyond repair or something?” La Brava asks. “Talk to me.”

“He asked me out on a date,” Izuku grits out, and La Brava’s eyes go wide. “A date. Lunch at a crepe shop? There’s no other way to take that.”

It wasn’t ever supposed to go this far. At first, loading Pro Hero Dynamight’s laptop with viruses was just a way to get back at him for being an asshole. But then he just- kept clicking them. And then he kept coming by, and revealing that he wasn’t so bad to talk to and then-

Izuku’s been played like a damn fiddle. All this time, he thought he was the one pulling the strings- only for Dynamight to sweep the rug out from under him in the most sudden possible way.

“Huh,” she says.  “Huh.”

And then, after a long pause:

“...Well. IT guys are in really high demand nowadays,” she says, stirring her drink with her straw. “With the economy, and all.” 

“This can’t happen. He’s a Pro-Hero,” Izuku stresses, grinding his teeth to stubs. “A Pro Hero who can’t go a week without getting scammed, but a Pro Hero nonetheless. This can’t happen. It can’t.”

“He’s a public servant, Deku, not a nun.” 

Izuku points at her. “Exactly! He’s a public servant. He has a duty to the people first and foremost, and I can’t get in the way of that.” Izuku says, placing a hand on his chest with feeling. A beat passes, and then, “Also, he is so fucking weird.” 

“And there it is.”

“Who gets scammed that much? It just makes no logical sense. You’d think after clicking an obvious pop-up the first time and getting your whole laptop overrun with malware you’d just- stop doing it at some point! But no! It’s like he’s a- a little kid with a big red button in front of him. He’s ridiculous. And-and an asshole, too!”

La Brava sighs, setting down her comically large drink. “Okay, Deku-kun-”

“Yeah! He’s a huge jerk. He’s mean to everyone and he acts like- like he’s doing me a favor by making me fix his laptop all the time! You know what, he deserves all that malware, especially if he’s so obsessed with clicking pop-ups!”

“Deku-kun.”

“He’s insane. A total freak show!”

“Deku-kun.”

“A-A self-absorbed, arrogant-”

“So you don’t want to go on a date with him?” La Brava interrupts, cutting him off. 

Izuku pauses, ceasing his pacing. 

He thinks about Dynamight’s evil looking smiles and fiery red eyes and sharp features; his insane stances and posture and the way his voice sounds like gravel; the way he’s always yelling and acting like a stereotypical macho-man Pro in his office, and yet whenever he steps into Izuku’s he’s always looking away and speaking quieter and holding out his virus-infected laptop like it’s the bento lunch Kiyoko-chan (from the new slice-of-life romance anime Izuku’s been binge-watching recently) made for her love interest in last week’s episode. That one time Izuku had said he was thirsty in Dynamight’s presence and found a water bottle on his desk the next day (and the day after that, and the day after that, and the day after that-). It's the way that no matter what happens- whether it’s a villain attack or a patrol or rescuing a kitten from a tree, Dynamite comes out on top. 

(Quite literally, in the case of the kitten. The fire department had to come down to Tatooin Station and rescue Pro-Hero Dynamight and a three-pound kitten from a 40-foot tall oak.)

God, there’s so much wrong with him, Izuku thinks. I need to hold his hand or I’ll die.

Izuku’s cheeks heat up and he scratches the back of his neck, very pointedly not looking at La Brava. “...Well. I never said that.”

“Oh my God,” La Brava says. “Oh my God.” 

“Sue me, okay!” Izuku throws up his hands. “Apparently I like deranged goblin men who are a little pathetic and rough around the edges and incapable of not getting scammed! Is that so wrong!”

La Brava stares. And stares. And then she sighs. 

“It- You know what, this is above my paygrade,” she says, taking another long, obnoxious sip of her drink. “I’m not here to critique your frankly abysmal taste in men. So you do want to go on this date?”

He thinks about it more, and starts getting light-headed at the thought of- of Dynamight, buying him a crepe. Sharing a crepe with him. At the crepe shop. Tomorrow, when they’re both free. Maybe they’d even- hold hands, and- ride the ferris wheel in the amusement park across the street- together-

“Hnnnrrrgh,” says Izuku. 

“Well, good luck,” says La Brava, tossing her empty cup. It soars through the air in a perfect arch and lands into the trash with little fanfare. She pumps her fists, and Izuku absentmindedly claps a little. 

 It’s pretty simple removing the malware- he was the one who put it there, after all. Soon enough, Dynamight’s laptop is good as new. And then, after another couple of moments of hesitation, he sneaks in another pop-up. A poor recolor of Naruto, this time, in suggestive kitsune-themed lingerie. 

“You’re literally going on a date with him,” La Brava says, suddenly popping up behind him. ‘You don’t have to keep doing this.”

“Consider it, uh,” Izuku racks his brain, “leverage! Yeah. If he’s. If he’s an asshole.”

She throws her hands up in exasperation and turns back to setting up a pastel pink Project Sekai theme for Phantom Thief's computer (upon his request). 

He’s not being weird, Izuku reassures himself. He’s not. Dynamight doesn’t have to click the pop-up. He’s not, like, obligated, or anything. But if he does, like he has been doing, well. That’s one way to secure a second date. 

Well. Not that he’s hoping for a second date with Dynamight, or anything. He’s not anxiously counting down the seconds or whatever. That’d be insane. Right? Right. Totally insane. And Izuku is not insane, so therefore he is not incredibly and unhealthily invested in this-

“Stop muttering about this or I swear to God-”

-

So now he’s here. Standing in front of the crepe shop in his nicest clothes (a white ‘Dress Shirt’ shirt, a half-buttoned striped orange button up, and brown corduroy pants with a black belt), blasting music to distract himself from the fact that he may have been stood up. 

Okay, fine, that’s a bit of an exaggeration. He probably hasn’t been stood up. Sure, it’s been three minutes and fifty four seconds since their agreed upon time, and there’s still no sign of Dynamight anywhere, but that probably doesn’t mean anything. He’s probably just running late. 

He has to be running late. What is he going to do if he actually is being stood up right now? 

Kill him? 

Kill Pro Hero Dynamight?

No, Izuku realizes, deflating a little. No, he’d never be able to go through with it. Maybe more malware? Maybe every piece of malware at once?

For once, the Go Get Your Man, Kiyoko-chan! theme song isn’t taking his mind off things- a clear sign of his deteriorating mental state. There’s a part right before the final chorus in which they let a cat just meow into the mic for a solid thirty seconds and it always reminds Izuku that good exists in the world- except for today, apparently. 

After a few moments of hesitation, he goes to his messages. They have each other’s numbers, strictly for business, but occasionally Dynamight will text him hey in the middle of the night and then take three hours to respond to Izuku. 

Where are you?, he types up. But before he can press send, his phone beeps.

Izuku frowns.

“A villain attack nearby?” His hair blows slightly in a sudden breeze. “Huh. I hope it’s not too close.”

He has about two seconds of peace between uttering this final, ironic sentence, and then turning his head-

-because one minute he’s pausing the theme song on his phone, and the next he’s face to face with a giant, menacing pincer that's seconds away from peeling off his entire face.

His life really is just one prolonged punchline, huh.

So there he stands, tears in his eyes, fear in his heart, and the thirty second meowing solo ringing in his ears; dressed his nicest 'Dress Shirt' shirt, holding an expensive laptop that he can never again infect with malware because he’s been stood up and he’s going to die. Brava was right, Izuku thinks belatedly. Maybe I should re-evaluate my taste in men.

And then everything explodes.

part one/part two