Truce //

Can't stop thinking about if and when I'd die

For now I see that ‘if' and ‘when' are truly different cries

For ‘if' is purely panic, and ‘when' is solemn sorrow

And one invades today, while the other spies tomorrow.

Take me away from all that's making sane. I want new feelings, to act like Indiana Jones and search for all that I haven't discovered yet.

I’m always so afraid to leave behind what once was important to me, even if sometimes it’s necessary so I can grow.

I’m always so afraid to hurt those that made me who I am, even though I’ve done it countless times.

Fear reaches me in all I do. Fear of not being enough, of being left out, of making mistakes.

I live in fear, and there I remain, drowning, waiting for the day I won’t need to feel scared.

I won’t need to feel anything at all.

Let’s forget about it (neon lights- dope lemon)

Water Lilies, Claude Monet

https://www.wikiart.org/en/claude-monet/water-lilies-1899-1

I relate to Mamma Mia because I too fell in love with Lily James 3 seconds after seeing her and would absolutely run away to a Greek paradise to marry her even 20 years later

🌅💖

Don’t repost (reblog ok). Don’t pin to pinterest, don’t post to wattpad/twitter/instagram/facebook or anywhere else.

Those smooth, spit-cleaned cheeks gave no indication of the dreams crowding her skull. Should she make it to adulthood, the girl would arrive with two hundred and six bones. Two and a half million sweat glands. Ninety-six thousand kilometers of blood vessels. Forty-six chromosomes. Seven meters of small intestines. Six hundred and six discrete muscles. One hundred billion cerebral neurons. Two kidneys. A liver. A heart. A hundred trillion cells that died and were replaced, again and again. But no matter how many ways she dismembered and quantified the body lying beside her, she couldn’t say how many years the girl would wait before she married, if at all, or how many children she would have, if any; and between the creation of this body and its end lay the mystery the girl would spend her life solving.

-Anthony Marra

De vez em quando, a solidão acerta em cheio o peito, me tira o ar, e forma em mim um nó tão difícil que perdura por dias no meu intestino e essência. De vez em quando, nessas horas, eu me pego pensando como seria mais fácil se eu pudesse simplesmente me apaixonar por você. Mas de nada adianta pensar assim, a doce ilusão que criei de você não serviria para desatar o nó e me deixar leve.