Not To Mention The Fact That Israel Sniped Another Journalist, And Gunned Down Their OWN HOSTAGES Who

ok dumb idea but bare with me okay?

Harry Potter who has a secret tiktok social media account and has a pretty decent following because he gives off major steve irwin vibes.

Maybe during one of the many times he is ostracized by the school, he finds solace in going on runs in the forbidden forest and he got a phone because... well why not? who is gonna stop him? He found a way to make it work on campus so what does it matter?

Anyways, he makes tik toks about the freaky things he sees in the woods but approaches them with such gentleness and sweetheart vibes no one knows if he is using a filter or greenscreen or what.

He finds some nifflers in the forest and he goes into check on them. Especially frank who is the oldest and likes to follow him around for a little while. SURE he sees unicorns and stuff but "Look at this regular bird. Just hanging out. Look how brave he is. Hello!"

and then he makes tik toks about how awful his professor is and uses popular voice overs and muggles LOVE HIM. I mean LOVE LOVE HIM.

Wizarsd have no clue because even the best intentioned wizard can't really figure out muggle tech and muggleborns are too busy trying to fit in. The few that DO know him keep their mouths shut because they are BIG fans.

Anyway. Super famous tiktoker Harry Potter and his millions of followers and he has a whole platform all to himself where he can lowkey warn people about death eaters so when they show up eventually people run or attack them on sight.

Don’t you like it when Harry just…

Cursed idea: The Little Mermaid AU with Lily Luna as Ariel and Voldemort using her to get not only the King's trident, but Harry as well.

Staring

Probably can’t fix this one. 🐍

WIP Wednesday

Thank you @cindle-writes for the tag! 💕

Tagging (no pressure!): @st-lady @hazelnut1 @solavonn @leafiloaf @cringe-queasy @racfoam @mishqua @youknowmevj

So this is the last one of Mermay, still in its ugly phase (Also the way merpeople look is valid, I just don't like their design jsdjlakd)

There's this scene in the movie where, after Harry saves Ron and Gabrielle and is attacked by squid creatures, the gillyweed stops working. He begins to sink and he seems to be losing consciousness. Until he suddenly recovers and casts a spell to get out of the water.

In this mermaid AU, Tom saw Harry struggling and he was the one who made him recover (maybe with a kiss?)

Idk the specifics. Maybe Merman!Tom was the result of a horcrux in the Black Lake gone wrong? Maybe he wants to learn magic so badly that he wants to become a human, and he's an outcast among the merpeople because of that. Maybe he saw Harry threatening the merpeople with his wand, using his magic against the other lake creatures and Tom hated him because he wanted to do that and life was so unfair.

And yet, he saved him because he was also captivated.

hey hey hey what if when voldemort took harry's blood for the resurrection ritual, they actually became family because they now share blood????

like, as far as magic's concerned, they're kin now. blood-bound. and with that come a lot of complications (and pleasures?). perhaps voldemort is now an honorary potter-slash-peverell and can use the invisibility cloak.

and/or perhaps harry is now an honorary gaunt and is, like, voldemort's official heir--which comes with a whole bunch of advantages for harry, like voldemort not being able to hurt him without serious magical consequences, because that would be unnatural and tantamount to hurting his own child, and magic's like:

"nope. can't do that. or you can, but golly gosh it'll hurt a lot! and will also magically incapacitate you since your magic is bound to your heir's, so you'll feel every bit of the damage you do. not to mention that you were already bound by a horcrux bond, so now you're doubly bound, which basically means you're fucked. congratulations, lord voldemort! 😇"

what if harry accidentally finds out that he has access to voldemort's sekrit gringotts vault under the gaunt name?? or gets a letter from gringotts informing him of it? what if he visits gringotts before voldemort realises what's up and literally drains all of voldemort's finances to fund his war?

or what if, what if, the death eaters, who swore lifelong fealty to voldemort, now have to follow harry's orders too, since harry is voldemort's heir and the magical vow of fealty transfers to him, too? what if harry inherits control of the dark mark?

just picture harry summoning bellatrix lestrange with her dark mark and, like, making her buy muggle children ice creams or something. and she can't even say no??? imagine her simmering and then boiling in rage as she treats innocent muggle kids and gets hugged like some sort of beloved neighbourhood grandma while she fucking hates having all those filthy little hands on her.

lmfaoooooo harry would totally pop off and voldemort wouldn't be able to do a damn thing about it. lucius malfoy kneeling before harry and freeing all his house elves after buying each of them a cute little manor. severus snape (bc even though he's a spy, he's still bound by the mark) actually having to be fair in potions and having to be nice and genuinely helpful to neville. fenrir greyback (let's imagine he has the mark, too) having to quit his perverse kid-hunting and eat nothing but veggies for every meal.

meanwhile, despite all of these enraging, humiliating scenarios that make voldemort want to explode harry into itty-bitty pieces, voldemort also feels the absolutely fucking bizarre urge to protect harry bc harry is his family now and voldemort's never had family before. and that, of course, escalates to insane amounts of possessive protectiveness when he discovers that harry's his horcrux, too.

also, while trying to figure out how to undo this stupid fucking kin-bond, voldemort discovers that the only alternative is to convert it into a marriage bond, which would simulate the kin-bond closely enough to satisfy magic, but still wouldn't solve the problem of harry being able to command voldemort's servants as his spouse (and thus his co-lord).

just imagine voldemort slowly losing what remains of his mind as he realises there's no way out of having his life revolve around potter... and not in the vengeful way it's been until now, either!

voldemort has to resign himself to teaching harry how to be a proper heir and/or spouse and how to dance/eat/talk as per pureblood culture, but harry's just over here literally thumbing his nose at tradition, deliberately botching up which forks to eat with, stepping on voldemort's toes at every waltz, and relishing being able to make voldemort's death eaters grit their teeth in disgust while still having to bow and scrape to him.

and then dumbledore finds out about this nonsense and simply passes away and/or has an existential crisis and/or tries to figure out how to twist this to his advantage so that voldemort is finally contained and controlled, but little does he know that sweet li'l bby harry doesn't need any help with that.

oh, harry controls voldemort, all right. yeah, being voldemort's heir/kin means he has to listen to his "sire" to a degree, but that's only the surface stuff--lessons, rituals, socialising, etc.--but his spirit is entirely his own and, increasingly, so is voldemort's heart.

this would be such fucking comedy gold lolololol. gotta write it one day

As you should

Tom: If you like me, raise your hand.

Harry: And if we don’t like you?

Tom: Raise your standards.