Frazzledfawn - Frazzledfawn

They’re making Joel Miller so fucking gray in the second season of this show…my coochie is not behaving y’all. IM GETTING OVERWHELMED! I need to be snowed in with that man in a cabin a bit ways off from Jackson on patrol and fucked STEWPID for a couple of days until the storm passes. NEED DAT OLD MAN SO FUCKING BAD YOU GUYS DON’T FUCKING GET IT!!

Do y’all watch a movie see someone from your dr and like

I want retired!john with a bad knee and a pudgy belly who spends his time helping at risk youth because I love to imagine that john was a troublemaker in his youth who just needed a strong role model in his life

being his pretty wife who brings baked goods for their group sessions, you remember every face who introduces themselves to you. make all the kids feel seen every time you greet them at the youth center, asking how the test they were talking about last week went

even if they give john a hard time, they can’t bring themselves to be mean to their youth counsellor’s wife because she’s just so sweet

being the “safe” house in the neighbourhood, door always open for the teens who’d rather not go home. who don’t have parents they can ask for advice or a warm meal waiting for them tonight

is this too niche and boring? or is there something here?

kidnapper!ghost will tie your hands behind your back and forcefully make you sit on his face because he wants to apologize for making you cry but doesn't trust you not to scratch his eyes out or reach for the lamp and hit him over the head with it.

one day, you’ll celebrate your birthdays over there, and your wishes may turn softer, more resigned—no longer the desperate wishes you make now. these weeks of struggle will be no more than a fleeting thought, something you’ll brush off with a small giggle, then bury back in the deepest, dustiest shelves of your mind. you’ll look back at the nights you spent wondering if this was it, and you’ll laugh, and laugh, and laugh—a hollow but somehow full sound, at how little you knew then.

to me it’s an inherent truth that ghost is socially “ugly”

scars that are uneven and pucker skin because he had hastily sewn lacerations together. burn scars on his back and hands, with skin that wrinkles like haphazard gills across his abdomen. blonde hair gene that makes his eyelashes and eyebrows near invisible. a crooked, broken nose that hardly works unless he brings whatever smells right to his nostrils.

and it wasn’t a sob story. he’s wasn’t insecure because to him it really isn’t all that important. at the end of the day the body he’s been put in sleeps, eats, and kills. fucks good, if it feels like it. that’s all he’s ever needed.

it’s not until you come into the picture, domestically enough, that he does start to care.

starts small, like checking if there was anything in his teeth, or smoothing out that one hair that likes to plant itself over his forehead.

the trivial, small details that furrow in between his ironed apathy.

then, insecurity blooms. found where one scar begins and the next ends. he stops lingering at the mirror, and wears thicker clothes because “london’s fuckin’ freezin”. keeps his eyes trained ahead when you shop downtown, so he doesn’t catch a glimpse of himself next to you in the store windows.

doesn’t realize how bad it had gotten until you, who had picked up on his lack of subtly and libido, asked him to take a bath.

with you.

and suddenly he’s rendered a quiet, awkward bastard in your flat bathroom, that is much too small for him.

you run the water to a boil and put relaxing salts in while he strips. he sits down with his mouth in a firm line because what the fuck is he supposed to say when his bird massages shampoo into his hair and hums a song that isn’t his favorite but becomes one when she kisses his cheek while at the chorus.

watches with wavering interest as bubbles form from the soap and the water begins to cool. hasn’t said a word since you started the strange routine that makes him feel raw and vulnerable in a way that he characterizes as childish.

“you’re so handsome, si.”

you’re swiping lotion onto his face. he hadn’t even realized you’d been staring.

“what?”

you laugh and swipe a thumb under his crooked nose, over the cleft lip. fingers trace the scar that runs up his cheek.

you hold his ugly in your hands. and you find him…handsome. he’s seen a liar and you can’t be one for the life of you. it disturbs him, that whatever comes from you lips isn’t just a compliment, but an observation.

what a foreign thing, to be given someone’s truth so easily.

the room gets quiet aside from the foam whispers and sputter of water when his legs shift.

“I said,” you kiss him gently, “I think you’re handsome.”

the apathy to his appearance never returns. however, the harshness is retired for however long you continue to hold him.

he will be whatever you want him to, and if that means he’s handsome, then a good place to start is believing you when you tell him so.

fawn ✧ .・eighteen, leo ☉ aquarius ☾ libra ↑, she/her, oceania based, addicted to making niche spotify playlists, peppermint tea enthusiast, comfy and warm 24/7, would live in a cinema if deemed socially acceptable, i <3 t.s.

who im planning on writing for in the future: ✧ .・

aaron hotchner (criminal minds), spencer reid (criminal minds), simon riley (call of duty), stephen strange (marvel) tom riddle (the hp universe) + john wick (john wick hehe), joel miller (tlou), james 007 bond (james bond) + potentially more, and open to requests <3

my rules

my masterlist

anon emojis (if people would like that <3)

all likes, comments and reblogs highly appreciated, you would make my day <33

yeah some people don’t believe in reality shifting but some people also don’t believe women can orgasm so I stopped trusting other peoples opinions a long time ago

kidnapper!ghost will tie your hands behind your back and forcefully make you sit on his face because he wants to apologize for making you cry but doesn't trust you not to scratch his eyes out or reach for the lamp and hit him over the head with it.

18+ !! <3 coming to theatres soon...

aaron hotchner ✧ .・doting, international passport, black coffee, dinner reservations, knowing glances, family home, early riser, i love you notes, late night calls, upside down smiles, pressed ties, sleeves rolled up to his elbows, classic musicals, awful flirting.

fucked my way to the top, lana del rey

still into you, paramore

knockin' on heavens door, bob dylan

something, the beatles

false god, taylor swift

new york, new york, frank sinatra