This Little Asshole Keeps Getting Into A Bird Feeder, So We Need To Test How Small Is *too* Small

Frostbite, Jordan Matter

From a few weeks ago, wearing two dry 24/7s.

Discovering your ABDL partner’s true identity and supporting them to not hide from it.

For some ABDLs, this is just a sexual fetish where they’ll wear once or twice a week for sex and that’s it. However, for the majority, it’s much more than that and you’ll know this if your partner wears a diaper outside of sex-oriented times and especially if they talk about how diapers make them feel better/happier and less stressed/anxious.

Realizing that this was more than just a fetish for my boyfriend was a big turning point for me and I made the decision that I wanted to help him accept and embrace who he was rather than him being ashamed. The mental health improvement for him of me doing this was greater than I could have imagined and is the main driver why I produce this content to try to help others.

The vast majority of ABDLs struggle with the feelings of shame and fears of their secret being discovered which often develop from childhood and their early teenage years. This comes from a general lack of acceptance of non-conformist lifestyles and it’s although it’s something we’re seeing change positively for LGBTQ+ people, widespread acceptance of ABDL is still a while away. This shame causes stress, anxiety, binge/purge cycles, and other mental health issues.

The crazy thing is ABDL is in no way “bad” or “wrong”, they have a preference to wear a different type of underwear which makes them feel better and enjoy not having to use dirty toilets all the time. Some might also like acting younger to destress or like the feeling of being forced to wear/use diapers. But crucially none of this has a negative impact on themselves as they aren’t causing harm to their bodies (unlike alcohol, fast food & drugs do) or harm to others around them. Equally wearing diapers isn’t even at all uncommon in the general population, in most western countries more adult diapers are sold than baby diapers now and it’s estimated that up to 10% of adults are wearing some sort of incontinent product on a daily basis.

I believe strongly that you should treat this as being part of their identity and not something that should be restricted, shamed, or avoided. 

A big challenge for partners though is because of this shame and feeling of guilt your partner is likely hiding some or all of their real identity from you. 

Discovering their true identity

Below are the key and common elements to ABDL identity and hopefully the questions under each section should help you identify which applies to your partner. You might be able to ask these to yourself but also don’t be afraid to directly ask your partner as well.

Diapers

Do they enjoy wearing adult diapers?

Does wearing diapers make them feel safer or more comfortable?

Are they less stressed or anxious when wearing diapers?

If nobody would find out, would they always wear a diaper?

If they’ve answered yes to 2 or more of these then it’s clear that wearing diapers is a key part of their identity.

Diaper usage

Are they happy to wet their diaper at home?

Are they happy to wet their diaper in public?

Are they happy to mess their diaper at home?

Are they happy to mess their diaper in public (as long as nobody is inconvenienced)?

Does the idea of being a bedwetter appeal to them?

Does the idea of being incontinent appeal to them?

These are straightforward but look for signs of hesitation. They might be embarrassed to answer these truthfully, especially the ones about messing so push hard to get an answer and tell they you just want the truth.

Middle Behaviors (4- 12 years old) 

Do they like acting like a child?

Do they enjoy childish activities such as coloring, playing with lego, and watching cartoons?

Do they like to dress in childish clothing such as bright colors & printed t-shirts?

Treat these responses as a way to work out how “middle” they are. Think of this like a spectrum from not a middle at all to they would love to live life as a middle.

Baby Behaviors  (1- 3 years old) 

* Do they often wear baby-themed adult diapers?

* Do they like to wear patterned onesies?

* Do they have or would like to wear other adult baby clothing at home?

* Do they feel more relaxed when sucking on a pacifier?

* If they could choose would they like to drink from bottles or sippy cups?

* Are they able to regress and act like a baby or toddler?

* Do they enjoy watching baby and toddler TV shows?

* Would they like to add AB furniture to our home, like a crib or high chair?

Treat these responses as a way to work out how “baby” they are. Think of this like a spectrum from not having baby tendencies, to they would love to like life as a baby if they could. Most people will be in the middle area of these extremes.

I’d divide this up into 5 levels:

No AB tendencies = answered no to all of the questions

Novice AB = Answered yes to the top two questions and maybe one other question

Intermediate AB =  Answered yes to 4 questions but potentially struggles to regress fully

Experienced AB = Answered yes or potentially to most questions

Full AB = Answered yes to everything

Forced Diapers & Regression

* Do they like the idea of being forced to wear diapers?

* Do they like the idea of being forced to use their diapers?

* Do they like the idea of being forced to be a baby?

* Do they like the idea of being treated as / dressed as a different gender? (e.g. man dressed as a baby girl)

* Do they like the idea of being restrained such as through bondage or locking clothing? 

If they answer yes to a question, ask how often they’d want to feel forced. Is it just occasional or all the the time. It would be quite common for someone to answer they’d like to be forced to wear diapers all the time but only occasionally forced to be a baby.

What’s next?

Asking these questions to yourself or them directly should now give you a good idea of their ABDL identity.

Diaper wearing and usage

Let’s start with the first two sections on diapers and usage. Seeing as you’re reading this I’m sure they answered yes to most of the diaper questions. It’s also likely they like using their diapers for at least wetting.

Given you now know that wearing and using diapers makes them happier you should ask yourself what is stopping them from wearing all the time. The answer is likely a combination of:

* They’re worried you won’t approve

* They feel guilty about having these desires generally

* They feel awkward wearing around you or asking if they can wear 

* They’re worried they’ll be discovered

* They’re in a period of low self-worth after an orgasm

The first three you can solve by actively encouraging them to wear as much as possible, you know this makes them happier and have better mental health so for me at least this was a no-brainer.

The fear of discovery is massively overblown, give them assurance their diaper is hidden when leaving the house and in the extremely unlikely event someone does notice you can easily say their having some waterworks issues. People however unless very close friends or family won’t mention anything.

This final one is extremely common in men and the best way to solve is by making sure either they have no choice but to stay diapered after an orgasm or use a chastity cage to prevent them in the first place. The latter I’ve found to be very helpful for my partner if you’re open to it and it has lots of benefits for you too.

So I overall I cannot recommend highly enough that  you encourage or force your partner to be diapered as much as possible. You might want exceptions for work and family initially but your goal (knowing that the time in diapers helps them) is to keep them diapered as much of each day as feasible.

If they didn’t answer with a hard no to any of the first 4 usage questions, then their diapers should be their toilet when wearing. If they do have a hard limit on messing then that can be accommodated but make sure it’s not just them saying what they think you want to hear.

Regression

If they identify as middle then this is easy to accommodate and just make sure you let them know that you want them to explore this side of themselves and they shouldn’t feel embarrassed to do childish activities at home. Buy them coloring books, lego sets and put cartoons on tv for them without them asking are easy ways to show this support.

Most will have identified with baby activities to some degree. If they’re in the novice or intermediate categories then your main role is to be supportive and encourage them with these simple baby elements. Help them pick out baby-themed diapers for the day or buy new ones online together. At night always have them dressed in a baby onesie and encourage a pacifier to be used before bed. Giving them a nighttime drink in a bottle will show your support and is convenient to drink in bed.

If they’re in the experienced or full ab categories you will need to consider more significant involvement. At these levels you should try help them get into a baby headspace lasting several hours at least 3 times a week. When in this headspace you should treat them completely as a baby, helping feed, check and change them and giving them baby toys or shows to watch. This time will massively destress them so it’s worth the effort. Outside of these times baby clothing and diapers should be the norm at home with pacifier usage encouraged at any time they want. If you have a spare room and can afford it, creating a dedicated nursery for them can be life-changing for them and keep everything in one easy place which can be locked when you have guests.

This might feel extreme to you right now but our experience is people become more AB over time so you should prepare the slowly move up the bands.

Forced Diapers & Regression

I don’t think this element gets talked about enough but many ABDLs are driven by the desire for it to be forced upon them.

If they’ve said they want to be forced to wear and use diapers occasionally then make sure that a few times a week you present them with diapers and tell them they’re in them until you say so. Forcing them to use their diapers can be achieved through making sure they drink plenty and using laxatives or suppositories.

If they have said they’d like to be forced all the time then the solution is clear. Read our article on making the decision for them and return them to diapers full time, make it clear you’re forcing this decision for them as you know it what they want and it will be good for them. They will resist at points but stand firm, they’ll thank you later. 

Even if they’re in diapers full time with no toilet privileges, you should still force them to truly lose control twice a week. I recommend doing one suppository a week; before watching tv or a film together, before sending them out of the house to go shopping or randomly in the daytime when their next change is a few hours away. And also using a tablet laxative once a week which can be given in the evening to ensure they lose control overnight.

Depending on their answer to being force to be baby, use this to dictate the frequency. If occasionally, then a few times a week make sure you treat them as a baby at the more extreme end. For example have an evening where you feed them their dinner while they sit in AB clothes and a thick diaper. Or surprise them with a whole day at the weekend where they must act like a baby.

If they’re like that more permanently, use the same guide as above but make sure they’re always in baby attire at home. You should also seriously consider creating a nursery room if possible.

Gender is easy as if that’s something they want just switch the types of diapers and clothing you buy for them and call them your baby girl, etc.

Bondage elements should generally be included if forced diapers is something they need. At a minimum use restrictive clothing to prevent them from accessing their diapers, rear zipping onesies or all-in-ones are ideal. Even adaptive clothing combined with padded mittens works well. When unsupervised access to their diapers should be prevented where possible and they should get used to asking to be changed or released if they’re changing themselves.

A locking diaper cover or belt is a good addition. Finally, they should experience times when they’re completely restrained and using their diapers is forced upon them. For daytime a straightjacket is ideal and it is perfect to watch TV together or prevent them from using their phone. My favorite is using bed restraints combined with an overnight laxative so they experience a true feeling of helplessness.

Summary

Hopefully this has been helpful and helps you understand what your partner identifies as. If this all feels too much I’d recommend starting with the diaper and usage elements first as this is normally the most important step and then layer in the AB and forced elements over the next couple of months.

I’m also conscious that I’ve likely missed off a big section I should have covered so let me know in the comments.

“ezra miller is going to be the first lgbt+ person to play a superhero!!”

i mean yes he’s going to be the first to get a solo movie but

The Perfect AB/DL Diaper Check: A step-by-step guide

So you’re a caregiver, and it’s been a few hours since you’ve last changed your little’s diaper, so you know it’s time for a check! But how do you perform the most humiliating, blushy, little wrigging diaper check to make sure you skyrocket your little into littlespace with a helpful acronym.

D - Distraction: If you’re going to perform this expert-level caregiver maneuver, you need to begin with a distraction. Littles are easily occupied, so this could just be introducing a new toy, giving them their bottle or paci, or even telling them to look in the direction you want them to while you get your hands up close and personal with their diaper.

I - Initiate: This is where many caregivers would normally stop, but this is just the beginning for us! This is where you perform your normal diaper check procedure, by patting the front to feel for the warmth of little pee-pees, checking the leg cuffs with your fingers for saturation, and peeling back the rear side of the diaper to look for stinkies. You’re going to know if they need a change or not by this point, but if they’ve had an accident in their diapees, you’ll process through the next steps.

A - Apply Force: Now we’re getting to the fun part. Applying force is all about mushing that tush and squishing that padding! By applying force to their diaper, it’s assuring them that you know you’ve found something stinky in their pants, and they have no choice but to feel it themselves.

P - Pander: Its not enough to let them feel their messy diaper, now they need to hear all about it! Dawdle over them with phrases such as “gosh baby, I can’t believe you soaked your diaper and didn’t even know it!” Or “oh yeah, I knew from the second I walked over here that’s where that smell was coming from, it’s so stinky!” We’re really trying to up the blush factor here, so don’t skimp on the details.

E - Embelish: Now that they know that you know their diaper is saturated, it’s time that you know that they know that you know how to push all the right buttons (you know?). To embelish the diaper check, you need overexagerate what you’re doing. You can do this by saying “you must have fit an ocean’s worth of pee-pee in your diaper!” Or “I think I’m going to run out of wipes cleaning this dirty bum” to make this dirty diaper seem more daunting than any other they’ve had before.

R - Restrain: We’re not done poking and prodding this diaper just yet, but in order to move onto the next part, we need to hold this little one down. Either push them over a couch, lean them over your lap, or if you really want to go all out, tie them face-down to a bed or couch, so that you have unrestricted access to their diaper area.

C - Chastise: You know what’s better than a humiliating diaper check? Blush-inducing spankies! Now, we’re not trying to punish, but by chastise, we just want to drive home an element of dominance by applying some heavy force to the dirty diaper. A couple slaps with the hand or an implement will do just fine to bring our little stinker over the edge of helplessness.

H - Hugging: Okay, we’ve hit them with a little fire, now we want to go full-on sweet for the next step. After they have been chastised, bring them into your lap and hold them tight, but make sure you’re still touching their diaper, either by patting it or by bouncing the little on your knee to continue to make them really feel the dirty diaper. Lay a little love on them, because they’re about to get really vulnerable, really fast.

E - Expose: Time to let them know that they’re in for a diaper change right now! At this point, they’re probably ready for it, but by exposing this fact to them, you’re letting them know you decide that it’s time for a fresh diaper, not them. Not only that, but you’ve also exposed their need for you to change them, and nothing will make a little feel subby sooner than guiding them by hand to the changing table as they waddle to their designated spot for their diapers.

C - Clean: We’ve had a lot of fun here today, but now it’s time to get to business. Now they they are on the changing table, go through you’re regular diaper changing routine with them, but don’t forget to emphasize how saturated their diaper is, since we are going the extra mile here. Once they’re all clean, put their clean diaper on them and give it a good rub, letting them know how much better feeling (and smelling) their fresh diaper is now that you’ve changed them.

K - Kissies: Remember, as caregivers we do these things out of love for our littles, and as littles we let our caregivers do these things to us because we know they love us. End it all with a big kiss on their pacifier and a raspberry on their belly, and bring them back to where they were playing so that they can get back to important little business until the next time they need their diaper changes, which probably won’t be too much later based on how many accidents they have!

What is the most important part of a diaper check to you? What do you like to do to your little? What do you want your caregiver to do to you?

FemDom Ideas for Couples

From one of my readers (thank you!)…

A list of ideas and activities for dominant women to use on their submissive male partners… to tease, humiliate, discipline, punish, and torment him.

Ways to Tease Him

- Tease Your slave to get him to the point where he’ll “Do Anything to please You” - Make him strip naked while You keep Your clothes on. - Have him kneel before You and kiss Your feet. - Have him address You as ‘Mistress’ - Have him kiss Your ass…make him beg to kiss Your ass. - Tie his hands and have him undress You with his mouth/teeth. - Don’t let him masturbate or touch his cock without Your permission at any time. - Tie his hands behind his back. Have him kneel with knees spread naked in front of You while You read or watch TV, occasionally nudging his balls or penis with Your shoes. - Either order him to stay erect, or don’t give him permission to have a hard on… either way, punish him if he fails! - Use some strong string (kite string), tie a slip noose in the end and tighten it around the head of the penis, tug on it, pull it shake it, lead him with it, whatever You please. - Show Your slave Your panty crotch, make him smell it, but no touching without permission. - Tie Your slave spread eagle to the bed and tease him for hours. Make sure he has a big hard on, but once he does only touch it when he needs just a little more encouragement, don’t let him cum. -Put on his favorite lingerie and tease him with Your beauty. -Scratch him with Your finger nails. -Tickle him. Pinch his nipples. -Sit on his chest and find out what he would do to be allowed to kiss Your nipple. Let him almost kiss it but pull away, make him beg. -Take a break, put some worn panties over his face and leave the room for a while and let him think about what else You might do. -Squat above his face, make him reach with his tongue to taste the crotch of Your panties…get more promises -Blindfold him and make him lick You to several orgasms. Take a break, cum back and do it all again. - Rub his face against Your pussy or sit on his face, but gag him with Your panties or a gag so that he can’t lick You. - Tie his balls off to something behind him so he has to tug on them to smell Your panties or kiss Your ass…stay just out of reach. - Masturbate in front of him. Use a dildo or a vibrator. - Put the base of the dildo in his mouth and make him satisfy You with it. Do it so his nose presses between Your ass cheeks. He’ll be Your little brown noser and love it. - Make him lick the dildo clean. - Tie him down to the bed and tie his hands to his penis but do not give him permission to cum with harsh punishments for disobedience. - Put Your worn panties over his head so he can smell your odor. - Make him wear a cock ring (a watch strap or cat collar works well)

Ways to Humiliate Him

- Make him wear Your panties or lingerie, dress him up as a little girl or a French maid. - Make him do housework naked or dressed in women’s clothes. - Have him pamper You, have him: - give You a foot/back/full body massage - give You a pedicure/manicure, - paint Your finger/toe nails. - bathe You/shave your legs. - cook and serve You a nice dinner. - Make him hand wash Your panties and lingerie. - Make him polish Your shoes with his tongue. - Make him wear a collar and lead him around with a leash, like a dog. - Attach a leash to his balls or cock ring, and lead him around with that. - Tie it off in front of the sink while he does the dishes. - Ride him around as Your pony boy…spurs? a riding crop? - Dress him up like the slut that he is, wear a strap-on dildo and make him beg to suck it. fuck him. (don’t forget the fuck-me red lipstick!) - Make him wear Your panties or lingerie under his regular clothes when he goes out or goes to work so that he will think of his Mistress constantly. - Make him masturbate for You, make him beg for permission to cum, don’t let him, punish him if he does. - Make him screw himself with a dildo. - Make him earn his rewards; for example: - Allow him to kiss Your ass after the dishes are done. - 1 minute of pleasure for him for 10 minutes of Yours.  5 minutes of pleasure for him after he makes You cum 5 times.  Spank him 10 times for each minute it takes him to make You cum. - If You think he’s earned an orgasm, make him cum on Your feet or Your ass and then make him lick You clean. - Order him to bring himself to the edge of orgasm and stay there until You give him permission. When You give the command he must cum within 5 seconds or he will be punished and/or not allowed to cum at all. (keep him that way for 30 minutes, an hour…or as long as You want) - If he’s really horny and bothering You, You may want to curb his interest by ordering him to jerk off 5 or 6 times in a row. Use it as skin conditioner… 3 times on each foot, have him spread it around and lick them clean after each time. - Always make him lick You clean after sex. - When You go out, order him to tie himself up, be naked or dressed up as a girl and be kneeling at the door for when You arrive. - Lock a padlock on his balls. - Give him a golden shower. - Make him think of a new way for You to humiliate him. Punish him if You don’t think it’s good enough. Make him post it to the net (and send it to me to add to the list) Ways to Discipline and Punish and Torment Him

- Spank or whip him. (wooden spoon, hair brush, belt, ruler, ping pong paddle, riding crop, switch, cat-o-nine tails…) - Tie him in an uncomfortable position. - Tie his ankles together and attach his balls to them. - Hog tied. (wrists and ankles tied together) - Hanging from the ceiling by his wrists. - In a chair with his knees pulled up to his shoulders – good for spanking and everything is exposed and vulnerable. - Tie up his balls and cock with a long leather thong, clothes line, or boot lace. Use a long piece, and wrap the base and balls repeatedly. Do each ball separately. Tie tight loops around his shaft from base to tip then tie the end off back between his legs and up to a belt or to his handcuffs. - Make him wear a chastity belt or cock cage. - Attach clothes pins or nipple clips to his nipples, balls, cock or wherever. - Put a butt plug in his ass. Or get out the strap-on. - Enema. - Double up on his domestic chores, make them more difficult: tie his hands; make him use a toothbrush to clean the toilet, tie his ankles with a short chain and make him wear extra high heels. - Deny him orgasms for a long period of time. - Have him lick You clean after you pee. - Put Ben-gay or icy-hot on his penis and nipples. - Drip candle wax on him. - Make him do exercises (jumping jacks, leg spreads, squats, aerobics, yoga…) - Humiliate him in public…take him shopping for panties/lingerie

This picture makes me a little sad.

A short clip from last weekend ✨

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Ein kurzes Video vom letzten Wochenende ✨

Trying to stay cool in my bed. Still 80° in my basement

Carousel with 2 stuffers.