Secondo

Banchetto: Insalata

Papa Emeritus III x Reader

AO3 | Contorno | Masterpost

A caprese salad consists of so few ingredients but as long as they are fresh and ripe they bring the perfect balance. For variety you pick an assortment of tomatoes, blood red heirlooms, green beefsteak and orange roma. The visual appeal of the assorted colours, shapes and texture more than make up for the non traditional choices. Freshly made mozzarella as well, all evenly sliced and then already the preparation is almost complete.

• • • • • • • • • ✦ • • • • • • • • • •

You are reading. Well, you are trying to read but unfortunately the man sitting across from you is proving far too much of a distraction. It was mid morning, breakfast long since eaten and cleared away. You had joined him as you did so often now and it was barely creeping towards time to begin thinking about lunch. Copia had returned your notes and you were still in the process of working through them, adding sticky notes with your amendments into the recipes to help you when time came to make them. That’s what you should be doing at least.

Instead every few seconds you find your gaze pulled back to him. He is also reading, the glasses he only just admitted to needing perched on the end of his nose. They slip further down every time he scrunches his face at whatever it is he is reading and you have lost count of how many times he has paused to push them up carelessly. Every now and then he notices the smudges left by his fingers and removes them completely to wipe them on his handkerchief as he shoots you a smile. He had let his hair air dry this morning so it falls in soft waves over his forehead. The muted sunlight catches in his silver roots every time he pushes his hair out of his eyes. You think to tell him how good he looks at this moment but you don’t want to break the comfortable silence. 

It’s sickeningly domestic but you can honestly say you have never been happier. The shift was subtle at first as you had spent a great deal of time in his rooms anyway but in a matter of days that time grew longer and longer until you rarely left on more than an errand from morning to evening. He would ask you to sit with him as he worked, join him for meals, linger in the kitchen as you prepared and even once attempting to help you clean the dishes. That is until he ended up dropping a plate in his inattention, the resounding crash making your heart skip a beat in a much less pleasant way then it usually did around him. You couldn’t even begin to be annoyed with him though, his apologetic puppy eyes forcing you to let him off with only a banishment to the kitchen table and a kiss to the tip of his nose.

Affection was easier now, not always so underlined with that awkward tension you had almost become used to. He liked to touch you. To lace your fingers together across the table when you ate, rest his hand on your waist when you stood together, play with a lock of your hair as you spoke, press a chaste kiss to hand or your cheek in passing. You had been hesitant at first to return his affection so boldly but the way he would glow when you reached for him first, his wide smile emphasising your favourite creases at the corners of his eyes, was enough to override your self consciousness.

There was still tension there, hot little frissons if you look into his eyes a bit too long or his body rests a little too close. Part of you wants to chase it but you no longer felt the need to rush. Although unspoken it seems you both chose to relish in this period of getting to know each other better, talking about your likes, dislikes, views and opinions or just existing in each other's company. It is comfortable in a way you never imagined you could be with him but you are more sure now than ever that ‘Papa Emeritus III’ who had led the Ghost project and the church was only a very superficial part of who he was.

There’s a childlike glee in him every time he tells you stories of his life peppered with ridiculous puns and dorky jokes that feels so far removed from the persona you had thought you had known previously. And yet you can see how he thrived as a performer and took to that role so naturally. He puts his whole self into recreating the tale he is telling with animated hands, exaggerated expressions and often silly voices whether he is talking about his misspent youth, rising through the clergy ranks or his touring adventures. You would start to feel very uninteresting in comparison until he would start to tease stories from you. Your worst cooking disasters that have him crying with laughter and disbelief that you could ever make a potato explode. But when he asks you of your family and your childhood you see a sad wistfulness in his expression that makes your heart hurt and you hope that one day he might open up about some of the harder parts of his life as well.

The tolling of the 11 o’clock bell brings an end to your romantic reverie. It is time to return to reality and begin thinking about lunch. You uncurl yourself from the armchair, your movements capturing his attention. He beckons you towards him with a curled finger as he places his book down on the settee beside him. You should go straight to the kitchen but as he has distracted you all morning anyway what is the harm in a few more minutes. You are sure your eagerness is obvious as before you know it you are sitting in his lap with his arms around you. 

‘Where are you off to cara mia,’ he says once you are settled. You slide his glasses up and into his hair, pulling the long fringe out of his face and you can’t resist letting your fingers run through the length until you can play with the strands at the nape of his neck. ‘I have been enjoying you watching me so attentively.’

‘And I was enjoying the view,’ you tease. His deep chuckle rumbles through his chest pleasantly where you are pressed against him. He leans up for a kiss, unable to keep the pleased smile from his face. Your lips ghost over his, barely indulging him but leaning down to continue talking in his ear. ‘I am about to start working on your lunch.’

‘How about an amuse bouche first mia cuocoina?’ He is irresistible when he is like this so you indulge him. You press kisses along a teasing path, his temple, his sharp cheekbone and the tip of his nose before finally reaching his lips. He closes the remaining distance between you impatiently and just as you are about to deepen the kiss a loud knocking rings out through the room. He drops his head against the back of the settee with a huff of annoyance and you have to forcibly remove his hands from your hips for you to be able to get up. You open the door to find a ghoul waiting for you on the other side holding a basket and a note.

‘From Papa Primo, for you Sister.’ They hand it to you before abruptly turning to leave and you see Terzo’s head shoot up in interest as you close the door and turn around.

‘What is he writing to you about?’ He glares over the back of the chair, watching you put the basket down on his desk. 

‘Let me open it and I will tell you,’ you retorted. The basket is heavy and you have no doubt that this is yet another offering from Primo’s greenhouses. He hauls himself up from the settee with an exaggerated groan as you unfold the thick paper and read. 

Sorella it is about time my brother gets out of his rooms and I suspect you will have more success convincing him then I. If I could prevail on you to make us a light lunch and bring it along with him to the rose garden I would be very appreciative. Secondo and Copia will also be joining us as well as yourself if you would do us the honour. 

I will expect you both at noon. 

Primo

Terzo. It will be good to see you. Please do not give the sorella any trouble and do as you are bid. 

Handing the note to him you dig into the basket. Underneath the fragrant bunches of fresh herbs you find it’s filled to the brim with ripe tomatoes in a variety of sizes and colours, probably hand picked from the vine that very morning. 

‘Why do you get a longer note than me?’ He grumbles, squinting at his brother's cursive scrawl, clearly forgetting to drop his glasses back down onto his nose. Circling around him you knock them gently out of his hair so he can at least see even if they land a little crookedly. 

‘Lunch is going to be alfresco today,’ you call over your shoulder as you head into the kitchen to get started, not giving him any chance to argue. With less than an hour to prepare this is not going to be your most elaborate creation but you have some freshly made mozzarella and along with Primo’s offering you have an idea that should be perfect. 

• • • • • • • • • ✦ • • • • • • • • • •

The dressing for this salad could be as simple as a drizzle of balsamic vinegar but you do prefer to add a little more flavour. To an old jam jar you add olive oil, honey, freshly pressed garlic and of course the main ingredient, balsamic vinegar. Why a jam jar you may ask? Well the trick with a vinaigrette is understanding that the separate ingredients don’t really want to mix together. You can stir it, whisk it, even blend it but unless you are serving it straight away the mixture will begin to separate. You prefer to give it a good shake to mix everything and your trusty jam jar allows you to do that right before the dish is served.  

• • • • • • • • • ✦ • • • • • • • • • •

Prepping a quick salad with what Primo had sent you takes around half an hour but you are done with time still to spare. Terzo had disappeared to his bedroom after grumbling to himself about his ‘fratello esigente’ and was yet to return so you took the time to grab some leftovers to make this lunch a little more substantial. There was half a loaf of bread that you sliced up, some stuffed peppers and olives, cuts of ham and cheese and even some pepper taralli that had become a constant request since you had first made them all those weeks ago. 

With everything that would fit packed away in the little basket you go to find Terzo who had yet to reappear. Even with the amount of time you were in each other's company you still hadn’t spent more than a few minutes in his bedroom. You understood, you supposed. It was his one sanctuary away from everything but you hoped one day soon he might invite you even there. The door is open when you round the corner and you see him standing before his mirror, a pile of shirts sitting on the bed next to him. 

‘I’m ready to go Terzo,’ you say after knocking on the door frame. He turns to you with a frown on his face but your attention is drawn to his open shirt. His dark chest hair and olive skin contrast beautifully with the stark white of the shirt he is trying on. He starts to button it from his mid chest leaving an enticing glimpse but you can see his frustration build as he gets further and further down. His once flat stomach now protrudes slightly from his waistband, not enough to have the buttons pull but the shape of his body is visible. He looks incredible.

‘I can not go out like this cara mia,’ he says, turning back to his reflection to scrutinise his outfit. 

‘Why not?’ you ask. You cross the room coming to a stop behind him so you are looking at the same thing he is in the mirror. 

‘Look at me,’ he gestures up and down the length of his body before settling his hands where he seems to be most self conscious. You can’t have him thinking he looks anything less than irresistible for even a moment.You wrap your hands around his waist sliding them under his own,where he is holding his belly. You caress the soft swell back and forth while you try and catch his gaze in the reflection. 

‘I am and I see a happy healthy man who has enjoyed delicious food made for him by someone who lo .. cares about him very much.’ His eyes flash in surprise before he looks over himself again from your perspective, a smug smile growing on his lips. You hope he is just about to accept your compliment and didn’t catch your little slip but you end that train of thought there. 

‘Oh is that so?’ His spark has returned, your compliments feeding his usual confidence in his attractiveness. But there is something else in his expression like he has just figured something out. ‘You like me like this, eh?’

‘I like you. Full stop.’ He preens but you sense that he wants to push you further. Hopefully the time limit you are on will stall him for now. You aren’t sure that you are quite ready to admit how much you have enjoyed feeding him up.  

‘Mmm ok,’ he responds thoughtfully, turning in your arms and pulling you flush against his soft body. He kisses you soundly, chasing your lips every time you try to pull back. Before long though his playful mood shifts as he steps back. He takes your hands in his but otherwise maintains some space between you. ‘There is something we need to talk about though before we go.’

‘What is it?’ There is a hint of worry in his voice but you try not to let yourself speculate. You needed to just listen to what he had to say. 

‘Please don’t misunderstand me when I say this.’ He pauses for but a moment to press a kiss to your knuckles trying to reassure you of his sincerity. ‘Until very recently I have never truly felt my life was my own. I had a set path that I was to walk down and very big shoes to fill as leader and well, you have seen my brothers.’ He is torn between a fondness and frustration that you can understand. ‘No matter what I do I am their fratellino.’ He locks his eyes on yours willing you to understand. ‘This, I mean what we have, I don’t want their input not yet.’ 

‘I understand Terzo.’ It is a relief to know this was all he was concerned about. You had seen for yourself how they had treated him during the intervention you had been witness to. Even though you wholeheartedly agreed with them at that time. You can understand why he would want to keep what you have private, especially so early in whatever it was that was happening. Not to mention you had your own reasons for not wanting them to know.

‘You do?’ You can’t help but smile at the relief on his face. 

‘Of course. I think you are right.’ You had long since stopped worrying about the distinction between your work for him and your relationship but you are well aware of how it might look to others. How unprofessional you were being. ‘Your brothers asked me to do a job and they might not be happy to know that I have taken on additional duties.’ You say with a wink, trying to lighten his mood further. You’re rewarded with his deep rumbling laugh as he pulls you close again. 

‘Si, si. We should review these additional duties. I think I have some additions.’ He leers at you and you can feel your cheeks heat up in response.

‘Stop that we will be late.’ You swat at his chest and get to hear him laugh yet again but it really is time to get going. ‘And I am going to need your help carrying all this food.’

• • • • • • • • • ✦ • • • • • • • • • •

Now for your favourite part, making it all look pretty. You lay out your slices of mozzarella first, randomly placing them across the large tray you are using for this dish. The slices of beefsteak and heirloom tomatoes next trying to keep the colours balanced. You use the bright orange roma tomatoes to fill in the remaining gaps and then all that is left is fresh basil leaves tucked between the slices. 

• • • • • • • • • ✦ • • • • • • • • • •

‘Sorella you spoil us!’ Primo says helping you unpack the basket onto the table that had been set up. You had never paid much mind to this shady corner of the rose garden but it does seem like the perfect place for an alfresco lunch. The wrought iron dining set is well kept with only specs of rust appearing on some of the joints between the ornate decorations. Five chairs are positioned around half of the oval table giving everyone a view of the garden. The table had already been set with a plain table cloth thrown over, shining silver cutlery, pretty floral plates and a bottle of red wine, already been decanted, a lace cap sitting over the opening to discourage any tempted bugs. 

‘Oh it was nothing at all Papa. Most of this I had already prepared and the salad was simple enough.’ He smiles at you warmly, his light paints emphasising the creases of his expression. He had taken the centre seat and he gestures you into the seat to his right, patting your shoulder gently. You aren’t entirely sure why you have been invited to this family gathering but it would be rude to question his invitation. 

Secondo is sitting to his left already sipping on a glass of wine but he offers you a smile, a subtle lift of the corner of his mouth before his attention is drawn to Terzo. You glance to your right where he is sitting looking uncomfortable, even hidden behind his dark glasses. He seems to be staring into the nearest bush trying to ignore the presence of his brothers. As you take a seat you try to subtly rest your hand on his knee and give him a gentle squeeze, about the only reassurance you can, given your agreement not to give away the nature of your relationship to his family quite yet. He glances at you offering you a weak smile but he rests his hand over yours before clearing his throat.  

‘Is Copia too busy to join us now?’ He asks, sounding oddly formal but finally looking in Primo’s direction. 

‘He said he would be here,’ he replies calmly as he pours everyone a glass of wine, topping up Secondo’s last. After accepting his Terzo slumps back into his seat nursing his glass. Primo tuts at him. ‘Vieni adesso, Renzo, non vorrai essere scontroso con il nostro ospite, vero?’ He sits up abruptly lifting his glasses so he can glare at Primo. 

‘Quindi è per questo che l'hai invitata? Quindi mi comporterei bene?’ Secondo tries to conceal a laugh at his Italian outburst which only earns him a share of Terzo’s glare. 

‘I have my reasons fratelino, but let’s not argue today.’ He looks at him sternly. ‘Por favore.’

‘Nessun tipo di compagnia potrebbe farlo comportare da adulto,’ Secondo mutters but whatever he says seems to upset both Primo and Terzo. ‘Ey!’ He shouts, rubbing the back of his head where Primo had just administered a quick slap. 

‘None more of that! From either of you, capisce?’ He points at the two brothers waiting for them both to nod in agreement before sitting back down. The four of you sit in silence just waiting for Copia’s arrival but just when it begins to get unbearable you hear a commotion heading towards you.  

‘Sorry I am late,’ Copia calls out breathlessly as he rushes around the corner in a blur of red. ‘Meeting with Sister Imperator ran over,’ he pants collapsing into the chair next to Secondo. He had forgone his cassock today but was still buttoned up in one of his formal suits in spite of the seasonal weather. Clearly one of the perks of being a retired Papa was being able to dress more casually. You are not sure if you had ever seen them dressed this casually during any of their reigns. 

‘Everything has gotten so behind with the Ghost project since, well…’ He trails off glancing at Terzo. He clears his throat, deciding not to continue with that line of conversation. ‘Terzo, Papa, you are looking well.’ 

‘Thank you Cardinal, you look like you could do with a good night's sleep.’ He smiles but it is sharp, Copia’s misstep digging at his still sore pride. 

‘Well, shall I tell you all what is on the menu?’ You interrupt not wanting the awkwardness to linger any longer. 

‘Yes please do, Sorella,’ Primo says, relieved at your quick thinking.

‘What you sent over was absolutely perfect for a caprese salad because just yesterday I had made some fresh mozzarella so that is the main attraction of today’s lunch but I also brought some leftovers we had to make sure no one left hungry.’ You may be waffling slightly but they all listen politely as you point out all the separate dishes. 

‘Yes I see my fratello has not been going hungry of late.’ At least Secondo waited until after you finished but you watch nervously for Terzo’s response but he just relaxes back in his chair smirking at his brother. 

‘You are not wrong I have been kept most satisfied by Sorella.’ His double entendre makes you wince slightly but you just hope they mark it down to Terzo being Terzo. 

‘No need to tell us that we can see quite well, ' he says, patting his own distinctly flatter stomach. ‘Primo you were right to call us here today. We need to help Terzo by eating all of this food so he doesn’t have to.’ 

‘Ah ha,’ Terzo laughs. ‘So this is another intervention then no?’ Primo shakes his head but doesn’t intervene this time, deciding that this back and forth was mostly good natured.

‘Si, an intervention for your growing waistline fratello,’ On the surface it is harsh but you can tell this is familiar ground for them, teasing and competing to one up each other. You imagine there were many similar conversations had when Secondo lost his hair. 

‘I do not mind so much,’ he shrugs, resting his arm on the back of your chair and letting his fingertips graze your shoulder. ‘I think there are plenty of people who enjoy a well fed man.’ You feel your cheeks heat as he says it remembering back to your conversation and you can feel his gaze burning into the side of your face, gaging your reaction. If you look at him now you are sure your cover will be blown.  Instead you hide your embarrassment by serving out salad between your plates but you miss the pointed looks shared between Secondo and Copia.  

There is a period of peace across the table as they all enjoy their food, the only conversation a series of compliments as they work their way through everything you brought. You are glad you decided to bring all the leftovers as you watched Primo using the last slices of bread to dip into the dressing, the only remains of the caprese salad and Copia groaning and rubbing at his stomach as he polishes off the last of the stuffed olives. 

‘I can see how you got so well fed Papa,’ he smiles in your direction. ‘I feel as if I could burst but I still don’t want to stop eating.’ You smile at his praise but you are pleased to see them all nodding in agreement.

‘Luckily for you Cardinal, all that is left is some taralli.’ You offer them each one, finishing off the last of your supply. 

‘You are lucky I didn’t know she had packed up this,’ Terzo grumbles. ‘Giving my favourite to these idioti.’ 

‘I will make you some more Papa, don’t worry,’ you reassure him. ‘I think I have the recipe down perfectly now if I do say so myself.’

‘Where did you get the recipe, Sorella?’ Secondo asks. He looks down at the taralli in his hand. ‘I can’t say I am an expert like Terzo here, but these taste exactly like the ones I remember. The ones your Madre used to send us, before.’ Before what you wonder? You glance between Terzo and Secondo but this time it seems they are sharing a fond memory instead of making digs at each other. 

‘I just found it online after Papa mentioned he would like them.’ You glance at Terzo but he doesn’t try to stop your white lie. 

‘It’s a shame you don’t have any of her recipes Terzo,’ He thinks aloud while eating his last bite. ‘I’m sure she had made the best food I had ever eaten.’ 

‘It is a shame, yes,’ Terzo shifts uncomfortably in his seat. ‘You know we weren’t allowed to keep anything from before.’ You look at Primo but he is staring down at his plate in defeat.

‘For what it is worth I am sorry ragazzi,’ He squeezes Secondos forearm and offers Terzo a sad smile. You feel like an intruder in this moment and as your eyes meet Copia’s you think he might feel the same. That is until you notice him tilting his head and looking at you deep in thought. You suspect piecing together the translations you asked him to look at with the conversation he had just heard. He takes in a breath looking like he is about to speak but you shake your head as subtly as you can until he clicks his mouth closed. That is a conversation for later.

‘Sorella, thank you for allowing us to share in your exquisite food,’ Primo says, drawing a line under the conversation that had just ended.

‘It is no problem at all Papa.’ You start to gather up the dishes, wishing you had brought another tray so you could give Primo back his basket. 

‘No no, leave the tidying to us please,’ he fusses, taking the pile of plates from your hands and handing them to a disgruntled Secondo. ‘Seeing how you convinced Terzo to actually come outside, why don’t you two go for a walk.’ There is a twinkle in his eye you are sure you have seen before. If the two of you hadn’t been so careful you might think he knew there was something between you. 

‘What do you say Papa?’ You feel like you finally have permission to properly look at him, and he looks breathtakingly handsome in the warm sun. ‘Shall we go for a walk?’

‘If it gets us out of doing dishes then I am in,’ he says, almost jumping up from his chair. 

‘It was good to see you Terzo,’ Primo says to him so softly it could have been missed.

‘It was good to see you all too,’ he matches Primo’s tone looking at all three of the men still sitting at the table for a moment more before turning to you with a dazzling smile. ‘Come now Sorella lets escape while we still can.’

• • • • • • • • • ✦ • • • • • • • • • •

The dressing you add last right at the point of serving. The jar has one last good shake before you remove the lid and pour it evenly over the whole salad. For some extra flair you start pouring at the centre and swirl until all the dressing is used. 

• • • • • • • • • ✦ • • • • • • • • • •

‘So that went well right?’ You are some way away from the patio so you risk moving closer, brushing your shoulders together but he doesn’t hesitate taking your hand in his.

‘Ah I suppose those nosey stronzos,’ he grumbles but there is no real bite to it, a reluctant smile pulling at the corner of his lips.

‘You know what I think?’ He only hums absentmindedly in reply, eyes following a butterfly as it dances amongst the flowers. ‘I think they missed you.’ He tips his head towards you giving you what you suspect is supposed to be an intimidating side eye but it misses its mark entirely when all you can see is the soft affection in his eyes and the sun shining off the silver grey strands running through his hair.  ‘And I think you missed them too.’

‘Bah,’ he gestures with his free hand picking up his pace as if to storm off but keeping his grip firm on you so you are forced to come with him. ‘Think you know me so well eh cara?’ It is a challenge but a playful one. There was a moment that you worried that the teasing and prodding of his brothers might have made him withdraw again but it seems that was not the case. ‘Let us see, where in this garden do you think is my favourite place?’ He stops in the middle of the path reeling you back towards him but he drops your hand to fold his arms over his chest. He thinks he has stumped you, you can tell by the smug look he is failing to conceal but you are certain you know the answer.

‘Do I get any clues?’ You ask. He thinks for a moment, tapping at the dimple of his chin.

‘It is the reason I insisted on the rooms I have.’ Maybe he thinks he is being cryptic but now you know for sure, but you don’t want to let on quite yet.

‘Ok so it is near your quarters.’ You affect a look of exaggerated deep thought and he grins at you, glad that you are playing along. Wandering slightly away from him you look about you as if looking for more clues all the while ignoring his suppressed chuckles. When the two of you spend time in his little kitchen, especially now, you spend most of your time stealing looks at one another. So often he has caught him watching you over the rim of his coffee mug except from when his attention is caught just outside his window.  Which not only gave you the chance to admire him as you so enjoy doing, but it also gave you a very good idea about his favourite part of the garden. Just in view of his window was a sculptural fountain depicting the Temptation of Eve.

‘Mmmm you are getting warm,’ he teases as you start to lead him back towards that part of the Abbey.

‘Anything else?’ You are just about to enter the walled garden when he catches up to you. He slides his arm around your waist and pulls you back against him and then lifts your hand to press a kiss to the back. 

‘It’s almost as lovely to look at as you,’ he whispers in your ear. You have to try to suppress the shivers that work your way down your spine but he is pressed so close you are sure he can feel it.  

‘Charmer,’ you chide, stepping away towards the centre of the square. ‘Stop trying to distract me.’ He reels you back in until he can rest his chin on your shoulder.  The fountain dominates the space, the nude figure intertwined with the vicious looking serpent while holding a perfect apple, poised to take a bite. 

‘You can see the fountain from the kitchen,’ you state matter of fact. You can see the very window from where you are standing visible amongst the trailing plants that climb the Abbey walls.  

‘Si and from my bedroom.’ He points towards the larger window at the end of the building as you try to orient the layout in your mind.  

‘Oh it’s like that is it,’ you tease.  

‘Hush I am trying to be sincere,’ he chides but there is no bite to it, not when he skims a kiss against your cheek. 

‘My apologies Papa.’ He clears his throat, the sound jarring in your otherwise soft conversation. ‘Terzo,’ you correct yourself. Happy now he nudges you forward until you are both standing at the edge of the splash pool and you watch for a moment, the ripples overlapping the reflection of the two of you in the water. 

‘Tell me cara mia, what brought you to this life?’ He leads you towards a bench carved into the wall surrounding this part of the garden, helping you to sit comfortably before taking a seat himself. 

‘To the Church of Satan you mean?’ It has been a long time since you thought of your life before the Ministry. 

‘Mmm,’ he hums, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. 

‘I was raised in the Christian Church,’ you begin. ‘For the first say fifteen years of my life that is all I knew. As I got older though I found myself questioning. Everything I wanted went against what I was taught and I just couldn’t understand why all these arbitrary rules were put in place to stop people being themselves.’ He nods along giving you his full attention. 

‘The arguments I had with my parents when I told them I wanted to go to culinary school, well it’s laughable now but I felt like my life was ending before it had even started. They were talking about me getting married and starting a family when all I wanted to do was learn and travel and live.’ Remembering that time fills you with that same frustration. They never were able to give you an answer other than it was God’s will and that was not enough for your questioning mind.  

‘So I left. I did everything I wanted to do and then one day I was working at a festival.’ He snorts, interrupting you for the first time. 

‘I can’t imagine you in a burger van,’ he sniggers to himself. You knock his shoulder with yours but that only makes him laugh harder.  

‘I was cooking for the VIP guests, thank you very much!’ You reply haughtily. In all honesty there was nothing wrong with working in a burger van, good food is good food, but you dread to think what mental image he has conjured up of you. ‘And that's where I saw Ghost for the first time and spoke to Papa Primo.’

‘Primo recruited you?’ He looks shocked and you are surprised he didn’t already know. 

‘Well I think it was more like I volunteered and he accepted,’ you explain. ‘He had requested some wacky off menu dish and I somehow managed to make something passable and he came to thank me. I joked about his costume and how I might consider joining if I ever found a real Church of Satan.’ 

‘And he told you about this place.’ he says thoughtfully. 

‘He did! I didn’t believe him at first but I came to visit first for a week or two, but it was like as soon as I walked in the doors it felt like I had found my place.’ You had felt at home for the first time in a long long time.  

‘What about your parents?’ He asks. ‘What do they think about you coming here?’

‘It took them a long long time to accept me straying from the life they wanted for me, even though they still don’t like it.’ They had only really accepted it when you had found success which always seemed ironic to you. ‘My being here? We just don’t speak of it. I’m sure they told all their church friends that I decided to join an obscure convent.’ It was a game you liked to play every now and then, wondering what they said when people at their church asked after you.

‘Ha! But here you are getting seduced by Satanic Popes,’ he lifts his eyebrows, clearly proud of his success in corrupting you from your fictional convent. 

‘I wouldn’t have it any other way.’ You roll your eyes at him but you are relieved that he joined you in finding humour in your strained relationship with your family. But it was his turn to share. ‘Now tell me why this is your favourite place.’

‘I used to come here when I felt lost.’ He looks down at his feet kicking at some lose stones. ‘When you have lost your way there is no one better than the Mother of Sin to help you remember what is important.’ It is a lot for him to admit given his leading role in the church. Many wouldn’t ever believe a man in his position could have ever had doubts. 

‘The bible says she was tricked into eating the apple, that her weak feminine mind was so easily warped by the serpent. But I think she made a choice. Perhaps she realised that if you are threatened and scared into ignorance you will never be free and that people deserve to choose for themselves what to do and what to believe.’ You sense his beliefs are as personal as they are philosophical. ‘Especially when so many things that bring people joy are supposed sins.’ 

You are reminded of sitting in the chapel and listening to him preach every word reaffirming your faith. He was an incredible leader and it makes your heart ache for him that he was removed from that position in such a humiliating way. You don’t voice this though. You have no doubt that these very same thoughts plague him but he is doing so much better now then when you had first properly met.  

‘Enough preaching for one day though I think,’ he laughs trailing off when he realises how long he has been talking and as much as you would happily listen to him talk for hours you let him leave the topic aside. ‘Where is your favourite place in the garden cara mia?’

‘Well that is easy.’ You don’t need to think for even a moment. ‘It’s the moon garden.’ He tilts his head in surprise. ‘I didn’t appreciate it at first, having all white flowers made no sense to me. One of the most beautiful things about flowers is the vivid rainbow of colours. But then one night I was leaving your quarters and I was on the verge of going to Primo and telling him I couldn’t do it.’ You remember that time well even though so much has changed since. Having to fight the urge to quit every time he rejected another meal. ‘You hadn’t eaten a thing and I was so upset with myself.

‘I owe you an apology, I think for being so difficult.’ He mumbles but the last thing you want to do is make him feel bad. 

‘No I mean you had your reasons,’ you say trying to reassure him.  

‘Maybe I did, I felt that I had nothing to live for I suppose.’ It hurts to hear but it isn’t a surprise that that is how he had felt. ‘But I could only stomach so much self pity before I got hungry.’ He winks at you and even this serious conversation doesn’t stop your instinctive blush spreading across your cheeks. 'Thank you for being patient with me.’ He follows the bloom of colour across your face with the tip of his fingers, his sincerity only making it worse.  

‘It was worth it,’ you admit, lowering your voice to match his soft tone. ‘Something told me I should walk through the gardens that night so I did and then it was like I had walked into another world. Every single white flower was glowing in the moonlight and I had to just sit and eventually I knew that everything was going to be alright.’  

‘And was it?’ His hand cups your face and even such an innocent touch has your heart racing as you work up the courage to say what you wish to.

‘The next day was the day you left me the recipe book.’ The moment feels fragile as he looks into your eyes searchingly. It feels good to have cleared the air of so many of your unspoken things. It’s probably inadvisable to allow him this close outside of his quarters but he looks as vulnerable as you feel right now and there is only one thing you can think to do. This kiss reminds you of the first time in the kitchen. The simple action of pressing your lips to his feels so intimate and for you at least, saying things you are far from ready to speak out loud. 

• • • • • • • • • ✦ • • • • • • • • • •

Hi hello yes it is me actually updating. Please no one die of shock. I had about 1000 words of this sitting here for the last six months and then suddenly I managed to write it all in the last three days. I want to promise there won't be another six months until the next chapter but who knows what will happen to my brain. Thank you to @ghostchems and @da-rulah for letting me talk about this endlessly and @writingjourney for cheering me on even when I wouldn't tell her any spoilers haha

I hope you all enjoyed and I will be starting a tag list over again because I have no idea who might even want to read this fic anymore so please just let me know if you want to be tagged in the future chapters 💜💜💜

I make the conscious choice to act with compassion and kindness, because I was not treated with compassion or kindness.

Look who's next ! 👀✨

I have to. Secondo is my fav papa to draw even if I don't draw him that much and it's been a long time since I last drew him?? Well I sketch him quite a lot but never share jaidoqbd and I need to test my new love for textured brush on him.

he’s got the ghowboy ghat on está listo para pistear 🇲🇽

Peeling oranges for someone is a love language.

Smudged Mirrors

|| Tl;dr Morning routine softness with Secondo. :) This is just an older work from my ao3 that I thought I would bring over here!

There are many terrible things in this world. The shrill blare of an alarm clock ripping you from your dreams among the worst offenders. Waking to find that the bed has already gone empty and cold, another. The entire room felt quiet and solemn as if it too was mourning the absence of your beloved. The thick blankets quickly grew too cold to be comfortable any longer and remnants of sleep still clung to your senses as you slowly sat up with a renewed dedication to seek out a new source of warmth.

The scent of spiced soap and a lingering mist from the shower wafted through the partially open bathroom door, a testament to Secondo’s stubborn refusal to sleep in on nearly any day. It was a gentle reminder of the countless mornings when you had woken up together, the sound of falling water mingling with laughter and shared tenderness.

After attempting to gather your thoughts, you swung your legs over the side of the bed and made your way towards the bathroom, the rhythmic sound of falling water growing louder with each step. The antique wooden wardrobe looked untouched as you passed by it. You paused to pull out Secondo’s Papal robes and the cassock he often preferred to wear underneath before folding them neatly on the bed and continuing on. Upon pushing the door open, you were met with the sight of steam billowing around the room, cloaking the space in a misty haze.

“I may be aging but I’m not deaf yet. I can still hear your attempts to sneak up on me, amore mio.” Even with his back turned towards you, you could hear the smirk in his voice despite his stern tone. Water droplets still dribbled over his skin as he moved while the steam swirled around him, seemingly dancing in tune with a silent melody.

“I would’ve thought all those concerts would’ve done you in.”

Secondo paid no mind to your witty comment, instead continuing on as if he hadn’t been interrupted at all.

“Were you sleeping well? You didn’t budge when I got up.”

“I was. That is until I was left alone in the arctic cold of silk sheets.” Your retort came with maybe a little more sass than necessary as you lifted yourself to sit on the counter.

Secondo hummed softly, the deep rumble building in his chest as he leaned over to thread his fingers through your messy bed head.

“Hmmm. I suspect you’ll survive, you appear plenty lively to me.” His words were muffled against your hair as he pressed a kiss on the top of your head. For once you decided to remain quiet when you felt him smile against you.

After a few silent minutes, Secondo pulled away to return to his routine and you quickly grew bored. You twisted around, leaning in closer to the water covered mirror and reached a hand out to draw a shape against its reflective surface. Only after you had placed your initials next to a small heart were you interrupted.

“Those stay there, you know. Smudges, after the fog is gone.” He grumbled softly before swiping a razor against his cheek once more. His eyes only flickered to you before refocusing on the task of shaving. The dedication to precision and attention to detail were always present, even in the simplest of moments. A roll of your eyes was the only reaction you gave in to. Secondo had always been much more of a perfectionist, although it was admittedly respectable.

Pulling back from the mirror, you gracefully slipped off your perch on the counter and moved closer to him, pressing a kiss against each freshly shaven cheek. The morning routine had become a dance between the two of you, a choreography of sweet gestures and affectionate exchanges.

“Are you absolutely sure you need to go to work? And so early?” It was the same familiar question you asked him at least once a week, and that tiny sliver of hope in your voice that the ever so serious older man would take off work remained every time.

“Si, I am entirely sure. Has my answer ever changed?” Secondo’s unfaltering response only prompts you to lean back against his shoulder and clasp your hands to your chest, feigning being fatally wounded. There is a sigh at your dramatics, a kiss pressed against your temple before being waved off once more.

“You have your own work to attend to, piantagrane. Go.” You finally accepted being shooed off after a few more lingering kisses, good byes murmured softly in each other's ears before leaving the former Papa be to finish getting ready for the day yourself.

By the time you had returned to the bathroom with the intention of using up all the remaining hot water for yourself, Secondo was gone from the room. As to be expected, but still disappointing. While setting your own towels down atop the granite counter, you couldn’t help but to glance back at the small smears you had earlier left along the surface of the mirror. Papa was right, the fog had dissipated and left behind streaks of smudging. Except now it was impossible to ignore the small, cursive initials ‘S.E’ that had appeared opposite of your own.

There is still hope. Say it out loud. Palestine will be free. The Palestinian people will celebrate their culture and heritage with each other. We will love and be loved. Do not fall into the trap of despair.

Camellia: Popia x f!reader - Chapter 1

Camellia: n. - A flower which symbolizes a deep desire or longing.

Summary: You are a translator for the Ministry. You receive a letter summoning you to the Abbey for a project involving an ancient diary with a mysterious author, but you find yourself wishing you were back home. That is, until you meet the charming Papa Emeritus the Fourth.

Word count: 4.4k

A/N: Hi all!! This is the first long-form fic I've ever written and decided to publish, so I hope you all enjoy!! The first chapter is mostly setup and scene building, so not a lot of interaction with our beloved Copia. But there will be more, I promise!!

Warnings: none for now but there will be some in later chapters.

AO3 Link

Prologue

“Will you help me move this box?” the Brother of Sin says. 

Wordlessly, the Sister of Sin stops what she’s doing and maneuvers through the crowded, dusty basement room to help the Brother. The two crouch down, bracing their hands against the box of books. It leaves behind a path carved into the layers of dust as it slides across the wooden floor. 

Once the box is pushed a few feet out of the way, the Sister lets go and, losing her balance, falls to her hands and knees from the crouching position. She cries out in surprise when her hand sinks through the floorboards as one of the slats gives way. The hole is only a few inches deep and filled with dirt and cobwebs, but the Sister’s hand falls onto something softer than wood. 

She lifts her hand to find that there’s a small leather-bound volume hidden face-down in the small crevice. The Sister can hardly imagine how long it has been there, with how thick the grime lies on the back cover. 

This room of the Abbey’s basement had been long forgotten, until Sister Imperator tasked these Siblings of Sin to clear out the room to make way for new storage. They had half expected to find a ruby-encrusted sarcophagus in the room, with how ancient and opulent the Abbey is. So far the only things of interest they have found are books—it seems that the only items stored in the room are books. 

The Sister gently removes the book from the hole in the floor and replaces the wooden slat. Even through her gloves she can tell that it is close to disintegrating. The distinct orange of rotten leather lines the edges of its binding and a few corners of pages fall to the ground. 

“What’s that?” The Brother asks. 

The Sister carefully turns the volume over so that she can read the front cover. It, too, is covered in dust, so she gently brushes it with her hand in order to read the embossed leather cover. Having been face-down in the crevice, the gold leaf illuminating the embossment is preserved and it shines in the low light of the basement. 

“It says…” the Sister squints to read the small letters, “...Elizabeth.” 

“Elizabeth? Who’s Elizabeth?” 

The Sister turns over the book once more. “I don’t know, just… Elizabeth.”

Chapter 1

The ride from the airport to the Abbey is a long one. The car you had been picked up in took you through the city and the suburbs, to the rural outskirts of civilization where the coniferous trees block much of the sunlight. The winding roads, dotted in late-afternoon sunbeams, feel endless as the car climbs into the hills. It’s been a silent ride, and rather awkward (at least, you feel that it’s been awkward) because the helmeted ghoul who drives the sleek black sedan has not said a word. 

You knew that the Abbey has ghouls. A few abbeys do, as they are big enough to warrant summoning help, but your home chapter is not. This is the first time you’ve met one. 

You wonder if they’re all so stoic, or if the driver simply doesn’t have anything to say. He isn’t impolite, but you wish he would say something, anything to make the drive a little more bearable. You want to ask him about the Abbey–what the Siblings are like, what Papa is like. How many Siblings live there full time? How big is the library? You’ve heard that the ghost of a former Papa haunts the corridors, is that true? Hundreds of questions brew in your mind, but the ghoul remains silent and you’re left feeling like an unwelcome guest in a strange country.

You already miss home. 

The Marseille abbey, your home for the better part of your adult life, is a medieval stone structure built on a hilltop south of the Marseille city proper. The ornate, stained-glass windows of its chapel face west over the Mediterranean so that the sunset streams into the room during Black Mass. The walls are old and drafty, and keep faded tapestries in a constant state of fluttering. The linens line the walls of the refectory in between tall, narrow windows which also overlook the sea. If it were not for the inverted crosses and scenes of the unjust fall of Lucifer, one might think the atmosphere in the chapel—and the rest of the small abbey—is almost holy.

The windows in the Sibling dormitories are small and south-facing, with deep stone sills and wood frames that have somehow managed to survive the ages (although they hardly open without a fight.) Your own dormitory windowsill is lined with personal prayer books. Each has about a hundred loose papers sticking out. They are your translation practice, your way of staying versed in every language you know, because you know the prayers by heart at this point. The papers are experiments: which language makes the prayer sound better, sound prettier? Which language makes the most sense? Which language makes the prayers the shortest, the longest? 

No matter which language you use, to you the prayers sound the most beautiful in your mother tongue. That is how you’d memorized them, after all. Yet… you wish there had been room in your single suitcase to take your prayer books with you. 

“We’re almost there,” the ghoul says, snapping you out of your homesick reverie. His voice is deep and softer than you’d expected. There’s no spurt of hellfire from his mouth as you’d half-thought there would be, and no low rumble in his words that might signify he’s more beast than man. The ghoul, despite his bug-eyed mask, seems shockingly human. 

He steers the car through tall wrought-iron gates which seem to open automatically. You can see the tall peak of the Abbey’s bell tower peeking through the trees, and suddenly the reality that you’re very, very far from home hits you. 

You unfold the crinkled envelope in your hands and reread the letter for the hundredth time that day. 

Dear Sister, 

I hope this letter finds you well. 

We at the Abbey have recently uncovered a very important document which we require your expertise to translate. However, this document is extremely fragile and cannot be transported in the post. Papa Emeritus IV and the rest of the Clergy request your presence at the Abbey as soon as possible. 

We expect this project to take several months. Enclosed is a one-way ticket for you to travel to the airport closest to us, from which a car will transport you to the Abbey. We will discuss plans for your return to Marseille when you are nearing the end of your work here.

We anxiously await your arrival. 

Sincerely, 

Sister Imperator

The letter itself is quite presumptuous. Sister Imperator had assumed you were not busy, and assumed that you would be able to drop everything and travel halfway across the world for a months-long project. And then to use Papa’s name to exaggerate the importance of this mysterious document which she hadn’t even disclosed the nature of? 

Well… you can’t exactly say no to the woman who practically runs the Ministry’s affairs. 

The car takes a bend in the Abbey’s endless driveway and emerges into a clearing. Sitting far back on a sprawling lawn is a massive, imposing stone structure. The rows of trimmed hedges and flower bushes do little to soften the gothic hardness of it. Two pointed bell towers loom over the steep roof of what must be the chapel, with stained glass windows stretching up at least two storeys. The central image is of Baphomet, in his iconographic pose. The setting sun glints off of his golden halo. Sweet Satan, you think, your eyes tracking the window as the car rounds the drive. Baphomet alone must be taller than the entire height of Marseille. 

The ghoul pulls the car to a stop in front of the wide steps leading up to wooden double doors. A woman stands there, her hands clasped in front of her and her back straight, like the matron of this grand palace. You suppose she is–the severity of her expression alone leads you to believe that it’s Sister Imperator who waits for you.

You step out into the chilly air and shut the car door behind yourself. The ghoul already has your suitcase in hand and gestures for you to walk up the stairs before him. You wish he’d let you carry your own suitcase, if only to give your hands something to do, but you are far too stunned to ask. Climbing the shallow stone steps feels like stepping into another world. A world in which you feel far too plain to exist. 

“Sister,” The woman greets with a smile. It doesn’t quite reach her eyes, which squint at you beneath slightly furrowed, well-groomed brows. She strikes you as someone who is all business, all the time. “How was your journey?” 

You return her smile as best you can. She speaks to you like you don’t understand English. “It went well, your dark eminence.” 

She seems a little surprised that you respond so fluently, but she quickly fixes her face into another warm grin. “I am glad to hear it,” she says. “Thank you for coming on such short notice. I’m sure you must understand that this document is very important, and quite fragile. We would not risk losing it in the post.” “Of course,” you nod. “If I may ask, Sister Imperator, what is this document? You did not disclose it in your letter.” You gesture to the envelope safely stored in your jacket pocket. 

Sister Imperator turns to step inside the slightly ajar wooden door and you assume she wants you to follow. The ghoul accompanies you over the threshold, but at the wave of a hand from Sister Imperator, he turns down a narrow corridor with your suitcase and disappears around a corner. 

You are still a bit too overwhelmed to thank him. Instead, you look at the woman beside you. “The ghoul will bring your luggage to a room we have prepared for your stay,” she explains at your silent question.

She continues down the main hall, deeper into the Abbey. Your footsteps echo through the atrium, bouncing up to the high, painted ceilings and off the stone walls. There are a few wooden benches pushed back against the wall, with pots of surprisingly lush houseplants on either side. Framed oil paintings line the walls: some depicting biblical scenes, some of landscapes, and a few large, dignified portraits. You can tell by the distinct Papal paints in each portrait that the subject is a Papa, and you wonder which one depicts Papa Emeritus IV. You’ve never seen an image of His Unholiness before. 

After a few moments of silence, Sister Imperator speaks again. “We found the document last month, in one of the storage rooms in the Abbey’s basement.” She likes to use the royal ‘we’ a lot, you think. 

She continues. “One of our archivists believes that it is at least five hundred years old. It is very fragile, you see, and so we ask that you handle it with the utmost care as you work with it. We would prefer it if you used gloves. And frankly, Sister, I believe that you would want to. The leather is fairly rotten.” You stay silent as you follow slightly behind her. You’ve worked with old, rotten books before. The pages nearly crumble apart in your hands and the leather splits easily, but it’s nothing you can’t handle. 

“We believe it is a journal—a diary, rather, of someone very important in the Ministry’s history.” You find it strange that she doesn’t immediately disclose whose diary it might be. “Who, if I may ask?” “Elizabeth.” Sister Imperator’s voice is clipped as she answers you. She gives no further explanation. Just Elizabeth. 

There are millions of women named Elizabeth in the world. It is very likely that there is more than one important Elizabeth in the Ministry’s history as well. It’s a fairly common name, especially five hundred years ago (if the archivist is correct). For all you know, this document could be some random Sister’s sexual logbook, and documenting her sinful indulgences was her way of praying to the Lord Below. 

You break out of your ponderance over possibilities when Sister Imperator turns a corner to walk down another, slightly narrower (but still wide) corridor. She speaks again. “The book is to be kept in a lockbox at all times when you are not working with it. Under no circumstances is it to be removed from the Abbey library without my express permission, or the permission of Papa. Is that understood?” 

“Yes, Sister,” you answer hastily. Her tone of voice as she lays down the law makes you feel as though you’ve already made a mistake. 

“Now. The reason we need you, Sister, is because none of our own archivists or translators can figure out what language the journal is written in.” 

This piques your interest, and also slightly flatters you. “What do you mean?” you ask.

She releases a long-suffering sigh. “The writing is jumbled. It is a mess of letters and sometimes numbers, with no spaces whatsoever.” 

The possibilities immediately start to stack in your mind. Latin from the Roman era tended not to use spaces, a practice called ‘scriptio continua’. Ancient Greek also did this… but wouldn’t the in-house translators be able to read it? 

“I cannot explain it well enough,” Sister Imperator says. “You will have to see, Sister.” 

The two of you come to another set of large double doors. Sister Imperator pushes one open and steps inside, holding it open for you. You slip past her into a huge, bright room, filled with hundreds and hundreds of bookshelves. Immediately you are hit with the scent of old books and parchment paper, and the gentle sounds of turning pages. To your left sits an ornate wooden desk with one Sibling standing behind it. They are sorting books onto a three-tiered cart, presumably to put them away in the correct order. You accidentally make eye contact, but they smile politely and you respond in kind with a little wave. 

You avert your gaze upward towards the open second floor, which wraps around the large atrium and is protected by a dark oak bannister. A few Siblings linger on the catwalk, carrying books or making their way towards the wide staircase that opens to your right. The bottom floor of the atrium houses several wooden tables where another smattering of Siblings sit. Most other tables are empty save for an abandoned book or two. 

The late evening glow shines down into the room from a large, circular skylight in the middle of the ceiling. There are desk lamps and overhead lights scattered about but none have been turned on yet. 

It reminds you of the University library.

“Come,” Sister Imperator says after allowing you to gaze around the massive library for a moment. “The lockbox is in the restricted section. You will receive your own key while you are here but you are required to return it, directly to myself or the Head Librarian, before you leave.”

She leads you up the carpeted staircase and deep into the bowels of the second floor. Towards the back corner, where the shelves are labeled ‘Fiction - Romance’, there is a wooden door tucked against the wall. A sign beneath its small glass window reads ‘RESTRICTED’. Sister Imperator fishes a rather noisy set of keys from her pocket and finds the correct one to unlock the door. She pushes it open with a squeak that feels loud in the quiet of the library. When both of you are in the room and the door is shut behind you, she removes an identical key from her keyring and hands it to you. “Your copy,” she says. “Do not lose it.” 

The room isn’t cramped, but it is small compared to the atrium. A few single-person desks sit along the back wall, while the walls on either side of you are lined with glass boxes. Each box is shaped similarly to a narrow cubby, and houses a single book. Printed labels on the front face of each box display a box number and the name of the volume stored inside. 

“Your key allows you to access any of these boxes,” Sister Imperator explains to you, “but I do not expect you to require any of them, except for the diary you’ll be working with. It is kept in box number seven, which is here,” she points to a box about halfway up the rightmost column of cubbies. Using her key (still attached to the incredibly jingly keyring), she gently unlocks the box and it glides out like a drawer. 

You step beside her to look down into the glass drawer. The diary is wrapped in white linen, but you can see the faint brown color of the leather through the cloth. “The archivist requests that you keep the white cloth under the book at all times,” Sister Imperator says. She reaches down into the box and gently retrieves the diary, careful not to jostle the cloth too much. “It will protect the leather from further decay.” You don’t need her to explain how preservation works, but you appreciate it anyway. It saves you from having to ask, or endure another awkward silence. 

She places the book down on a nearby table and slowly unwraps the cloth. Already you can see small flecks of brown and orange sticking to it where the leather has rotted, but it seems to be fairly well preserved in light of its age. On the front cover in small, embossed gold letters is the name Elizabeth. 

“Elizabeth,” you say, understanding. 

“Elizabeth,” Sister Imperator replies. “That is the only word we have managed to decipher. Hopefully you will be able to help us with the rest.”

You nod. “I believe I can.” 

She wraps the cloth loosely around the book once more, and returns it to its box. “I do not expect you to start tonight, Sister. We will give you time to settle, and have something to eat. But from tomorrow morning until you are done, this is your sole responsibility. Do you understand?” 

Her sudden, almost intimidating tone surprises you. You bite the inside of your cheek–a nasty habit you’ve had since you were a child. “I understand, your Dark Eminence,” you say with another nod. 

Her face softens, as does her stare. “Please, just Sister is fine,” she says. You follow her again as she begins to lead you out of the Restricted room. “I believe the dinner hour is to start soon. I will show you to your dormitory, and then leave you to get settled.” 

She brings you back through the library and the main hall towards where you’d seen the ghoul disappear with your luggage. The dormitory hall is a long, narrow corridor with windows on one side and doors on the other. Each door is marked with a number and a nameplate, and in between each door are wall sconces lit by incandescent bulbs. Halfway down the hall there is an opening to a stairwell which, you assume, leads up to the second floor of the dormitories. You walk past many, many doors, some of which have two nameplates, until you reach the very end of the hall where there are unmarked doors. Sister finds her keyring again and unlocks one, then removes the key and hands it to you. 

“These rooms here are the guest quarters. They are typically not suited for long-term stays but we have prepared yours to have everything you will need. If you need anything, ask Sibling Superior and they will make sure that you receive it.”

Sister Imperator turns to leave, but then turns around. “You know, Sister,” she says, with a curious look. “For someone of your expertise, I thought you would have been… older.” You can’t tell if it’s praise or suspicion in her voice. “Yes, well,” you stall. How are you supposed to explain that language just comes naturally to you and that it’s not your fault you’re not old and wrinkly? “I suppose once you learn one language, all the rest come easy. Especially romance languages.” 

“Hm,” Sister Imperator hums, sizing you up for a moment. “Find me at the end of the week and we will talk about your progress. I’m sure you will know your way around by then.” 

It seems her well of kindness has run dry.  

~~~

If the loud ringing of the bell didn’t tell you that the dinner hour had started, then the steadily rising sounds of a crowd did. You can hear the murmurs of conversation even through your closed door. A few Siblings emerge from the dormitory next to yours, their chatting and laughing growing quieter as they walk down the corridor towards the refectory. The old wood floorboards creak above you from the movement of Siblings who occupy the second floor. All around you there is an excited bustle, and yet you don’t feel like joining it. 

You have never liked crowds. Especially crowds of strangers. And these strangers all seem to know each other, if the echoes of loud conversations tell you anything. 

But your stomach does rumble, and you feel rather weak from a day of travel, so you decide that it’s best to eat something before you go to bed. Once the corridor seems clear again, you quietly slip out your door (patting your pocket to make sure you remembered your key) and make your way to the refectory. Sister Imperator hadn’t shown it to you but you can make an educated guess as to where it is. 

When you emerge into the main hall, you see a few Siblings occupying the wood benches that had been previously empty. They all hold trays or to-go boxes on their laps. Some speak animatedly, enthralling their friends with stories from their eventful day, while others sit quietly beside each other and eat. You think that it might be nice to sit somewhere to eat so that you feel a bit more connected to the Abbey, but all of the benches are occupied. The ever-growing roar from the refectory does not seem too appealing, either. 

The large room is across the main hall from the library. When you turn the corner you see that it’s not as grand as the atrium, and that it only occupies one level. There are sheer curtains hung over the windows, which allow the sunlight to illuminate the room but keeps it from growing too warm. Siblings, Clergy members, and ghouls alike sit at long wooden tables not unlike those of your home Abbey. But these tables alone are longer than the entire length of the Marseille refectory, and once again you’re reminded that you’re quite far from home. 

No, you can’t eat here. Not tonight. 

There is a long counter stretching nearly wall-to-wall to the left of the door, where a dwindling line of Siblings make their dinner selections. Whatever meal the kitchens had prepared smells delicious but you find that you don’t have the appetite for it. However, close to where you stand in the doorway and nestled in the space between the wall and the counter, are a few baskets of fruit arranged on a small table. The baskets are nearly empty, with the only indication of their contents being the small pops of color peeking through gaps in the woven pattern. 

Despite not wanting a hot meal, you are hungry, and so you enter the refectory and move towards the baskets. You opt for two good-sized oranges–although the bananas do look perfectly ripe–and turn to leave as quickly as you came. Your eyes briefly sweep over the crowd and land on a long table, perpendicular to all the others, situated on a platform at the opposite end of the refectory. The platform isn’t tall, but it is just enough to raise the table’s occupants slightly above the Siblings. The table is entirely composed of men, save for Sister Imperator, who seems to be talking to an older man with Papal paints and long blonde hair–is that Papa?

You look at the others occupying the table, and find that no less than three are also wearing Papal paints. 

Marseille is a tiny Abbey. At any given time, only about ten Siblings reside there at once. And so there is no need for an upper Clergyman to be stationed there. Instead, the Chapter is run by Bishop Beaumont, who (until now) is the highest ranking member of the Satanic Ministry you have ever met, let alone seen. 

So, to be faced with not one, but four Papas, all in the same room, makes your heart thump with nerves. You recognize them all from the portraits in the main hall, but in person they are all so much more… just more. And yet you still don’t know who is who. 

Of course, you know that all four of the most recent reigning Papas are brothers, the order of which was determined by age. The man who Sister Imperator is talking to must be Papa Emeritus I, or Papa Primo, as you’ve heard him called by Bishop Beaumont. The other three look relatively close in age, and so you truly have no idea which man currently holds the helm and steers the ship. 

You realize you’re staring when you make eye contact with one of the Papas. You nearly gasp in surprise, as if you shouldn’t even be on the same plane of existence as him… and yet your eyes met. Of course one of them would have caught you eventually, you think. You were practically ogling them from across the room. 

Hastily, you turn and make your way back out of the refectory and into the main hall. Your eyes fall on the nearest portrait. The Papal paints of the subject match the ones of the man you’d just been caught staring at. You blush as if his portrait could think, and had just caught you a second time. Your eyes flick down to the gold plate affixed to the frame, and read the words. 

PAPA EMERITUS IV.

The Prince

Part Four: The Herbalist (ao3 // part one // part two // part three)

Vampire Terzo x F!Reader, Special Guest Star Primo

Summary: You and Terzo hit the road and head for Primo's. It goes about as well as expected. (13000 words [I know. I have a problem] and not beta read because frankly, that's a lot to ask.)

Tags/Warnings: NSFW, MDNI, 18+, horror themes, vampire violence, neck biting, blood, blood drinking, major character injury, hurt/comfort, SMUT, and more tags on ao3

banner by my dear dear friendo @ramblingoak. Thank you for absolutely everything.

There was nothing around for miles. It was just you and an endless expanse of highway etched into the bright green splatters of forest that only seemed to exist between cities anymore. You’d spent the last several hours speeding past fireworks warehouses and billboards for adult video stores in the absolute middle of nowhere. A cheap pair of sunglasses purchased at a truck stop larger than the high school you’d attended kept the sun out of your eyes. The pair you purchased for Terzo rattled away in the cupholder next to your knee.

Following a short conversation on the nature of werewolves, he had moved into the backseat and passed out. He curled up tight like a cat trying to make itself as small as possible, a cheap blanket pulled over his head to keep the sun off his face. He’d been unusually quiet for most of the drive, so it didn’t surprise you too much when he crawled back there with little more than a mumbled explanation. It wouldn’t have bothered you, but quiet was so out of the ordinary for him you couldn’t help but worry.

The hours of sitting combined with the soft drone of the engine and the otherwise silent drive did nothing to help you stay awake. After what felt like an eternity, you finally found a place with the right combination of populated enough to go unnoticed and shitty enough to be ignored.

Terzo didn’t move at all as you threw the car into park, groaning at the dull ache in your knees. You reached over, tucking the blanket tighter around his shoulders as he shivered.

“Terzo? I’ll be right back, ok?”

When he didn’t respond you forced yourself out of the car. The least you could do was get him to a bed.

You exchanged a few words and some cash with the motel manager, finding another delicate balance between don’t wanna know and paid enough to forget. People in places like these had seen enough already, heard every sad story or fake name anyone could come up with and you didn’t have the time or energy to pretend to explain away the bruises on your face.

With a room secured, you ducked into the truck stop next door to grab supplies. Your skin itched as soon as the car left your field of vision, but you figured it was better to keep Terzo and his blood soaked sweater far from view. You thumbed through a few novelty t-shirts and souvenir hats as you made your way around and loaded up on snacks and water. There was no Michelin star, but the truck stop offered something resembling hot food and you weren’t about to be picky.

Terzo stirred, grumbling softly as you settled back into the car and parked closer to the room you’d been assigned.

“Bellezza?” he asked, his voice weak and slightly hoarse. “Where are we?”

“Uh, not sure exactly. But it’ll do for the next few hours at least. C’mon, sexy,” you chirped as you hopped out, trying to keep the mood light. You tucked the plastic bag under your arm, balancing the snacks and water on your hip as you popped open the door by his head.

He sat up and frowned, wincing as the sun shone brightly behind you. “How far?”

“A few feet, maybe ten? We’re just right there,” you offered, pointing at the door to the room.

“Bellezza, I need you to go open the door.”

You shrugged and turned the keycard over in your hand as you walked toward the door. The lock had barely clicked out of place, its electronic parts grinding through years of overuse to flash that green light when Terzo rushed past, shoulder-checking you at inhuman speed. You followed him in, opening your mouth to complain and letting it snap shut when you realized he was cowering in the corner. Moving as fast as you could, you kicked the door shut and spun around to pull the curtains closed.

“Thank you,” he whispered.

“Terzo, are you—”

“I’m fine, cara,” he insisted, cutting you off too quickly to really be believable. “Just a little weak is all.”

“Do you need anything?”

“Just to rest,” he replied with a light laugh. His knees popped loudly as he stood, the long drive having no mercy for his joints either. He looked around the dusty room, a sly smile spreading across his face. “One bed, eh? You are warming up to me.”

“Are you sure you’re ok?”

He crawled up on the bed with a sigh and shot you his best attempt at a serious look. “I’ll be better when you join me, bellezza.”

You rolled your eyes at his suggestive eyebrow raise and placed the overstuffed plastic bag on the table by the window. After poking around for a moment, you found the shirt you’d grabbed for him inside.

“Take that off,” you said and motioned to your once prized and now disgusting sweater.

He grinned as he whipped the bloody shirt across the room. “Should we discuss a safe word—ah!”

The balled-up t-shirt hit him right between the eyes.

“What is this?” he asked, pouting slightly.

“It’s for you to wear.”

His pout turned into a deep frown as he examined the shirt. “Bellezza…”

“Yes?” you replied innocently.

“This is funny to you?” he asked, pulling the thing over his head.

It was ill-fitting in so many ways, far too short and too baggy for his frame with a stretched-out neckline and sleeves that went to his elbows. But the thing that had made you buy him that shirt was spelled out right there on his chest in huge letters.

Garlic Bread Slut.

You bit your lip and turned away from him. “Nope. Not funny at all.”

His arms slid around your waist as he pressed himself against your back and leaned in close to your ear. “Oh, I think you like it.”

“I think you have a really odd way of resting,” you countered as you dug through the bag for your food. “You should lay down.”

“Such a tease,” he chided as he released you, but kept his chin on your shoulder. “What in Satan’s name is that?”

You shrugged and tossed the container’s plastic lid onto the table. “I think its spaghetti?”

“No, bellezza. That is an abomination. Please tell me you’re not going to eat that.”

“What? You don’t wanna share?”

He grumbled as he moved away from you to settle on the bed. You climbed up on the other side, folding your legs under yourself as you poked at your subpar mystery pasta. Terzo curled up next to you, his eyes heavy as he watched you chewing slowly. With a soft smile, you turned and handed him the remote.

“What’s this for?”

“You should find one of your movies so you can sleep,” you suggested.

“But…you hate those.”

“Yeah, but you don’t,” you replied as you reached over him to grab a serving of disturbingly cold garlic bread. “Hey, does garlic—”

“No,” he said quickly and stole a bite from your bread. “Oh, that’s awful.”

“Serves you right, you little shit,” you teased with a laugh.

He frowned deeply as he chewed, clearly regretting his decision. He flipped through a few channels to distract himself, occasionally making a disgusted face and sticking his tongue out much like a child would. He managed to find a cable version of some romcom you vaguely remembered, something with lead actors the general population would’ve known instantly. He could probably recite their entire filmographies, but you were stuck squinting at the male actor wondering if his hair had always looked like that.

Around twenty minutes passed, most of them filled with noisy commercials instead of the movie Terzo was trying to watch. It didn’t matter anyway—he could barely keep his eyes open longer than a couple of minutes. Again he mumbled through the excuse that he was just tired, waving you off when you asked.

If he was going to insist that he was fine, you could go on about your business as well. You slipped off the bed and circled back to the bag still laying on the table.

“Where are you going?” he asked, tiredly raising his head the same way a sleepy puppy would.

“To brush my teeth.” You dug the new toothbrush and a tube of toothpaste from the bag, waving it around as proof.

“Ah, garlic.”

“Got you one too,” you added with a wink and dropped the brush with the purple handle on his chest as you walked by.

He clutched the packaging like a bridesmaid who just caught the bouquet, sighing dramatically. “Bellezza, I didn’t know you cared!”

“What, about your breath?” you teased. “If I don’t take care of the garlic bread slut, who will?”

He pushed himself up with a grunt. “Cara mia, I’ll take care of you. Twice.”

“Not if you don’t brush your teeth,” you quipped, scrunching your nose at him. You set about brushing your own teeth, watching him drag himself from the bed in the mirror’s reflection. You shot him a little smile before returning to your task and daydreaming about all the sleep you were about to get.

There was a thud behind you, loud and heavy enough to be heard over your efforts. You glanced up at the mirror and realized it was the sound of his body hitting the floor.

You screamed his name and tossed your toothbrush into the sink before rushing over to him. Pulling his head into your lap, you began frantically patting at his face. “C’mon, wake up Terzo,” you begged, tears stinging your eyes. “Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. No, no, no. Please. Terzo, I don’t know how to help you.”

His eyes fluttered open, unfocused as he looked up at you. He grabbed ahold of your wrist to keep your hand pressed to his face. “What happened?”

“I don’t know. You just—” You stopped short as you gazed down at him. His face was gaunt, the hollows deepening to gather more shadow as you watched helplessly. In the few seconds since you’d left him his skin dulled, turning a lifeless greenish gray under your fingertips. “No, no, no—”

His grip tightened around your wrist. “Bellezza, I need—”

“Yeah, ok.” You nodded quickly and thrust your other wrist in front of his face.

He pushed your hands away and scrambled to his feet, nearly tripping over them in his haste. He shook his head, taking several steps backward until he was pressed against the door. “No,” was all he said, his tone firm. “I won’t. Not you.”

“Terzo, I’m not sure we have any other options here—”

“You don’t understand what you’re offering,” he growled, his white eye glowing as he fixed you with a serious look.

“Oh, so you can steal my garlic bread, but you’re too good for my blood?”

“Ragazza sciocca, it’s not that simple!” he shouted.

“Don’t fucking yell at me for trying to help you!” you shouted back.

“You can’t help me. You need to leave.”

“Are you fucking kidding? Terzo, there are still people after us. I’m not going to leave you here like this.”

“I will be fine,” he grunted as he threw himself back on the bed, sinking into the pillows.

“Terzo, stop. You can barely move; you can’t even go outside—”

“I will wait until dark then—” he snapped at you.

“And do what?” you yelled helplessly. “Crawl across the parking lot and hope someone gets close enough? You can’t even walk now; how bad will it be at nightfall? Just get it over with. I’ll be fine.”

He started to laugh, grimacing through the pain. “You really don’t know anything about vampires, do you?”

“That’s not fucking fair—”

He leaned up on his hands and knees, moving toward you slowly. “Bellezza, if you let me do this…” he started softly, averting his eyes to a spot on the carpet. “If I take from you, it will mark you for the rest of your life. Do you understand that? Do you know what that means?”

You shook your head.

He sat back and reached for your hand, squeezing it gently. “You and I…there would be…it would mark you as mine, cara.”

“What, like property?” you scoffed.

“No, it’s not as barbaric as that. It’s…there is a bond created—"

“So, everyone you snack on is just yours?”

He shook his head. “That’s different.”

“Why?”

“Because you’re different, bellezza.”

You didn’t completely understand what he’d meant, but it hit you like a punch to the gut just the same. You dropped onto the bed, trying and failing to decipher what the fuck he was trying to tell you. “Terzo, I don’t…”

“No one else could touch you,” he added softly, picking at the scratchy duvet. “Which could be good or bad, honestly. But it’s not a thing that can be undone. We would be…tied together for the rest of your natural life. I can’t…I couldn’t force that on you.”

“You’re not forcing anything on me. And anyway, it doesn’t have to be all that. I’m just trying to keep you alive—”

“You’re not listening—”

“Of course I am! There’s some magical force you can’t explain that’s gonna tether me and you if you bite me. Do you realize how fucking ridiculous you sound?”

He narrowed his eyes at you. “You’re arguing with a vampire but go ahead and tell me how ridiculous this all is. You know nothing, bellezza. Nothing about me or others like me.”

“Oh my god, I’m not asking you to turn me—”

“You don’t understand what you’re asking at all! Do you know what any of this costs? The actual cost of playing around with eternal life?”

You crossed your arms over your chest. “I’m sure you’re going to tell me.”

“Everything,” he snapped. “These things you’re so desperate to prove don’t matter to you cost us everything. For hundreds of years I have faced loss after loss after loss. Those hunter friends of yours killed Secondo’s very human girlfriend. Do you understand? That hunter—a girl he hired and trusted stabbed his girlfriend to death in front of us and I—I was powerless to stop it.”

“Terzo, I—”

“They will kill you too,” he said in a deadly serious tone. “They will not hesitate. Do you understand? If I mark you, it will only make things worse for you.” He shook his head, grabbing your hand as he looked back up at you. He tried and failed to blink away a few tears that gathered in the corners of his eyes. “I won’t…I can’t…I cannot watch you die, bellezza.”

You whispered his name as you reached for him, wanting to offer him something—comfort or empathy or at the very least understanding. He pressed a kiss into your palm before leaning into your touch. His skin was cold, dull, lifeless and you knew he was in much worse shape than he would ever admit. You’d started your summer wanting to kill him, but now you were able to see exactly how much it would hurt if he was gone.

“I can’t watch you die either,” you said quietly, choking on your own admission. “So, I guess we’re just going to have to keep saving each other.”

He huffed out a tiny laugh. “What’s a couple more times anyway, eh?”

“Exactly. So, it’s settled then?”

“Bellezza, I don’t think the devil himself could talk you out of something you’ve set your mind to.”

“Pretty sure this isn’t the time for a theology discussion.”

He groaned and rolled his eyes. “That,” he started, struggling to push himself up. “Is the furthest thing from my mind.”

“Good. How do we…do this?”

He shot you a half-smile and motioned for you to join him on the bed, explaining the easiest and most comfortable way for him to drink from you. Building up a small mountain of pillows for him to rest against, you eased him into a better position. It was difficult to see him look so powerless after everything the two of you had been through, but the mood already felt lighter. Both of you were taking a huge risk, but you knew deep down it was the right thing to do for him. You’d been so wrong about so many things, so blind to the most obvious signs, but this one—this glowed neon and warm as the vampire looked up at you adoringly.

You settled into his lap and closed your eyes, trying to steady your breathing. Despite how much you pushed for this, how much you wanted to do this to help him, it didn’t stop you from being terrified. He brought a hand to your hip and squeezed gently as his own breaths became more labored by the second.

“Will it hurt?” you asked as softly as you could, scared that any noise would break the two of you apart and he would change his mind.

“Bellezza, I would never hurt you,” he admitted in a whisper.

You pressed your forehead to his. “I know.”

You didn’t see his weak smile, your eyes still squeezed tight as he brought a hand to your chin. He smoothed his thumb over your jaw as he coaxed your head to the side and followed the trail down the veins of your neck. You flinched as his lips met your skin, but his teeth didn’t follow as he left soft kisses over the column of your throat. Slowly you felt your body relax against him, your chests pressed together. He locked an arm around your back, his fingers digging into your flesh as the most lascivious moan vibrated through his entire body.

He was right, he hadn’t hurt you. For a few seconds you weren’t quite sure what was happening. You shifted in his lap and a surprised gasp left you as you felt his cock growing thick against you. He whined at your movements struggling to keep you still as your warm, wet blood spilled from his mouth and dribbled down your neck. That seemed to pull you back to the reality of the situation, a dull ache growing where his teeth were pressed into your skin.

His hold got tighter and tighter and it wasn’t until you let out a pitiful whimper that he finally pulled off. He licked at your wounds, hungrily lapping up every drop that dribbled down like futilely trying to fight the sun from melting an ice cream. You slumped against him, heartbeat slowing with each second.

Terzo moved beneath you, easily lifting himself up despite your dead weight. He managed to relax, stretching his legs out so he could fully lay down. He kept you pinned to him, not that you could move even if you’d wanted to. He sucked in a deep breath, your body rising as his chest filled. His body began to grow warm, his complexion slowly returning to its healthy glow under your fingertips.

Weak and tired you rested your head against the new warmth of him, eyelids growing heavier with each slow beat of your heart. A small splotch of your blood stained his t-shirt, enough that the smell of copper seemed to overpower everything. As he carded a hand through your hair, your eyes finally closed.

-x-

Terzo was gone when you woke up.

The motel room was dark and with the TV off the only light came from the glowing red numbers on the alarm clock. You reached for the lamp, your muscles so stiff and sore you could barely lift your hand from the bed. Through dry, cracked lips you muttered his name, wondering if he was just lurking somewhere in the dark, but there was no response.

Everything fucking hurt. Places in your body you didn’t know could even feel pain seemed to scream to life as you pushed yourself up. It was like fire under your skin, the way your fingers would burn as they turn white from cold. A feeling without any sort of warmth. You were freezing, shivering against the motel’s paper-thin blankets and unable to move from your resting place.

Oh, you were going to kill him.

Outside, you could hear someone whistling loudly with no regard for anyone occupying the motel rooms. The door rattled as the old lock croaked out a beep and gave way with a loud click. The whistling only got louder as Terzo strolled in sporting a bare midriff and a delivery bag.

“Well, look who’s finally awake,” he quipped as he saw you sitting up. “How are you feeling?”

“Like I hate you,” you grinded out.

He clicked his tongue. “It’s a good thing I know you don’t mean that.”

You didn’t have a proper comeback for him this time. Your brain had turned to cotton candy with the density of dark matter and your face contorted in pain as you gritted your teeth. Terzo caught you quickly as you swung your legs off the side of the bed in an effort to stand, but you had all the coordination of a baby giraffe on ice.

“You need to stay put, bellezza.”

“Terzo, we have to get out of here,” you mumbled tiredly.

“Oh no, mia principessa. We are not going anywhere until you get your strength back.”

“Well, whose fault is that?”

He shot you a look as he dropped the bag on the table. “Yours.”

You forced yourself to your feet and cast him an equally annoyed glare. “Fuck you.”

“Oh, we’re not doing that until you get your strength back either,” he teased, wiggling his slender hips at you. The sharp angle of bone and a soft trail of dark hair was on prominent display as he continued to mime the very same motions he’d used on you a few times now. 

“Ugh, stop,” you whined, feigning disgust. “Where the fuck did you even find scissors?”

“Oh, the shirt needed some modifications. I hope you don’t mind.”

You pressed your fingers against your temples. “You left me in here like this because you needed another crop top?”

“Of course not! That was more of an opportunity that just presented itself. I left because I knew you would need a few things.” He frowned at you and guided you backwards until you sat on the bed. “You shouldn’t stand for a while.”

“And you shouldn’t be running around some random truck stop in the middle of nowhere!”

The corner of his mouth quirked up, pulling into a smirk. “Bellezza, were you worried about me?”

You shoved him as hard as you could in your weakened state. “Yes, you idiot!”

“Hey,” he pouted.

“Terzo, I have spent the last few days trying to keep you safe. I let you bite me for fuck’s sake! Is this just one big game to you?” you asked accusingly, not having the strength to keep the tears brimming in your eyes under control.

He dropped onto the bed and pulled you into his lap, cradling you as he spoke. “Tesoro, no. None of this is a game, ok? None of it.”

You gasped for breath between sobs as a sharp, searing pain ripped through your neck. It was the worst thing you’d ever felt, like broken glass and fire had replaced you blood. You dug your nails into Terzo’s arm, pressing harder with each wave of hurt. The smell of copper tinged the air.

“Tesorino, you’re ok,” he cooed, smoothing a hand down your back. “I need you to breathe, sì? Slowly,” he instructed as he reached for the bag. He kept an arm locked around you as he retrieved a small, white cardboard box. He ripped it open with his teeth, unwilling to let you go even for a second.

“There we go,” he said softly as your breathing returned to normal. He adjusted you in his lap, turning you just so and firmly pressed a gauze pad to your throat. He held it in place as he leaned down and let his lips brush gently across your forehead. “I’m so sorry, bellezza. This is all my fault.”

“Yeah, you really fucked up by falling on that poisoned-tipped dagger,” you grumbled.

“It was a bowie knife, mia cara. Feels different.”

“You make a habit of getting stabbed?”

“Once or twice,” he replied dismissively. “But that is a story for another time. I should have been here when you woke up.”

“It’s fine—”

“Bellezza, this pain,” he paused to flex his fingers around the gauze. “That is your bite reopening. You have to be more careful. You are, eh, delicate while you’re healing.”

“Great,” you groaned. “Nothing I love more than feeling delicate.”

“I promise it’s not forever, cara. But you might be a little more…eh, it’s not just a physical weakness, you’ll feel. You will probably feel quite emotional too. But that’s nothing a little chocolate can’t fix,” he adds with a nervous laugh.

“If you’re saying what I think you’re saying, I will kill you in your sleep.”

“Cocoa is good for your brain, tesorino.” He shook his head. “And I thought you were done trying to kill me, hmm?”

“I guess,” you managed through a yawn.

He dropped another kiss on your forehead before he slid you from his lap. He brought your hand to your neck, your fingers replacing his so he could tear through that silly delivery bag with reckless abandon. Piece by piece he revealed his truck stop haul. Somehow, he had been able to find things you hadn’t even thought of.

He knelt in front of you and gently helped you lift your hand and the bloody gauze away. Biting his lip in concentration, he leaned in to replace the bandage and secured it with a healthy amount of medical tape around the edges. When he was satisfied, he slipped his arms under you and shifted your body back against the pile of pillows you had made for him. With a smug grin he finally handed you a heavy chocolate bar in the fanciest wrapper you’d ever seen.

“The hell is this?”

“Chocolate?”

“Uh-huh. And where did it come from?”

“Ah,” he sang and bit into a chocolate bar of his own. “Would you like to hear about my day, bellezza?”

You tried to stay calm. “Please, please tell me you didn’t use your credit cards.”

“You worry too much.” He planted a patronizing kiss on the top of your head. “But, no, I did not use the credit cards. After I was restored, I took a little walk around the area. I knew you would need to rest and to eat and that you’d need bandages and probably a couple of good excuses, so I wandered into the little shop with the horrible ‘spaghetti.’” He paused to make a disgusted face, a shiver going through his body. “And do you know what I found?”

“Your flair for the dramatic?”

“I’d have to lose it first,” he teased and raised an eyebrow at you. “I found a very helpful young man—well, I say young, but I believe he said he was about 200—”

“Terzo? Did you befriend another werewolf?”

“What? No, I—are you going to let me tell my story, cara?” he huffed.

You lazily mimed zipping your mouth shut.

“Grazie mille. Where was I? Oh! The helpful young vampire let me borrow some scissors for the t-shirt and taught me how to use something called an app. From his phone, don’t worry. Bellezza, did you know you can just…have food brought to you?”

You bit your tongue as his face lit up and he presented you with an insane amount of takeout containers.

“I wasn’t sure what you might want when you woke up, but, eh, Robert said that wasn’t really an issue around here. So, there’s a little bit of everything I could find, plus the chocolate bars.”

“Terzo?”

“I didn’t use cards. I—”

“Thank you,” you whispered as tears spilled down your face again.

He shot you a worried look as you began to weep openly. “Cara, you…you said we had to keep saving each other.”

You nodded. “I did say that.”

“Well, it was my turn. And I am not nursing you back to health with salt and those disgusting energy drinks Omega is addicted to, ok? Not for mia principessa.”

He settled next to you on the bed and flipped through the TV as you ate small bites from the container than smelled the best. It wasn’t the same pain, but swallowing your food hadn’t felt great and you were growing tired fast. He let you rest against his shoulder, eyelids drooping as you began to drift. He made a tiny, happy sound as he found a channel that featured men on skates.

“Bellezza, look! This is the one you like, sì? The violence?”

You cuddled closer to him, warming yourself with the heat of his body as you glanced at the TV. There was a singular man gliding beautifully over the ice before pushing off into a jump. “This is men’s figure skating.”

“Oh. It’s not the same?”

You shook your head as you leaned up and kissed him on the cheek. “But I like this too.”

-x-

Morning arrived too quickly with a harsh light that cracked through the edge of the dingy curtains and revealed just how much dust was floating around that tiny motel room. Terzo held you as close as possible, the rough blankets tangled around his hips and yours, almost tying the two of you together. He had draped himself over you sometime last night between a sleepy discussion of the differences of technical and artistic scoring and deciding when the two of you should plan to leave for Primo’s house. You were too exhausted to argue for your own space in the bed, much less your own plans for moving forward. So, you pressed into his side, accepting the comfort of him and fell asleep in his arms.

It was beginning to feel natural somehow, like waking up next to Terzo Emeritus was just something you did every day. Part of a routine that should have worried you or even scared you, but it just…didn’t. There was no real way to explain it to yourself. As much as the rational, trained vampire hunter part of you had never, ever imagined anything like this would happen to you it didn’t feel wrong. Your only worry was the dull throb of the bite wound pulsing in your neck.

You shifted around, trying to lessen the pressure on the spot. His hold on you tightened with a tired whine and a whispered “don’t” falling from his lips.

“We should get up,” you suggested.

“Not yet, mia principessa. Please?”

There was something about the way he said it, something in the tone that made the air leave your lungs. But this time it felt different—his words didn’t frighten you, didn’t carry a weight that you couldn’t understand. There was no desire to run and hide, no itch under your skin that begged you to push him away. The voice in your head that usually screamed these kinds of things were wrong and too much was silent for once. You were content where you were, happy to lay next to him even if he didn’t give you any room. Almost as though you wanted to be there.

With a yawn, you agreed to let him sleep a little longer.

An hour later he finally dragged himself to a seated position, dramatically stretching and grunting in a way you’d come to expect. He resigned himself to getting dressed, pausing to not so subtly watch you move through the room as you went to shower and change into the novelty “Roadkill Café” t-shirt he’d bought for you while you were passed out. You brushed your teeth together, each of you eyeing the other in the mirror with curiosity and shy smiles.

There was something so normal about the whole thing. Tiny moments of domesticity and the sweetness of a simple touch. The idiot had even kissed you while globs of toothpaste foamed around his mouth, leaving a trail of mint and spit on your cheek. It allowed you to forget the rest of the world, to forget that outside this room people were actively trying to kill both of you. With that thought, the spell was broken, and you began to pick at your cuticles while he busied himself with the mass of food containers he brought back.

“You ok, bellezza?” he asked carefully, but he couldn’t mask the concern on his face.

You forced a smile and stood, shoving your hands into your pockets. “Just ready to get going, I guess.”

He brought a hand to your face, softly caressing your cheek before turning it over to press the back to your forehead. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m fine. I just…I think we’re stayed here way too long.”

“We didn’t really have a choice.”

“No, but we should get going before someone figures out where we are—or where we’re going.”

He gave you an easy shrug. “I’ll drive.”

You stifled a laugh. “You?”

“Bellezza, you wound me. It may have been a while, but I am perfectly capable of operating a car.”

“You opened the sunroof in the rain.”

“True, but that has nothing to do with driving.”

“Go on then.”

He did not remember how to drive. After a few panic inducing laps around the parking lot, Terzo grew more comfortable behind the wheel while you adjusted your seatbelt every ten seconds to make sure it was still secure. The interstate was a mostly deserted straight shot and after about 50 miles you let yourself begin to worry about something else.

You would never say it out loud, but the closer you got to Primo’s house the more your nerves grew. You had spent your entire life researching the Emeritus vampires, seeking out whatever weaknesses one could find to exploit to destroy them. A lifetime built on tearing their lives apart piece by tiny piece had also instilled a healthy fear and respect for the eldest brother.

There was a reason no one went after Primo.

If the last few weeks had taught you anything, it was that you knew nothing. You couldn’t begin to understand the ins and outs of vampire politics during your training. There was a system designed in the shadows and kept secret from those who would hunt them down. No one had ever gotten close enough to figure out exactly how it all worked—at least no one who made it back alive. But the vampires had made it very clear throughout the last century especially that there was one vampire at the head of the table: Primo Emeritus.

It was a name many vampires had chosen to die for rather than betray and you couldn’t help wondering what it was all for.

Somewhere past a washed out exit sign, Terzo turned onto a desolate back road long neglected by the county. The strip of faded asphalt was scarred with deep cracks and potholes overrun by weeds and grass, cutting its way through fields on either side that seemed to stretch past the horizon. Decrepit, abandoned homes occasionally dotted the countryside. Glass shards hung from rotting windowpanes like broken teeth below collapsed roofs and sagging bricks. It was a graveyard of a forgotten community, a place where nothing but underbrush seemed to thrive.

“Terzo, are you sure you’re going the right way?” you asked as your stomach tied itself into a million knots. It didn’t look like anyone would be out here—living or dead.

“Oh yes, principessa. Trust me.”

It would have been a lot easier to do if it didn’t look like the kind of backdrop even horror movies avoided.

He slowed the car and guided it to the left at a broken stone marker. A barely noticeable overgrown gravel drive slipped between the trees, framed by an old iron gate left open and consumed by rust. An elaborate decorative E on the gate was held in place by little more than patina.

“Told you,” Terzo teased as he pointed at the gate. He across the console to place a hand on your knee and gave it a comforting squeeze. “There’s no reason to be scared, bellezza. I won’t let anything happen to you.”

That only made your heartbeat faster.  

At the crest of a small hill, a house came into view. Unlike the other homes you had passed on the way in this one was quite clearly lived in and loved. The stone façade of the storybook cottage was completely covered in thick greenery and climbing roses, reclaimed by its surroundings. The limbs and leaves had been trimmed away from the rounded windows, each of them left open to let the summer breeze pass through. A scene of delicate flowers made from colorful stained glass hung in the frame of the old oak door—a burst of brightness that set a clear division between the owner of this home and the one who’d built Meliora house.

Terzo parked close to the house, stopping behind a sleek black classic car. Something from the 50’s you guessed. The shine and smooth shapes of the vintage Cadillac made Terzo’s modern machine look like a dumpy toaster in comparison.

There was a flash of movement past the front window as the two of you climbed out of the car. You took the opportunity to stretch your legs, pacing a short length of driveway while Terzo stared up at the house with his hands on his hips. It was eerily quiet, save for the gravel crunching under your feet and the billions of insects singing in the woods. The sun broke through the surrounding trees and showered beams of light over the neat rows of flowers that lined a stone wall. Vibrant hues and shapes buzzed with fat little honeybees happily jumping from bloom to bloom. You couldn’t help but think of this place as some beautiful timeless utopia, somehow untouched by all the decay and abandonment of the surrounding area.

Vampires always lived in the weirdest places.

A tall, older gentleman emerged from the front door and stepped outside with a commanding, regal presence. He didn’t even need to open his mouth to cause the two of you to stop in your tracks and look up at him. Crooked black lines cut his face into the signature skull mask the brothers all wore. The jagged shape of it did nothing to soften his appearance. His eyes, mismatched just like Terzo’s, scanned the lawn and squinted down at you. A deep red robe made of what had to be silk hung off his shoulders, framing him like a holy man in designer vestments. While his look exuded power above anything, there was still the frail body of an elderly man staring back at you.

“Primo!” Terzo shouted a little too loudly. “You look like shit.”

Primo narrowed his eyes at the younger man. “What does your shirt say?”

Terzo shot you a nasty look as you clasped your hands over your mouth to cover your laughter. “It’s, eh, a little joke between the two of us,” he explained with a wave of his hand. “This one thinks she’s funny.”

Primo took a long look at both of you before he stepped to the side with a sigh. “You might as well come in.”

The smell of fresh eucalyptus and mint wafted through the air as you stepped inside the vampire’s home. Worn, old boards creaked beneath your feet as Primo led you to the main living room. The house was filled with warm wood carved into intricate shapes that framed each doorway and the numerous bookcases nestled inside the walls. There was a cozy nook built under the front window, an old volume left open atop a soft blanket. Shelves held a carefully placed collection of antiques, old dry leather bound books with ancient pages, and rusted old trinkets and tools. An expensive telescope was pointed toward a south-facing window surrounded by two thriving palms plants. Meliora House had been filled with things no one ever used, but Primo’s things seemed to serve a purpose.

Terzo flung himself unceremoniously onto the vintage velvet sofa against the wall, ignoring the cracking sound it made and the pointed look his brother gave him.

“Well then, what have you done this time?” Primo asked in an accusing tone, his white hair falling over his shoulders as he angled himself between the two of you.

“Oh, what I can’t stop by to say hello?”

Primo pinched the bridge of his nose. “Fratellino, you have done many—and I do mean many stupid things in your lifetimes, but I had never dared to hope you wouldn’t bring a hunter to my door.”

You swallowed hard as Terzo began to fidget nervously. “She’s, eh…” he started, waving a hand as he looked at you. “You could say she’s had a change of heart.”

“Is that so?” he asked, eyeing you curiously.

“I managed to get here without killing him,” you offered.

Primo laughed loudly, his voice echoing off the support beams above. “That is a true challenge indeed!” he hollered and slapped his knee. As his laughter died down, he turned and gave you a soft, genuine smile. He offered his hand. “Come with me, piccolina.”

“Hey!” Terzo shouted as you accepted Primo’s hand. “What about me?”

Primo shrugged. “Go fix your face, stronzio.”

“Testa di cazzo,” he grumbled and made a rude gesture as he stalked off toward the back of the house.

The old vampire kept your hand in his, gently leading you through his home as gracefully as he would have led you through a waltz. You had seen and fell prey to Terzo’s charms immediately, but it was becoming clear where he’d learned it all. Primo didn’t seem to waste words or time, unafraid to call out his younger brother’s missteps or identify you for what you were. It was clear he was not threatened by you—you never would have made it into the house if that was the case, but he had made a strategic move to separate you from Terzo. His brother had sensed it too.

At the edge of the cottage was a small kitchen lined with open shelves and cabinets with glass doors. Each one was absolutely packed with jars of all sizes and filled with various herbs and tinctures in nearly as many colors as the stained glass window above the sink. There was a faint scent of incense, something woody yet soft with a hint of smoke and clove that made the space feel impossibly cozy.

A vase of fresh cut flowers sat on a small table in the center of the room, its chairs tucked neatly in place. He pulled one out for you and gestured for you to take a seat.

“Are you hungry, piccolina?” he asked instead of joining you at the table.

“Oh no, I’m fine,” you lied as your stomach growled and gave you away.

He laughed heartily, flashing sharp fangs as he swiped a hand under his wrinkled eye. “I’m afraid it is not very easy to lie to me.”

“I’m sorry. I was just trying to be polite.”

He tilted his head, another soft, fond smile gracing his lips. “He’s marked you.”

“What?” you snapped, your hand going straight to your bandage as you nearly jumped from your chair. “How did you—”

“Piccolina, please sit. Neither of you are in trouble. Would you care for some tea?”

“I—uh—"

He turned without waiting for an answer and busied himself with filling a kettle at the sink. He hummed as he moved, settling the kettle on the stove before poking through the pots and pans that hung just above. He was going to far too much trouble for you, but you weren’t exactly sure how to protest the manners of such a powerful vampire. You barely made it through three sips of tea before your eyelids grew heavy and you folded your arms to rest your head on the table. He continued to clamor around the kitchen as you watched sleepily, his hum turning to a soft whistle as you dozed off.

The smell of fresh tomatoes and basil began to make your stomach growl again, loud enough that it woke you from your nap. It took you a moment to remember where you were as you looked at the pots bubbling away on the stove and the patterned tile of the floor around you. Mrs. G was the only person you knew who could cook and this certainly wasn’t her apartment.

“Primo?” a soft voice called from the side door. “I’ve got your groceries.”

You heard Primo quickly sweep through the house behind you, that fancy robe billowing as he rushed to greet her. “Ah, diavolina! I didn’t expect you today.”

“I’m sorry. I had something come up and I needed to make the delivery early. I should have called or something. I didn’t expect you to have company.”

“It was a surprise to me as well, diavolina,” he said with a laugh.

You leaned back in your chair trying to peer around the corner, but you were unable to see who he was talking to. You strained your ears to make out the rest of their muffled conversation before reminding yourself that it was really none of your business. After a moment, they exchanged goodbyes and Primo returned to the kitchen.

“Everything ok, piccolina? How was your nap?”

“Oh, I’m fine really. I’ve just been so tired since—uh—”

He nodded. “That is a common side effect, but this should help.”

Your eyes followed him as he swept back through the kitchen, draining pots and stirring the contents of others. When he finished, he presented you with a dish that was plated so nicely it should have been in a photograph. He doted on you, bringing over anything he thought you might need from extra silverware to pepper before he settled across from you with his own plate. You wondered how long it had been since he had a proper visitor. Even the delivery girl seemed surprised someone else was here.

“You know, for people who don’t need to eat, you guys sure do love food,” you quipped before taking a bite. It was without a doubt the best thing you had ever tasted and you let out an involuntary pleased hum. “Ok, I take it back. I get it now.”

He chuckled softly. “Grazzie mille, piccolina. One could get very bored very quickly if he only allowed himself to eat one thing for eternity.”

“Ah, good point.”

“Piccolina, did you know for as long as there have been vampires, there have been vampire hunters?”

You nervously gripped your fork. “I had been taught that, yes. But I’m learning there are a lot of things that I was taught that might not be…correct.”

He laughed lightly and patted your hand. “I’m afraid that might be our fault as well. Vampire hunters are almost always human and therefore have much shorter live expectancies. Which they then use to fuel your hatred for us, yes? To make monsters out of men like me and Terzo when all we’ve ever done, for centuries mind you, is defend ourselves or the ones we love. Hunters are…shortsighted. They have the luxury of a limited memory, but it forces them to pass their hatred to younger and younger generations. Do you recall many elders from your group?”

“One or two, maybe?” you admitted. “They were always sort of…hidden.”

Primo nodded. “One of the more effective ways we found to protect ourselves was to spread disinformation through the hunters’ network. There may not be much they taught you about us that is actually true.” He cracked a wry smile. “Once for about, eh, fifty years, I had them convinced that we lay eggs to reproduce.”

“And they just…believed you?”

He shrugged. “Hatred makes you blind to many things, piccolina. But also, quite gullible to others.”

“I don’t know that I would ever believe that.”

He raised an eyebrow. “But sunlight, garlic, silver, mirrors…these things are believable to you?”

You sank in your seat. “I see your point.”

He reached across the table and squeezed your hand. “I did not tell you these things to make you feel foolish, piccolina. I imagine it is quite difficult to try to unlearn a lifetime of things in a matter of a few weeks.” He sighed heavily. “It is a shame what they did to Meliora House, but I suppose in a way it helped you at least.”

“What the hell is this?” Terzo bellowed as he appeared and leaned against the doorframe. “Are you trying to steal her from me, old man?” Gone was the sassy little crop top, replaced by a tasteful black dress shirt he had given up buttoning past his navel. His paints were back as well, thick precise lines that gave him an edge of seriousness you weren’t used to.

“Well, it would certainly teach you a lesson about trying to steal your brothers’ wives—” Primo noted, pointing his fork at his brother. He reached over with his other hand to pat you on the back, his accusation causing you to choke on your food. “Hmm, looks like the two of you need to have a conversation about your past now that you belong to one another.”

“Oh no, that’s not really what we’re doing,” you added nervously. “He just needed help.”

He pinned you with a concerned look before turning back to his brother. “Terzo…”

He held up his hands in surrender. “Don’t look at me. I explained the whole thing before it happened—”

“And he was, you know, dying,” you added.

“I was not!”

“Well, you looked like a corpse.”

“Piccolina, I do appreciate your willingness to not let Terzo die.” He stood and moved closer to you to gently ask his next question. “But do you really not understand what the two of you have done?”

“Is it really that serious?”

“You explained nothing, idiota!” Primo barked as he crossed the room to smack the back of Terzo’s head.

“Yes, I did!” he shot back, ducking out of his brother’s reach as he tried to hit him again. “It’s not my fault that she’s so—”

“So what, Terzo?” you interrupted.

“Stubborn! Ai!” he howled as you pinched him. “Both of you fuck off!”

Primo narrowed his eyes at his brother, the white one almost glowing with anger. He spoke in quick, clipped Italian phrases, each one punctuated by another slap to any part of Terzo’s body he could get to. It went on for several minutes with Terzo covering his face to protect it from the blows as he snapped back in what you assumed was equally aggressive language. The last phrase he spat out was a step too far and Primo growled as he hauled Terzo up by the collar, his feet kicking desperately as his brother lifted him and dragged him to the side door. He tossed him out with no effort, the frail appearance of his body betraying his true strength.

There was an aura of anger hanging over him, a cloud of unhealthy rage that only seemed to dissipate after he threw his plate at the wall. When he turned back to you there was nothing but kindness in his eyes and an apology for his actions on his lips. He regarded you with a soft, gentile expression, almost like he wished he could explain everything and apologize for Terzo himself. You had no idea what they had screamed at each other, but the look he gave you—the pity—suggested that his younger brother had massively fucked up.

“Did he tell you, piccolina? About the mark?” he asked quietly, averting his gaze.

“Um…”

“What he said is important. Do you remember it?”

You nodded and swallowed hard. “He said that there’s a…bond that would form between us and that no one else could touch me.”

“Did he tell you why?” he asked as he knelt in front of you.

You shook your head. “He just…he said I was different?”

His shoulders sagged as he sighed heavily. “It’s true, piccolina. You are different to him. The mark…the bond it creates…it’s…” he trailed off and sucked down an uneasy breath before taking your hands in his. “It is an act of love, piccolina,” he explained quietly. “A sign of devotion.”

“I-I don’t—"

His face softened. “It’s not such an easy thing to explain, I imagine. Our existence is…well lucky for you it was something you were already aware of, but as I said there is a lot that humans still don’t understand about us. I am sure that’s not an easy thing to hear either. But the two of you…are bound together.”

“Yeah, that’s what he said.”

Primo sighed and glanced out the window. “Mio fratellino is…shall we say, complicated. He has always worn his heart on his sleeve—used to drive our father insane. A free spirit like that is much harder to control, you see? But now it seems he has finally met his match. His heart belongs to you.”

“I get what you’re saying but that…that—that can’t be right. He—”

“It is what the mark means, piccolina. It’s an act of love because it is love.”

“But…he…I…are you saying that he’s—he’s in lo—” You swallowed the rest of the word, wanting to choke on it as the sharp edges scraped down your throat.

“I cannot speak for him, but I suspect he has spent a very long time trying to feel anything but this. Possibly longer than you can comprehend. I’m in no position to ask any favors, but please, if you could, be careful with him, eh? You are his heart now.”

“That…that’s not possible—”

“And yet it is,” he said, groaning as he stood, his joints popping loudly. “You realize he wouldn’t bring just anybody to this place, piccolina. But he brought you.”

“Why would he—”

“You’ll have to ask him, I’m afraid. I suspect he’ll be hiding somewhere out in the gardens as usual,” he said as he pointed to an empty space between hedges.

On shaking legs, you pushed yourself up and made your way to the side door. Your head spun, overloaded with a pressure that made you dizzy.

“Primo?” you asked.

“Yes, piccolina?”

“What did you say to him?”

He cracked a smile. “Just gave him some brotherly advice.”

You nodded and pushed your way out of the cottage. A small stone path overgrown with bright green moss led away from the house and past a large, glass-domed conservatory filled with plants and flowers. The break in the hedge revealed a private garden completely hidden from view by the surrounding foliage. The most beautiful flowers sprouted from every direction lit by tiny lanterns and lights that had been fixed to the arches above. The plants had been encouraged to grow up and over the opening, like the space was just part of the landscape. It was clear that Primo had spent a lot of time and effort to build this space and you found yourself remembering the lush gardens of Meliora House. Had he designed those too?

There was so much you didn’t know about Terzo and his life. About his brothers and how they grew up and came to be what they are. So many things were a mystery to you and yet somehow, he had seen through all your ignorance and found something about you that he could no longer deny—even if he wanted to. It was on you now, his feelings woven into your skin—into your blood, your cells. Words he hadn’t said were spreading within you like an infection, an illness with a countdown clock ticking away to your death. Until the end of your natural life, he had said. How could he even know he would feel this longer than five minutes?

At the end of the path, Terzo stood facing away from you. His attention was focused solely on the rose bush in front of him. You called his name softly, your chest tightening when he didn’t move, though you both knew he’d heard you. It hit you hard as you stared at the back of him, his shoulders no longer holding that poise or confidence he had carried over the last few days. He looked so small, like he had when you’d first arrived at his house, that melancholy version of himself that wanted nothing to do with anyone.

Why hadn’t he told you what it all meant? Why didn’t he tell you the importance of the decision you made for the two of you? Why the fuck would he not look at you now? And why did it hurt so fucking much?

“Why didn’t you tell me?” you asked. Your voice sounded so far away. 

“Tell you what?” he asked. He still refused to look at you, not even a sideways glance. The face paint masked his expressions, but it was easy to tell he was in pain. 

He focused on picking at an invisible hair on his pants, anything to keep his eyes down and his face forward. It hurt to look at him, to see him look so beautiful standing there despite his current attitude. You wished you could keep this moment, to capture him on film or in swirls of oil paints on a canvas grand enough to hold his image. But you couldn’t tell him. You couldn’t say much of anything.

Tears stung your eyes as he plucked a perfect rose from the bush and started slowly twisting it in his fingers. He barely winced as the thorns caught his fingers, drawing his blood in a way that felt ugly. You had seen him like this before, that night you found him singing in the garden. You’d meant to kill him and now all you wanted was for him to look at you.

“Terzo?” you tried again.

“Would you like me to apologize?” he asked coldly and finally turned to look at you.

“No. I just—Primo told me—”

“I don’t care what he told you, bellezza. He’s a lonely old fool,” he spat. “And you—why, why is it different now that he said it, huh?” He pointed at himself. “I told you. I told you the cost and what it meant, and it was still nothing to you.”

“I didn’t know. I-I didn’t understand—”

“Understand what?” he shouted.

“That you are in love with me!” you yelled back. “How was I supposed to know what it meant, Terzo? Do you think I would have said any of those things if I had known?”

With that the dam broke and you collapsed on the lawn in a sad, lifeless heap. You had never cried so hard in your entire life, and you hoped you never would again. There was so much pain and confusion in every ragged breath, and it burned through every part of you, rolling like hot smoke in your lungs as you clutched at the grass. Your chest heaved, but every attempt to get even the smallest amount of oxygen failed miserably. Terzo appeared at your side and god how you wanted to fight him off as he pulled you to his chest, but you just felt so small without him. 

“I’m so sorry bellezza,” he whispered into your ear and held you tight. “I’ve lived so long, and I still don’t know how to be a better man.”

“Just be a fucking vampire then,” you mumbled back.

“I’m not so sure I’m good at that either.”

“Then why the hell are we doing this, huh? Why should I keep saving your life?”

“Oh bellezza,” he sighed. He dragged you into his lap and kissed the top of your head. “Because you like me.”

“Ugh,” you groaned. “No, I don’t.”

“It doesn’t have to change things,” he offered quietly. “I don’t want you to change.”

You shifted away, angling yourself so you could look into his eyes. “Terzo, I—”

He pressed a finger to your lips. “You’re right, I should have told you. And you deserve to hear it, but it’s…it’s not nearly as easy as they make it look in those films.”

“Terzo, it’s ok—”

He cut you off with your name and a serious look as he ran a hand over the bandage on your neck. “This marks you because I love you, bellezza. It doesn’t say that you are mine. It says that I am yours.” He took your hand and placed it over his heart. “This is yours, cuore mio.”

You crashed into him, the two of you falling onto the grass as you kissed him desperately. There were things you could say, answers to questions he didn’t ask, but for the first time in your life you believed someone could love you. Not only could he love you, but he did. He loved you despite the cost to himself and the danger it put you both in. You melted into him, giving him the breath from your lungs and the blood in your veins. Yeah, he was yours, but you were his too. Even if you couldn’t say it out loud, it was in that wound on your neck, a scar you’d bear for the rest of your life.

Terzo was quick to pull you from the grass and back inside Primo’s. His mouth never left yours as he guided you to the little guest room at the back of the house. His t-shirt was still on the floor and the paints were left open in front of the vanity, but he was only focused on adding your clothes to the pile as he urged you toward the bed. His hair fell over his face as he leaned over you, dipping his head to trail hot kisses over the column of your throat and down your bare chest, leaving smears of black and white in his wake. He pushed your thighs apart as he kissed his way across your body, stopping short to lock eyes with you as he reached your sex.

You grabbed a fistful of his hair, tugging roughly as his plush lips connected to your center. Teasingly, he ran his tongue through your folds and around your clit, moaning each time your hips left the bed. He pushed his fingers against your entrance, wanting to feel the effect he had on you. He told you as much as he pulled off your cunt to watch you stretch around his fingers as they disappeared inside you. The heel of his palm added pressure to your center as he moved up to kiss you. He pumped his fingers faster, smiling as you moaned into his mouth.

“So beautiful like this, principessa,” he whispered against your skin as your hips bucked against his hand. “Cosi bella.”

“You are,” you countered breathlessly.

He just smiled and pulled his hand away as he rolled onto the bed. “Come here,” he said, motioning with the fingers that were still wet with your slick. You gave him a puzzled look as you tried to straddle him, but he shifted until your knees were positioned on either side of his head.

“I want you like this,” he growled as he grabbed ahold of your hips and pulled you down to him.

His tongue was exploring your entrance as his nose bumped against your clit and you searched for anything you could hold onto. Your hands found his hair, gripping tight as he worked you over like it was the only thing he has ever wanted to do. Like he was trying to give you something no one else ever could. It was too much, too good, but he was too strong to let you get away easily. He dug his fingers into your hips he urged you toward your end. It washed over you, each nerve of your body exploding into little fireworks as your body tensed and you came with a shout, completely forgetting you were a guest in someone else’s home.

He grinned up at you, his face paint smeared away from his mouth and spread across the inside of your thighs.

You smiled back at him, moving further down on the bed so you could claim his lips with your own, needing to taste yourself in his mouth, needing him to know. He reached for you, but you knocked his hands away and pinned his wrists to the mattress with one hand as the other worked at the buttons of his shirt. It fell away from his chest, revealing a jagged mark where that stupid poisoned knife had pierced him.

You traced a finger over the silvery scar, feeling along the soft ridge where his pale skin had pulled itself back together. His eyes shut tight as you leaned down to plant kisses on the spot, trailing a wordless apology over his chest. A tiny whimper caught in the back of his throat as he bit his lip bloody, but you kept your touches light. You drew your lips over every inch of skin, kissing every freckle and scar, each sign that he had lived that marred his chest. You didn’t know where the others had come from, but it didn’t matter. There were several lifetimes worth of stories he could tell you when he wanted to and you’d commit each one to memory just as you would the matching scars.

He was coming apart beneath you, face twisted in pleasure and pain. You wondered why he’d never let anyone see him like this when he looked so beautiful. You toyed with the bar in his nipple, drinking in the sight of him frantically turning his head to bite at the sheets in a desperate attempt to ground himself. Was this what you had looked like to him?

His cock was straining against his pants by the time you reached his waistband, but you were in no real hurry. You freed him slowly, appreciating the length and weight of his cock as it curved up toward his belly. You licked the slit, almost purring at the noise that came out of him as you collected that little pearl of pre that had gathered at the tip.

His eyes were set on you as you lowered your head, taking more of him into your mouth. The two of you had fucked and he had even let you use him to fuck yourself, but this was the first time you were really seeing him unravel. There was something sweet about the moan that rumbled in his chest as he hit the back of your throat, like the sound he’d made when your blood filled his mouth. A noise that was a confession, a pure and complete desire to give yourself over to someone, to have them accept such a gift.

“Terzo?” you asked softly and wrapped your fist around him to make up for the loss of your mouth.

“Hmm?” he replied, eyes barely open.

“Do you…want to…”

“Want to what, cuore mio?”

“Would you…bite me again?” He kept his face blank, but his cock twitched in your hand. “You don’t have to. I just thought…maybe…”

“Are you asking because you want me to? Or are you asking because you think that’s what I want?”

“I’m asking because I want to know what it feels like,” you answered as you squeezed the base of his cock.

He groaned under you. “Amore, I would do whatever you asked.”

“Hmm, I’m going to have to remember that,” you said with a smile as you climbed back up his body. You pressed your lips to his as you reached between you and guided his cock through your slick, both of you moaning loudly as he bumped against your clit. You lined him up with your entrance, sinking slowly as he stretched you. It hadn’t even been that long, but you realized how much you missed the feeling of him, how perfectly the two of you seemed to fit together. He waited for your signal, watching you intently as you feel him press against your walls before canting his hips and reaching an impossible angle. You go slow at first, both of you content in the heat of each other, but it didn’t take long for him to make you beg for something more. You held onto him for dear life as he fucked up into so hard you couldn’t even form the words to tell him the second time you came.

“So fucking beautiful,” he said again, punctuating each thrust with the words. “Can you do it again, huh? Think you can give me one more?”

You nodded, trying to meet his thrusts to shut him up but let out a yelp as he turned and pinned you down.

“Are you sure?” he asked, running his nose along your throat.

“Yes.”

You felt a pinch as his teeth cut into your neck. Blood pumped from the wound, spilling a little more with each heartbeat. Terzo closed his mouth over the bite and let out a low, filthy moan as the taste washed over his tongue. He slammed into you as he drank, an animalistic drive taking over with a growl.

You whimpered beneath him, overcome with too many sensations as he took long pulls from your throat. The sound seemed to drag him back to himself, catching him before he went too far. He slowed his pace as off your neck and licked your blood from his teeth, staring down at the space where your bodies connected. He pushed your knees apart and thrust deep, grinning at the sound he pulled from you. His fingers swirled around your clit as he fucked you faster and harder until you choked out a broken cry, your third orgasm ripping through you. There was praise mumbled into your ear, a lot of talk about how beautiful you were and how good you felt around him, but all you could do was shake through the aftershocks as his hips stuttered. He came with a loud grunt, spilling impossibly deep inside you as he fucked each hot pulse into you.

He collapsed on top of you, gasping for breath as he pressed his sweaty forehead against your shoulder. “I knew it,” he panted between labored breaths. “You are still trying to kill me.”

You laughed and kissed him on the cheek. “You can live forever if you’re going to keep fucking me like that.”

“That could be arranged.”

“Shut up,” you managed through a giggle.

“Stay put, bellezza,” he ordered and kissed your shoulder before pulling away from you.

You gave him a thumbs up as he rounded the bed and disappeared into the en suite bathroom. A few seconds later he emerged with some wet cloths and sat next to you as the shower ran in the other room. Gently, he swiped around the wound at your neck, cleaning away as much blood as he could without causing you too much discomfort. He frowned at his handiwork, his expression made that much funnier by the smeared and smudged lines around his mouth.

“You’re going to need more bandages.” There was a hint of disappointment in his tone, almost guilty.

“Hey, I asked for this,” you reminded him.

He swallowed hard. “Let’s get you cleaned up.”

It was difficult for the two of you to arrange yourselves in the tiny clawfoot tub, but Terzo made sure to take care of you in whatever way he could. He washed the rest of the blood away from your neck with such a delicate hand as he lathered a lavender scented soap over your skin. He rubbed your shoulders, working his way through the knots that had returned over the last few days, teasing you as you whimpered with relief. When you finished, he carried you back into the bedroom and placed you on the bed. He crawled in next to you and pulled you close as he shut his eyes. The afternoon sun still hung high in the sky sending daylight through the curtains behind the bed.

“Are you tired?” you teased.

“Are you not?”

“I could use a nap I guess.”

“Bene. How is your neck? Will those bandages hold?”

“As long as we’re careful, I think we’ll be fine.” You turned to look at him. There was a question hanging over the two of you, something you weren’t quite sure how to ask. But if Primo was right and everything you had been taught about vampires was incorrect then you had to start somewhere. “Is…is that how you…”

“Hmm?”

“Did someone…do this to you? To make you like this?”

He blinked at you. “Did—did I get bitten, you mean?”

“I’m sorry. That’s…that’s way too personal. Forget I said anything—”

“Bellezza,” he started softly, “that is a very, very long story about something that happened a long, long time ago. And I will tell you every detail if you wish to hear it, but you won’t turn from a bite, cuore mio. There is more to it than that.”

“Like what?”

“Well…dying was a pretty big part of it,” he replied with a shrug.

“Does it hurt?”

He gave you a tight smile and tucked your hair behind your ear. “I told you I would never hurt you.”

“I’m not asking you to. I’m just…curious, I guess.”

“It…dying didn’t feel good,” he explained cautiously. “Not to me, at least. There was no peace in it at all.”

“I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have asked. God, I don’t know what is wrong with me.”

“Shh, bellezza. It’s ok. I wouldn’t have answered if I didn’t want to. Can I…can I ask you something?”

You nodded sleepily. “I think that’s only fair.”

“What would you do with it?”

“With what?”

“Eternal life.”

“I don’t know, honestly. I…I don’t know that I’d be able to accept it.”

He smiled softly. “That’s a good answer, cara.”

“You’re not…disappointed?”

“Amore mio, immortality is an impossible thing to imagine. The concept of forever is hard enough to grasp when life is limited but even I sometimes have trouble considering the infinite. I will never be disappointed in you for having an honest reaction to such a notion.”

“You’re wrong, you know? About not being a good man. I think you’re doing just fine.”

“I knew you liked me.”

You rolled your eyes and reached up to grab a pillow to hit him with, but before you could bring it down on him, he had gone cold. His dull, lifeless eyes stared back at you as you let out a horrible scream. You shook him hard, trying desperately to get him to respond as you shouted repeatedly for help.

Primo crashed through the door with lightning speed, nearly knocking you over as he landed at Terzo’s side. He ordered you to stay put before he disappeared and reappeared almost too quickly for you to notice. It made your head hurt to try to watch him move in such a way, but you were grateful that he was fast enough to help. He poured something into Terzo’s mouth before stuffing it full of odd leaves and holding it shut. Terzo began to convulse, a thick foam dribbling out of his mouth and over Primo’s hands.

“Give me your hand,” he ordered.

You did as he asked without question, your face blank as he pricked your finger and squeezed a drop of your blood into Terzo’s mouth.

“What’s happening to him?”

“It’s ok, piccolina,” Primo said softly. “He’s been poisoned by something strong.”

“Is he—”

“No!” he snapped. He reeled when you cowered away from him and shook his head. “No, piccolina. I won’t let that happen to him. You won’t let that happen to him.”

Terzo groaned weakly as his eyes fluttered open. “What happened?” he asked, his words garbled by the herbs and foam. “Ugh what did you do?”

“Saved your stupid life,” Primo growled. “At least for now. Why didn’t you tell me? How long has this been happening?”

He shrugged. “I had it handled.”

“You most certainly do not,” Primo scolded.

“I’m here aren’t I?” he snapped back.

You couldn’t hold back the awful cry that burned in your throat as you realized he knew something was wrong. You shoved him as tears poured from your eyes, striking him repeatedly as hard as you could until Primo finally had to restrain you. “Why didn’t you tell me?” you screamed as you fought against Primo’s hold. “Did you know the whole time?”

Terzo looked up at you with a helpless expression. “I—I didn’t want you to worry.”

“Oh fratellino,” Primo sighed as he shrugged off his robe and draped it over your shoulders. “Try not to hurt him while I’m gone, eh?”

“I make no promises,” you replied through gritted teeth.

“Works for me,” he said and patted the top of your head before he left the room.

Terzo groaned as he pushed himself up. “Bellezza?”

You shook your head. “Were you just…going to let yourself die? Was that really a choice you considered over…telling me the truth?”

“I didn’t want you to hate me for telling you. For a moment, death seemed easier to deal with and that’s how I knew it was true. I knew then that I’m in love with you. I’m sorry for that, bellezza. I wish this all could have happened a million other ways. But I thought after all that after you offered to save me, that after I marked you, it would all be ok. It wasn’t until this morning that I knew for sure that I needed more help. And I should have told you, but you’ve been carrying so much this whole time that I couldn’t put another thing on you. At least not while you were still weak.”

“Can he cure you?” you asked, dodging his confession.

“He is the only man I’d trust with the job.”

You nodded once. “Don’t ever hide anything from me ever again.”

Thank you so much for reading and all your likes, reblogs and comments 💜 The next chapter will be the end of vampire Terzo's story, but some familiar faces will return as well. 💜💜💜

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microdosing on self love by projecting my insecurities onto fictional characters and loving them